The Adventures of Being Me

Happy New Year Everybody. I'm going to bed.

Got up to the phone ringing hoping it was my job interview person calling to tell me I got a new job. No, it was my sister wanting to take me to a movie. Well, laundry and putting away the rest of my xmas decore can wait. Saw The Muppets movie. Packed full from a daycare center. Nephew so worried it would be scary enjoyed himself. Then went to Walmart. Nephew and I looked for slippers to find 2 styles and he didn't like either one. Ok met with sister and niece. Saw a Subway and since I didn't get any food at movie (sister said no popcorn), I sat there. Niece came with me and let her have a bag of chips and a drink. Nephew wanted my sister but didn't want to walk, so sat with us. Offered nephew a snack (it is mid afternoon) and he couldn't decide so got him nothing. Niece enjoyed her snack and nephew is bored and doesn't like the high stool niece chose to sit at. I share my chips and pop (but keep sandwich to myself). Nephew asks if pop and chips were for him. No...

Sampled some pretzels my coworker gave me and they tasted so bad I choked. Expiration date was April 2011. That would explain it. I thought she said she just bought them for xmas, but I guess I heard her wrong. I tossed them in the garbage. I know my Mom would freak out over tossing food away, but I refuse to keep what I can't handle eating. Mom will never know. Spent the evening babysitting nephew while sister and niece went to a movie. Baked cupcakes and a chocolate cake, then frosted it all. Watched xmas features and read xmas stories. Read 12 Days of Xmas wrongly: 6 Jordans a laying, 5 Mommy rings, 4 Daddy birds, 3 Niece hens, 2 Nephew doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Nephew insisted I read it right and I began: A Precious in a Pear Tree. Nephew took the book away and picked another. He insisted I sing the Frosty story. Yeah, I'm the fun aunt. Now to bed. Tomorrow is laundry and writing on my novel. I have 2 chapters floating in my and now I need to write them dow...

Got to explain to a coworker from Chicago the team sports of Hawkeyes and Cyclones advertised on our sportswear. She thought they were pro sports teams of Des Moines. Sorry we lack pro sports teams (at least ones that stick around).They are Iowa universities' mascots, we explained. She asks whose teams were better. I said it depended on the point of view of the person you are asking. We also noticed Nebraska Cornhuskers shirts/sweatpants also on the racks. Isn't that sacrilege in Iowa? 

Woke up to Frodo pawing my face as usual. Realized Precious left me a gift, he vomited on my comforter. Frodo's nose in my face was his gift to me. Kitties got cat toys and cat treats from Santa and a can of tuna from me. I got a candy cane from Santa, I'm happy. My Mom arrived an hour early than I said to come, to help prepare food. Very glad she did. Then after my brother showed up my Mom goes through the narrow aisle beside the dining room table instead of wide aisle, trips over a chair leg and goes kerplunk hitting her head of the wall and knocking over figurines on a display case. Brother picked Mom up off the floor and I got an ice pack. Asked her if we need the emergency room. No, just in pain. Ok, but no sleeping or we will call 911. She stayed awake, others slept. Had lovely xmas dinner with too much food. Got dishes in dishwasher and then opened gifts. Then it was need a screwdriver, need scissors, need batteries, open this aunt Jordan, putting the toliet lid do...

News says Santa is here, everybody to bed!!!! Merry Christmas.

Ok, so I work my little 5 hr shift. As I walk into the backroom to clock out, my sweater bumps a thumbtack off a bulletin board. It flies across me and naturally I go to pick it up since nobody was that suprise on their shoe. The thumbtack stops bouncing in front of a manager's office. She is so happy see me. "Jordan", she squeals. We had a bunch of call ins and we need extra help, would you like to stay. Not really, but I stop myself before the words escape my lips and verbally answer "Sure". Hey, I need money. So my 5 little hours become 10 long hours, and yes breaks were added. The crowd never slowed down and while working I am wondering when my niece's church program I said might come is. Was it tonight or tomorrow, or yesterday? I'll call sister tomorrow. So on with my extra hours and cookies I will not be baking tonight. Manager says my time I'm suppose to leave can start my lunch break. I have no lunch, I was expecting to leave. I hope I ...

The Night Before Catsmas By: Jordan Harvey It was the night before Catsmas and all through the apartment No mice were stirring, not even in the toy department; The stockings were hung on the bookshelf with care In hopes that Santy Paws would soon be there The kitties were nestled, all snug in their beds While visions of catnip danced in their heads. And Precious in his tower and Frodo in mama’s bed Had settled down after being fed; When all of a sudden there popped such a spark Precious jumped up to find it was all dark A streetlight went out and trees covered in ice No longer dimly sparkled, which was very nice. The moonlight upon the new fallen snow Covered up the paw prints where dogs like to go; When what to my wondering cat eyes should appear But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny catdeer With a little furry driver so quick with his claws I knew we were getting a visit from Santa Paws. More rapid than chasing eagles his coursers they came And he mewed and g...

Somebody got an unhappy customer with a phony coupon (Duh) who was defensive and humilated and angry we dared tell said customer their coupon was not valid. How dare we not accept their coupon they got off the internet (Oh sure, we don't mine loosing hundreds or even thousands of dollars because of these phony coupons). How was said person suppose to know it wasn't a real coupon? Well, sweetheart, unless I work for the company itself, I don't know which internet coupons are real and which are fake either (actually they're photoshopped from real ones expired 6 months ago and some are created by coupon seller). But then, I don't accuse people of being rude and degrading just because I didn't get my way either. So there. Oh yeah, we fixed the problem. We apologize for the customer's ignorance and direct them to the coupons they are actually out there. Anything to make a customer happy and shop some more. And if people want "real" coupons, they are f...

