The Adventures of Being Me

Well, I did it. Had anxiety attacks all weekend finishing my bankruptcy paperwork then the credit counseling, but I turned in my paperwork to the lawyer today. They said they will get to it in a few weeks cause there are people ahead of me, but in a few months when debts are discharged I can start saving money again. Once the bankruptcy gets filed, the credit cards have to stop calling. Won't be able get loans or credit cards right away cause Ch 7 bankruptcy stays on your credit report for 10 years. Hopefully employers doing a credit checks won't think badly of me. Over time I can build up my credit score back to excellent. I visited my therapist and he said I need better coping skills to deal with stress in life. Appliances break, cars get wrecked, and jobs get lost, and happens to everyone. I said I turned in my bankruptcy papers to the lawyer today and roommate is gone so utilities and food cost will go down in the future. He gave me homework to connect with people like s...

Slept half the day since I was up late making beaded keychains and pens. Took photos today. Have to get them out there so people can buy them. Ate some crackers from losing my appetite. I know I'm depressed and walking around in a daze. Waitign for my credit counseling certificate to coem so I can turn in my papers to the bankrupcty lawyer.

Had fun sliding on the ice this morning going home. Braked for a red light and car failed to slow down so it was either hit the truck in front of me or jump the curb and hit a light pole. Light pole survived without damage that I could see. A guy across the street tried to push me out of the snow I was stuck in. He called 2 buddies who came to help push me out of the snow. I waved goodbye and came home. Doing my credit counseling for my bankruptcy filing. It's such a good time reading how to save money. Go to library and borrow movies and books for free, and free internet access. Shop for clothes at thirft stores. Lower your electric bill by turning off lights when not using them. My favorite was my housing should be $525 per month according my in income. Yeah, a studio apartment is $800 in the city. $700 if bad neighborhood. Oh, I should get a roommate to help lower expenses. Oh, OK. I have an unemployed roommate plus his friend living here who does food delivery, and he pays fo...

Well, got all my bankruptcy papers filled out and bills copied for the lawyer. Plan to turn them in tomorrow. People tell me I will feel better once it's over and stop fretting about it. I think I will stop applying for jobs until Valentine's Day. I check the want ads practically every day so I need a break. If I get an interview, of course I will go, just cease applying for a a few weeks. I need to take better care of my self so will focus on that. I got out my Valentine's decorations out and looking at the stuff I made last year nobody would buy. I doubt anyone will buy them this year so just save them for me. I got some beads, beadable pens, beadable keychains, and bracelets so will work on those my days off. If can't sell them then I will give them away on Valentine's Day. I have to keep trying to make more money somehow when employers won't hire me. I researched making epoxy resin jewelry, t-shirt transfers, decorating drink tumblers, and cake mixes in a ...

Roommate wakes me up upset I turned downed the thermostat (it was 80 degrees in here and I'm sweating). When I do that it is cold in the basement where he spends most of his time. I had about 2 hours of sleep so I just grunted. After a couple more hours of sleep, I got up to start looking for dehumidifers that could improve the temperature in the basement. Well found some but they were to expensive or too small to be effective. I came home with groceries from the store sale and roommate wants to talk to me. I apologize about not getting a dehumidifier for him like I messaged him that I would do today and explained I got groceries for us. He said not to worry about that. He was offered a job by car buddy's mom and invited to live in a room in her home. But she lives 2 hours away. Won't tell me what city, but still in the state so not violating his probation. He is taking his clothes, backpack, cat, and few belongings, but will leave some things here he will come back and ...

Did an hour of exercise today. Cooped up in my house, my muscles are getting stiff. Looking forward to spring and walking around local lake again. I told roommate everyone is stressing me out by telling me to kick him out for not helping me out. I don't kick him out cause I understand how hard it is to get a job. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I have looked for a job for a year while working a job and running an online store doing farmer's markets. He is not the mooch people think he is. But as time goes by of him not working, it gets hard to defend why he is still here after a year living here. He told me he filled out a bunch of applications, but nobody gives him an interview. I understand his frustration. He even talked about going to donate plasma again to get money to groceries after I told him the local grocery store is having a sale. Watched ice skating US Championship on TV. Later, went to work and sweated from the furnace working again. I was wearing a ...

Woke up in the afternoon and roommate is all good with car buddy again. Heard car buddy had an interview at a fast food place and they are talking about getting a place together again. Just the other day roommate was looking at coal mining or oil rig jobs out of state when probation over with. He can't make money here. That freaked out car buddy at the prospect of roommate leaving. Then roommate got upset of him being too clingy and needs to keep pushing him away. Oh well, they are happy again. Well, need to exercise now. My therapy session made me realize I'm not taking care of myself. So exercising one day and meditation the next day. Then update my bankruptcy paperwork before work. Roommate made spaghetti. I like mine plain with parmacean cheese so he cooked it with milk and butter. It was very good.

