The Adventures of Being Me

Roommate got a phone call from his Dad as I was doing the dishes. I tried the common on internet baking soda and vinegar mix unclog drain solution and then rinse cycle. Will see if it acutally works. I have no money for a plumber nor new dishwasher. I can't spend money until I save enough to pay my mortgage and student loan next week. Plus I bought a new printer this week cause old one won't turn on. I still have yet to set it up. I am either sleeping or working. I was washing dishes by hand. He told his Dad he had a phone interview and waiting to here from the manager to do the in person interview. He told me he had a job. Application and phone interview are not a job offer. I heard him say his ex girlfirend has a new girlfriend so he was discarded. Most of the conversation I ignored while listening to my IHeart radio music to give him privacy. Bilbo has been reactling snappy when petting him when I get near his hips. Catfight injury or arthritis, I don't know. Roommate ha...

Did laundry today and putting my clothes away, I notice a Christmas sweatshirt missing. Roommate cracking jokes asks what is wrong since I am not laughing. I can't figure out where it is. Wore it just before Christmas so has to be in my dirty laundry baskets, but it's not here. He starts looking around and I try to remember last time I saw it. Then he thinks I'm blaming him for it. No, I don't beleive he went through my dirty laundry and stole my sweatshirt. Why would want a fat lady's sweatshirt decorated for Christmas? After 15 minutes of searching the house, I finally recall removing clothes and laying them on the floor to sort the light and dark colors. Roommate rushed to the laundry room and found the sweatshirt on the floor. I had to comfort him and assure that I was not accusing him of tealing my sweatshirt. It was more like lying your phone and can't recall where you put it. Roommate had good news. He got a job at a gas station. He has been complainin...

Come home this morning to a happy roommate cause he broke up with his girlfriend again. He got tired of being ignored. Then his car buddy shows up in the driveway. I thought they weren't friends anymore. No, he just pushed him away a bit. OK, whatever he says. Went to bed. Woke up and decided I need to start exercing again. I know I put on weight since I stopped walking around Gray's Lake. I suck in my stomach and lose 3 inches. Did some light exercise in my pj's cause I din't want to overdo it to make my muscles ache. I need to tone my muscles. Wish me luck.

I once received a lecture from roommate how lucky I am so why am I so depressed. I have a house, a car, a job, and pets. It's lot more than he or his homeless junkie friends have. Ok, he is talking about material possessions that spent 20 years earning, plus the car my Mom bought and she gave me the down payment for my house. I am struggling to pay bills and groceries. He can't hold a job more than 4 months so I end up supporting him, his pets, and his homeless friends he invites over to help them (when actually he is not helping them when I pay the mortgage, the car gas, electric, water, and food they eat). Then I am forced to declare bankruptcy cause my retirement savings is almost gone and can't make the minimum payments on my credit cards to stay afloat plus have medical bills from my suicide attempt I can't pay. He can't figure out why I don't just smoke some weed or take CBD gummies and just be happy. My problems are not going away being high all day and g...

Roommate in badly need of money to pay court fines and needs weed so he decides to donate plasma. He is feeling guilty drinking up my juice to leave none for me when I am paying for all the food and drinks we have. I have to drive him over cause he broke up with car buddy. He dwells in the idea of selling drugs for money, but he don't want to go to jail. I point out he can send me to jail too since I let him live here and he can ruin his future. Oh, he knows how to not get caught. Yes, that is why he is on probation. I left him at the blood donation center and went grocery shopping since he will be there 2 hours, plus need a new printer. Get a call and answer it thinking it was my roommate saying to come back. No, it's a bill collector. They thank me for answering the phone and tell me I owe $800. I explain I am driving a car and hang up on them. Finish my shopping and go home. I put away the groceries and leave to pick him up. He calls when I am a couple blocks away to pick hi...

Received a surprise package for roommate on the front stoop. A grocery sack of old junk. He knows it was from his car buddy he just split up with. He says he is a bad influence by being a lover of meth, liquor, and cigarettes. Roommate has to vape cause nobody is around to buy cigarettes. He drank up the liquor car buddy gave him so mostly sober nlow aching for weed but dealing with it by vaping THC. I swear this guy would smoke weed every day of his life and yet he says he is not an addict cause he doesn't need it, he wants it to be happy. Yeah, that is the defintion of addiction. Car buddy left nothing for me even though I let him live in my house for weeks and offered my Christmas treats if he came to my hotel. He never came. I texted Merry Christmas to him and replied wishing me a Merry Christmas too. Had a interview set up for today. Printer wouldn't work so no paper resume to give interviewer. Hope they don't hold that against me. Followed Google Maps directions a...

