Spring is here

The good part about owning a house is planting flowers. I have flower blooms of hyacinths and daffodils. Plus tons of purple violets all over the yard. I love violets. My Cat TV (aka Bird Feeder) are attracting red wing blackbirds and crows. See robins, sparrows, and chickadees too. My hummingbird feeders evaporated so something is drinking them up. Saw some bees by my flowers so making my contribution of honey to their hives.

Attended my niece's confirmation and got to see family again. She loved my cross necklace gift with mother of pearl. Much better family gathering than my Mom's cousin's funeral a few weeks ago. Poor family discovered so many loved the deceased that they ran out of food. Mom was given a basket of flowers.

I swear I will die alone

Tried out a dating site to find a man. I find men who hide under sunglasses and a hat in their profile photo or worse, their show off their naked chest. Excuse me, if you want someone to fall in love with your personality, why are you hiding it (and yes, a naked chest is hiding because they are trying to attract a superficial woman who won't deep deeper into their personality)? Even better, I keep reading profiles that are nothing but complaints about how lousy the dating site is or the women they meet are cheap whores and scammers. I have to wonder why they are on a website that is so awful. Maybe they can't figure out how to delete their profile. I do my ranting off the dating website, like here.

Even worse, this dating site recommends men I don't want. They give me smokers (I have asthma), men who don't want kids nor marriage, and men who live 1000 miles away. I swear I'm going to die alone like that scene in Bridget Jones's Diary where she is lying on the floor surrounded by cats. Hopefully someone will miss me before my cats, ferrets, and fish starve to death, but I wouldn't count on it until my absence effects someone else's day like my boss.

I'm ready to give up again. 10 years ago I tried a dating site to find an a**wipe who stiffed me on a $100 hotel deposit cause he didn't take the room that he asked me to reserve. Yeah, he drove 200 miles in a snowstorm in the middle of the night to feed his dog after our date on New Year's Eve/Day. A year later while I am dating someone else, he decides he didn't give me enough of a chance and asked me to send sexy photos of myself to help him decide whether or not he should take me on a date again. Right. I replied that after the way he treated me the past year that I believed he should be down on his knees, kissing my tushy, and begging for me to give him another chance. He didn't reply.

I swear I will die alone.

More Holidays

Celebrated ferret Boromir's 1st Birthday with a cupcake and can of tuna. Had fun shoveling the driveway from all of our snowfall. Visited the dentist after 2 years of trying to secure my job and thus, insurance, to find a new dentist (old dentist stopped their service for me when the state privatized Medicaid). Took the piece of garbage car in to change a headlight and change all 4 rotten tires. Get better traction in the snow now. Spent Valentine's Day/Ash Wednesday at work and then doing taxes for VITA. My Mom called to thank me for her Heart Pizza and brownies I had delivered to her home. It was so big she had to invite people over to help her eat it. Watched the Winter Olympics on TV, snowboarding and figure skating are my favorites. Celebrated cat Precious's 12th Birthday with a cake and tuna. Gained 3 clients at the company and lost a client due to them declaring bankruptcy. One new client demanded a sealed room to work audits for their company so we got to hear a lot of noise in the office to create one. Celebrated ferret Luthien's 2nd Birthday. She got some peanut butter she loves so much in addition to the cupcake and tuna. Cousin gave us an addition to the family, a baby boy named Charge Jamison. Missed the St. Patrick's Day parade cause it was just too cold outside to enjoy it so spent the day at home doing laundry, dishes, etc. Joined a dating site again. Tried a dating site 10 years ago and met 1 a**wipe before running out of money. I doubt I will find anyone this time either since I am cursed with attracting players with no hearts. Who wants a dork who likes ballet, skateboards, poetry, classic rock music, and animals. OMG, I'm such a nightmare to deal with. Had to use my home warranty to clear the central vacuum's filter to make it work again. Got a new bird feeder and bird bath for the yard since spring is coming. Yes, I spotted my flower bulbs I planted last fall blooming the other day, about 3 inches high now. Soon, I will be planting flower seeds next month after I hostess Easter dinner. VITA ends tomorrow with a pizza party. My animals will be so happy when I stop coming home late. Nothing else to report.

