Therapist Day

Well, I did it. Had anxiety attacks all weekend finishing my bankruptcy paperwork then the credit counseling, but I turned in my paperwork to the lawyer today. They said they will get to it in a few weeks cause there are people ahead of me, but in a few months when debts are discharged I can start saving money again. Once the bankruptcy gets filed, the credit cards have to stop calling. Won't be able get loans or credit cards right away cause Ch 7 bankruptcy stays on your credit report for 10 years. Hopefully employers doing a credit checks won't think badly of me. Over time I can build up my credit score back to excellent.

I visited my therapist and he said I need better coping skills to deal with stress in life. Appliances break, cars get wrecked, and jobs get lost, and happens to everyone. I said I turned in my bankruptcy papers to the lawyer today and roommate is gone so utilities and food cost will go down in the future. He gave me homework to connect with people like sister or people from work. He wants me to join a ladies club or church to be around people. I need to recover from my financial trauma and take care of myself again.

Worked on uploading my beaded pens I made last night for sale on my online shop. Hopefully someone buys something. I need the money not keep spending money and time making things people don't buy. Still in a daze from roommate's sudden departure on Monday. House feels empty even with my cats. One cat jumped on the bed this morning and scratched my nose so had to wash the bloody sheets with the rest of my laundry. Did the dishes too. I lived by myself for 25 years and I can get used to being by myself again. We both expected this day to come when he would leave to take charge of his life and future. He wants to get married to his girlfriend and have his own family. I don't fit into that picutre. I certainly didn't expect him to be here for so long. I wish him well. It was nice having someone around so I miss him. If the new arrangement doesn't work out, then he can always come back. I have pets buried in the backyard so I will never leave this house until I die.

Day off

Slept half the day since I was up late making beaded keychains and pens. Took photos today. Have to get them out there so people can buy them. Ate some crackers from losing my appetite. I know I'm depressed and walking around in a daze. Waitign for my credit counseling certificate to coem so I can turn in my papers to the bankrupcty lawyer.

Skidded on the ice

Had fun sliding on the ice this morning going home. Braked for a red light and car failed to slow down so it was either hit the truck in front of me or jump the curb and hit a light pole. Light pole survived without damage that I could see. A guy across the street tried to push me out of the snow I was stuck in. He called 2 buddies who came to help push me out of the snow. I waved goodbye and came home.

Doing my credit counseling for my bankruptcy filing. It's such a good time reading how to save money. Go to library and borrow movies and books for free, and free internet access. Shop for clothes at thirft stores. Lower your electric bill by turning off lights when not using them. My favorite was my housing should be $525 per month according my in income. Yeah, a studio apartment is $800 in the city. $700 if bad neighborhood. Oh, I should get a roommate to help lower expenses. Oh, OK. I have an unemployed roommate plus his friend living here who does food delivery, and he pays for food for himself but not for my roommate and I. I should also get a part time job to increase my income. Applied all summer for part-time work and not one interview. I can't do a part time working overnights and feels like I work 6 days a week. I should try debt consolidation. I already did and emptied my IRAs trying to pay everything. Anything else you can tell me that I don't already know or actual have control over?

Roommate and his car buddy left around 6 PM while I watching the news and reading emails. In Stand By Me, Gordie says "Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant". It's true. I think I am still in shock of him leaving suddenly right when I am preparing to turn in my bankruptcy papers. I know he feels guilty not helping me out as much as he could. He has his own problems to deal with. I need to refocus on taking care of myself and my cats, and my house. When he left, he told me he was nervous about going because his friendship with his buddy is in shambles and he is hiding drinking when roommate is not around. He has no idea what he is getting into and I might need to come get him if this doesn't work out. I said I would come get him if it didn't work out. I said earlier when he first told me he was leaving for good that if 10 years down the road and he was sleeping under a bridge suffering from hypothermia that I would come get him. I would drive to New York to come get him. I keep myself listed for family emergencies and pets are buried in the backyard so I will never leave my house until I die. He is now not taking his cat with him as he planned before. So it if it does work out, he will come back for his cat. Then he left not saying goodbye, not even a hug goodbye. He send a text message saying he will miss me. I will miss him too. It is hard for me to make friends. People think we have a weird relationship. He is a lot like what I used to be. Except I wasn't thrown away and forced to make friends with other homeless people who love meth and weed. Though I said his friends were just using him and eventually he did let go of several of them realizing I was right about that. My parents let me live with them 2 years after I graduated college and my crazy mom scares people away so I have trouble making friends. Most people are superficial and snobby and I don't meet their standards. WHo wants to be friends with someone with an overbearing, dysfunctional family.

Worked on beaded key chains and beaded pens to sell on my online shop. Hopefully I can sell something. I need to make more money since I can't find a better paying job. I decided I need to stop applying for jobs. I check the want ads every day so taking a breaking until Valentine's Day. If I get a job interview, of course I will go. Just takign a break from applying for a few weeks.

Changes in the wind

Well, got all my bankruptcy papers filled out and bills copied for the lawyer. Plan to turn them in tomorrow. People tell me I will feel better once it's over and stop fretting about it. I think I will stop applying for jobs until Valentine's Day. I check the want ads practically every day so I need a break. If I get an interview, of course I will go, just cease applying for a a few weeks. I need to take better care of my self so will focus on that. I got out my Valentine's decorations out and looking at the stuff I made last year nobody would buy. I doubt anyone will buy them this year so just save them for me. I got some beads, beadable pens, beadable keychains, and bracelets so will work on those my days off. If can't sell them then I will give them away on Valentine's Day. I have to keep trying to make more money somehow when employers won't hire me.

I researched making epoxy resin jewelry, t-shirt transfers, decorating drink tumblers, and cake mixes in a jar. The resin jewelry I might do later, but not now. I would need tiny flowers or tiny decorations to put it them. T-shirt and Tumbler deals I doubt my abilities to draw out stuff, my artist drawing is not that great. Cake mix would need a 32 oz mason jar and cake would be a 1 layer 8-inch cake or 12 cupcakes so maybe not worth my time right now. This where I got into trouble my first year, trying to expand too fast. See if people like my beads first.

Prepared a candle gift for the departing HR person. Last day is Friday. Such a sweet person, I will miss her.

Roommate said he planned on leaving today and later said he was waiting for the green light from buddy's mother to come over. Apparently she is sending gas money to them.

Hit with a hammer

Roommate wakes me up upset I turned downed the thermostat (it was 80 degrees in here and I'm sweating). When I do that it is cold in the basement where he spends most of his time. I had about 2 hours of sleep so I just grunted. After a couple more hours of sleep, I got up to start looking for dehumidifers that could improve the temperature in the basement. Well found some but they were to expensive or too small to be effective. I came home with groceries from the store sale and roommate wants to talk to me. I apologize about not getting a dehumidifier for him like I messaged him that I would do today and explained I got groceries for us. He said not to worry about that.

He was offered a job by car buddy's mom and invited to live in a room in her home. But she lives 2 hours away. Won't tell me what city, but still in the state so not violating his probation. He is taking his clothes, backpack, cat, and few belongings, but will leave some things here he will come back and visit to get. The mom does handyman work as a self employed person and buddy's brother lives with her too. Ok. He can't get a job here, can't make money here, and he is frustrated. He didn't say when exactly he is leaving. I wished him well and said I would miss him. I hope it works out for him. For a year I have expected this day to come and I am half sad and half relieved. When he was gone to Tennessee with his friend it felt weird the first couple days not to have him here, but I got over it and enjoyed watching the cats come out, plus having the house to myself. I got accustomed to him being here for so long, I will be fine and get accustomed back to being alone with 2 cats again. It was the plan when he moved in that he was expected to leave eventually. Soon he will.

Taking care of myself

Did an hour of exercise today. Cooped up in my house, my muscles are getting stiff. Looking forward to spring and walking around local lake again.

I told roommate everyone is stressing me out by telling me to kick him out for not helping me out. I don't kick him out cause I understand how hard it is to get a job. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I have looked for a job for a year while working a job and running an online store doing farmer's markets. He is not the mooch people think he is. But as time goes by of him not working, it gets hard to defend why he is still here after a year living here. He told me he filled out a bunch of applications, but nobody gives him an interview. I understand his frustration. He even talked about going to donate plasma again to get money to groceries after I told him the local grocery store is having a sale.

Watched ice skating US Championship on TV. Later, went to work and sweated from the furnace working again. I was wearing a heavy sweater and tights under my dress pants cause it's cold outisde.

Back together again

Woke up in the afternoon and roommate is all good with car buddy again. Heard car buddy had an interview at a fast food place and they are talking about getting a place together again. Just the other day roommate was looking at coal mining or oil rig jobs out of state when probation over with. He can't make money here. That freaked out car buddy at the prospect of roommate leaving. Then roommate got upset of him being too clingy and needs to keep pushing him away. Oh well, they are happy again.

Well, need to exercise now. My therapy session made me realize I'm not taking care of myself. So exercising one day and meditation the next day. Then update my bankruptcy paperwork before work. Roommate made spaghetti. I like mine plain with parmacean cheese so he cooked it with milk and butter. It was very good.

Last night's drama

Well roommate and car buddy had another fight. He used roommate's phone for food delivery cause his is offline. Well he changed the password on roommate's phone that upset roommate. Friend bought him a margarita to be forgiven. Well he left and came back drunk and the fight begins. Doing laundry across roommate's room I heard one of them crying but unsure which. Well, friend went to leave saying to me that he threatened his life, but roommate pulled him back from driving drunk. Gets upset when friend bumps into my display case with figurines and a couple fall over. Don't break her things or roommate will kill friend. Both go downstairs again. Roommate comes up later unsure what to do. He wants to throw him out again, but then he demands his gifts back. He just gave roommate his old computer, which now has a broken monitor from their fight last night. Roommate is sad he can't play Minecraft now. I explain that demanding gifts back is not really a gift, it's a loan. Well this morning girlfriend came over and roommate is saying his friend threw a chair at him last night. Hope it wasn't my chair and it is now broken. He is so happy she is here. He even cooked the cinnamon rolls I bought. Girlfriend got a restraining order from her ex. She talked to the friend saying he is going down a dark path. Alcohol, meth, marijuana, cigarettes and whatever else he does have bad/dark pathways.