Come home from work, change clothes, and make salmon patties. Kitties love the salmon water squeezed out of the can. I go to flip the pattied to realize I forgot to turn on the stove. Ba da dum. Another day being me. Tomorrow's posting will include wrapping presents, laundry, baking pies and cookies, and grocery shopping.

Happy Xmas by john Lennon War is over, if you want it, war is over now. So this is xmas, and what have u done, another year over, and a new 1 just begun. And so this is xmas, I hope u had fun, the near and the dear ones, the old and the young. A very merry xmas, and a happy new year, let's hope it's a good one, w/out any fear. And so this is xmas, 4 weak and 4 strong, the rich and the poor ones, the wrong is so strong. And so happy xmas, 4 black and 4 white, 4 yellow and 4 red ones, let's stop all the fight. A very merry xmas, and happy new year, let's hope it's a good 1, w/out any fear. War is over, if u want it, war is over now.

Got a weird email stating a confirmation for a airline ticket w/attachment to print the ticket. I didn't buy any ticket and not opening any attachment. 1st thought was virus so looked up on an airline flight tracker site to see if flight exists. It does, from Florida to Brazil. My email said no departure city and arrived in Los Angeles. So emailed the airline to let know of this scam. In case they didn't know. Anyone else get this email?

No baking tonight. I read a magazine and cuddled with cats. Between cuddles the cats chased each other around the apartment tonight. Then when one jumped up on the recliner chair, it slumped down and a foot rest popped up with a loud thud. Naturally they had to investigate the hole under the chair. It wasn't there before. Then jumped on each other again. Now ready for bed. Cuddling is such hard work.

To bake or not to bake. That is the question. I baked yesterday. Shall I rest tonight. Cats resting on my lap for so long I can't feel my feet. And yet, they demand petting when my arms get tired. Such neglected kitties.

‎2...3...4. Christmas, Christmas, time is near. Time for toys and time for cheer. We've been good, but we can't last. Hurry Christmas. Hurry Fast. Want a plane that loops the loop. Me, I want a hula hoop. We can hardly stand the wait. Please Christmas Don't Be Late.

Miss Manners Question: Why do some people who receive gifts never say thank you and yet, people still give gifts to these people. Miss Manners Answer: People who don't say thank you are rude and why they keep receiving gifts is beyond Miss Manners understanding. My Answer: Some of us believe a gift with strings attached is not a gift at all. And some of us give to the ungrateful simply cause giving is "from the heart" or simply "from obligation". I tend to include all of a group (coworkers, relatives, friends, etc.) and not pick and choose from the pool of people who say Thank You when making my gift/card list every year.

Had a lady leave her keys in her cart and her cart was taken by someone else. Eventually found and turned in. Another lady left her purse in her cart and someone else had taken it. I called customer service and they said it was already turned in. Had a coworker giving extra discount than we were suppose to in order to sell those store credit card applications. The ploy was working. Apparently said person found a store card member's coupon so was using that along with the normal discount. I was inclined to squeal since that is most unfair to the rest of us offering the normal discount. Another coworker said not to tell and just let said person get into trouble on their own. The cash register does record everything we do on it. Well, other coworker was miffed and squealed to a manager. Said person disappeared, though did see them walking by with light bulbs. Must had person change light bulbs. Later at home: Poor cat Precious tries so hard to cuddle with me. First I tu...

Did my best stretching out my sweater a few inches. Then watched Love Actually. Then made Almond Bark Pretzels. Next watched Muppets Christmas Carol. Never understood why Nephew Fred is not in the Future Scenes. Perhaps he is indirectly. Someone had to pay for his tombstone or else you get an unmarked grave like the great Mozart. Now off to bed. Gotta work tomorrow. Bills need paying.

Today I will stretching a sweater. Washed and dried a brand new knee length sweater and now it just covers my tushy. Does wool shrink that much? I know acrylic doesn't. Here's hoping.

Friend said this: Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. My reply: And men will never be equal to women until they walk down the street in 4 inch heels and a dress and know they are sexy. Who wins the debate? Comment please.

I was going through my old poems in my poetry notebook looking for an empty page for my Halloween poem and thought to share this. Untitled written Spring 2002 Many people tell me every day what is As if they are experts in this reality called life I see reality every day in front of my face Many people forget the great dream called what if

Deleting old emails I found this poem I wrote to my friends for Halloween. Every girl wants to be a princess Every boy wants to be a punk Every cat must have its yowl and every dog his howl Every ghost tries to blend in with the living Every vampire must bite his jawbreaker Every devil must light his jack-o-latern Every mother must take a picture of her kids The moon shines bright, the stars twinkle Don't be scared of those disguies, It's Halloween night Have a great Halloween. Later, Jordan.

Rain in December, that would make a good title for something. Yes, it is raining today instead of snowing. I planned to do laundry to wash my new clothes, but don't want to go out in the rain. Weather man said it is suppose to alter into ice and snow this evening. Good thing I worked this morning and safe at home. Watching St Elmo's Fire on TV. I love that movie. Watched ice skating earlier. Frodo is eating cheese powder off my fingers. Typical day for me. PS. It is still raining at 10 PM. Do laundry tomorrow. After St Elmo's Fire, I watched a Harry Poter marathon until bedtime. Yes, I am a movie buff.