The Adventures of Being Me

I started typing my new novel onto forsuzanne.blogspot.com. I hope you enjoy it. Post later. Bye!

I have decided to rest my head from my fairytale and start writing a more modern story. I got stumped with writer's block while beginning my sequel and editing the first novel. I also decided to place this new book on the internet and see what happens there. Post later. Bye!

I have been volunteering for a month now and wonder if I made a mistake. Then again, it could be just because I'm new at it. I need to learn to be less helpful since new people get in the way and do things wrong. I did get an adventure trying to shut the windows as requested. You have to pull in metal stoppers in the window frame and then push it down. Humidity making the wood swell and trying to keep both stoppers pulled in at the same time made it a bit difficult. I am getting accomplished in the ball and cup game that the people I work with commented today I need to learn a craft. I'm sure they can tell I'm getting bored just sitting there while the assistant supervisor and intern work with the day camp kids. I challenged myself by flipping the ball into the tiny cup game with my left hand when the right hand got tired. My left hand is less agile, but I got the ball in the cup. It probably would help if I had interesting stories to talk about. I can't compete with t...

Today I took my 10-year-old niece (#3 out of 4 nieces) to the New Science Center on a new street not found on any map. The the parking garage was nightmare from being so cramped and tiny spaces to park in. Then the instructions and prices were confusing for paying for parking that I didn't pay because I couldn't figure out the desk one is suppose to pay at. The machine took the ticket at the exit and let me leave. The new science center is just like the old one only bigger. It contains the only IMAX theater in Des Moines that plays NASCAR and trip under the sea. When we went through the downtown area, she asked if we in Omaha. No sweetie, I explained, that is 2 hours away. Some exhibits had possessive kids guarding what was done at the exhibit and my niece learned to be more agressive if she wanted a turn at it. One exhibit she really liked was a fountain where one stacks sand bags to dam the fountain, and then watch the build up and water rush when the sandbags are removed qui...

I read an article how a group of US Congress people toured the prison in Guatomano Bay and felt it was not as bad as reported. One harsh female critic was humbled admitting they are do a fine job at prison. I noticed the tour group did not speak to any prisoners nor eat with them. They watched a controlled interrogation that extracted no information from the prisoner and watched a soccer game between inmates from a distance. Did these lawmakers actually believe prisoner abuse would occur in front of them? Hello? I think the tour was very nice performance of b.s. I call it the Manager Effect. Manager Effect is from my experience: When someone in authority is present watching everyone do their job, all my coworkers behave themselves, do their job, sweet to customers and coworkers, and cause no problems. The second the manager goes on vacation or goes home, suddenly I'm doing 99% of the work because I am flawed with a responsible attitude while my coworkers sit in a corner doing cross...

I was planning to work on my story on my days off this week, but no, my niece is coming. It is kinda nice to know more than 2 days in advance that she's coming. I guess my sister still doesn't know how to use her email after sending me pictures off the internet. Of course, My Mom refuses to take my niece anywhere that does not include a doctor's appointment or 5 shopping stops. So again this year I have to drive all the way to my parents 1 hour away, ask my niece where she wants to go because Mom can never think to ask her, and make a plan for the day in 15 seconds that meets Mom's approval, cash a check, drive to where she wants to do, and drive her back to my parents' house before her bedtime. I hate my family today. Mom still thinks I can ask whatever day I want off at the last second. Um, no, that is not how it works. Post later on what my niece picks out. Bye!

Today I receive a call wanting to rent a car for someone stranded on a highway. After listening for a minute to his sob story, I get a chance to tell him I have no cars available. He wants to be transferred to a car rental who can help him out. Um, no, can't do that. He is miffed and shouts that I'm being real helpful. I showed bad manners by hanging up him. My boss does not pay me enough to listen to people talk shit to me. Post later. Bye!