Saw a therapist today. I got my insurance back. Roommate says I need to get over my depression. I was recovering from it during the holidays and baking treats to give away. Now I am being threatened with wage garnishment from not paying credit cards and every time I go near my bankruptcy paperwork, I have an anxiety attack. He said I will feel better once I file the bankruptcy and stop stressing about it. So updating my paperwork and making an appointment with the bankruptcy attorney. He also said I need to be more firm with roommate about getting a job or find another place to live. I said it is hard to be firm when I'm barely functioning from stress and anxiety. Have another appointment next week. He talked about medication. I said I was open to that. I said earlier in the session when my insurance ended and no more meds that I felt better cause meds made me sleepy so I took them before bed.

No interview again

Scratch another interview. I emailed the manager back to set up an interview and they never answered me. What, because I didn't pick up the phone when they felt like calling, I don't get an interview. Managers are so weird sometimes.

On a plus I saw 3 doe deer walk down my street tonight.

Possible interview

Yippee! Someone called and emailed wanting to set up an interview. I emailed back I have the next two days off.

Strike a coworker

Hotel fired one of the shuttle drivers last week for misbehavior and another has been filling in their hours. She is one of those all over the place employees. Helps with breakfast, with Banquet events, tends bar, housekeeper when someone doesn't come in, and fills in as shuttle driver. Now she says she will apply to be the new driver because her Banquet coworkers are calling her a traitor for working in another section. And these people are from another hotel. When the task force manager came he brought employees from his old hotel over to this hotel. And there is a lot of favoritism going on saying screw you to this hotel's employees. She complained events were cancelled from the pipes bursting and went to other hotels, and nobody told her she didn't need to come in to work that night. She is tired of this new manager who doesn't care, except for his inner circle peeps from his old hotel. We will gladly take her. We need a shuttle driver and awesome employee.

Nice offer

Wow, the hotel corporate office is offering an employee only flat rate for hotel rooms from Bahamas to Hawaii. Great, if only I can afford the plane ticket to get there.

Chores done and Back to work

Finished shoveling my driveway in 2 hours so I could get out without getting stuck. Then made clothing charity donation, turned in my pop bottles, sold my Vogue magazines for $2 at the bookstore, and picked up groceries. Now the news says 3 inches of snow coming in the afternoon and overnight. I handle 3 inches.

Arrived at work and well I missed excitement my days off. Pipe burst in the break room and flooded the back hallway again. Again, fire alarm went off at 10PM from leaky pipe. Then another day a pipe burst over the accounting office so accountant had to move to a HR office. But on a plus, the lobby isn't freezing. Though had a couple people complain about brown water coming out of their faucet and low water pressure.

Interesting Day

My adventure last night at work was security found a kitchen staff member sleeping the Executive Chef office and I had to check who it was. He sat in the chair in the dark cold room (furnance is broken so whole hotel is cold at 62 degree) and asked if there was a problem. Yeah, it's 2 AM and you are off the clock sleeping in an office chair like a homeless person. I asked he couldn't get home tonight cause I can get him a room. Walked him to the front desk and had him sign for the employee room due to weather. I was in the middle of my audit so couldn't check him in yet but made a key and sent him on his way.

Make it home and run through the hard snow so I don't get stuck. Hooray! Wake up later to roommate and car buddy going out to a store. They celebrated his birthday yesterday here and car buddy never left. They come back and I go back to sleep. I finally get myself out of bed in the middle of the afternoon. Roommate is drunk out of his mind with bloodshot eyes. Car buddy seems just fine. Apparently there was a challenge for roommate to drinka 6-pack of 16 oz cans of beer. He opened the 5th can of the pack fumbling around to open it. He reeled around the house crashing into walls and fell on the floor to need help getting up. Had to use the bathroom a dozen times. Everytime he looked at me he smiled with a giggle. Good to know he's happy to see me. I asked car buddy to stop challenging him cause he is scaring me with him going down stairs to his basement room. He can easily fall down the stairs and get hurt.

I sat in my room working on emails and setting up a new online shop. I am so desperate for money I paid someone $20 to set up a Shopify store selling other people's products. They picked kitchenware, but set it up as a furniture store so had to fix and delete alot of it. I hope to add my candles and wax melts later. I have to keep trying to make money since nobody will hire me at a better job that pays enough to live off of. Once the alcohol wore off, roommate wants to cuddle. We cuddled when he got back from Tennessee so I am good for a while. He said he wasn't drunk before. Yea, his bloodshot eyes said differently.

Frozen pipe burst

OMG, it's so cold outside. Shoveled for an hour yesterday after waking up and then come in to get warm. Go back outside and 5 minutes later I'm frozen. Got half the snow behind the car so should get out to go to work. Roommate came home around 10 PM. Good thing cause I was sleeping on the couch and had to get ready for work. He wanted booty, but I had to get ready for work in 20 minutes. At least he helped everytime I got stuck in the driveway cause only half shoveled. I sleep all day and so cold outisde I can't get it finished.

Arrive to work and furnace is broken. Lobby has rented heaters blowing hot air, but employee back hall is freezing. Tried to use pop machine in breakroom and sludge comes out. Ok, drink water. Chef tells me pop is frozen from broken furnace and soon frozen pipe is going to burst. Get my pop from the bar. 1 hour later, fire alarm goes off from a leaking pipe. Luckily engineer hasn't left cause he was waiting for shuttle driver to take him to his car, but now he is staying. He takes the fire department to the basement. Had to wake up chief engineer after midnight at home to get over here. Fire alarm went off two hours later. Now have people demanding free rooms for being woken up twice in the middle of the night. One guy came over and threatened to sue the hotel cause he is pilot who needs 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep to fly a plane and our leaky pipe keeps setting off the smoke alarm waking him up.

I messaged my roommate that I wanted hug him so bad when I get home. I had a really stressful night. He will get his desired booty when I come home.

Nightmare getting to work

Had a nightmare getting to work. Garage door is manual so have to park in driveway to shut the door. Got stuck so called in saying I can't leave my driveway and have to shovel to put car back in garage. Realized I shifted into neutral so once in drive, eventually got car back in garage. But garage door gear is frozen and won't turn. Front door lock wouldn't accept key so went to back door in knee deep snow, kicked in the gate latch that was frozen and struggled to open back door lock. Garage door opened, I got the car in scratching my front fender struggling to steer. Once got traction from garage, I was able to gun it through the snow and far enough from door to move forward. Shut the door, got out of driveway, and got stuck on a side street. Reversed enough downhill to get traction to move uphill and to a main street that was plowed. Once on main street, I was fine and got to work 18 minutes late complete with anxiety attack. Which means it took me 45 min minutes to get to work on a normal 15 minute drive. Phone died so couldn't call them to say I was coming. Stopped relief before he left his home. Finally calmed down to breathe normal again after a couple of hours. Getting home was OK until I got stuck in my driveway. Got out 6 times with the shovel and car still wouldn't move. Grab the kitty litter for traction and I struggled to steer to avoid hitting the car against the door again, but I got it in without another scratch on the front fender. Changing into pjs and having a cup of cocoa. My dress pants and socks soaked (booties are not waterproof). My tights under pants are a good barrier.

Blizzard Rerun

Wasn't snowing when I left for work but was fully coming down when I left. 4 housekeepers called in. Shuttle driver ready to find a new job. Half a dozen employees stayed over in the hotel. Only half full so plenty of room. Strange how we are half full when Caucus Night is Monday. Drive home wasn't bad until reached unplowed residential streets (why can't they plow residential streets before the snow stops). Managed to turn into the driveway and park in the garage just fine. Snow reached my ankles so no big deal. I drive a SUV that is wonderful in this snow. Would be more wonderful if it wasn't 2 wheel drive.

Go to leave for work and snow has doubled. 8.9 inches total. Not as bad with fluffy snow that easily blows around. Shoveled for an hour before it got too cold and had to stop.

Another blizzard coming

Spent 3 hours shoveling the rest of my driveway. Now another storm is coming tomorrow.

Shoveling Away

We got a total of 10.9 inches of snow. It reached over my snow boots. I shoveled 2 hours before the sun went and it got too cold to do anymore. Finish tomorrow. Neighbor was plowing the street since it take 24 hours after the snow stops to plow my dead end street. He works for the electric company and needs out. They said they started plowing the residence streets today at 3PM. Nice.

News said the malls were closed. I worked in 2 malls and they never close cause when schools and offices close, people go shopping. Manager always refused to close the store if we had 1 customer in the store. We closed when 0 customers appeared within 2 hours, then they closed. One store I worked at complained I was late making me retort that I skidded 3 times getting here and lucky I showed up at all. Grocery stores was busy today. They say stay at home, but some people like me working at a hotel don't get that option. When worked at a car rental, no weather closed us down and I once was picked up to work since my car was buried behind a snow pile pile and I didn't have time to dig it out. I don't think my mail carrier came either since no boot prints in the yard.

My ferrets would have loved this thick, heavy snow tall enough to build snow tunnels. But they are in heaven now. Bless them.

Snow storm

Snowstorm started this afternoon. Roommate is still stuck in Tennessee. I have the next two days off and just bought groceries so just sitting at home doing laundry. At rowk I told my coworker who will take my plaxce tonight about the pending snowstorm. He sais he used to live in Minnesota so it was child's play here.

