The Adventures of Being Me

I made it to my sister's house and talked briefly with my brother. I also did laundry and watched the baby play in the grass. Neighbors stopped by to say hello. My niece has scrapes by her eye from tumbling off the deck, one woman said there will be more scrapes and bruises. Then she joked about calling human services. Haha. As night fell I brought the baby in. My niece did not take well me going downstairs to check on laundry. So I took her downstairs. She crawled from the tv room to my feet. I almost kicked her not realizing she was there. She is the type who hates being left in a room alone. We watched the rest of Anger Management. I was confused someone left the tv on when everyone was outside. Big waste of electricity. Then Back to the Future III was on next. I left after a few minutes since my clothes were done. That's alright, I have the DVDs of the trilogy. Then I came home and browsed blogs. Good night.

It's Memorial Day again. I left plastic roses at my grandparents tombstones. This is the first year all 4 are dead. Grandma's death date is still not on the stone. The funeral home my Dad paid for the engraving declared bankruptcy a month after he paid them. He is trying to get his money back since they are not doing the job and pay someone else to do it. I also decorated my great and great-great grandparents graves. Mom had visited the cemetery last Saturday so that made them easier to spot. My Mom's relatives are all in the same cemetery. Beyond my great-great grandparents, her ancestors are in Illinois and Missouri. Next was my other grandparents' tombstone in a city they never lived in. Grandpa did not wish to be buried out in the boondocks where his descendents would have trouble finding him. That is also easy to find. It is the largest in the cemetery, close to the size of a piano. I decided to let Mom decorate the boondock graves scattered around different cemete...

I had evil thoughts going insane from boredom today at work. I emailed my manager today stating that I came up with wrapping up the counter supplies of staplers, phones, vacuum cleaner, etc. with newspaper. But then, I thought I might get into trouble for wasting tape, so I didn't do it. I thought up TPing the backroom because customers might not like toliet paper all over the company sign. I told ya I was bored out of my mind to go out of character. I shared my plots with coworkers and they burst out laughing. Very unlike me to trash anything. I told my manager in her email that It's the thought that counts. Right? Post later. Bye!

According to today's newspaper, Iowa ranks 49th in # of acres for recreation. 2% of Iowa is set aside for public recreational land. 91% of Iowa is farmland. Iowa has no national forests, no national park, no protected wilderness. Kansas is last place on the rankings. No wonder when tourists come by asking what is here to see and do we say, Nothing. Post later. Bye!

Today I read a piece in the paper about war orphans from World War II. It was quite sad. Then I recognized one of the men pictured. He is my Dad's cousin's husband. I did not know he was a war orphan. Mom must add that to the family history book. And you think you know someone. I emailed the reporter in thanks adding that I thought my relatives all came back from World War II, my Grandma's brothers did and started families after they got back. Small world. Post later. Bye!

I am just hating people today. Don't like anybody. I read in a magazine today about someone asking what to do when her friend is rude to all salesclerks and servers in restraunts. The advice given was to point out the rude behavior and many salesclerks and servers will be grateful. We have a word for rude people who think we are just peons born to serve their every command: Asshole. Yes, Your Highnesses we don't like your abusive language anymore than you like us. I assure you that you are not the customer in the world. I even kicked someone who didn't like our return policy out of the store I used to work for after she called my coworker a moron. The 2 ladies stared at me in shock responding with, You are asking us to leave. I said, No I'm telling you to leave, Now. 1 said I can't speak to her friend that way. I said that she can explain that to the security guard when he gets here. They left. I just had a phone call with a jerk who wanted weekend rates. I sent him...

The drama never stops at my coworker's house. Today she took her stepson on his school trip to the zoo. She was in charge of 5 children. It was nightmare. Waiting to get on their bus, she witnessed 7 school buses unload. She said there had been at least 20 school groups present. She was so tired from walking that she did not join them for lunch in the park. She goes home and gets ready for work. The stepson's mother calls to ask how it went. My coworker innocently admitted she let this 6-year-old boy take pictures with the disposable camera she sent with her son with a note attached with a request to get photos of the boy at the zoo with his friends. And my coworker let him take this camera to the park. The mother was furious at her for letting this kid touch the camera, he can't take good pictures and she will have to pay a fortune to get the photos developed. Well, my coworker says she has to go and hangs up. My coworker gets a call at work from her husband who just got y...

Since I have overheard man on his cell phone yelling at an airline person about taking 3 flights and lost a piece of his luggage on each flight, I have a packing tip for airline travelers. DO NOT pack anything you can not handle being lost, stolen, or misdirected to the wrong airport in your checked luggage. Pack those important things in your carry on or your pocket. You may have less stress on your trip. Post later. Bye!