Worked the overnight shift and came home in the morning. Packed car for sister's house visit. Fed cats and gave them catnip. Opened presents from Santa and lit Advent wreath Christmas Day candle. Then slept a few hours. Woke up to have roommate open his and his cat's Santa gifts. Went over to sister's house and had mid-afternoon lunch. Others had a cookie and pie snack I brought. Next we opened gifts. I thought we were having a cookie exchange but I got presents, a set of hand soap, lotion, and body spray of a brand I didn't have enough money to buy on Black Friday. Not a complete set since I didn't get shower gel, but close enough. Then we played Whoville monopoly. Nephew won. Next we watched A Christmas Story on TV. When that ended we left so I could turn on my outdoor lights for the neighbors. Unload the car and roommate wants sex. I was too tired and wanted to watch Meet Me in St Louis before I went to bed. We had sex just the other day and about 3 times las...

Came home from work and drove roommate to visit his girlfriend working the drive through of a coffee shop. I donated my baked treats and a candy cane for her gift from my roommate. He wrote a poem for her. As I went to bed, roommate said he will start cleaning the house. I have not done much cleaning the past 3 years since I started working overnight shifts. Feels like working 6 days a week and exhausting. Plus nobody comes over anymore so there's no point to it. I wake up and roommate is sleeping on the couch with a song about getting wasted playing on repeat. I watch The Nutcracker on YouTube as I read my emails. I discovered it is raining so can't turn on the lights outside. There's a button on the outlet that does prevents this. Baked more cookies for our gift exchange tomorrow and roommate wakes up. He asks for something from his room for his sore back. I discovered my closet doors have a bunch of knives and holes in them. Ask what he did to my doors. The sliders f...

Today I wrapped Santa gifts and put them out of cat reach. I don't put them under the tree cause cats lkke to chew on the paper.

Come home from work where I discovered we are selling liquor in the gift shop. And nobody said anything so had to call supervisors at midnight to ask how much to charge for the bottles. Roommate is constantly burping. Asked what he drank. A cup of Crown Royal he got from car buddy. Ah, he's drunk. He even fell down in the hallway. He managed get up by himself. Went to bed and wished him luck on his call with his probation officer today. He cussed so I knew he forgot about that. Wake up to go shopping for catnip and treats for cats' Santa gifts. Got a tweeting bird with the nip and gravy treat bags. Joined 2 cat photo contests. I need money. Read emails and set up a job interview for Tuesday at a music store. Asked roommate how his text messages with probation officer went. He's not off to jail yet so went well. He asked the true meaning of Christmas. I replied it the celebration of the birth of Jesus. He said thank you. While reading my emails, roommate informed me...

Made more frosting and got the cake decorating bag out to finish the cupcakes. Then sprinkled color sugar on top. No more baking. Roommate is meditating and gettign close with God while waiting for his girlfriend. SHe has yet to appear since she said she was coming over 3 days ago. Now watching Christmas movies. Roommate never heard from the interview manager. He said he went to the interview high cause he needed a pick me up. And he wonders why people don't hire him. And yeah, sometimes he needs a pick me up and goes to work high. I told him maybe he should go on interveiws sober.

Security guard (or rather his professional baker girlfriend) gave me treats for Christmas. A peanut butter chocolate ball, a plain ginger snap, a decorated gingerbread girl, and almond bark pretzel. Later, security guard reported water all over the laundry room from a leaking washer. We have electrical cords down there so had the displeasure of calling the general manager who lives at the hotel in the middle of the night. He went down there and said he hadn't seen anything like it. Had the security guard take the vaccum cleaners out of the puddle and said he would call engineering. Might need the washer machine repair guy to come. Or buy a new one. Yikes. Frosted the cookies tonight. Then I realized I forgot about the cupcakes. Work on those tomorrow. Then no more baking this year.

Thank you a**wipes who tossed shiny silver confetti in the pool to celebrate someone's birthday. I had the security guard with a net trying to grab it all out. He got what he could and stopped. Left a note for engineering cause that might clog the filters and might have to close the pool. Gingerbread men and ladies are done. Tomorrow get to frost all the cookies and my pink moscato cupcakes. Then no more baking for a while. Unless I rebake something cause I ate too much. Have 2 Christmas dinners. One on Christmas Day with sister and brother, plus our Mom and Aunt. Exteneded family Christmas on New Year's Eve with sister and nieces in Nebraksa, aunts and uncles, and cousins.

Sigh. Rushing to get ready for work and get can cat food out. Bilbo cat won't come out from under the covers. Visitor cat Lily starts eating and hear Bilbo rustling around. Last time I just let Lily eat saying "All is fair in love and war". Bilbo later refused to eat after Lily when he finally came out. So tonight I removed the covers and gave that cat turd dinner in bed so he would eat. When he was finished, I put it back on the floor for Lily and Misty to eat off of. Cat manners (dominant cats eat first). Roomate who gave his ex girlfriend his kittens when they got worms and told her she could keep them to make her feel better about him having her cat Lily. Well, she told him she broke up with her new man and gave them to her ex boyfriend sho stole ex from Roommate. He was furious this guy who was his friend stole his girl now had his kittens. He says he wants his kttens back but doesn't know where he is.