Averted disaster

I haven't seen my roommate's cat around since he left for Tennessee a couple days ago. I look around for her and wondered if she got trapped in my roommate's room with the door shut. Open the door and hear meowing. Good, I found her. Yeah, found her locked in a carrier. I let her out and she was hungry and then pooped in the litterbox. Messaged roommate stuck in Tennesse cause they ran out of money and need to earn some more to get back home. Sigh. He replied he put the cat in the carrier as punishment for eating out of my cat's food dish since cats are territory about their food bowls. Then he left with his friends and forgot about it. I messaged back that he needs to tell me when he does things like this so I can her out to eat and pee. I'm sure the cat bed in the carrier is soaked in urine. That poor cat.

Road Trip

Had a fight with roommate the other night. He went on jabbering while high from a vaping cartridge how he is a psychopath, then sociopath, biploar, and has tourettes. I'm like, Let me add up all these disorders you say you have: Anxiety and Depression, ADHD, and now psychopath or sociopath, tourettes, and bipolar. Have you actually been diagnosed by an actually psychitrist having these disorders. Ok, sociopath or psychopath was a self-diagnosing. I once said there is nothing wrong with him, his problem is being surrounded by manipulators. Then I toss in that he is an addictive personality who deals with his emotions using sex, tobacco ciagrattes, alcohol, and drugs. He argues he is not an addict, he just takes any drug given to him by his friends, gets high every day until he runs out of marijuana, and needs a pick my up to do a job interview or go to work at a job with a difficult manager. Oh, but he's not addict? He told me he gave up meth and then told me later when his friend visited a few days ago they both got high on meth. Oh, he means he doesn't buy meth anymore, if his friend gives it to him for free that doesn't count. He even says therapy doesn't help him with with all his problems. I asked why, cause the therapist will tell him to get off the drugs. He affirms a therapist would encourage his illegal drug use cause marijuana calms his anxiety. I doubt that. He calls me an asshole for calling him an addict and not believing all his diagnoses. He storms downstairs to his room and stayed there the rest of the night. In the fight, I learn a friend of his asked him to take in a new girl they just met into our house cause she had no where to go. But then said never mind. Good, because I am not a free hotel or homeless shelter for every homeless person he has ever met. I gathered, my roommate never met this person and the friend just met this person. He also said he would take care of the dishes and now I am to do cause he hurt his back. Ok, then.

Yesterday he left with car buddy plus 2 other guys to go to Tennessee. I asked what they will do there and he didn't answer. He sent me a message how they ran out of money and have to earn some more to come home. Ok, they are probably doing food service delivery whereever they are.

Had a phone message from someone wantign to set up an interview for an accountign job. I sent them a jobsite message and called twice to leave a voicemail. Geez, why can't people communicate. Because I didn't pick up the phone when they felt like calling, I don't get an interview. And employers wonder why hiring people is so hard.

Happy New Year

New Year's Eve was good. Came home from work and slept until the afternoon. Made it the Extended Family Christmas celebration at my brother's house. Sister-in-law wore a hat from chemo treatments. Why doesn't she get get a wig? She wears it over her forehead so can't tell her eyebrows are missing. Fake eyelashes and a brow pencil can resolve that. To each their own. Within an hour everyone left so I was last to leave. I guess nobody wanted dinner leftovers after a big lunch. Then spent a few hours with roommate playing video games while Iread my emails.

Went to work and heard screaming at midnight. Had a cop working there who told everyone to taje partying upstairs so didn't deal with much. Told the cop that security doesn't deal with drunk people very well. Drunk guests will get confrontational and ready to throw them out the window. Sometimes I have to defuse the situation. I have the power to kick people out so drunk guests treat me differently. I took the liquor bottles out of the gift shop so people returning from the bars wouldn't grab them and demand I sell them more booze. And risk them dropping the bottles that I would have clean up. Can't sell liquor from 2 AM to 6 AM per state law. It was a peaceful night. Came back home and when woke up started putting away the Christmas decorations. Just have the outside lights left to take down. Then back to work again.

Disappointment

Roommate got a phone call from his Dad as I was doing the dishes. I tried the common on internet baking soda and vinegar mix unclog drain solution and then rinse cycle. Will see if it acutally works. I have no money for a plumber nor new dishwasher. I can't spend money until I save enough to pay my mortgage and student loan next week. Plus I bought a new printer this week cause old one won't turn on. I still have yet to set it up. I am either sleeping or working. I was washing dishes by hand. He told his Dad he had a phone interview and waiting to here from the manager to do the in person interview. He told me he had a job. Application and phone interview are not a job offer. I heard him say his ex girlfirend has a new girlfriend so he was discarded. Most of the conversation I ignored while listening to my IHeart radio music to give him privacy. Bilbo has been reactling snappy when petting him when I get near his hips. Catfight injury or arthritis, I don't know. Roommate has some back issues and thinking of visiting a chiropractor. It's a holiday weekend so offices won't be open for a few days.

More adventure

Did laundry today and putting my clothes away, I notice a Christmas sweatshirt missing. Roommate cracking jokes asks what is wrong since I am not laughing. I can't figure out where it is. Wore it just before Christmas so has to be in my dirty laundry baskets, but it's not here. He starts looking around and I try to remember last time I saw it. Then he thinks I'm blaming him for it. No, I don't beleive he went through my dirty laundry and stole my sweatshirt. Why would want a fat lady's sweatshirt decorated for Christmas? After 15 minutes of searching the house, I finally recall removing clothes and laying them on the floor to sort the light and dark colors. Roommate rushed to the laundry room and found the sweatshirt on the floor. I had to comfort him and assure that I was not accusing him of tealing my sweatshirt. It was more like lying your phone and can't recall where you put it.

Roommate had good news. He got a job at a gas station. He has been complaining my dishwasher doesn't clean very well and thinks it's clogged. Use my new drain snakes, but I need a new dishwasher or a plumber. I can afford neither. Have to go to work and can't deal with it right now. Supervisor said the hotel was considering hiring a part time person in accounting. I thought for a moment and replied I didn't want to work with the accountant. Very antisocial person. She walks by with her down as if she is trying to be invisible to me. They also said the new sales coordinator looks at their phone a lot and has a bad attitude. Yeah, they hired this person instead because they had experience. Supervisor doesn't think they will last very long.

Happy Roommate

Come home this morning to a happy roommate cause he broke up with his girlfriend again. He got tired of being ignored. Then his car buddy shows up in the driveway. I thought they weren't friends anymore. No, he just pushed him away a bit. OK, whatever he says. Went to bed.

Woke up and decided I need to start exercing again. I know I put on weight since I stopped walking around Gray's Lake. I suck in my stomach and lose 3 inches. Did some light exercise in my pj's cause I din't want to overdo it to make my muscles ache. I need to tone my muscles. Wish me luck.

Interesting perspective

I once received a lecture from roommate how lucky I am so why am I so depressed. I have a house, a car, a job, and pets. It's lot more than he or his homeless junkie friends have. Ok, he is talking about material possessions that spent 20 years earning, plus the car my Mom bought and she gave me the down payment for my house. I am struggling to pay bills and groceries. He can't hold a job more than 4 months so I end up supporting him, his pets, and his homeless friends he invites over to help them (when actually he is not helping them when I pay the mortgage, the car gas, electric, water, and food they eat). Then I am forced to declare bankruptcy cause my retirement savings is almost gone and can't make the minimum payments on my credit cards to stay afloat plus have medical bills from my suicide attempt I can't pay. He can't figure out why I don't just smoke some weed or take CBD gummies and just be happy. My problems are not going away being high all day and guest what, the happy doesn't last so people need another hit to keep them going which is how addiction starts. He cannot outrun his emotions he avoids and his problem with finding then keeping a job doesn't go away either when the high goes away. I'm dealing with my problems instead of avoiding them. It's called adulthood. I am stressed out and unraveling at the seams, and it never ends. That's why I am depressed. Material possessions have little to with my happiness.

Donating Blood

Roommate in badly need of money to pay court fines and needs weed so he decides to donate plasma. He is feeling guilty drinking up my juice to leave none for me when I am paying for all the food and drinks we have. I have to drive him over cause he broke up with car buddy. He dwells in the idea of selling drugs for money, but he don't want to go to jail. I point out he can send me to jail too since I let him live here and he can ruin his future. Oh, he knows how to not get caught. Yes, that is why he is on probation. I left him at the blood donation center and went grocery shopping since he will be there 2 hours, plus need a new printer. Get a call and answer it thinking it was my roommate saying to come back. No, it's a bill collector. They thank me for answering the phone and tell me I owe $800. I explain I am driving a car and hang up on them. Finish my shopping and go home. I put away the groceries and leave to pick him up. He calls when I am a couple blocks away to pick him up. He is cold and hungry.

He got $100 on a debit card he has to set up first before using the money. No cash payments. His chest is hurting and babbles on how I live in the nice part of the hood where people don't get shot in their driveway. He is also faint since he hasn't eaten today. I haven't eaten either. We get home and he wants sex again. This time he mentions how he wishes I would ask for it. Ok, I am cooking a pizza for him to eat. I am taking down the Christmas village so he can eat at the dining room table again. Kitchen table is not enough space with cat food containers on it. I explain I don't ask for it because he has a girlfriend so he should be loyal to her and shouldn't be screwing around with me when he is emotionally stressed. Yeah, he defends his girlfriend won't talk to him or come over. He thinks she has cheated on him to justify this ignoring him. Yeah, she has a job but doens't work all the time. He finally got her new number after he sent a Christmas message to her brother to give her thinking her phone was lost. Her brother was unhappy to relay his message to her. I finally give in to the sex running out of excuses, but after pizza that will be done in 9 minutes. Well, slice up the pizza and he changes his mind not feeling well and very tired so have to take a raincheck. I lived 30 years without sex so don't expect me to beg for it from him. He said it would nice if I wore skirts and bend over to show my pussy. Yeah, that is not happening. I'm not a hooker nor stripper.