I keep hearing the Metrosexual man term. I have been watching a show that mentioned the metrosexual look. I guess clean-cut, gentlemen terms are out now. If Metrosexual translates into hot looking man, I'm all for it. I don't really care the grudge slob look with boxer shorts peeking out. I like well dressed men. They look really good. Post later. Bye!

Hello again. I just saw a news clip on TV with complaints that the military is breaking their own rules banning women from combat. They suggested lessening the possibility of women from being killed or captured in noncombat jobs and missions, which has already happened. I recall when the draft fear was suggested that women not be excluded from the being draft into the military. Why? They are banned from fighting. I also recall a news story years ago about women in the Gulf War in the early 1990's did noncombative missions of refueling airplanes in mid-air and transporting supplies that were in reality more dangerous than combative missions their male comrades faced. From my point of view, if women are allowed to die for their country, be POWs, and can be drafted then the ban needs to go. Obviously, the military is breaking its own rules for a reason. The War on Terror needs women in combat. Post later. Bye!

One thing is for sure, George Lucas does not disappoint. I can only hope I become a great storyteller like him and Steven Spielburg. Though, I still wonder how Darth Vader knew about Luke and not Leia. In Return of Jedi, Darth says to Luke that "Obi Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete." Oh well, I enjoyed the movie. Though, Obi Wan is correct that Anakin is the chosen one to destroy the Sith, just not how he intended. Darth Vader does kill the emperor in Return of the Jedi and dies as the last Sith because Vader did not have an apprentice. Thus, balance is brought back to the force through Luke. Enough rambles. Post later. Bye!

I guess I'm not rid of the freaky guy who quit for another job after all. His car rental company has a bit of trouble hiring new people. The owner's daughter and wife are here today. The daughter quit long ago to work in a bank, but comes back to help out her parents. The freaky guy is still working part-time at the car rental. One guy who used to work there told me that the owner shows up 2 hours late to interview applicants. Most applicants wait for 20 minutes before leaving. That could explain why they have trouble hiring new people. This guy came on weekends after he quit for a much better office job to help them clean cars. I thought the idea of quitting was to permanently leave the job. I guess not. Post later. Bye!

It has been 2 weeks since the luggage carosal belt starting squeeking and I have been informed that the airport refuses to do anything about it. My coworker even suggested super glueing the belt down late at night and hopefully not get caught by the security cameras. I am growing crazy enough to do that. The belt is so irritating all day long. Post later. Bye!

Greetings Valued Customer. Since we appreciate your business, we are changing how we do business you. We are informing you of our change in point earnings. Instead of Regular Points, we present to you Special Points. What this means to you is that you can not redeem your Regular points while we alter our computer system. Plus, your Regular Points will be cut in half to be converted into Special points. Please look at our Special points catalog. You will notice that you have to spend twice the money to earn what you got under Regular points, in addition to the fact we have decided to make our Special points expire after 60 days. So spend, spend, spend to earn our Special awards in our catalog. Thank you so much to doing business with us, we value your money. OK this how I interpreted the letter I got from my credit card money. I will canceling it. Post later. Bye!

My friend must be going through something because she is sending Godly emails to me again. I don't know what part of I am not deeply spiritual that she does not get. Maybe I should send a nasty email to her to say "knock it off" to her since she doesn't get my silence as meaning stop sending them. I have to think about before I crush her feelings. Post later. Bye!

I attended my nieces' dance recital last night. It was 4 hours and 15 minutes long. This dance teacher is busy. In 2 towns, she has 11 instructors teaching adult and kids ballet, pointe, jazz, tap, Irish dancing, baton, tumbling, and dance competition teams. On top of that she conducts the Nutcracker ballet. This lady has been in buisiness for 20 years. She even offers scholarships for free dance lessons. My oldest niece won a 1/2 year scholarship for Irish dancing and the Nutcracker ballet. I'm a proud aunt. As you can tell it was very long. One niece was in 7 dances and the other niece was 2 dances. At the end they had a group of men wearing undershirts and boxer shorts, white socks with dirty sneaker, with tutus. They did a mock ballet and got a loud applause. I found out later, my nieces wore fake hair. Whatever. My nieces slept extra long today. They are out of school now and they're parents are at work. Hopefully, they will behave for me until their parents come back....

