The Adventures of Being Me

Shoe rack on door breaks, shoes drop to floor, Precious investigates, wind through window shuts door, trapped Precious meows, I tell him to shush thinking he wants a walk, realize P is trapped when tired of his meowing, and open door. How was your morning? Have new cat door in my balcony screen door (large tear in a corner) the cats also discovered and eventually walked through it. They want those birds.

The wedding of the century is upon us, until Prince Harry's wedding. I will be recording the celebration since I refuse to get up at 3 AM to watch it on TV and not crazy enough to sleep in a tent along the parade route in London (and I'm broke). And so for a wedding gift, I write this poem. If I were to write a poem For your big wedding day I would use silly words and try to make it rhyme. If I were to write a poem For your dream come true I would say congratulations and have a joyous time. If I were to write a poem For your big wedding day I would wish I could be there but natural forces pulled us apart. If I were to write a poem for Will and Kate I would give them a big hug from the bottom of my heart. If I were to write a poem on your big wedding day I would toast the love birds and present you the only copy. Not bad for a 1st rough draft I think.

Picked up Mom since she refuses to drive in the big city she moved into unless she has to, like a doctor's appointment. Arrive at sister's house and they just finished getting dinner ready. Niece is eager to eat the bunny cake I brought, but too full to eat her dinner. Sister says, if has room for cake, then she has room for corn. Finish our food and time for the kids to take a nap. Sister goes downstairs to start laundry and kids leave their beds to start banging the doors repeating. I assume sister couldn't hear them so ordered kids to bed. Sister returns to chat with Mom and me. Conversation was listening to sister complain about her job and unrealistic expectations of school administrators/government have. Mom and I just sat in silence and nodded in agreement. Mom asked a few questions to clarify her position. Kids napped for an hour before coming back out. Then we watched a movies. Asked Mom when she intended on leaving. She wanted to stay for supper. OK. After...

Babysat niece and nephew so sister could get work done 2 days in a row. 1st day colored Easter eggs. Nephew asked why his mommy cooked the eggs. Beisdes the danger of the eggs breaking, we don't eat raw eggs. They taste better cooked. I added too much water so we got our fingers stained. Next we had a movie marathon until my sister came home to put the kids to bed. Nephew doesn't like watching anything new, but I make him watch new stuff. If he doesn't like it, then he play with his toys. Niece had to lay on the floor while nephew was playing golf (which he calls hockey). Niece complained that she got hit with the ball and nephew complain to get out of his way. I grabbed the ball, tossed further down the room and told nephew problem was solved. 2nd day, I didn't want to cook so picked up greasy chicken. I commented if the babysitter's dog could smell the greasy chicken on me. Babysitter asked if I just got off work. No, I said, I bought it. Kids loved the chicken....

Another busy day and for 2 hours by myself so lost customers to the other registers when people got tired of waiting. Back up checkers had difficulty coming over to help so learned to annoy w/repeated SOS PA's until a manager ordered someone to help me. Whatever it takes. After a while, I noticed a manager walking by right after my SOS pages. Yeah, I got enough customers to block the aisle so I can't easily tell who's shopping and who's in line. Pointed out an abandoned cart to a manager. Hopefully nothing was stolen, it looked like clothes in it.  Plus had to wait half hour for a teenage coworker to show up. He asked me "Aren't you suppose to be gone?" I said, " Waiting for you." Then after grocery shopping, come home to find a message from sister stating I forgot to pick niece and nephew. Too late to get them now. Have to call when she gets home, she didn't answer her cell.

Boy was it busy at work today. Even better, we have a shortage of workers. The guy who always splits when I work with him b/c can't handle being bored for 2 minutes (he usually works with merchandise but they like people who can work the registers as back up), was by himself his whole shift b/c his coworker called in sick. A manager had to give him his breaks.  Then when I call for back up on my register side, I get the girl who can't work a register and always wants to bag my customers. I got 10 people in line, I don't need a bagger I need someone to check people out. Manager eventually tells her to get on a register and she keeps asking me questions. The only way she will get comfortable on a register is to get on one. Next, manager tells me to go on my break and I see the terror in this poor girl's eyes. I heard on the PA the call for back up. I swear the lines never ended (and I worked a 9 hour shift). I commented "Is this Saturday, and not Monday? More cow...