He also asked a week ago to get a pet snake. Snakes need heat lamps that raise my electric bill and dangerous to our pets if escapes. Plus they can get into drains and pipes in the house. Plus, they eat rodents so can't get another ferret and who is is taking care of this pet. Exotic vets are hard to find and I perfer not to go buy frozen rodents to feed this pet of his. He couldn't handle 2 kittens covered in fleas and needing deworming, how is he going to handle a snake. I and my sister bought them kitten food, milk, and smaller bowls for them and he gives them away to girlfriend to keep. I feed his cat my cats' food. I said he could have a lizard or turtle less likely to eat a ferret or fit into a drain since all my stoppers are broken. He asked about the heat lamp they would need too. Ok, no reptlies. I wonder if he is testing my limits on kindness and gets mad when he finds one. A couple weeks before the split with his friend, he said he was going to turn my shed into a forge and sell metal objects. He took my only shed key so I will be buying bolt cutters when he loses it.

He even complained about the food I keep buying, lots of carbohydrates and no protein. I have to buy cheap food, hamburger and chicken he wants is $8 per package and can't afford to spend that much. He needs to keep his miserable jobs to help me out. I worked plenty of jobs I hated and done them for years. Though a few I quit rather quickly, but had a job waiting for me so I still had money.

Christmas Surprise

Received a surprise package for roommate on the front stoop. A grocery sack of old junk. He knows it was from his car buddy he just split up with. He says he is a bad influence by being a lover of meth, liquor, and cigarettes. Roommate has to vape cause nobody is around to buy cigarettes. He drank up the liquor car buddy gave him so mostly sober nlow aching for weed but dealing with it by vaping THC. I swear this guy would smoke weed every day of his life and yet he says he is not an addict cause he doesn't need it, he wants it to be happy. Yeah, that is the defintion of addiction. Car buddy left nothing for me even though I let him live in my house for weeks and offered my Christmas treats if he came to my hotel. He never came. I texted Merry Christmas to him and replied wishing me a Merry Christmas too.

Had a interview set up for today. Printer wouldn't work so no paper resume to give interviewer. Hope they don't hold that against me. Followed Google Maps directions and there is a road closed in front of the music store I am interviewing at. I can't find another road to get to the music store that is not closed off. Have to go home in defeat. Get home to email my apology for not being able to attend the interview and there is already an email from the interviewer stating the position has been filled. I emailed back explaining I tried to get to the interview on time and couldn't get to the music store cause of the blocked road. Have to keep trying.

Merry Christmas

Worked the overnight shift and came home in the morning. Packed car for sister's house visit. Fed cats and gave them catnip. Opened presents from Santa and lit Advent wreath Christmas Day candle. Then slept a few hours. Woke up to have roommate open his and his cat's Santa gifts. Went over to sister's house and had mid-afternoon lunch. Others had a cookie and pie snack I brought. Next we opened gifts. I thought we were having a cookie exchange but I got presents, a set of hand soap, lotion, and body spray of a brand I didn't have enough money to buy on Black Friday. Not a complete set since I didn't get shower gel, but close enough. Then we played Whoville monopoly. Nephew won. Next we watched A Christmas Story on TV. When that ended we left so I could turn on my outdoor lights for the neighbors.

Unload the car and roommate wants sex. I was too tired and wanted to watch Meet Me in St Louis before I went to bed. We had sex just the other day and about 3 times last week. I am sorry his girlfriend won't visit, but my vagina needs a rest. Put in the movie and I fall asleep. I lit my Advent candles to burn them down cause they are getting low. I wake up to find a pine cone attached to the wreath on fire, which sets off the smoke alarm. Roommate rushed upstairs to ask what was going on. We got the fire out and a burn mark on my cabinet is permanent. Finish watching the movie and go to bed.

In bed, I recite my Christmas prayer that never gets answered.

Dear Heavenly Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I ask once again on Christmas Day to hear my prayer. I don't know what I did to deserve my miserable life. I am trying to understand why blessings from you feel more like curses. Is 13 years of struggling and poverty not enough. Must I continue my suffering for whatever reason. All I ever wanted was a career, a family, and a dog. All 3 have been denied to me. I have reached menopause and will never have a child. I am trying to understand why you you don't want me to have children to leave the world a better place. I know, adopt, but it isn't the same. Now I ask once more to just let me be happy. Let me get out of this overwhelming debt. Let me find a husband to share my life with. Help me afford to adopt a dog or ferrets or another cat. That is all I ask of you. Help me be happy again. Amen.

Happy Christmas Eve

Came home from work and drove roommate to visit his girlfriend working the drive through of a coffee shop. I donated my baked treats and a candy cane for her gift from my roommate. He wrote a poem for her. As I went to bed, roommate said he will start cleaning the house. I have not done much cleaning the past 3 years since I started working overnight shifts. Feels like working 6 days a week and exhausting. Plus nobody comes over anymore so there's no point to it. I wake up and roommate is sleeping on the couch with a song about getting wasted playing on repeat.

I watch The Nutcracker on YouTube as I read my emails. I discovered it is raining so can't turn on the lights outside. There's a button on the outlet that does prevents this. Baked more cookies for our gift exchange tomorrow and roommate wakes up. He asks for something from his room for his sore back. I discovered my closet doors have a bunch of knives and holes in them. Ask what he did to my doors. The sliders for doors broke so he used them for target practice. Once I get done baking cookies, I watch Jack Frost from 1979 on my phone in my room. Roommate is playing a game on the living room TV.

Go to work using an umbrella. Pro wrestling is here. Don't know any of their names but get excited about looking at tall, buff men.

Happy Festivus

Today I wrapped Santa gifts and put them out of cat reach. I don't put them under the tree cause cats lkke to chew on the paper.

Today's Adventures

Come home from work where I discovered we are selling liquor in the gift shop. And nobody said anything so had to call supervisors at midnight to ask how much to charge for the bottles. Roommate is constantly burping. Asked what he drank. A cup of Crown Royal he got from car buddy. Ah, he's drunk. He even fell down in the hallway. He managed get up by himself. Went to bed and wished him luck on his call with his probation officer today. He cussed so I knew he forgot about that.

Wake up to go shopping for catnip and treats for cats' Santa gifts. Got a tweeting bird with the nip and gravy treat bags. Joined 2 cat photo contests. I need money. Read emails and set up a job interview for Tuesday at a music store. Asked roommate how his text messages with probation officer went. He's not off to jail yet so went well. He asked the true meaning of Christmas. I replied it the celebration of the birth of Jesus. He said thank you.

While reading my emails, roommate informed me his unfriended his car buddy from social media. This guy likes every post and a top reader of his profile. I sense this guy wants to be close to my roommate, but roommate feels suffocated to push him away. Car buddy doesn't take it well. He messages my roommate's friends, including me, to give him messages since he is blocked. Now roommate wondered how to get no contact order cause now he feels harassed. I tell him I thought he was breaking his friend's heart (car buddy had a crush on my roommate and I think he just cured this guy's crush on him). He came over the other day to get the rest of things with a friend. Two months ago these guys were going to start a business and move into an apartment together. I think friendship is over now.

Cupcakes are Frosted

Made more frosting and got the cake decorating bag out to finish the cupcakes. Then sprinkled color sugar on top. No more baking. Roommate is meditating and gettign close with God while waiting for his girlfriend. SHe has yet to appear since she said she was coming over 3 days ago. Now watching Christmas movies.

Roommate never heard from the interview manager. He said he went to the interview high cause he needed a pick me up. And he wonders why people don't hire him. And yeah, sometimes he needs a pick me up and goes to work high. I told him maybe he should go on interveiws sober.

Treats from Security Guard

Security guard (or rather his professional baker girlfriend) gave me treats for Christmas. A peanut butter chocolate ball, a plain ginger snap, a decorated gingerbread girl, and almond bark pretzel.

Later, security guard reported water all over the laundry room from a leaking washer. We have electrical cords down there so had the displeasure of calling the general manager who lives at the hotel in the middle of the night. He went down there and said he hadn't seen anything like it. Had the security guard take the vaccum cleaners out of the puddle and said he would call engineering. Might need the washer machine repair guy to come. Or buy a new one. Yikes.

Frosted the cookies tonight. Then I realized I forgot about the cupcakes. Work on those tomorrow. Then no more baking this year.

Happy Pink Candle Sunday (aka Gaudete/Rejoice Sunday)

Thank you a**wipes who tossed shiny silver confetti in the pool to celebrate someone's birthday. I had the security guard with a net trying to grab it all out. He got what he could and stopped. Left a note for engineering cause that might clog the filters and might have to close the pool.

Gingerbread men and ladies are done. Tomorrow get to frost all the cookies and my pink moscato cupcakes. Then no more baking for a while. Unless I rebake something cause I ate too much. Have 2 Christmas dinners. One on Christmas Day with sister and brother, plus our Mom and Aunt. Exteneded family Christmas on New Year's Eve with sister and nieces in Nebraksa, aunts and uncles, and cousins.

Cat Manners

Sigh. Rushing to get ready for work and get can cat food out. Bilbo cat won't come out from under the covers. Visitor cat Lily starts eating and hear Bilbo rustling around. Last time I just let Lily eat saying "All is fair in love and war". Bilbo later refused to eat after Lily when he finally came out. So tonight I removed the covers and gave that cat turd dinner in bed so he would eat. When he was finished, I put it back on the floor for Lily and Misty to eat off of. Cat manners (dominant cats eat first).

Roomate who gave his ex girlfriend his kittens when they got worms and told her she could keep them to make her feel better about him having her cat Lily. Well, she told him she broke up with her new man and gave them to her ex boyfriend sho stole ex from Roommate. He was furious this guy who was his friend stole his girl now had his kittens. He says he wants his kttens back but doesn't know where he is.