Hello again. I baked oatmeal cookies today at my volunteer position. Last week was a spice cake. Everybody loves my treats. I stunned my Mom telling her my spice cake was not burned yesterday. My Mom has a conviction that I am a bad cook. Her conviction is so strong that my nieces refuse to eat anything I make because "Grandma" said I can't cook anything. Mom thought that was hilarious. This week the first batch of cookies were overcooked, but not burnt. The next 2 batches were perfect since I was watching them. The last batch came out gooey undercooked since the stove's fire went out and after relit, they did not wish to get done. 2 people ate my cookies, I had 5. I thought they were very tasty. Moms can be wrong even if they can never admit it. Mine never does. My Mom is always right even when you can manage to prove her wrong. Post later. Bye!

I read in today's newspaper that the Pentagon is planning to close military bases to solve their budget crunch. Then in the same section there are requests to double or even triple the budget to fight the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Excuse me? Will someone please explain to me how laying off the armed forces and yet send other armed forces to war occurs at the same time? This makes no sense to me. In my opinion, I don't think Bush is winning the War on Terror, just delaying peace. War on conflicting ideas of the perfect world just doesn't get won with destroying a country's, make that 2 countries', infrastructures and then expecting the conquered to love the conquerors. It doesn't work that way. I do not believe Bush or Rice have any intention of ever leaving Iraq or Afghanistan. I wonder if Powell did. How does one win a war against terrorists? I don't know. In the history books, the Vikings terrorized the coasts of Europe, finding the New World before Co...

I read in today's Sunday paper declaring the average hourly wage in my state is $14.40 as of last March and there was an article talking how these college graduates will have to struggle to pay bills and loans at that rate. Struggling! At $14.40 an hour ($30,000 a year)! I work for a lot less than that and manage to pay for the cable, internet on computer and cell phone, electric, rent, and of course food and gas. Does that mean I live in the poor house? I'm insulted here. I paid off about $20,000 (including estimated interest) in 4 years and 9 months earning $6 to $7 an hour ($14,000 a year) and proud of that. I think someone needs to lower their standards of college graduate wages and cost of living. So what if they can't afford to live in the lap of luxury, a lot of grown ups don't either. Welcome to the adult world graduates. Post later. Bye!

As graduates and teenagers edge toward the end of school and enjoy the summer job market there are tons of tips of winning the dream job after a nervous interview. I shall offer my tips of the info I would give my niece. Guidelines for Job Interviews: 1 What Competitive Wages Mean: Associates are not paid the same and the company tries to pay you as little as possible. Pay varies by department, status (like manager versus associate), and experience. At my first retail job after college (age 22), I was paid the same as the 16-year-old hired 2 months after me. Then another 16-year-old hired a month before me in another section was paid $1 more than me. At my current job, a coworker was furious when he learned the new guy is paid more than him. 2 What Train on the Job means: Crash courses, so be ready to take notes so it only has to be explained to you once. 3 Starting/beginning pay sucks. Get use to it. 4 Resumes are sometimes necessary while other times are not, depending what kind of j...

I am smiling today. I heard the freak at work got a new job at a store I never shop at and his last day is next Thursday. I just realized I won't be here that day. I'll be in another state with my nieces. I will gladly survive without telling the weirdo not to let the door hit him on the way out on his last day. 3 more days of freak and I'm free of him. Post later. Bye!

I examined my paycheck stub today. I saw a story on the news about panhandling in the downtown area. The panhandlers told the reporter that they get $60 to $100 a day for panhandling all day. Looking at my net earnings after taxes, a panhandler makes more than me. Will somebody please explain why I work so hard being on time, neat and tidy, responsible and reliable, staying calm during high stress situations, and fixing problems to earn less than a panhandler who does not pay income taxes. Now I'm depressed. And I thought it felt bad knowing my brother got more pay and benefits from unemployment than I did working 2 part-time jobs with no benefits a couple years ago. It's not fair. Post later. Bye!

Washington D.C. had a scare with a plane invading forbidden airspace emptying the White House and Capitol. Lucky for the men going to an airshow that the air force pilots did not shoot them down. Yet another false alarm. I commend those pilots for thinking before acting. Watching the security officers order everyone out of the capitol saying "This is not a drill" reminded me of the movie Independence Day. Though I do wonder how many false alarms will occur before people start ignoring the crying wolf alarms. Spring in Iowa brings tornados and tornado sirens. Most people continue their shopping, dining, work, or look outside to view the thunderstorm clouds to spot the funnel as the tornado sirens blare on and on. At the airport, security gets the passengers to the basement first before dragging the employees downstairs. The car washers outside clean and drive cars around as if nothing is happening with the sirens ringing in their ears. We native Iowans know tornados sound lik...