I read in the free newspaper laying here to find an item about 260 geese in the park north to the airport being captured to feed the poor (Grandma said goose meat is very fatty), 500 goose eggs were covered in vegetable oil to kill the hatchlings, and 26 young geese who have yet to learn to fly were dropped off at another lake many miles away all in order for airplane safety. Geese cause plane crashes. They estimated there were 1000 geese in the park and up to 8000 can make a stop when migrations occur. The city council meeting about the geese problem was full of emotion (much like when they killed the beavers years ago) and people deeply troubled over killling these animals. Other complaints came from other parts of Iowa lacking geese to hunt for sport. Gee, why would a goose avoid those areas? Of course they have tried other solutions. They transported a bunch of geese to watch them fly back. Controlling mother nature and bird instincts is easier said than done. State biologists are ...

My poor baby niece has been sick this week with blisters at the back of her throat, crying all the time. Then, they notice she is not holding her arm right. X-rays reveal broken arm, in 2 places. Poor parents dealing with more trauma. She has splint on and it will be decided later if a cast is needed. My Mom called me today to tell me. My sister must be too busy to email how she broke it. Mom was unsure on the how, just that she was very fussy. I sent my sister an email asking if she is keeping her sanity from all this stress. Post later. Bye!

I had a phone call yesterday from a customer service agent giving me a customer's reservation number, if that makes it easisest for me to look them up she says. Actually, it helps to know the question first before looking up a person's reservation number. I ask if they just need directions to the airport. No ma'am, she says, they want to extend their rental and need our authorization to modify it. Authorization to extend a rental? That is a new one. I am used to getting authorization for an extension from the credit card company. Anyway, I prefer the contract number of the rental instead of the reservation number. Well, the customer on the other line hung up so she apologized for distrubing me. Whatever. I thought it strange because the customer service number is not given to customers until they return the car and it appears on their receipt. Post later.

I brought to work a magazine a bought, looked at, and decided to toss. I glanced over the magazine again because I was bored. I cut out Orlando Bloom's photo to be the new addition to my celebrity wall. I tape celeb photos looking their best on a spot on my bedroom wall, much like my teen nieces. Unlike a teen, I am quite picky what I tape up. I once had Julia Roberts in a red dress, but it got wet and turned yellow. I have yet to find a great photo of Julia to tape up again. Magazines keep publishing drab photos of her. Come on Julia Roberts, get back in the limelight so I have a spectacular photo of you to tape on my wall. Post later. Bye!

My parents celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary yesterday. I called them at work to wish them a Happy Anniversary and ask if my present arrived yet. I ordered a word search puzzle with family names and wedding objects for their gift. I called them so they would know when to expect it. My Mom said they never got my gift in the mail. I spoiled the surprise by telling her what to look for in the mail. Mom called today to say they did get my gift puzzle 2 weeks ago. They just couldn't figure out where it came from. I guess the company forgot the gift tag. Mom was expecting something else. So Mom assured me they got my gift and put it in a better place. At least they didn't throw it away. My parents. Post later.

An update on my Nice Friend entry is that the guy has two broken ribs from being hit by the police cruiser. My coworker explained he was running from the police because he didn't want his mother to know he didn't have a license. She knows more now. Apparently, he was so drunk to believe he could outrun the police. We can tell my coworker's friend smoke too many drugs when he thinks he can skip the country to avoid going to jail. Yeah, sure, I don't believe this idiot is going to be a model citizen in another country and not get extradited back to the U.S. Everybody at work is laughing at this guy, even my coworker he is friends with. He also made into the paper and the news. That must have been some chase. Post later. Bye!

My coworker told me today that one of his friends was involved in a high speed chase. The guy doesn't have a license and was drunk. To catch this guy, the police rammed his truck and placed a spike strip out on the road. Then when the car died, he jumped out and ran for it to be hit with the police cruiser and handcuffed. His mama bailed him out the next morning for $12,000 in cash. Yikes. I don't think maxing out all my credit cards or selling my car would equal that much money. I told my coworker he has a nice friend. Post later. Bye!

I called my sister before coming over to do laundry. Baby is very sick with blisters at back of her throat. Poor baby. I decided to do laundry at my apartment. Poor kitties won't get their weekly petting from me this week. Post later. Bye!

The video of the 4 college boys lighting possums on fire was refused by website (owner said it was too graphic and poor taste) they sent it to and website screeners contacted others whereas the video eventually got to the police who arrested them. Post later. Bye!