No Prize for Me

Got the results of the 2nd round of the Baking contest I entered. I was 16th place and ony 15 move on with the contest. At least I tried. People call me crazy to find more money to pay of my debt. I'm desperate and on the edge of declaring bankruptcy. Yes, bankruptcy will destroy my financial well being, but then it was already destroyed since I lost my job in 2010 and been in a downward spiral ever since.

Christmas Baking

Got the sugar cookies made. Need to bake gingerbread cookies and then get everything frosted. Since roommate's frosting was very lumpy and thick from the old powdered sugar so better sift it next time. 10 more baking days until Christmas.

Happy Birthday to Roommate

Got home in the morning from work and roommate asked me to wake him to get ready for his interview at a car wash so I stayed awake writing on a new story instead of hopping into bed. He asked me to take him to his interview too, but I would get no sleep today if I did. He asked his car buddy to take him so I could sleep. After I woke up, I took him to my hotel so he could have free cheesecake (they give free food for birthdays and anniversaries) and I bought a pizza. He loves their cheesecake. He didn't say much to his former coworkers and disappeared to sit outside in the cold. I told them he went out to smoke and a little embarrassed they saw him with bloodshot eyez from being high. Next year he turns 21 and can sit at the bar. We went home and he called his family. I asked what his family thought of him living with me. He said they were surprised he was so lucky.

Well, he said after his family abandoned him in a hotel room, he slept under bridges and nearly froze to death. He went days without eating. The sun rising in the morning warmed him up after a cold night. He said joggers ran past him and a child with her mom pointed him out stating she thought that man looked cold and the mom told her to keep walking. He realized nobody is going to help him. He said he had sex with a homeless prostitute to keep warm one night. She didn't charge him cause he was cute. He worked at a fast food place until he got a security job at my hotel and moved into a hotel room with a coworker who was sleeping in his truck. Then he stole his coworker's girlfriend and forced to move in with career criminals next door until he lost his job and got kicked out. He stayed with friends until he was kicked out. He called me cause he had no place to go. I offered once my place to crash when I found out he was homeless living under a bridge until he moved in with his coworker. He was barely out of school and hardly any work experience to get a good job. Now he is living with me dreaming about getting his driver's permit to get a license so many jobs require and maybe go to college to be a mechanical engineer. He wanted to earn money to visit his family and was told not to come. Yeah, he's lucky people like him and care about him.

No Show, No Call

Girlfriend who was set to bring my roommate Mary Jane today never showed up. Big Surprise. Roommate was so excited to see her too. Since tomorrow is his birthday, I baked a cake for him. I took it to work and he dropped by, but people he knew weren't there. I got plates and silverware for the cake, but nobody wanted a piece. He was with his friends at a hotel all night. Birthday started at midnight. They gave him a bottle of wine and a Galileo thermometer. He said his friend did food delivery for hours to buy that wine. His other friend didn't have money to buy him a present so she gave him something she already owned and knew he liked it. He was so touched so many people care about him.

Ring around the Rosy Drama

Roommate's latest ex girlfriend came by with her sister and baby niece to pick up her stuff from my house. He asked for a few dollars sent to his online wallet to give her gas money. Of course I sent it. Apparently he now feels guilty for breaking up with her so they are back on again. She has been going through issues and someone had her phone to block roommate from talking to her. She was running away from her abusive ex and is done with him. Then he talks about red flags he sees and says he doesn't know what to do. I told him not to feel guilty because he didn't know what was going on when he broke up with her when she wasn't communicating. Tomorrow she returns with weed and roommate is so excited. Then he realized one of his air pistol pellets hit his glass bong and it's broken. I told him he can use one of the plastic bottles he has laying around my house. Then his stocking I bought arrived and he loves it. Next he left to go food delivering with his car buddy he threw out a few days ago. I guess they made up a little.

Interesting conversations

Ask the front desk person if they met the new sales coordinator they hired instead of me. Yes. I replied, Let me guess what they are like cause sales directors keep hiring the same person. She is blonde, age 20, no experience and/or no brain, and has a sparkling personality who will leave in 4 months when they can't handle the actual job. They said they were not blonde and had no hotel experience. They think She won't last 30 days.

A guest asked for cups for tea packets in the gift shop. We were out so offered to send some to their room. No, they will just get Gatorade cause their room doesn't have hot water. OK, guess they don't know how to heat water in the micowave or with the coffee pot (who says you have to put a coffee packet in the pot).

Went to make sugar cookies with my cookie dough in the fridge and I can't find my rolling pin. Looked all over the kitchen cupboards in case roommate put it away not knowing where things go. A cookie sheet is missing too, though I think roomamate might have ruined it and threw it away. Have to buy a new one before I can make cookies. Then gotta work on roommate's birthday cake. He turns 20 in 3 days. I ordered a Christmas stocking for him since he doesn't have one in my house. It has the Grinch with Max. I hope he likes it. He says he likes Grinch That Stole Christmas.

Cat fight and a wet bed

Watched Die Hard with roommate since we have the house back to just us again. I always have a heart attack looking at the gas price in the scen where the cop at the gas station looks at the building. Go to work and return home to have my roommate inform me of a major cat fight occurring around 4 AM. He showed me his scratches from the separatling the cats. Poor Bilbo was shut into my room and hiding under my covers. He came out for his treats and his tail was wet. Realized getting into bed that there is a wet spot. Bilbo peed in my bed and there was poop by the window. Sigh. Had to sleep trying to avoid the wet spot and then washed the sheets and blanket with vinegar.

Christmas Letter 2023

Merry Christmas to all my family and friends,

Spent New Year’s Eve with family having our extended family Christmas. Then went to work at my hotel job as the night auditor. I knew it was midnight when heard people screaming in the lobby. Soon I was training the new front desk manager in the night audit. She spent the night texting on her phone when I was trying to show her how to do the night reports. Then suddenly, she completely stopped showing up for work and they fired her after three days. No more training. Made Heart Wreaths for Valentine’s Day. I made gnomes from red, pink, and white yarn too. I got a new mold to make heart wax melts and added Strawberry Rose as a new scent in my collection. Got a new roommate when an old coworker (security guard at the hotel I work at) needed a place to crash. I picked him up at work to offer the guest room until he got back onto his feet again. He is a good cook and helps fix things.

Saw Niece #3 visiting the States from South Korea. She gives kids English lessons. Celebrated ferret Boromir’s 6th Birthday with cupcakes. Celebrated Valentine’s Day by making a heart cake for my coworkers. Celebrated ferret Luthien’s 7th Birthday with cupcakes. I made a leprechaun gnome for St. Patrick’s Day. Had to shut down my Etsy shop from lack of sales. My Square shop has a free subscription option to try to keep that going. Got accepted into a new farmer’s market this summer but had to decline it after going into credit counseling and could no longer afford it. I was hoping a different market would yield better results. I lost my ferret Boromir while at work when he fell down the stairs. He was wrestling with Bilbo and got knocked off to tumble down the stairs. I wrapped Boromir in a towel and went back to work. We think he died from internal injuries. At least my roommate was there when he died so he wasn’t alone. Poor ferret Luthien took to sleeping in Boromir’s spots. She missed him. Did a live reading of my Easter book and made a video to put up on YouTube. Didn’t make any Easter items after losing Boromir, started credit counseling, and searched for a new job. My creativity gave me no joy. I was planning to make spring wreaths and gnomes with supplies I bought. Soon I was asked to take in my roommate’s friend’s cat and dog for a while. Bilbo and Misty don’t like the new visitors. Poor dog was soon terrified of my cats when she was just being friendly.

Added the doggo to the Easter Bunny Trap story this year. My last one since my niece and nephew are grown up now. I had no carrots nor carrot cake to use as bait, so ferret Luthien used a banana. Cat Misty looked up on the internet if rabbits like bananas. They do. They set the trap and the Bunny rings the bell tied to a string when he grabs the banana. Doggo chased the Bunny out the door and the Bunny left the string on his foot on the fence. Luthien, Bilbo, and Misty were disappointed they didn’t get the chance to take more chocolate eggs out of his basket. All they got was their own basket from the Bunny he dropped as he ran out the door. For the summer I added the wax fragrance Ocean Breeze to the shop collection. Also created a Sugar Plum scent for Christmas.

After a year of searching, I landed a new job as an accounting clerk at another hotel. Arrived on my first day and I was introduced as Accounting Manager. That would explain the salary I was offered. Started walking around Gray’s Lake this summer. Attended nephew Lukas’s high school graduation. He is going to college to learn forensic science. Celebrated my brother’s birthday at his house. Visited Dad at the cemetery on Father’s Day. Had to work on Memorial Day so couldn’t visit cemeteries with my family. June 8th, I started my new job. Since I was on salary, I enjoyed the 4th of July with my family. We celebrated Mom’s birthday, and my roommate came along to meet my family. RAGBRAI came to Des Moines and met a few bikers in the service elevator. I could hear the music in Water Works Park from my house. I lost poor ferret Luthien. I came home from picking my roommate up from his job and found Luthien curled up as if she was sleeping. I petted her and realized she was cold and stiff. My roommate and I were up past midnight burying her in the backyard. A few days later I went to the local amusement park to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday. Missed my nephew’s birthday party cause I was working. Dropped by later to give him his card and he was working. Ran into Presidential Candidate Nikki Haley while I ran through the lobby to pay a kitchen delivery guy. I asked to shake her hand. I had to be professional. My hotel hosted all the candidates here for the Iowa State Fair. Didn’t run into any others. Deleted my ferret social media pages where I sold my merchandise online and started new pages promoting just the merchandise.