And I thought the runaway bride in Georgia was bazaar. Here in Iowa, a wife who claimed to be 9 months pregnant disappeared. She was found at her friend's house after a neighbor tipped off the police after seeing her car in the next county over in Nebraska. The police do not believe this woman was ever pregnant. She claimed she had a miscarriage 3 weeks into the pregnancy, then told all her family and friends that she was pregnant. Most women don't realize they are expecting until about 2 months into the pregnancy. The reason this wife disappeared from her home setting off a massive search for her, was because she wanted to leave the marriage and start a new life. Ma'am, most people file for divorce first. No charges are going to be filed for this because no actual crime was committed. Men. Here are some clues to tell if a woman is really pregnant. My coworker is figuring out the first clue. They are difficult to live with. Another is the 20 to 40 pound weigh gain in their ...

Hello again. Saturday I went to the Tulip Festival in Pella, Iowa. We watched Dutch folk dancers in the park. We had fun shopping. You can buy wooden shoes to fit anyone's feet. The tiles with Holland scenes were amazing. We saw plenty of dispalys of Dutch Heritiage. I read 2 Dutch princesses have visited Pella. There was even a display from the Hmong who came to Pella after the Vietnam War. Wyatt Earp came to live in Pella when he was 2 and left as a teen. His childhood home had a Historical Vilage built around it. It had a large windmill with a long line we did not wish to stand in. We gave my niece her first taste of a root beer float. We saw the parade on a crowded street with no place to sit. It had Dutch characters, bands, baby parade, twin parade, Tulip Queen and her court, floats, and car with the U.S. Rep from Iowa Leonard Boswell. Then when we made it back to our car, my sister lost her keys. After sitting in the grass for an hour and a cop got the door open on his 10th t...

I don't know if something was in the water, but last Friday the fruitcakes were running loose. They did not appear again this weekend, thank goodness. First I come in to work to find out a flasher has been hanging around the past 2 hours. He had on a long brown leather trench coat, when it was very warm outside. Plus he had huge heart-shaped sunglasses, flip flops, and someone saw yellow Joe Boxer shorts with a tie. A flasher in boxer shorts? What a dork. My coworkers were watching this guy's movements as if they were watching a movie. He flashed a group of people getting their luggage and I heard a loud applause. He disappeared after that. A janitor told me later that a cop told him it was not a good idea to be doing that and move along. No more flasher. Next, a car rental agent runs out of the bathroom saying there is a couple having sex in a handicap stall. A coworker went in to investigate and saw the shoes. Security was tipped off. We were watching the cop waiting outside ...

Well my stupid mother wasted a stamp to mail me an internet map from my sister's computer (whom I visit every week) to my niece's dance recital that I could have just as easily gotten off my own internet connected computer. I email this to my other sister. Then I email asking the name of the theater so I enter the correct building. She answers back that the dance recital has changed theaters so toss the map mother mailed me. My sister also says she does not know where the new location is so she can't give me any directions to it. I would like to know how my sister plans on escorting her daughter to her dance recital if she does not know where it is. So on my own I get on mapquest for directions. I have experience with mapquest directions from customers renting cars. Some customers cling to their mapquest printouts as if their lives depend on them. Others hand them to me to double check accuracy. Often, I can give better directions. Sometimes I get confused reading them, lik...

It is the 5th of May. That is a big holiday in Mexico. While USA was busy fighting a Civil War, the French invaded Mexico and placed the Archduke of Austria as King/Emperor of Mexico violating the Monroe Doctrine. Since USA was occupied with its own war, it had no resources to enforce the Doctrine. Soon the Mexicans expelled the French themselves and killed their king. I can't remember what happened to his wife. A calendar I saw Sunday had today labeled as Battle of Puebla (southeast of Mexico City). That must be what Cinco de Mayo is celebrating. The past few years has brought hordes of Mexican immigrants to Iowa so the past year there has been sporadic celebrations of the holiday. I associate Cinco de Mayo with being called a white American bitch for the first time in my life. A lady who I just sold merchandise to asked if I celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I said no. She asked why. I said because I'm not Mexican. She exploded in an array of Spanish. Her friend snapped at me that th...

