The Adventures of Being Me

I went to work thinking I would be the only of all the car rentals in a costume as usual. But then someone at the car rental next door came wearing scrubs. She borrowed the surgeon uniform from a friend. I didn't know the footies they put over their shoes have pads to keep from slipping on a bloody floor. Some customer asked if she was a real nurse working a 2nd job. My coworker explained she was dressed for Halloween. Later, her grandson came by in his costume after Trick or treating. I turned quite a few heads and caused a lot of smiles walking to the cafeteria and back in my costume. Only one person asked what I was. Cat in the Hat, a female version. To one customer I said: Despite my appearance I don't scratch. Though my nose piece gave me the itchies so I let it hang from my neck, which made my neck itch. I had a good Halloween. Yesterday, a gal next door asked my if I wanted to see her tricks or her treats. I replied: Knowing you madam I rather see your treats. Also, anot...

I read in the paper today of Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall will visit America soon. They will stop at New York, Washington DC, and San Francisco. Of course one can not expect royalty to visit the boondocks where celebrities rarely visit unless they were born in the Midwest. Though Princess Diana did visit Chicago for a charity dinner, but after she lost her royal title (Her Royal Highness) in her divorce. Sarah, Duchess of York came to Des Moines a couple years ago to speak to a group of Weight Watchers and then did a radio interview before leaving. But she also is no longer official royalty too. But 2 princesses of Holland have visited Pella, IA during 2 Tulip Festivals in the 1970's. And there was the Queen of Sweden visited Decorah, IA in the late 1990's to attend a conference. Before she came over I didn't know there was a Queen of Sweden. My museum boasts the Pope's visit in the 1970's because a farmer wrote the Pope asking to come when it was anno...

Fall back, spring forward is the saying to remember which direction to change our clocks. Daylight Savings Time ends today, meaning we move our clocks an hour back at midnight so we get an extra hour of daylight during the bleak winter. I asked my coworker if I could change my watch before midnight and leave work an hour early. She smiled. Though some places in America do not follow Daylight Savings Time. For the places that do follow it, we love it in the fall gaining an hour, but hate it in the spring when we lose an hour. Post later. Bye!

It is that time of year when we get invasion of bugs (mostly box elder bugs) into homes trying to find a warm place to hibernate. My Mom had a wasp or dragon fly in her house when I went to visit. I have seen many bugs lingering around the apartment windows and doors. I tossed out a few box elder bugs out of my balcony door that loved my jack o'latern. One year we had such thick box elder bugs cuddled up against the house that I thought it was mud. I grabbed a water hose and a baseball bat to scrape off the mud to discover the mud was alive. I drowned and bashed a lot of bugs that day. I think I was about 12 at the time. Post later. Bye!

If one works in customer service, eventually one will make someone angry. A customer gave this suggestion to my coworker who just dealt with an angry customer who just left the counter. She said: Be glad you are not their spouse, their kid, or their dog. Good advice. Post later. Bye!

I received a note on my paycheck today. It said next year the company will match contributions to our 401K plans, in addition to the profit sharing money the company puts in once a year. That is exciting, that means the company is making money and we might get raises. Though I hope the match limit is not very high, I do not make that much. Sure free money is nice, but my paycheck has to cough up the other half of that contribution. Of course, I can always cancel the cable, charity alms, cell phone, and internet if I need money to contribute to my 401K. And put off health insurance one more year. My struggling barely above the poverty line (depending where one draws the line) reminds me of something my Dad told my Mom when she complained of lacking a wealthy lifestyle her friends had. He said: You were born poor, you married poor, and you will die poor, so get used to it. And many of those people living in fancy houses are up to their ears in debt. Then again, my Mom is the type who can...

I have written to the editorial staff of the Oprah Magazine to be considered a stalker, so I shall make my opinion known here. Much of the magazine this month was focused on hope. One good article was how little things like tapping our finger, interrupting a speaker, or checking our watches can affect other people's confidence in themselves. Most of us don't have the guts to say, "Excuse me, may I have your full attention please?". Another good read was the What I know for sure page, as it usually is. Oprah spoke on the New Orleans travesty of hurricanes wiping out the city and speaking to survivors living in hell. I recall once reading in another magazine how a mother of a New Orleans victim heard someone in her office say the hurricane was punishing evildoers. How could this person say this woman's daughter, son-in-law, and child lost everything because they were evildoers?, this reader screeched. I just think some people need to learn to think before they speak...