To correct a few things on my Worst Case of Animal Cruelity. There were 4 college boys 18-19 arrested for the videotape of wild animals they captured in the woods (5-7), dousing them with lighter fluid (still only part shown on the news), and setting them on fire. The boys either showed it on a home video website or it was refused by the website because it disturbed them, the video ended up somehow in the hands of PETA, who notified the local Iowa police. I wonder if something like this would make the National News. Maybe not, too disturbing. Post later.

The news broadcasted The Worst Case of Animal Cruelty in Iowa so bad they only showed the lighter fluid poured on a opposum and explained it was set on fire with the college boys cheering and laughing. Poor possum and the 5 other wild animals they set on fire. The college boys are in jail now. The news explained the police found out because PETA (animal rights group) found the video of it on the internet. Proof that teen criminals are not smart. The director of an animal shelter expressed disgust and fear of what these boys could do for kicks with human victims. I find it amazing these teen college boys could only be in jail for 5 years, if they serve their complete sentence, before being released for this felony of animal torture. I hope they don't move in next to me. My coworker once was engaged to a man who staple gunned and stabbed a cat, then violated his parole by hitting her and went back to jail. I never met him in person and did not wish to. People who torture animals are ...

I went to my volunteer museum position yesterday. It was so hot we sat on the porch. One lady is full of stories as she knits a sweater for her grandson. One story was going to the prom in the 1950's with the old fashioned garter belts holding up her nylons. She came downstairs in a vision of beauty floating in her black dress to have her garter belt break and stockings fall down revealing her fish white legs. She said it was good she did not deeply care about her date because he was horrified. Another was from her daycare providing daughter. A mother picking up her son seemed upset and the daughter asked what was wrong. She said she didn't have time to get her son's hair cut. The daughter volunteers to cut the kid's hair, which made the mother so happy. So this mother tells her son about the arrangement. He is unsure of this barber. The mother assures him that this woman has cut her husband's hair for years, who is bald, and the kid starts bawling. The amazing stor...

I just wanted a recipe for oatmeal cookies. I find gourmet recipes with sour milk, applesauce, coconut, bananas, molasses, rolled oats, oats soaked in milk for ten minutes, and various spices. I just wanted plain, ordinary oatmeal cookies. I have get a recipe from my sister. She has the best sugar cookie recipe I ever tasted. Maybe she has one for oatmeal. Post later.

I went to the grocery store and came home to watch a ballet with a bowl of watermelon. I had no idea what is was about, but enjoyed watching the delicate movements. Later, I realized it was Swan Lake. It is a shame Congress desires to destroy Public TV by withdrawing funds because it doesn't carry ultra-conservative values and don't support the war on terror, or something like that. I would like to know where else one can find New York ballets, Des Moines Metro operas, Boston Pops symphonies with 4th of July fireworks, and children's programs that are sex-free, cuss-free, and adult themed-free. Public TV is the only commercial-free viewing available in the country. I guess congress has decided the public is no longer entitled to have programs determined by the public instead of profit-driven companies. That's OK, I'm getting use to rights, comforts, privaledges, and anything taken for granted removed from my life. I only ask what will be taken away next, my right t...

I watched The Notebook special features for the 5th time. It said the best selling book was written by a first time author whose agent showed 25 book publishers before Time Warner offered a million dollars for it. I can handle and cope being rejected 25 times or more to get the trophy of selling the publishing rights to my novel. I am expecting much rejection. The question is can my Dad, my Mom, my siblings, my nieces, my friends, and my coworkers handle my novel being rejected 25 times without ripping my confidence to shreds and destroying my optimism to the point I give up before gaining the trophy. I have rewritten my prologue and continue my revisions. Post later.

I have been looking at catalogs with ring collections labeled genuine gems along with a warning a natural color variations. I am positive these are really genuine plastic. A ring costing $16.98 or $30.98 is not genuine gem, you are paying $30 for the sterling silver. I caution people with the belief they are getting real bargin just because it is labeled genuine. Post later. Bye!

I worked on crossword puzzles for so long that I got a hand cramp. It hurt too. Post later.