This week I did not make it to my sister's house to do laundry as usual. She calls after I left 2 messages on her machine to tell me that her husband surprised her with a romantic dinner and they just got back, and she has a headache. Yeah, on a night they expect me to come over he surprises her with a night out to dinner. I smell fish. Since it was 8 at night I said that I would be right over so I get my laundry done. No, she has a headache and wants a quiet night at home tonight. I didn't realize I made so much noise. I ask if she doesn't want me to come over. Yes, she doesn't want me to come over, we want to go to bed soon because they are so tired. Sure, I can do my laundry here. I hate doing laundry at the apartments I live at because half the clothes are still wet when I take them out. I only wish she had brought this up before the laundry mats close. Bitch. Then she asks me about my Monday plans. Nothing happening Mondays. She asks me to babysit a Monday a few we...

It has happened again. My mechanic is jail for driving while barred. I found out from my mother. My mechanic is my second cousin. My mother asked me if his jailtime would set him straight. Um, no. I am guessing since he has not had a driver's license for 15 years according my my Dad's cousin and has been jail before for driving while suspended and drunk drinking, I do not believe he will suddenly see the light to be a reformed sinner. My mother agreed. We just hope our cars do not break down before he gets out. He is a good machanic. He once got so tired of fixing a junk car I had that he told my Dad to take it out into the country and shoot it. Only a honest mechanic would say that. Then tonight I see a program about prison inmates finding love and getting groupies while on trial. How does a murderer sitting on death row find someone to marry them and I can not find a date anywhere? (freak at work does not count) I got my answer. Prisoners are charming and convince their lover...

Recently, a 5 month old puppy was super glued. The puppy's owner placed the puppy in the backyard and later heard the puppy cry. Every time she touched it, it cried. Somehow, the puppy was covered in super glue, fur, eyes glued shut, nostrils glued so it could not breathe, and glue poured into its ears. The news did not say how it was removed from its fur and eyes (surgery), but some glue attached to the ear drum was left in because the vet did not wish to damage the ear drum. Hopefully it will come out naturally. Poor puppy. Now the animal rescue league is offering $500 to find out who did this cruel action upon a helpless puppy. I will pray they find the person. In my opinion, I think it was a child who discovered the glue in a drawer and tested the effect upon an animal. From my experience, adults kill animals they harm with sharp objects, teens throw rocks, kick, and sometimes set the animal on fire when harming animals, and children explore the effects of their actions like pu...

I think Mother Nature is on drugs. We are getting the queerest weather I have ever seen. Ok, here winter is suppose to be cold and snowy and summer is suppose to be hot and humid. Spring and Fall serve as trasistion phases. This year we get spring weather in winter with days so nice one can jog in shorts and a sweatshirt. Winter finally came for a short period of time. Then spring came early despite the Groundhog's prediction with warm and wet weather just right for the flowers and grass. Then our current cool spell with very cloudy skies. The sun is burning somewhere in the universe, right? Fall is here with overnight freezes and snow in the morning. Minnesota got more snow this past week than we did. Did the north pole move? This is suppose to be the beginning of sunny warm weather. Where is it? The tulip festival in Pella likes cooler weather for the tulips so they will not be harmed. It is predicted to warm up at the end of the week. Good news to my ears. Summer might come afte...

Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. I sure got it when I asked my oldest niece if she would like me to download some music for her. She emailed back after a week a list of 12 songs. Of course I bought them at 99 cents a piece (I did tell her the price of the songs) and burned them onto a cd for her. I was not expecting that many requests. I'm listening to her choices as I write this. She did pick a few songs I love. What happened to my baby? She used to listen to country music then worshipped Britney Spears and now she is stepping into my shoes with No Doubt, Queen, and a few rockers I never heard of, but then I am not a teenager. She is turning into ME. It's creepy. Though I never figured out the big deal with Britney Spears. Probably the sexy outfits that attract boys make her so popular. In my opinion, I think she tries to hard to act like Madonna. The problem with using shock to gain attention is that eventually the shock wears off and all there is left is the mu...

Happy May Day to my readers. Here in the middle of nowhere kids make May Day baskets from paper cups and pipe cleaners decorated with markers filled with candy and sometimes popcorn. Kids set the baskets on their friends' doorsteps knock or ring the doorbell and run away. If the receiver catches you, they kiss you. In the kid world, kisses from anyone who is not family is repulsive. The guy from Florida never heard of our May Day tradition, he said it must be a Midwest thing. Adults do not really celebrate May Day like kids do. I miss it. In college, I left candy baskets made from folded notebook paper for my friends. I asked about their baskets later so they knew it was from me. No kisses for me. My Thai roommate was so happy to receive hers. I always included her in my holiday gifts. I thought it rude and insensitive to exclude her just because she was not an American. Apparently, I was her only roommate that did that for her. I know I'm one of a kind. Most people prefer me t...