Can you please bring the movie Good night and Good luck to Des Moines, IA? I keep seeing commercials for it saying it is playing in select cities. It is as bad as watching those Shop Macy's commercials a while ago when there is no Macy's here to shop at. Anyway, I want to see the movie. Thank you. Post later. Bye!

I was going through my computer dating service for advice on dating. One question was asking why do people keep telling me I'm wonderful the first few dates and then had a great time on their latest date, but they never want to see me again. This person is so sick of being rejected. Why can't this person find their soul mate!? The answer was to keep trying and rejection is just the natural order of things. I thought that was very poor advice offering no real solution to this person's problem. I hate to inform people of this, but maybe, just maybe, these dates are just being nice and polite, not truly interested in their date. Very few people enjoy hurting other people's feelings. Sure movies have lots of villians, but most of us are not Darth Vader. We commonly avoid conflict like the plague. So that could be the reason. Another reason could be not reading the signs of someone not interested in you, so when they had enough of your company, they get more direct and hurtf...

My sister has asked for about the 3rd time now for me to be her surrogate mother for the baby boy her husband wants. They have looked into adoption and trying fertility treatments to get one more child. I am more queesy about getting fat, cranky, go through surgery to get pregnant, and then go through the birth for someone else. I hate needles. If I'm going through that hell, it will for myself. Sure I love my sister and the $10,000 she offered. I pointed out I know she doesn't have $10,000. But I don't love my sister and money that much. I told her she is better off adopting an unwanted baby in a foreign country whose mother won't be claiming the baby back like many do in America. Plus I heard on news about a woman promising her baby to 3 couples over the internet to milk them out of money then suddenly changing her mind once the baby was born. Post later. Bye!

I had a customer call about her car rental contract. It had the correct return city on it, but the wrong state. She is not taking the car 1000 miles. I go into my computer to change the return location. We do not have one in the city she wants. I offer other nearby cities. Those won't do for her destination. I place her on hold to check the other car rentals. The one right next door is willing to help her out. I give the competition her information. But there is a snag. She does not live nearby and might arrive to return the car after my coworker leaves. She prefers to come when we open back. She is then concerned about the charges. Our computer system does not allow contract cancellations after an hour, it would have to be zeroed out in order to not charge her. I figured that would be unfair to charge her since she must rent another car from the rental next door because of our mistake. I explained I would leave a note for her rental. My coworker flips out over my decision. He says...

I said good-bye to my jack o'latern tonight when I came home form work. Jack was getting moldy and stinky. I dropped him in the dumpster without any fanfare. Too bad I only lit jack's candle inside once when I first got him. Oh well. Post later. Bye!

Go ahead and laugh at me, my friends already have. Yesterday, I saw a couple carrying newborn twin boys at the airport. Aaah, aren't they so cute I pointed them out to my coworkers. I felt the need to have something to love so badly that I walked over to the car rental next door to ask how the pregnant cat was doing. The gal said the cat is fine. She also said after they open their eyes she will bring them in a basket so I can pick one out. The kittens are suppose to born in December, so in the spring I'll a kitten in my apartment. Then later I came across a great idea when I get my cat. A kitty shower. Most women I know said it sounded like fun through their giggles. One guy told me to get a life. I do get out. I saw Elizabethtown last Wednesday. I had to see Orlando Bloom. Need I say more? Anyway, the kitty shower will have to wait until spring. I'm excited. I never planned and hosted a party, a side effect of having a dinky apartment. Post later.

Ya know sometimes women don't get male humor. Today while we were busy at the car rental counter with a line of customers, a bad name was used towards my coworker in a joking manner by another coworker. She was miffed. So miffed she emailed the bossman about it because she didn't want bother him at home. Apparently this guy miffed someone else (another guy) today with a negative comment that he called the bossman and the bossman was concerned enough to drive all the way over to see if the other guy was still angry hours later. It looks like I'll be learning to drive cars because my coworker refuses to drive them now when the offender is present. Then again the owner could smooth things over. I have been told that once a complaint is made to him, it does not happen again. I like that quality in a boss. The offender never bothered me or said anything negative to me. In fact he is responsible and helpful toward me. I liked him. Then again, I have in the past called the owner a...