Got the results of the 2nd round of the Baking contest I entered. I was 16th place and ony 15 move on with the contest. At least I tried. People call me crazy to find more money to pay of my debt. I'm desperate and on the edge of declaring bankruptcy. Yes, bankruptcy will destroy my financial well being, but then it was already destroyed since I lost my job in 2010 and been in a downward spiral ever since.

Got the sugar cookies made. Need to bake gingerbread cookies and then get everything frosted. Since roommate's frosting was very lumpy and thick from the old powdered sugar so better sift it next time. 10 more baking days until Christmas.

Got home in the morning from work and roommate asked me to wake him to get ready for his interview at a car wash so I stayed awake writing on a new story instead of hopping into bed. He asked me to take him to his interview too, but I would get no sleep today if I did. He asked his car buddy to take him so I could sleep. After I woke up, I took him to my hotel so he could have free cheesecake (they give free food for birthdays and anniversaries) and I bought a pizza. He loves their cheesecake. He didn't say much to his former coworkers and disappeared to sit outside in the cold. I told them he went out to smoke and a little embarrassed they saw him with bloodshot eyez from being high. Next year he turns 21 and can sit at the bar. We went home and he called his family. I asked what his family thought of him living with me. He said they were surprised he was so lucky. Well, he said after his family abandoned him in a hotel room, he slept under bridges and nearly froze to death. H...

Girlfriend who was set to bring my roommate Mary Jane today never showed up. Big Surprise. Roommate was so excited to see her too. Since tomorrow is his birthday, I baked a cake for him. I took it to work and he dropped by, but people he knew weren't there. I got plates and silverware for the cake, but nobody wanted a piece. He was with his friends at a hotel all night. Birthday started at midnight. They gave him a bottle of wine and a Galileo thermometer. He said his friend did food delivery for hours to buy that wine. His other friend didn't have money to buy him a present so she gave him something she already owned and knew he liked it. He was so touched so many people care about him.

Roommate's latest ex girlfriend came by with her sister and baby niece to pick up her stuff from my house. He asked for a few dollars sent to his online wallet to give her gas money. Of course I sent it. Apparently he now feels guilty for breaking up with her so they are back on again. She has been going through issues and someone had her phone to block roommate from talking to her. She was running away from her abusive ex and is done with him. Then he talks about red flags he sees and says he doesn't know what to do. I told him not to feel guilty because he didn't know what was going on when he broke up with her when she wasn't communicating. Tomorrow she returns with weed and roommate is so excited. Then he realized one of his air pistol pellets hit his glass bong and it's broken. I told him he can use one of the plastic bottles he has laying around my house. Then his stocking I bought arrived and he loves it. Next he left to go food delivering with his car buddy ...

Ask the front desk person if they met the new sales coordinator they hired instead of me. Yes. I replied, Let me guess what they are like cause sales directors keep hiring the same person. She is blonde, age 20, no experience and/or no brain, and has a sparkling personality who will leave in 4 months when they can't handle the actual job. They said they were not blonde and had no hotel experience. They think She won't last 30 days. A guest asked for cups for tea packets in the gift shop. We were out so offered to send some to their room. No, they will just get Gatorade cause their room doesn't have hot water. OK, guess they don't know how to heat water in the micowave or with the coffee pot (who says you have to put a coffee packet in the pot). Went to make sugar cookies with my cookie dough in the fridge and I can't find my rolling pin. Looked all over the kitchen cupboards in case roommate put it away not knowing where things go. A cookie sheet is missing t...

Watched Die Hard with roommate since we have the house back to just us again. I always have a heart attack looking at the gas price in the scen where the cop at the gas station looks at the building. Go to work and return home to have my roommate inform me of a major cat fight occurring around 4 AM. He showed me his scratches from the separatling the cats. Poor Bilbo was shut into my room and hiding under my covers. He came out for his treats and his tail was wet. Realized getting into bed that there is a wet spot. Bilbo peed in my bed and there was poop by the window. Sigh. Had to sleep trying to avoid the wet spot and then washed the sheets and blanket with vinegar.

Merry Christmas to all my family and friends, Spent New Year’s Eve with family having our extended family Christmas. Then went to work at my hotel job as the night auditor. I knew it was midnight when heard people screaming in the lobby. Soon I was training the new front desk manager in the night audit. She spent the night texting on her phone when I was trying to show her how to do the night reports. Then suddenly, she completely stopped showing up for work and they fired her after three days. No more training. Made Heart Wreaths for Valentine’s Day. I made gnomes from red, pink, and white yarn too. I got a new mold to make heart wax melts and added Strawberry Rose as a new scent in my collection. Got a new roommate when an old coworker (security guard at the hotel I work at) needed a place to crash. I picked him up at work to offer the guest room until he got back onto his feet again. He is a good cook and helps fix things. Saw Niece #3 visiting the States from South Korea...