Sister calls me up stating this a social call, just to see how I am doing. That's a first, so wait for her to get around why she "really" is calling. My family does not make "social" phone calls, they only call when want something. Though I think Mom and sister are attempting to appear they are not just using me as usual. Perhaps they feel guilty when I ask "What do want?" early in our conversations. So we chat on how she would like me babysit all my days off for the next 6 weeks cause she feels she is burdening her babysitter for staying at work longer than normal (yes, teachers work after your kids go home). She used to bring the kids to her school on Saturdays, but nephew can't behave so can't do that anymore. OK, so I'm not allowed a day off cause she can burden me with all her demands. I ask about Mom babysitting (does she not enjoy her grandchildren). Mom doesn't want to drive around the city if she doesn't have to, she rath...

This poem I wrote for my book The Mermaid Wars. It is about a wife missing her fisherman husband. When I read it, it befits remembering my deceaed father who died 2 years ago. I dance to no music because the song is in my heart It whispers a faint melody over mountains and streams I sing to no music because it plays through the trees Floating in the breeze in the forest of dreams I tap a beat to create a sweet symphony To soar over the sea enchanting every sun ray I hum without rhythm because it echoes in my soul It rides upon feathers and the stars guiding the way I pray for hope, for warmth, for light And all the reasons we alone bide the cold night

Aaaah. Warm, soft cat bed to nap in. I know that's what my cats say about my lap. Spent an uneventful work day racking my brain with a manager over repeat returners and how they are profitting from buying and returning constantly. I think the coupons in the paper and mail have something to do with it, but they don't get money back unless they paid in cash. Still turning the gears in my head. Another day I oversleep b/c I turned my alarm off after hitting the snooze, then when I thought I had to leave I realize I don't leave for another hour, and then cooking an egg I turn on the wrong burner. So much for waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Next day we had a contest for credit applications at my store w/prize of Barbie kitchen or desk. Gal w/out granddaughters tried her best to win it from 2 other gals who had little daughters trying hard to win, just to upset them. But she had to go on break before hitting the mark to win so gal w/ little daughter won. Com...

Went over to sister's house to attend music concert at niece and nephew's school. Sister was running late and phoned the house asking to pick up the children. Hop over and nephew thinks we are going to my apartment. No, we have a concert to go to. Return to give niece a bath. I make her place her hand in the water to approve temperature (I dislike the It's too hot and It's too cold complaint). Squeeze in the bubble bath and nephew wants to watch niece take her bath. No. Shut the door since niece can handle undressing and playing in the tub by herself as I inform her that her mommy will come home soon. Nephew has nothing to do. Go play with a toy I instruct. We are not starting any TV shows or movies when we need to get ready for the concert soon. Sister comes home and nephew tells her that there is no water in the bathtub and niece is not taking her bath. Sister storms in a rage calling my niece and runs into me in the living room. What are you talking about, I ask...

This month's Oprah's Magazine is about poetry. Most people who manage to read my poems hate them b/c they are so sad. Most poems that are written tend not to be happy: The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe, The Jabberwacky in Alice in the Looking Glass, Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost. So here is a sample of my sad poems written in Winter 1997. Where Is My Angel My best friend gone for eternity What will become of me Who will hold my hand When I can no longer stand Where is my angel to hold me tight How will I get through each night My cries, no one hears And nobody sees my tears Where is my angel mama promised me I need one now can't you see Where is my angel for bad and for worse I'm a shaky boat on an unknown course Where is my angel before it's too late How much longer must I wait A hug good-bye is not enough Moving on is very tough Where is my angel to wipe away every tear My angel is far from here