Earlier this week I took a photograph of the sunrise outside my balcony. Today I visited my hometown and took more pictures of the beautiful Iowa I know. Many outside Iowa think of my home as ugly, boring, and flat. I'll let you be the judge. This first picture is the balcony view from my apartment in the daylight. I am sorry for the trees blocking the view. The next photo was taken near by beautician's house overlooking a gravel road. Over the hills is the city of Indianola. I actually had a customer who did not know what a gravel road was. She must have lived her whole life inside the concrete jungle called a city. Then I took shots of Otter Creek nearby and the countryside looking east from Amos corner, otherwise known as the junction of Highway 65. A man named Amos once lived on the corner and the name stuck with locals. Over these hills is my hometown. Next is our grain elevator (grain storage) down the street from my parents' house. At night the star on top of the bui...

Last February, my name appeared in the Oprah Magazine's Letters to the Editor section and I thought I was special, like winning the lottery type of special. Today I received a phone call from Family Circle to confirm the city I live in for their Letters section. A while ago I wrote to the magaine about a story a guy wrote living with his sons hearing experts say the sexes are equal and the same. I wrote in that it was interesting to read the story because I only have nieces. I included that despite what experts say the sexes are not same in many ways. One point I made was stating the sexes use different parts of the brain doing the same function that is noticed when people have strokes. I read once upon a time that women use both parts of the brain in speech while as men use one side, so men who lose their speech can't regain any while as women can regain some. I don't know how much of my letter will be in the Letters section, I forgot to ask which edition. Anyway, I won th...

Hello. In a vast survey of Americans living outside my state published in the paper last Sunday showed nothing new. Many Americans are ignorant of my area of the country and confusing Iowa with Idaho and Ohio. Some who have never been here or knew someone living here grades our landscape as flat and boring. The ones who have been here gave better grades on our scenery. I will try to show the next few days how beautiful it really is. There is more to Iowa than cornfields along the interstate highways. Here is a photo of the sunrise this morning. Sorry the trees in front of my balcony are in the way, but somewhere behind them is the sunrise. Post later. Bye!

I'm starting to hate computer dating services. I enrolled into another dating service with the special love formula so proudly advertised by all dating services. My membership to the first one expires next week. I know the reason they give monthly memberships is because their love formulas sucks. This time my personality profile on this service was way off. It said I was an extroverted risk taker. I am very shy wuss with spurts of courage. Not only that but my match's profile was everything I do not want and what he is attracted to I am not. Nothing going to happen here. I cancelled my membership to that one. Post later. Bye!

Isn't it amazing how some people love homemade gifts thinking of how much time and thought the giver gave to the gift while others feel insulted by the cheapness of the gift and demand "Why did you give me this?". I bought some ceramic houses to add to my Christmas village that need to be painted. I realized later, after I slopped some paint on them, that the church I bought I already have. It looked so different in the picture than what I painted on it. I just have to decide who to give it to for Christmas. The answer will be whomever I think will appreciate it the most. Who shall get the church? My brother. Being a man he lacks Christmas decorations and he is a very religious person. You could say I have a mission to decorate his living room for Christmas. Post later. Bye!

Where is the Halloween spirit? I try so hard to convince an agent next door to wear a costume on Halloween. Her company encourages it on the 31st, but not allowed on the 30th. She says she don't want to spend $30 on a costume. I even offered my red cape and basket to be Little Red Riding Hood. I came up with an idea of leaving behind my cat attachments on Sunday night, since do not work Monday, so the agent next door can wear them Monday. How could she pass up on a free costume? She said she will think about it. I don't believe this. I'm just not persuasive. I tried offering my cat attachments to my coworker so I'm not the only one dressing up for Halloween at our counter. He said my costume attachments might look too girly. I can see that point. Have you any idea how queer it looks to be the only one in a costume of all the car rentals the 30th every single year? I stick out like a sore thumb, it's embarassing. I told my boss that we need to encourage more employee...

I have noticed in my dot com dating service that many guys have rejected my profile simply because there was not a photograph posted. I do have one posted, I just decided to show it after we jump through all the hoops and I want this guy to see what I look like. There is more to a woman than her appearance. Besides that I don't really want a superficial guy anyway, I rather have one with a little patience. Post later. Bye!