I forgot it was Father's Day until I saw it on my cell phone calendar. I received an email from former college roommate who made breakfast and did all sorts of activites with her father for the holiday. My Daddy received a card in the mail last week. He is too hard to shop for. Anything he wants he buys so there is nothing left for us to give him. Then for awhile we tried gift certificates. It takes him anywhere from 6 months to 3 years to use one. My sister tried to explain once that the point of a gift card is to spend it. My siblings and I also have trained our parents not to expect much. Post later. Bye!

I got my new copy of the Oprah Magazine about spending time alone. The message I got from it is loving yourself enough to take care of your own needs instead of depending on others to fulfill your needs. Being able to have strength to say, Excuse me, but I need time for myself too, is good for the soul. I believe resilence and positive self-image root from knowing we are loved. I do not mean being told we are loved, but knowing it without asking. Staying still and alone reconnects yourself to your soul we often forget about exists inside your body. I had to explain death a my child niece when my Grandpa died. What did the preacher mean Great-Grandpa is in heaven, we just buried him in the cemetery? she asks. I explain the soul as the ghost that lives in your body and leaves it when we die. She understood a ghost. Our dreams, desires, and goals in life are the soul speaking to us, if we are listening. I spend most of my time alone. I hear coworkers joke it's the antisocial ones you...

I must be the only one at work who kills tiny bugs with my hand, I use my shoe for larger bugs. I killed a tiny spider I pulled out of my bag after grabbing my cold Mountain Dew. I wiped the bug on my pants. Saturday is the day of strange phone calls. We get people asking if we are closed and today my coworker was asked if all the car rentals at the airport are closed. I would not be answering the phone if I was closed. Then we get the same people calling twice asking the exact same question. We have a location in a suburb that transfers their calls to us when they are closed. Most of the weekend it is closed. Then we get calls asking if they must have a credit card to rent a car (we know they spoke to somebody to be asking this question). We say yes, they must have a credit card to rent the car. They ask if we do cash rentals. Um, no, they must have a credit card to authorize the amount of the car rental upfront and no one at the airport will take cash upfront. Only when we get the ca...

A friend of my coworker called to say the electricity went out in the conveinence store she works at, no ATM, no coffee maker, no hot dog oven working. Electrician comes out to inquiry about the problem. The culprit was the dead squirrel sprawled on the ground on its back with its private parts blowed off. The squirrel chewed on wires near a transformer. Post later.

I guess the new guy at the car rental next door quit. That was fast. As I say my nightly good-bye to all the car rentals I asked the owner's wife if I scared the guy off by being too forward. Oh no, she says, he probably couldn't handle all the people around when he is used to working by himself. Once the owner's daughter said they get good pay with lousy commission, which probably explains why they are so willing to give away cars for next to nothing to get the commission. I'm suprised more people are not applying. My car rental gets good commission so we are less agressive and willing to let customers to shop around. We do that because the cheap car rentals run out of cars faster so the customer gets stuck paying our higher prices, plus we are open longer too. Sometimes customers do come back telling me I'm the cheapest. Music to my ears. Post later.

Today I was reviewing last week's emails at work before deleting them and the people I work with look over my shoulder observing the screen. OK, is that insecurity or curiosity? My work emails are boring, mostly about customer problems and interesting questions I get asked. It would be really stupid to complain about a boss on an email address owned by the company. My manager agreed on that. Once a company who reads our company emails complained about chain letters being sent through our work email, it is for office use only the email complaint said. My manager had to send an email to an ex-coworker asking her to stop sending chain letters. Sometimes I vent frustrations about coworkers, but I never open those when that coworker is present because people look over my shoulder. Besides that, if I can't complain to their face what they did wrong then I should not be whining in an email about it to my manager. Most people figure out when I'm rolling my eyes or scoffing that the...

I saw a cute T-shirt in a catalog and had to share it. A kitten says to a rabbit "You are a strange-looking dog".

The people who have been demanding the death penalty for people who rape a and murder children only got a tougher sex offender law today, without the death penalty bit. First offense is 10 years in prison. Those who refuse treatment must serve their full sentence. Second offense is life in prison without parole. I call that tough. The newsreporter questioned how is Iowa going to pay in order to keep these people in jail the rest of their long lives. Making laws to please the public is one thing, enforcement is other. I know some people favor death penalty for all sorts of crimes so the criminal can't repeat their crime. I would like those people to visit Tombstone, Arizona and observe the graveyard. I noticed in my grandparents' pictures that there are REAL graves with signs saying "Hung by Mistake". One such grave had the name George Johnson. I am glad I do not live in a world of lynch mobs who hang accused people in fits of rage, then decide later "Oopsy, maybe...