Doing my laundry and roommate's car buddy came home. Roommate commented car buddy was drunk. Roommate next is upset he just got a call from his friend that car buddy showed up at their house while they were having their visitation with their kid and were embarrassed. This starts a 3-hour long fight all over the house and somehow my name gets getting brought up. Roommate goes on how much his friend drinks, the bad friends he has brought to my house, he's been on drugs since age 13, been in this state while his family is in another state for 3 years, and now after living with me who has done so much for him, he dreams of going to college. He wants to give up the drugs cause it brought him nothing but trouble and dysfunctional addict friends. You have no idea how proud of him I am at this moment. He tries to help his friends but finds out they are just using him (which is why he broke up with his last girlfriend when she ignored him for weeks and then asked him for money). Room...

Went over to Mom's apartment to put up her decorations for her. Arrive and Mom doesn't want me to put up anything. She wants me to take everything home. She bought a small topiary tree already decorated and doesn't need anything else out cause she doesn't have room for it. I see plenty of room for her decorations. It is time for her assisted living supper. I tell her to go eat her supper. Sometimes you just have to tell people to stop arguing with you and just say thank you. I put out the decorations and she returns happy. Yeah, she did have plenty of room. Turns out she didn't have the energy and flexibility to sit her Nativity scene and Christmas Village on the floor. That's why I was there and it's our tradition for me to put put out her decorations for her. Though I bumped her plant searching for a electrical socket to plug in the extension cord. I put the plant back and picked up as much dirt I could find, but I am sure it's going to die. Nurses cam...

In all my misery and heartaches compiled with disappointment, I still find myself donating the last dollar in my purse to the Salvation Army red kettle and preparing treat boxes for the vet, chiropractor, mechanic, and mail carrier. I don't have to, but my kindness is something not even bad luck can take away from me. And this is also probably why I don't have friends, people feel guilty I give when they don't. Then with others, when I do stop giving when going broke, they throw a hissy fit how they won't give me anything if I stop giving them stuff. I can't win.

Watched my childhood church's service on the computer (in another town too far drive) and lit my first Advent wreath candle. Today I start my baking. Fudge and English Toffee tonight on the stovetop. Pink Moscato Cupcakes and drop peanut butter cookies with Hershey Kiss on top next. Then roll out gingerbread people and sugar cookies last. And nobody will give me a chance as an event planner or hotel Christmas decorator. Oh well, keep applying for jobs. Then roommate mentioned he didn't work at the fast food place anymore. He spilled oil on the floor and manager made him stay until 3 AM cleaning it up. So he quit. Sigh, 3 jobs in 1 year does not look good to prospective employers. At least he does food delivery with his friend who practically moved in too.

Earlier this week I went grocery shopping and got depressed looking at all the baking ingredients knowing I have to save money and can't go beserk with Christmas baking this year. Well Hy-Vee has a baking sale this weekend so I shopped for ingredients (and only got what I needed). So will be baking my Pink Moscato cupcakes my coworkers love and family don't eat. Plus gingerbread people, sugar, and peanut butter with Hershey Kiss cookies. Then English Toffee and fudge. No almond bark pretzels this year, I had to cut something.

Checked the status of my application for sales coordinator at my hotel. I was not selected. Huge surprise. Old sales director rejected me last year so why should the new director be different. Just keep applying at other places cause this hotel management team will never let me leave night audit hell. I also found out I was rejected in setting up the Christmas decorations around the hotel. My supervisor will be doing it. Another kick in the teeth is just another day in the adventures of being me.

Happy December 1. We all can start working on the Advent Calendar now. My niece got me a Buy 1 Get 1 Free chocolate Advent calendar on Black Friday. She kept one and gave the other to me. Such a sweet girl. She once wanted all my family to exchange gifts on Christmas. This Sunday I will light my first Advent candle. There is a reason we don't exchange gifts. I have a cheap brother who doesn't want to buy anything for anybody and only does it out of obligation. Then one (I have 2) sister who wanted extragent gifts nobody in family can afford. One year she demanded we all buy her a $400 mixer she wanted, so $100 from each sibling (3) and our parents (1). Then she got mad we refused to do that. For my part, I didn't have $100 to give her and gave her a $20 gift card to the store she wanted the buy the mixer from. Later she asked us not to buy her anything cause she hated our cheap gifts and then got mad she she received no presents to unwrap on Christmas Day (she unwrapped...