I had my last day at my volunteer position at an outdoor musuem. I turned in my outfit today. I shall see next week if I miss it. I haven't touched my novels this summer very much. Things just keep getting in the way. Back to writing now. If only lightening would strike my brain and great ideas for my books could flow out onto my computer screen. That would be great. My Mom and sister both have asked if I will volunteer again next year. We shall see. They are very eager for me to change jobs so they can stop being disappointed in my chosen profession of renting cars. They say I need to be around better people who are worthy of me, whatever that is suppose to mean. I like my job just fine and have met better people in nice suits who are complete jerks. Besides nobody is close to my level or similar to me, I'm one of a kind. Post later. Bye!

Wow! I got my first comment on my novel I posted on another blog. This person had a much to say about my story. First this person asked if this story was written 4000 years ago. Answer: Um, no. I started it 2 years ago and finished it last year. It does take place during the shift of the Bronze Age (Trojan War) and the Iron Age (Classical Greece) if that what this commentor meant. Next lines of this comment were: I have a headache after reading it. It is so confusing, the characters, the plot, the English. Answer: I'm sorry but I can't tell what was so confusing by reading this line. Confusing characters? I have a prince lad going on a journey, the prince's father is in exile, the prince's guardian who is a high priestess, a high priest who fulfills his religious duties, a merchant's son who is the prince's friend, a runaway peasant sweeping floors in an inn whom the prince met, and then the boys meet characters as the prince and his young bodyguards run for saf...

I was asked a question from one of my many matches at the dot com dating service I am on. What would your answer be to this? Tonight if you could do anything you wanted to do in the world, no consequences, no costs, no regrets, what would you do? My answer: Watch TV.

I carved my Jack o'Latern tonight. A very slimy business. While I was jabbing the pumpkin, I recalled many kids and mommies who can't handle dirty hands. I do wonder how neat freaks deal with carving jack o'laterns. I guess they get a black marker to make one, unless they get someone else to do it. I have a neat freak aunt I doubt ever touched the inside of a pumpkin. I actually enjoyed cooking and play-dough as a kid for the very reason that one is suppose to get one's hands dirty. Post later. Bye!

It's my Friday tonight so I'm relaxing in front of my computer. I babysit my niece tomorrow. I have to take pictures, she keeps changing. I send them to my sister and brother who live further away. Any good ones I make copies for my Mommy. The baby's parents are picture happy so they never need more pictures in their albums. The baby is the perfect model. She sees a camera and sits still and smiles and stops after the flashes hit her. Sometimes my camera will flash 2 or 3 times before snapping a photo, which means I get a baby with eyes closed. One of sister's cats loves to sniff the camera and follow me around. Once I got an extreme close up of the cat, that made cat move away from camera for a moment. I have to grocery shop and prepare to send my novel idea to publisher #5 or #6, I'm staring to lose count. All my news tonight. Post later. Bye!

Last night when the counter gal next door was looking for change, she got some attitude from somebody saying "I wouldn't give you any if I had it." She was so upset she was repeating herself and I thought she was going to cry. I told her that is the occassion when to say not to ask any favors from you when he needs one. Yesterday and today I have been so busy I haven't been socializing much. Tonight I asked one guy she asked for change what the deal was and he fully denied giving her attitude and certainly didn't say that to her. OK, it must have been the other one. I thought both guys gave her attitude when she was upset, but guess not. The other guy she asked wasn't there tonight so I have to give him hell tomorrow. I don't like that guy anyway so it will be my pleasure. When I told the gal next door this and she starts 2nd guessing herself saying maybe he said that because she was old, or maybe he was joking, or maybe they really aren't allowed to g...

Today in addition to reading Halloween pumpkin carving ideas in a magazine I read advice on Christmas chaos strategies. I was most amused at the stretch out cleaning and chores over large spans of time so it doesn't overwhelm oneself. Duh! I have advice too: If you are one of those who are too busy to clean and have friends or family who inspect the cleaniness of your house: Hire a maid. Or follow my sister's route and pay a relative to clean parts of her house. Plus, most people I know don't really notice dust on blinds or a crumb on the floor. You wouldn't worry so much about what people thought about you, if only you knew how often they do not. If you don't have time to cook the magazine said have other people bring food too: I also include hire a caterer, get pies from a restraunt, or get acquainted with grocery store bakery and freezer sections. The bakeries at the grocery stores I know make great stuff from brownies, cookies, cakes, cupcakes, pies, cinnomon ro...