Well roommate and car buddy had another fight. He used roommate's phone for food delivery cause his is offline. Well he changed the password on roommate's phone that upset roommate. Friend bought him a margarita to be forgiven. Well he left and came back drunk and the fight begins. Doing laundry across roommate's room I heard one of them crying but unsure which. Well, friend went to leave saying to me that he threatened his life, but roommate pulled him back from driving drunk. Gets upset when friend bumps into my display case with figurines and a couple fall over. Don't break her things or roommate will kill friend. Both go downstairs again. Roommate comes up later unsure what to do. He wants to throw him out again, but then he demands his gifts back. He just gave roommate his old computer, which now has a broken monitor from their fight last night. Roommate is sad he can't play Minecraft now. I explain that demanding gifts back is not really a gift, it's a loa...

Scratch another interview. I emailed the manager back to set up an interview and they never answered me. What, because I didn't pick up the phone when they felt like calling, I don't get an interview. Managers are so weird sometimes. On a plus I saw 3 doe deer walk down my street tonight.

Yippee! Someone called and emailed wanting to set up an interview. I emailed back I have the next two days off.

Hotel fired one of the shuttle drivers last week for misbehavior and another has been filling in their hours. She is one of those all over the place employees. Helps with breakfast, with Banquet events, tends bar, housekeeper when someone doesn't come in, and fills in as shuttle driver. Now she says she will apply to be the new driver because her Banquet coworkers are calling her a traitor for working in another section. And these people are from another hotel. When the task force manager came he brought employees from his old hotel over to this hotel. And there is a lot of favoritism going on saying screw you to this hotel's employees. She complained events were cancelled from the pipes bursting and went to other hotels, and nobody told her she didn't need to come in to work that night. She is tired of this new manager who doesn't care, except for his inner circle peeps from his old hotel. We will gladly take her. We need a shuttle driver and awesome employee.

Wow, the hotel corporate office is offering an employee only flat rate for hotel rooms from Bahamas to Hawaii. Great, if only I can afford the plane ticket to get there.

Finished shoveling my driveway in 2 hours so I could get out without getting stuck. Then made clothing charity donation, turned in my pop bottles, sold my Vogue magazines for $2 at the bookstore, and picked up groceries. Now the news says 3 inches of snow coming in the afternoon and overnight. I handle 3 inches. Arrived at work and well I missed excitement my days off. Pipe burst in the break room and flooded the back hallway again. Again, fire alarm went off at 10PM from leaky pipe. Then another day a pipe burst over the accounting office so accountant had to move to a HR office. But on a plus, the lobby isn't freezing. Though had a couple people complain about brown water coming out of their faucet and low water pressure.

My adventure last night at work was security found a kitchen staff member sleeping the Executive Chef office and I had to check who it was. He sat in the chair in the dark cold room (furnance is broken so whole hotel is cold at 62 degree) and asked if there was a problem. Yeah, it's 2 AM and you are off the clock sleeping in an office chair like a homeless person. I asked he couldn't get home tonight cause I can get him a room. Walked him to the front desk and had him sign for the employee room due to weather. I was in the middle of my audit so couldn't check him in yet but made a key and sent him on his way. Make it home and run through the hard snow so I don't get stuck. Hooray! Wake up later to roommate and car buddy going out to a store. They celebrated his birthday yesterday here and car buddy never left. They come back and I go back to sleep. I finally get myself out of bed in the middle of the afternoon. Roommate is drunk out of his mind with bloodshot eyes. C...

OMG, it's so cold outside. Shoveled for an hour yesterday after waking up and then come in to get warm. Go back outside and 5 minutes later I'm frozen. Got half the snow behind the car so should get out to go to work. Roommate came home around 10 PM. Good thing cause I was sleeping on the couch and had to get ready for work. He wanted booty, but I had to get ready for work in 20 minutes. At least he helped everytime I got stuck in the driveway cause only half shoveled. I sleep all day and so cold outisde I can't get it finished. Arrive to work and furnace is broken. Lobby has rented heaters blowing hot air, but employee back hall is freezing. Tried to use pop machine in breakroom and sludge comes out. Ok, drink water. Chef tells me pop is frozen from broken furnace and soon frozen pipe is going to burst. Get my pop from the bar. 1 hour later, fire alarm goes off from a leaking pipe. Luckily engineer hasn't left cause he was waiting for shuttle driver to take him to...