My roommate went on a camping trip with his work buddy, and I got to take care of the dog. Started taking her for walks around the neighborhood and Gray’s Lake. She even started to bark that she hadn’t done since she arrived. Usually, she just whined and whimpered. I don’t know if it’s the neighbor dogs barking, or if she felt safe in my house that she found her bark again. Then started applying for jobs cause the new general manager at my hotel was driving me crazy. He gave a honey-do-list every day as if I was his secretary instead of an accounting manager. This man had a great deal of trouble understanding my job description. He asked me to do things I couldn’t do because I didn’t have access or training in those tasks he wanted done. Taking the dog out to Gray’s Lake became a great de-stressor for me. Celebrated my 48th birthday, which was also Labor Day and I didn’t have to work, with family and then my roommate. Family lunch was at Pizza Ranch and then cake at my brother's house while roommate took me for birthday dinner at my old hotel restaurant.

Soon after I came to work to find I had been replaced by the Director of Finance that I had replaced 4 months before. I am demoted to part time which means I lose my insurance. I asked my old hotel for a job to leave a general manager who told me to my face on 2 different days to quit and go on unemployment because I was inadequately trained, and this wasn’t working out. The sales director mentioned looking for help and I emailed him to apply to receive no answer. I spent a year applying and interviewing to get this job and I didn’t want to quit after 4 months, but the general manager wants me to disappear. Managed to get my old hotel night auditor job back for less pay than I was making before I quit. Nice way to welcome me back. Met the new managers and directors from the manager exodus during the summer. The visitor dog left to return to her family. Hopefully they take good care of her since she is such a sweet dog. I petted her good-bye and grabbed her things. I let her have one of the ferret toys of an Easter Rabbit that she loves to squeak. Visited with a bankruptcy attorney and received a packet to fill out. Now must stop paying on credit cards complete all the steps to declaring bankruptcy. New general manager at the hotel let us dress up for Halloween that was a work appropriate attire. I wore a suit and tall striped hat with make up to be the female version of Cat in the Hat. Celebrated Bilbo and Misty’s 5th Birthday with catnip and cake. Celebrated Niece #4’s 20th Birthday at sister’s house with cake and ice cream. Got Thanksgiving and Black Friday off so spent it with my family. Took Niece #4 out shopping on Black Friday. It’s amazing how stores open 5-6 AM instead of competing to be 1st store open pre-Covid. Spent 3 days putting up my Christmas decorations and then helped Mom put her decorations up. Soon started baking English toffee, fudge, cupcakes, and cookies.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

Jordan

Bilbo and Misty

Strike another friend from the house

Doing my laundry and roommate's car buddy came home. Roommate commented car buddy was drunk. Roommate next is upset he just got a call from his friend that car buddy showed up at their house while they were having their visitation with their kid and were embarrassed. This starts a 3-hour long fight all over the house and somehow my name gets getting brought up. Roommate goes on how much his friend drinks, the bad friends he has brought to my house, he's been on drugs since age 13, been in this state while his family is in another state for 3 years, and now after living with me who has done so much for him, he dreams of going to college. He wants to give up the drugs cause it brought him nothing but trouble and dysfunctional addict friends. You have no idea how proud of him I am at this moment. He tries to help his friends but finds out they are just using him (which is why he broke up with his last girlfriend when she ignored him for weeks and then asked him for money). Roommate kicks out car buddy. Car buddy asks me to stay here since I own the house and promised to pay rent. I reply that he can stay the night cause I am not tossing out someone at 8:00 at night to sleep on the sidewalk (or his car). But beyond that it is my roommate's decision since he is the one who begged me to let him move in. Car buddy starts packing up his stuff into his car sniffling as if he was crying. I asked if he will be okay and he replied he didn't know. He tells me to inform my roommate he can find a new ride. I relay the message and roommate enters the room upset with his car buddy again. I having been driving him around before car buddy arrived and can do it again. He still wants to be friends and hang out playing video games, he just needs space from him for a while. Car buddy leaves. Then roommate wants sex. I'm doing laundry and have to get ready for work in an hour, plus he just kicked out his friend. I'm not having sex with him right now. Perhaps after I get home in the morning.

Good deed of the day

Went over to Mom's apartment to put up her decorations for her. Arrive and Mom doesn't want me to put up anything. She wants me to take everything home. She bought a small topiary tree already decorated and doesn't need anything else out cause she doesn't have room for it. I see plenty of room for her decorations. It is time for her assisted living supper. I tell her to go eat her supper. Sometimes you just have to tell people to stop arguing with you and just say thank you. I put out the decorations and she returns happy. Yeah, she did have plenty of room. Turns out she didn't have the energy and flexibility to sit her Nativity scene and Christmas Village on the floor. That's why I was there and it's our tradition for me to put put out her decorations for her. Though I bumped her plant searching for a electrical socket to plug in the extension cord. I put the plant back and picked up as much dirt I could find, but I am sure it's going to die. Nurses came by with her laundry then her pills. The 2nd one got a broom to sweep up the dirt. Helped Mom put away her laundry and then said my good-byes.

Having a Good Heart

In all my misery and heartaches compiled with disappointment, I still find myself donating the last dollar in my purse to the Salvation Army red kettle and preparing treat boxes for the vet, chiropractor, mechanic, and mail carrier. I don't have to, but my kindness is something not even bad luck can take away from me. And this is also probably why I don't have friends, people feel guilty I give when they don't. Then with others, when I do stop giving when going broke, they throw a hissy fit how they won't give me anything if I stop giving them stuff. I can't win.

1st Advent Sunday

Watched my childhood church's service on the computer (in another town too far drive) and lit my first Advent wreath candle. Today I start my baking. Fudge and English Toffee tonight on the stovetop. Pink Moscato Cupcakes and drop peanut butter cookies with Hershey Kiss on top next. Then roll out gingerbread people and sugar cookies last. And nobody will give me a chance as an event planner or hotel Christmas decorator. Oh well, keep applying for jobs.

Then roommate mentioned he didn't work at the fast food place anymore. He spilled oil on the floor and manager made him stay until 3 AM cleaning it up. So he quit. Sigh, 3 jobs in 1 year does not look good to prospective employers. At least he does food delivery with his friend who practically moved in too.

Baking Ingredients Sale

Earlier this week I went grocery shopping and got depressed looking at all the baking ingredients knowing I have to save money and can't go beserk with Christmas baking this year. Well Hy-Vee has a baking sale this weekend so I shopped for ingredients (and only got what I needed). So will be baking my Pink Moscato cupcakes my coworkers love and family don't eat. Plus gingerbread people, sugar, and peanut butter with Hershey Kiss cookies. Then English Toffee and fudge. No almond bark pretzels this year, I had to cut something.

Disappointment is par for my life

Checked the status of my application for sales coordinator at my hotel. I was not selected. Huge surprise. Old sales director rejected me last year so why should the new director be different. Just keep applying at other places cause this hotel management team will never let me leave night audit hell. I also found out I was rejected in setting up the Christmas decorations around the hotel. My supervisor will be doing it. Another kick in the teeth is just another day in the adventures of being me.

Advent Calendar

Happy December 1. We all can start working on the Advent Calendar now. My niece got me a Buy 1 Get 1 Free chocolate Advent calendar on Black Friday. She kept one and gave the other to me. Such a sweet girl. She once wanted all my family to exchange gifts on Christmas. This Sunday I will light my first Advent candle.

There is a reason we don't exchange gifts. I have a cheap brother who doesn't want to buy anything for anybody and only does it out of obligation. Then one (I have 2) sister who wanted extragent gifts nobody in family can afford. One year she demanded we all buy her a $400 mixer she wanted, so $100 from each sibling (3) and our parents (1). Then she got mad we refused to do that. For my part, I didn't have $100 to give her and gave her a $20 gift card to the store she wanted the buy the mixer from. Later she asked us not to buy her anything cause she hated our cheap gifts and then got mad she she received no presents to unwrap on Christmas Day (she unwrapped the cat's present). Then more arguments when she gave us a list of things to buy her children and threw a hissy fit if we decided to buy something else. My argument was "It's my money and I will decide how I spend it on gifts". Then the climax of this fighting. I lost my job and announced no presents that year (I made the same announcement this year in light of my pending bankruptcy filing). Family threw a conniption fit cause what will they say to their children (Your children hate my cheap gifts not on their wish list so I doubt they will feel unloved from it). Brother was happy not to buy presents for any of us even though he makes the most money and not dependent on our mother for rent money, gas, and food. I affirmed that I announced that "I" am broke and our mother should not be responsible for buying gifts for me to hand out to others. They can do whatever they want. My sister put my name on a couple gifts she bought so my niece and nephew didn't know about my announcement until years later when it got brought in a conversation. Thereafter, we just bought gifts for the nieces and nephew plus our parents, then added great-nieces, but not exchange gifts between us siblings.

Trim the tree

A family member who opened their own gift shop over a year ago decided to close the shop. They weren't getting enough sales to go on. Instead of making profits from Black Fridy and Holiday Shopping, they are having a store closing sale. Very sad when they donated clothes after a tornado hit the county next door last year. Such nice people and doing videos modeling clothes and new items. Their kids got into the videos. But all their efforts didn't yield enough results. They didn't mention what they will do now. Please remember small mom and pop shops need customers as much as corporate owned big stores. You may be the difference between presents under their family Christmas tree and none.

I got out all the Christmas decorations and roommate said it was a lot. I'm 48 and been building my collection over the years. My sister says I overcompensate for having my decorations stolen when first moved out on my own. The storage unit got broken into and my box of Christmas decorations was stolen. Made a police report, but how do I value homemade and garage sale bought items. They left behind my mini tree and Halloween decorations. Under the Halloween stuff I later found a shoe box of ornaments and made me relieved not all my dead grandma's crafted ornaments weren't stolen. I told my roommate with all the lighted decor that I can walk aroudn the house without turining on a single house light. Merry Christmas!

Joined a baking contest with photos of my cakes. Friends have to vote for the winner. Yeah, that means I won't win. I have 200 social media friends and when I enter these types of contests I get about 5 votes. I doubt I win this one either. With friends and family like mine, who needs enemies.