How many times does it take someone calling the same number, receiving the same answering machine message, to realize they have the wrong number? Apparently 5.

I saw the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith after hearing the Jackson verdict. I nearly got into another accident when a suv zoomed through a stop sign at the mall. Lucky for me I had room to completely stop and the 3 cars behind me did not hit me. I got pop and popcorn this time. Which means I had to use the restroom during the movie. I left after they kidnap the prisoner and came back as they entered a store so I don't know what happened to the guy they kidnapped. I loved the movie. I saw Brad Pitt without his shirt, twice. I am satisfied. My favorite part was Brad's last words in the elevator "New curtains are hideous". The gun battle was exciting too with few funny words. I highly recommend it. Post later. Bye!

I am so happy Michael Jackson was found Not Guilty on all charges. I think congratulations would be the wrong word here. I only hope he does not stop loving children with cancer because of all this. I feel for him. Post later. Bye!

I hear many say one should never wear socks with sandals. Then I hear someone say it is alright, after all retailers have sandal nylons. Also, I think the taboo of wearing white shoes in winter has gone out the window the past few years when I see many women in white sneakers or white dress shoes. Maybe this taboo is evaporating to the way of 6-player girls basketball. A female coworker jumped all a male coworker for wearing socks with his new sandals. Of course nobody notices my sandals with socks displayed. I even had my janitor friend tell me his wife always said no socks with sandals. Well, as Julia Roberts said in Erin Brockovich, I will wear what I like. I have do objections to having bare feet in air conditioned buildings, my feet easily get cold. So at home or when outdoors a lot do I wear my bare feet sandals that are quite dirty. Post later. Bye!

Hello again. I read a question in a magazine about a wife who felt slighted with real estate agents, mortage lenders, etc. while shopping for a house. She felt these mostly men agents and lenders were biased and favored talking and shaking hands with her husband, ignoring her. The advice given was to be more assertive when ignored. According to a female coworker, mortage lenders and people giving an estimate for siding demanded to speak to her husband. She was deeply insulted and told them off clarifying her husband will be agreeing with anything she says. One agent would ask a question and after my coworker's answer, he would look at her husband and ask if that is what he thought. She was getting so angry she blurted out how this conversation would be going much faster if the man would just ask her the questions. Her husband agreed. The guy who did the estimate for siding on the house demanded to speak to her husband since it was his house too. That did not sit well with her. She ...

Hello again. A former employee stopped by the counter on his way to Las Vegas. We finally met the wife who made goodies around the holidays. She was pretty too, for an elderly woman with colored blonde hair. His wife was an avid baker apparently. If he brought a dozen, he said there was 5 dozen at home. Some of us wondered why she would bake goodies for strangers she never met, others just ate. I liked her Christmas cookies. At another job, a wife would buy stuff for her husband's coworkers. I questioned once if she did all these nice things to make up for her husband's annoying behavior. Nobody liked that coworker. It is one thing to gift to people one knows, another to strangers one has no contact with. Motives get questioned under the second scenario. I make holiday cards and often include pencils for their young kids if I have plenty of extra. I never gift to spouses. Why?, they don't know me. Kids love anything given to them. Post later. Bye!

My janitor friend brought by an article he printed off the internet about another culture's norms on love and marriage. I asked "What is this? Why do you think I care about marriage in another country? Are trying to depress me because I'm single?" He said he'll come back when I am in a better mood, leaving the literature behind. He comes back and I hand back the literature. We go a few rounds of I don't want to read the paper. The first 2 paragraphs were enough. I get busy and he gives it to my coworker. She reads through it and eventually Iread it because I'm bored. It offended my femnist principles. Yes I am fully aware other cultures vastly differ from my own, but that does not mean I have to agree or understand it. I also know cultures change over time. Post later. Bye!