Had a nightmare getting to work. Garage door is manual so have to park in driveway to shut the door. Got stuck so called in saying I can't leave my driveway and have to shovel to put car back in garage. Realized I shifted into neutral so once in drive, eventually got car back in garage. But garage door gear is frozen and won't turn. Front door lock wouldn't accept key so went to back door in knee deep snow, kicked in the gate latch that was frozen and struggled to open back door lock. Garage door opened, I got the car in scratching my front fender struggling to steer. Once got traction from garage, I was able to gun it through the snow and far enough from door to move forward. Shut the door, got out of driveway, and got stuck on a side street. Reversed enough downhill to get traction to move uphill and to a main street that was plowed. Once on main street, I was fine and got to work 18 minutes late complete with anxiety attack. Which means it took me 45 min minutes to get t...

Wasn't snowing when I left for work but was fully coming down when I left. 4 housekeepers called in. Shuttle driver ready to find a new job. Half a dozen employees stayed over in the hotel. Only half full so plenty of room. Strange how we are half full when Caucus Night is Monday. Drive home wasn't bad until reached unplowed residential streets (why can't they plow residential streets before the snow stops). Managed to turn into the driveway and park in the garage just fine. Snow reached my ankles so no big deal. I drive a SUV that is wonderful in this snow. Would be more wonderful if it wasn't 2 wheel drive. Go to leave for work and snow has doubled. 8.9 inches total. Not as bad with fluffy snow that easily blows around. Shoveled for an hour before it got too cold and had to stop.

Spent 3 hours shoveling the rest of my driveway. Now another storm is coming tomorrow.

We got a total of 10.9 inches of snow. It reached over my snow boots. I shoveled 2 hours before the sun went and it got too cold to do anymore. Finish tomorrow. Neighbor was plowing the street since it take 24 hours after the snow stops to plow my dead end street. He works for the electric company and needs out. They said they started plowing the residence streets today at 3PM. Nice. News said the malls were closed. I worked in 2 malls and they never close cause when schools and offices close, people go shopping. Manager always refused to close the store if we had 1 customer in the store. We closed when 0 customers appeared within 2 hours, then they closed. One store I worked at complained I was late making me retort that I skidded 3 times getting here and lucky I showed up at all. Grocery stores was busy today. They say stay at home, but some people like me working at a hotel don't get that option. When worked at a car rental, no weather closed us down and I once was picked up ...

Snowstorm started this afternoon. Roommate is still stuck in Tennessee. I have the next two days off and just bought groceries so just sitting at home doing laundry. At rowk I told my coworker who will take my plaxce tonight about the pending snowstorm. He sais he used to live in Minnesota so it was child's play here.

I haven't seen my roommate's cat around since he left for Tennessee a couple days ago. I look around for her and wondered if she got trapped in my roommate's room with the door shut. Open the door and hear meowing. Good, I found her. Yeah, found her locked in a carrier. I let her out and she was hungry and then pooped in the litterbox. Messaged roommate stuck in Tennesse cause they ran out of money and need to earn some more to get back home. Sigh. He replied he put the cat in the carrier as punishment for eating out of my cat's food dish since cats are territory about their food bowls. Then he left with his friends and forgot about it. I messaged back that he needs to tell me when he does things like this so I can her out to eat and pee. I'm sure the cat bed in the carrier is soaked in urine. That poor cat.

Had a fight with roommate the other night. He went on jabbering while high from a vaping cartridge how he is a psychopath, then sociopath, biploar, and has tourettes. I'm like, Let me add up all these disorders you say you have: Anxiety and Depression, ADHD, and now psychopath or sociopath, tourettes, and bipolar. Have you actually been diagnosed by an actually psychitrist having these disorders. Ok, sociopath or psychopath was a self-diagnosing. I once said there is nothing wrong with him, his problem is being surrounded by manipulators. Then I toss in that he is an addictive personality who deals with his emotions using sex, tobacco ciagrattes, alcohol, and drugs. He argues he is not an addict, he just takes any drug given to him by his friends, gets high every day until he runs out of marijuana, and needs a pick my up to do a job interview or go to work at a job with a difficult manager. Oh, but he's not addict? He told me he gave up meth and then told me later when his frie...

New Year's Eve was good. Came home from work and slept until the afternoon. Made it the Extended Family Christmas celebration at my brother's house. Sister-in-law wore a hat from chemo treatments. Why doesn't she get get a wig? She wears it over her forehead so can't tell her eyebrows are missing. Fake eyelashes and a brow pencil can resolve that. To each their own. Within an hour everyone left so I was last to leave. I guess nobody wanted dinner leftovers after a big lunch. Then spent a few hours with roommate playing video games while Iread my emails. Went to work and heard screaming at midnight. Had a cop working there who told everyone to taje partying upstairs so didn't deal with much. Told the cop that security doesn't deal with drunk people very well. Drunk guests will get confrontational and ready to throw them out the window. Sometimes I have to defuse the situation. I have the power to kick people out so drunk guests treat me differently. I took the ...