Happy Black Friday

Met my niece for Black Friday shopping at the mall. I had no intention of buying anything since I am broke and not buying presents for anyone this year. My sister and I agreed to a cookie exchange instead of gifts. Who knows how many relatives will want to join us. One store they had Buy 3 and Get 3 Free so we combined our cash together to find we didnt have enough. They didn't have smaller versions of the soaps, lotions, and body sprays so we had to leave them behind in the store. I did get a pair of pj bottoms with Hello Kitty. That store had a Buy 1 and Get 2nd Half Off so my niece's shirt was half off. She used her memeber discount points to get another dollar off. We had a good time.

Three Wishes

If I had 3 wishes for Christmas, I would wish for:

A husband. I finally hit menopause so will never have a family I always wanted.

A better paying job sitting at a desk. I hate my night auditor job and tried 3 years to leave it. I did for 4 months and back to a job I hate again, only for less money and loose my insurance. Finally got my insurance back yesterday. I hope the sales director makes a decision soon. I need to to declare bankruptcy soon. My credit already has taken a nosedive.

A ferret or dog. I miss my ferrets even though they pooped all over the house. I wanted a dog since childhood and roommate dog was okay, but made me itch. Plus cats kept attacking it when cuddled with me. I would get a smaller breed.

Happy Thanksgiving

Had Thanksgiving dinner at sister's house. Picked up Mom at new place and got lost finding my way back to the car. Then got lost in residential street maze trying to find the main road. Arrived at sister's house and my French Silk Pie was mush, even fridge didn't stiffen it. Oh well. Announced to family I can't buy presents from declaring bankruptcy so we agreed to have a cookie exchange. Sister will do sugar cookies and I will do peanut butter cookies with Hershey kiss. Sister-in-law who always wants to host Thanksgiving is in the hospital so brother and her didn't attend. Niece and I plan to Black Friday shop after lunch when less busy. I was amazed stores are opening at 5 or 6 AM instead of midnight or 9 PM on Thanksgiving evening. Pre-Covid stores competed to be 1st store open. I did 12AM to 8AM as a cashier for a retail store one year. I still have Christmas phobia when people get out decorations before Thanksgiving. Well, Happy Thanksgiving.

Busy Saturday night

Some people I don't get. Saturday night is always busy and the corporate front desk helper left me alone with the new gal who will shadow me a few hours. She has no training on our computer and still going through her video training yet. Excuse me, me working a busy night alone and losing my mine is not a good time shadow me. I sent her to work on her video training. She is useless on the front desk computer unless her training is finished. I told the guy arriving after me to clock in cause I needed him. Eventually it slowed down when people went to bed. Then lost internet connection for an hour and major assclown telling me to try harder to check in his family. I can't do anything when the front desk system is down, we don't do paper back up like I did at the Holiday Inn. What part of my computer is down was confusing for him. He even told me all hotels have an emergency room on hold for such an occasion. I never heard of that. We do have emergency keys, but don't know what is vacant without the computer. I even offered another hotel room that we would pay for. First they accepted it, then after I call the hotel and arrange the rooms, he refused to leave the lobby. So computer came back up I had to call the hotel to tell them weren't coming. Earlier I sent someone over cause hotel overbooked us on certain type of room so I knew they had rooms.

Want ads surprise

Oh my, looking through want ads and my old hotel was looking for a sales coordinator to act as secretary to sales and the general manager making revenue. Wait, that was my job as accounting manager. Awh, do they miss their glorified secretary who made more money than the sales coordinator will. I'm tempted to apply just to make them jump viewing my name.

Happy Birthday Niece

Niece #4 celebrated her 20th birthday with cake and ice cream. She made it from scratch. A little dense and dry but it was cake. I gave her $5 cause that was all that was in my wallet. I'm broke. I told her she is no longer a teenager anymore. That seemed to hit her like a surprise.

Happy 5th Birthday Bilbo and Misty

Got a cake for the kitties and took their photos. I ate the chocolate cake and they got catnip. I bought Fancy Feast puree treats and they refused to eat them. Bummer.

Heaven help me, Christmas is here

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Oh, heaven help me my hotel started getting the decorations out. Anxiety Attack has begun. Those are not the Leonid falling stars in the night sky, but anxiety exploding everywhere.

Head advisor

Oh my, have you every met someone so terrified to stand up for themselves. I mean totally full of anxiety and always worried they upset a manager. They currently are going through a lot with their family (her grandma died and her house where family lives is in foreclosure). I give plenty hugs reassuring they are a good person and they don't deserve to be treated badly by managers. I even tried to get them a job at the front desk, but they got shot down cause they are needed to drive the shuttle (and the supervisors can't stand her no matter how hard she tries to please them). Sigh. I told maybe she needs to get a job at another hotel like I did cause nobody is going to promote you if they can't find your replacement. I applied for sale coordinator last year and shot down immediately cause I am needed to do the night audit (nobody wants to work that job). So I applied for jobs elsewhere and found an accounting manager job. Granted I was there only 4 months before returning from not getting along with the general manager (I got along well with everyone else). Now that they have a new night auditor maybe I can get into the sales department this time. X fingers. I hope my friend can do the same. She applied for banquets and housekeeping to be shot down. They need her driving the shuttle. Sigh.

Anxiety has been triggered

OMG, neighbors are putting up their Christmas lights.

I know the drill, breathe and remember I don't work retail anymore.

My sympathy to all those who are working retail and hate Christmas.

Interview with Sales Director

Had my interview with the sales director. It went well like a conversation. Xing fingers and praying hard. Seems like a really nice person with high energy. She came as task force and said she was staying. She said she worked here 10 years ago. Ah, well then you know the front desk supervisors. She did. I was the first interview and have others a chance to apply so hope for the best.

Thank you for training me

I hate it when people insistly shove food in my face. I am a very picky eater and what most people love I can't stand. I can only cope by pretending I like their food so they will stop trying so hard to please me. It's exhausting.

Finishing the training of the new night auditor. He is so insecure after 2 months of training with our supervisors. Not very tech savvy and had to explain how to download a form to their desktop and add a website to their favorites. He bought a pizza I didn't like so a different day he bought another. I also didn't care for it and took it home for roommate to eat, but I said I liked it so he will stop buying me pizza. He just wanted to thank for my training that is more patient than our supervisors. Just doing my job.

He kinda gets on my nerves. How do say politely say "Quit yapping with guests and security and get the night audit done"? I swear this new auditor never shuts up. I even told them they need to be more assertive and stop ringing up gift shop purchases of guests and start the night audit. Say they are running the audit so we can only accept cash payments or room charges. Write down on paper the cash purchases and write down the room charges to enter them later. No credit card authorizations and no checking in people until night audit is ran. Believe me, Fridays and Saturdays are very busy when people leave the bars and want snacks when return to the hotel. You can't wait until they stop coming cause that can be a long wait. Once the drunks are in bed, the early risers with 6 AM flights start leaving at 4 AM. If the audit isn't done, the records will show they checked out yesterday giving them a free night cause they haven't been charged for the current evening unless you physically add the night's charge when you check them out. Then the breakfast help arrive 4-5 AM and need to know how many guests to cook for. They can't wait all night to get the audit done.

Today was my sister-in-law's birthday and I had to work so couldn't come by for cake and ice cream.

Clouds lift

Saw a sales position at my hotel so applied. It 's more of a secretary to the Sales Department sales managers. New Director of Sales replied wanting to interview me. I haven't met them them yet and only heard the old sales director left along with the Catering Manager. Trying to set up a time to meet. Wish me luck.

Saw my first Christmas commercial on TV today. Oh my goodness, my anxiety is triggered and I haven't worked retail for 10 years. If you worked in retail for 8 years listening to Christmas music from September to December 25, sleep during Thanksgiving with your family to work Black Friday all night, and handle customers screaming in your face how their Christmas MUST BE PERFECT!!! when you don't have what they want, you would have Christmas Phobia too. My phobia subsides after Thanksgiving and I enjoy it more.

Happy Halloween

Had Beggars Night (Oct 30 in my city) and 16 kids came to collect candy. 2nd hour, 2 cars full of kids came by. Roommate was ready to eat all the candy. Roommate cooking chicken on a pan full of oil started a grease fire and put it out with one of my dish towels, which got burned. Smoke alarms went off again. At least no kids came up to the door. Work said we can wear work friendly costumes so went to work dressed as Cat in the Hat (female version).

Halloween night finally came and did the Bloody Mary in my bathroom. Didn't see a damn thing other than shadows on my face to resemble a black skull. Disappointed. I guess spirits are telling me I'm never getting married. Bummer. Roommate's girlfriend came by. I work tonight so they will have the whole house to themselves. Roommate has been complaining how he lives without sex for weeks. I lived 30 years without sex so he don't get much sympathy from me. He yelled at me to snap out of my depression cause he is trying so hard to run this house while I am in a depressed stupor. He needs help cleaning the house, doing dishes, and doing laundry, and when was I planning on doing the yard work? It's hard doing everything himself and take care of me. Yeah, now he knows what it is like to take care of him when he was unemployed and playing video games all day, plus inviting his homeless jumkie friends and girlfiend over to eat my food and drive up my water bill. Yeah, it is hard to do everything by yourself. That's why my house is so dirty and dishes/laundry piling up. My house has not been cleaned much in 3 years since I started working overnight shifts. It feels like I get 1 full day off a week and it is exhausting. And I tried to get a day job to get more free time to get things done and lost it after 4 months. Now I'm back working a job I absolutely hate and can't leave cause nobody else wants to do it (including me). Last night I wore a witch hat as I worked. Tonight back to normal clothes.