There is a new guy at the airport who is replacing the freak with the obsession of walking me to my car. Last weekend, he kept calling my name when I was on the phone with customer and after hanging up I yelled out "What the f*** do you want!" I heard later he was mad at me for speaking to him that way. He had to tell me that a car rental gal next door was offering a date with me in exchange for getting a discount at his new job for her, and wanted my opinion of that. I rolled my eyes and said Whatever. At least I amused the gal next door and my coworker for a saying a bad word, and in anger. My gal friend had to repeat what I said trying to sound like me. Anyway, I got off the track of my introduction to the new guy. I asked the car rental guy next door if he spoke to him. He had not. I asked he was rude or antisocial. He just never bothered to say hello. I went right up to the counter and introduced myself, I think I said my name twice from being nervous. I asked his name a...

"We have a piece of shit car from you" were the exact words I heard after my usual May I help you riff. "Excuse me, what kind of car do you have?" I ask. " A piece of shit car" he explains. "And I want you to drive me out another car right now. The trunk is broken." Stroked the wrong way already, I page my coworker who handles jerks much better than me after I put him on hold. Tell my coworker what the man said and she answers. In the lengthy conversation, she threatens to hang up on him if he continues speaking to her that way and he can take his issue to the city who rented to his girlfriend. Then I hear her ask him what exactly would he like her to do, he is just going to have to wait for a tow truck to bring his girlfriend another car. Finally she gets his cell phone # to call him back so he knows when to expect the tow truck. What ticked her off is him saying that the car is our responsible from now on because the broken trunk latch allows p...

I saw an article declaring that All State Insurance did a study of accidents to name Cedar Rapids, Iowa as #1 of Safe Drivers and Des Moines, Iowa as #2. The opinion columnist said the reason we are safe drivers in Des Moines is because we brake for jerks who cut us off. We also pause when the green light allows us to go because we are sure someone will run the red light on the other side. He said the study ignored the fact that 1 in 8 drivers do not use their turning signals. Plus one can not hit much during traffic jams when one is moving 8 mph. I agree with the columist. Many people drive with the philosophy of "Please don't hit me" where I live and are not in hurry so few have road rage. We like to get to our destination in one piece. Jerks can get pulled over by the police. Post later. Bye!

Today I visited my chiropracter to find a speed trap on a piece of highway where someone was killed a while ago. I saw 2 police cars pull over cars and another waiting to pull someone over, therefore I call it a speed trap. I viewed the flowers where the person died. He was pulling into a car dealership where he worked and was T-boned by another car ripping his jeep in half. He died instantly. The other went to the hospital in serious condition and later faced charges from speeding to manslughter. They judged from the damage the driver was going at least 90, maybe even 100. My chiropracter bill was cheap, $27. I got a cash discount for whatever reason. The end of my whiplash drama. Post later. Bye!

I got into a tiny accident on my way home. The bumped was so light I barely noticed it until my neck started hurting. I just turned after a long wait to turn in rush hour traffic when a car in the other lane starting pull out in front of me at a red light and I suddenly halted to a complete stop to avoid smashing into the driver's door. I stopped so suddenly I thought the thump I heard was the brakes, then my sunglasses flew off my face. I'm sure someone hit me from behind. I looked around for a place to pull over while sitting at the red light, but of course I can't move without hitting a car in any direction. The light turns green and I inch forward, as rush hour forces you to do, to look at my rear view mirror. I see a brand new silver car with no license plate with their turning blinker on. No paint or dent on their car so I figured I probably just paint damage. I drive on. The new silver car with dealership paper tags changes lanes, and I stop again at the red light to...

Yesterday and today are the first days I am walking barefoot around my apartment all day. I woke up covered in sweat realizing it 90 degrees outside. Lots of neighbors have their air conditioning on. Last night, I slept in my clothes because sweat soaked pjs are not comfortable. People at work figure out rapidly I grew up outside the big city when I talk about walking barefoot all day as a kid. Grass is pleasant between the toes. I know sidewalks get hot and often nurture broken beer bottles, but that is what grass surrounding sidewalks is for. I do place sandles on when going outside as a grown up. I do not drive a car barefoot. Sometimes I meet someone who can't understand how I grew up in a tiny town and not self-combust. When one lives their entire life in the same tiny town, one gets use to it. One guy was happy to hear my hometown didn't have a police force during our 4th of July celebration. We have deputy sheriffs and state troopers who patrol the towns and highways of ...