I am ready to find publisher #6 to be rejected by, but naturally I keep finding self-publisher ads appearing on the list. Let's get something straight here. I do not have hundreds of dollars laying around to see see my novel printed, I have a computer hooked up to a printer if I desire to see my novel in print. And what am I going to do with 100 copies required to purchase from these self-publishers. Sure I can give them away to everyone I know so these books can lay untouched on a bookshelf while my wonderful friends and family pretend to be delighted by my story. I am not giving away copies of my story I worked on for over a year so they can be used as coasters or decorations on a shelf. I write for people to enjoy reading. I have my story on a blog. Has anyone I gave that address to looked at it? Of course not, I put a site meter on it. I am frustrated to a T. I better go. Working firl has to pay the rent, and the electric and cable bills too. Post later. Bye!

I was brave tonight. I removed 2 former coworkers from my email address book. They never email me. I have no idea if they receive my messages at all. Of course I was hoping that eventually one day I would receive a reply. I am the type who sends out 20 emails to someone for every email I receive. After months and months of silence, I give up and erased them. One put me on her Instant Messenger thing that tells you when your contacts are online. I have not received a single instant from her. I don't know why I'm still on her list. Oh well, their loss. Nothing interesting happened today. I saw in the paper about the governor trying to convince people to conserve energy this winter. Shouldn't we be conserving energy always? I like paying low electric bills because I'm a selfish bitch who likes spending money on other things. I turn my lights out when not being used. I am an accomplished microwave chef who sometimes uses her stove. And I tape that plastic over my windows an...

It was hot today. I nearly put the air conditioner back on. I volunteered in this heat and felt fortunate not to be baking. I crocheted a bit and unraveled my creation. Just practicing. Few visitors came despite the lovely weather. One more week and I have to wash my outfit to turn it in. I informed my assistnat superviosr of the hope I have of meeting people on my dot com matching site. Well, not doing so good. I keep scaring guys away. I jump through the loops to get to the communication part and after a couple emails they stop cold. I just wish I knew the magic words to keep a guy interested. Anybody know what they are? People say be yourself, but obviously that is not working very well. Anyway, if anyone finds Prince Charming could you please send him my direction. Post later. Bye.

Did I miss Autumn I went into the Christmas season? I heard Christmas music playing while shopping today. I entered the Halloween and Autumn aisles to find Christmas items sitting next to Autumn. Is it to much to ask to shop for Halloween and Thanksgiving before Christmas? And what is the deal with 3 feet of Halloween supplies next to 10 feet of Christmas? If retailers refuse those demands, then I ask, PLEASE NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. Only in the craft section is early shopping acceptable since projects can take weeks and months to complete. I got some buildings to paint for my Christmas village. I also got some figuines to paint too. That should keep me busy when I stop volunteering. Post later. Bye!

A gal at the counter next door is so stressed from customers getting mad at her over things she has no control over. I want to tell her get over it, but attempt to comfort her with understanindg. I make people mad at me on daily basis and I certainly never cry about it. Sometimes I have to stop myself from laughing at them. Yeah, I already figured out I'm losing their business because I don't have what they requested. They can bitch elsewhwere. And techinally I owe them nothing if they do not have a reservation. I asked if she has seen the reality show Airplane, some of my customers are like those people. They think just because they are giving us their dollars that they can be as rude as they please and I'm a genie who can make things magically appear. Whatever. They can take their nasty attitudes and cry a river at another counter. Post later. Bye!

Today is 4 people's birthday. 2 ex-best friends, 1 ex-coworker, and 1 current coworker. I sent my current coworker a birthday message with birthday email stationary at work. She won't read it until Monday. I think it is strange I know 4 people with same birthday who I liked and like very much. So for my ex-friends Tangela, Ricky, and Lisa, Happy Birthday whereever you are. I bet they are all drunk in bed by now. And Happy Birthday Glenda. Sorry I didn't buy a gift. I can Happy Birthday real loud at work if you like. Post later. Bye!

Today after work a coworker went to visit his father at his house. Last week his father was in the hospital, but feeling better. My coworker thought it strange that the house was dark and doors were locked. He kicked the door in to find his father at the dining room table with a bowl of cereal, dead. Talk about traumatic. The examiner thought he died the day before. I plan to bring a sympathy card tomorrow and ask if anyone else wants to sign it. Nobody gave me cards or much sympathy when 2 relatives died right before Christmas last year, but I can be kind to someone else. It is times like this when a person finds out who cares and who doesn't. Another coworker shares more empathy that anyone else because her father was a pilot and crashed over the middle of the ocean. Neither the plane nor people were ever found. Poor coworker. Post later. Bye!