Happy Halloween

Morning Excitment

Today's adventure was roommate and I cooking pancakes, eggs, and bacon. With all the smoke in the kitchen, we set off the smoke alarm when my food was almost done. Last pieces on the stove got overcooked while opening windows and doors. Then we discover one door knob is broken so he replaces it. Put it in upside down after first putting it in backwards. But I don't complain. New girlfriend is supposed to come visit and it's been 2 days of waiting. He is ready to ditch her again. Next he can't find the clippers. I keep them in the medicine cabinet so if he left them lying around his room, I don't know where they are. My tools in my tool box appear to be missing. They are somewhere in this house. Picking up things, I found 2 wrenches in the living room. Next he throws a fit over how dirty this house is. Yeah, I'm not the one leaving cotton swabs all over the living room and bathroom floor, nor leaving garbage all over the house, and nor not putting things back so they can find them again. He thinks I need a new shower curtain, new TV, and get rid of my autumn decorations. He even said I need to move into a new house that has a better foundation. Then said I need a storage unit. My basement is my storage unit and it has plenty of room in it.

More rejection

The last 2 attorneys I have contacted about suing my former employer rejected my case. I amd started to think I don't have a case to sue over since I was not discriminated agaisnt because of my race, religion, or gender. A**hole employers can do whatever they want even if they are unfair and expect more than you were trained for. Unrealistic expectations is not illegal. Now I work a job I hate and wears me out to the point my roommate is shouting at me to snap out of my depression cause it is hurting him tryying to take care of everything. Yeah, now he knows what it was like to be me taking care of him playing videos games all day while he was unemployed. That's Why I'm Exhausted All The Time!!

Roommate created his own chicken coating recipe and I enjoyed it. I told him it was better thatn the hotel restaurant chicken tenders. Now he wants to open a food trailer and sell chicken to people. Um, might want to check the laws on selling food first. Like he might need a health inspection, food service certificates, food temperatures and expirations, and insurance in the event he gets sued for food poisoning. People like my decorated cakes but I am not trying to open a bakery. I have my limits.

Coworker issues

Tell a housekeeper a guest needs towels. They answer back that they are leaving in 5 minutes. I don't care if they are leaving in 5 minutes, they aren't off the clock yet so they need to get their butt upstairs. They delivered the towels.

New night auditor thanked me for my babysitting service. I am so helpful and patient with him. My 2 supervisors who have been training them the past 2 months weren't effective? 1 speeds through things and the other lacks patience. I have 4 nieces, 1 nephew, and have/had 4 cats and 6 ferrets so I have a ton of patience.

I don't think the new night auditor is very tech savvy. The front desk manager emailed them forms they needed and I told them to save the forms onto their desktop. I don't think they understood how to do that so tried to show them. I also tell him to save websites (like our email or site where we upload audit reports) to their favorites tab instead of typing in the website every time. I had to show them how to do that. There, now they can just click the favorite tab to get into website. Next I showed how to print a form as a non-editable PDF form instead of leaving it as an editable form so it uploads faster in coworkers' email. Editable PDF version uploads slower.

New night auditor seemed to think we were not allowed to call 911. Excuse me? Ok, the security guards are not allowed to call 911 or non-emergency police, because the front desk is supposed to do that. If someone is hurt or having medical emergency (like a heart attack), you can count on me calling 911 for help. And I don't care if they are on hotel grounds that is our responsibility or across the street that is not. I have called police to kick parties out and a crazy person came in attacking a guard who told them to leave cause they weren't a guest (they refused to leave). One crazy person threatened to shoot up the hotel when told to leave the entrance and came into the lobby shouting at guests buying items from the gift shop. I have called 911 over someone getting stabbed (they survived), someone having a diabetic low blood sugar episode (they recovered), and someone who had injured their hip and couldn't get up out of their bed (they checked out 2 days later).

Work Halloween Party Planned

Interesting. Work is having a Halloween party in the middle of the day. Why don't they do it once most people are off work and enjoy it more? 3 hours of fun for people with 15 minute and 30 minute breaks. I work the night before and night of, plus it's Beggar's Night. I don't know if I can find the energy to wake up, dress up, spend an hour or so at the party, come home and get ready to pass out candy, and then go back to work. At least we can wear costumes while working, years before we couldn't.

Paycheck received

Got my paycheck so went grocery shopping. I spent below budget comparing 2 store sales. I try to swipe breakfast at work to bring home so on my days off we have food. My cupboard is getting bare even with roommate's contribution earlier this month. At leasst we work at places that provide free lunch.

Visit from sister

Sister came over to discuss my dire financial situation. She tried to get me into debt relief programs instead of filing for bankruptcy. I can't afford the monthly payments to pay my debts off in 4-5 years. Plus any debt written off I will have to pay income tax on. I asked my sister if I could borrow money from Mom to pay off everything and she said no (my sister is power of attorney of our mother). We need Mom's money to pay for her declining health accomodations in assisted living facility. Within a year, she might need a nursing home. I have to finish my bankruptcy paperwork to turn into the lawyer.

Trying to find an employment lawyer to sue my former employer. They either don't answer my message, have too many cases already, and one declined saying they were no interested in helping me. I'm ready to give up on it. I've messaged so many lawyers I can't remember who I messaged. Maybe I don't have a case worth pursuing.

I got a letter from unemployment stating I am not eligible for benefits because they were charging my previous employer who rehired me not the employer I was forced to quit from. Because I voluntarily left in June and my employer protested (especially since they rehired me in September) paying benefits. Apparently I wasn't at the other place long enough to received unemployment benefits since they did no investigating on my unemployment claim on them. Weirdos.

Some days I hate my job

Sometimes I hate 3rd party reservation makers. People come in without a reservation demanding some online rate they saw. 3rd party reservation makers pay a fee to set their own rates. People fail to understand they are booking through a 3rd party and not through the hotel. I am under no obligation to match 3rd party rates. If people want an online rate then they need to book the online rate cause I am not a Let's Make a Deal host. Take my walk in rate or make a reservation. And my walk in rate doesn't get a discount. I get no commission off walk in guests (nor for making new reservations) so I don't care who people book their reservation through.

Next, guest needs to recharge their phone. I point out the portable batteries we have in the gift shop, for $40. That was too much money and he just wants recharge his phone. Ok, I will use my recharger. He gets his phone and cord. He says he needs to call his girlfriend. Oh, didn't realize he had a cord so just use my USB recharger wall plug. Get working on audit duties and go check the phone that is recharging. It is gone along with my USB wall plug, which means I can't recharge my phone now. That was a mighty fast recharge at less than 5 minutes. I see him walk by and ask for USB wall plug back cause that was mine. He took it from his pocket and handed it back. Relief. Next time when someone has a cord, I will point out they recharge their phone using the TV in their room.

Had an iteresting call. Someone calls at 4 AM wanting to the discuss the location of 19 boxes that were delivered 4 days ago. Not at the front desk. Where are they? Don't know and not searching the entire hotel for them. They want to speak someone else. Tonight, I'm it. They can speak to someone else at 7 AM, perhaps the day shift knows where they are since I don't handle deliveries working overnight shifts.

Then I get a Federal employee complaining our hotel sucks. He demands a survey. I don't have guest surveys at the front desk, he should receive a survey in his email. Now he wants the name of the general manager to lodge their complaint. Hand them the business card to general manager. They shout how they showed their tax-exempt form when they checked in so why are we charging taxes on his bill. Make the room tax exempt and print another receipt. He begs me to ask why he hated his room. Ok, what was wrong? He was put in a 2 bed handicap room he didn't need and reserved a single bed regular room, the shower was broken, and the heater was broken. Next he gets mad I'm writing down all his problems to report to the engineers to fix. Hand them the new receipt. Now I'm told I'm stupid and don't know how to do my job right cause I didn't look at the receipt before I printed it. The parking fee is still being taxed. I can't just take sales tax off everything, just the room charges. Why is our system set up that? Why can't I just remove the sales tax? I offer to remove the parking fee and he screams he doesn't want free parking, he wants the sales tax removed. He finally gives up and demands the receipt I printed. Accountant arrives and gets upset with me cause I screwed everything up marking the room tax exempt. I should just tell guests the accountant will make the determination what charges are tax exempt. Our state has lots of rules for tax exempt status. I apologized explaining I had a guest screaming at me to take the taxes off calling me stupid and saying I didn't know how to do my job.

Then come home and get ready for bed. Roommate had a hard on and needed attention to recover from it with his buddy sleeping in the living room so we have to be quiet about it. After the stressful night I had, I couldn't say no. As usual afterwards he sends a text message how we can't keep doing that cause he has a girlfriend now. Yeah, ok, stop asking for it. It's not like I'm going to tell on him to his girlfriend so eager to marry him. That would be an awkward conversation. Hi there, welcome to my home and by the way I'm screwing your boyfriend. I asked the other day how he felt about getting married since it's take two to tango. He doesn't want to marry until he can financial support a family, which won't be in the near future with me supporting him.

Sunday night party

Arrived at work to be told there was a party going on and they received their warning of the noise complaint. Actually it was a peaceful night without further complaints.

Not that I have a yearning to call the police and kick people out. Then I get people complaining I ruined their birthday party, they demand the room for free, or casually ask for another key cause they are locked out (to which I reply that I just called the cops to kick them out so I am not making them another key for them to get back into the room). One party I had to call to end becasue my security guard suspected someone had a gun by the way they held their arm under their coat. The cops around the lobby making sure people leave suddenly ran outside cause someone was getting their butt kicked. I saw an ambulance pull up and my supervisor walking home asked what happened. Someone got shot across the street from the hotel. I told the hotel they should reward the guard for that. What if he said nothing and the shooting was inside the hotel. Who knows how many could have gotten hurt when the gunman made their escape? They never did. That security guard is now my roommate. He is very protective of me and makes me feel safe. During another party a party guest got stabbed and bathroom plus a bed had blood everywhere. Then the security guard looked all over the stairs for the victim trying to escape their attacker. They were found and taken to the hospital. The security guard had to break up at least two fist fights near the entrance before the stabbing occurred. They quit soon after from the trauma.

Got gas this morning from my roommate giving me his tip money. Got 3.5 gallons so hopefully will last until I get my paycheck on Friday. Sigh.