I hear on the news how The Pentagon has the audacity to blame the media for their prisons' torture of prisoners by reporting on the desecration of Korans as they finally admit (after forcing Newsweek to retract their report) that the story is true. Now The Pentagon has more nerve suggeting the media not focus on their failures in this War on Terror. Here's my recommendation: Do not ever tell the media how to do their jobs. Plus, if The Pentagon was not feeding stories of prisoner abuse to the media in the first place and followed the Geneva Convention rules for prisoners in the beginning of The War on Terror, None of this would be happening. My coworker would call that karma coming back to bite you in the butt. My parents would say You made your bed now lie in it. I call it a snafu: situation normal all f***ed up.

After 5 long agonizing months, I finally received Rejection #3 for my novel. This one said my story was not right for them. So much for winning the lottery everyone at work was expecting. One coworker once blurted out how someday she can tell people she knew me before I was famous. My heart sunk to the floor and tried hard not to cry. Not yet. Another friend said to be sure to tell her when it gets published so she can go buy a copy. Gee, I would have given her a copy from my computer if she wanted to read it. Though, she would have a hard time finding any book under my name, I plan on using a pen name. Anyway, onto Publisher #4. Maybe I'll rename it and edit some more before sending it off again. Post later. Bye!

My coworker suggsted setting me up with one of her boyfriend's friends who badly wants a blind date. She asked if I objected to a guy who plays in a band who is about my age. Why would I object? Working for a car rental is not something I can be snotty about. She says he works for a gun shop and plays on the computer. She thought we could email our pictures to each other. Um, well, my sunless tanner is wearing off so maybe hold off on the picture part, my tanner is blotchy. My first question of Romeo: Is he cute? She said kinda yes, kinda no. No matter, I'm bouncing with excitement at the thought of meeting A GUY. She said she would call me later to ask my email address to give to him. She never called. Boo-hoo. I was so excited too. Bad coworker getting me all riled up. Last time someone tried to set me up, the guy wanted our first date to take place at a strip club with female dancers. Not exactly my idea of romance. But I said if he was willing to pay my cover charge to get...

I got a picture from my cousin's private, stress-free Maui beach wedding. The photographer and minister's wife were the witnesses. They called their families on April Fools Day. She says not to be in a hurry to get married. The right one is worth the wait. He is handsome, for a 37-year-old man. He is a well respected doctor my cousin met at the hospital she works at. He is from Lebanon and speaks Arabic, French, and English fluently. I like this guy already. My Mom was concerned if he is a Muslim since we are a Christian family. I say my cousin at age 37 got married for the first time, who cares? My cousin is happy and planning a family. That is the important part. Post later.

It's finally happened. They quit making my over the counter allergy medicine. I had to resort to close enough substitute before I went insane from my itchy bug bites. I went online to try 3 different medicines to see if any work. I hope that didn't set off red flags to the police ordering so much allergy medicine at once, it is used to make meth. But then, would a real drug dealer be stupid enough to have stuff ordered to their house? OK, maybe one on dope would. Medicines I find are like soaps, shampoos, and deodorents; I find one I like and they quit selling it. Post later.

I hate summer already, I want winter back. For the 10th time, I have been asked where my tan is at work. Everybody has tan. Even a guy at work gets under the tanning bed to burn himself extra crispy, which means don't touch him. My skin doesn't tan, it burns. The last sunburn I had a few years ago, I told everybody that I did not know which was worse; working with a sunburn or sitting at home with sunburn. Since I prefer not to obtain skin cancer for the sake of vanity, I started last summer rubbing on sunless tanner. I know I should tell people to go to hell, but eventually I become exhausted arguing over my extremely fair skin. I hate sunless tanners. Sure the new kinds don't streak or make you orange, but the are botchy and clump into salt grains hard to brush off. And then there are the stained fingernails. Plus, it stains your clothes even after fully dried on your skin. Of course, my fair skin doesn't tan well so there are white spots and areas which refuse to cha...