Have a wonderful Easter Sunday.

Black History Month Challenge

I once read in a newspaper where students were asked to name 20 Black Americans who are/were not athletes nor entertainers. Many could not. One high school class of mine did that challenge and I think we did make it to 20 people. Let's see how many I can name. Let the challenge begin.

1. Phyllis Wheatley: Poet who met with George Washington during the Revolutionary War.

2. Sojourner Truth: Abolitionist and Women's Suffragist who bared her breasts and gave a famous speech "Ain't I a Woman?"

3. Harriet Tubman: Conductor of the Underground Railroad and later scout, spy, and soldier in Civil War.

4. Frederick Douglass: Abolitionist who published his autobiography as a former slave.

5. Solomon Northup: Violinist who published his autobiography 12 Years a Slave.

6. 54th Massachusetts Infantry unit that inspired the film Glory.

7. Bass Reeves: Lawman out of Ft. Smith, AR who entered Indian Territory (Oklahoma) to capture fugitives and some say was the inspiration to the Lone Ranger.

8. George Washington Carver: Professor and inventor of peanut products who revolutionized they way southern farmers planted cash crops.

9. Buffalo Soldiers: Black Soldiers of the Wild West were given this name by the Indian tribes they encountered.

10. Ida Barnett-Wells: Journalist and a founder of NAACP.

11. Madam C. J. Walker: Built a beauty line empire similar to Avon/Mary Kay targeting black women's hair and skin care.

12. WEB DuBois: Author of Souls of Black Folk, professor, and a founder of NAACP.

13. Booker T. Washington: Professor who published his autobiography Up From Slavery and help build Tuskegee University.

14. Thurgood Marshall:1st black Supreme Court Justice.

15. Langston Hughes: Author of The Crisis and part of the Harlem Renaissance.

16. Wiley College Debate Team that inspired the film The Great Debaters.

17. Gwendolyn Brooks: Author of Annie Allen that won a Pulitzer Prize.

18. Zora Neale Hurston: Author of Their Eyes Were Watching God.

19. Maya Angelou: Author of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and read a poem at the inaugurations of Presidents Clinton and Obama.

20. James Baldwin: Author of Notes of a Native Son.

21. Alex Haley: Author of Roots and Autobiography of Malcolm X.

22. Toni Morrison: Author of Beloved that won a Pulitzer Prize and received Nobel Prize in Literature.

23. Alice Walker: Author of The Color Purple that won a Pulitzer Prize.

24. Tuskegee Airmen: Pilots in WWII.

25. Emmett Till: Teenager who supposedly whistled at a white woman and shortly after was murdered. His funeral and murder trial gained media attention to become a catalyst in the Civil Rights Movement.

26. Rosa Parks: The woman who refused to give up her seat to a white man that sparked the Civil Rights Movement after attending a rally in memory of Emmett Till.

27. Martin Luther King Jr.: Leader of the Civil Rights Movement and received Nobel Peace Prize.

28. Elijah Muhammad: Leader of Nation of Islam beginning in 1930's.

29. Malcolm X: Islamist preacher who published his Autobiography written by Alex Haley.

30. Jesse Jackson: Christian preacher and civil rights activist who ran for president and hostage negotiator.

31. Quincy Jones: Music producer, songwriter.

32. Spike Lee: Film director and producer.

33. Mae Jemison: 1st Black Woman in space as an astronaut.

34. Clarence Thomas: Supreme Court Justice.

35. Condoleezza Rice: 1st female black Secretary of State and National Security Advisor.

36. Colin Powell: General of US Army, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and 1st black Secretary of State.

37. Barak Obama: Senator, Author, and 1st Black President of the US.

Happy Valentine's Day

Had a good January. Slept in the New Year going to bed at 11 PM and enjoyed the day off. Then back to work hearing about about a new pay system the corporate office wants to inflict on us. Instead of raises we usually, they will pay us bonus related to how much work we produce over the budget. Which means many employees are looking for new jobs I'm sure. I call it "20 different reason not to pay us".

Drove Mom to my Dad's cousins reunion at a pizza place. Younger generations don't bother to visit people they only see once a year so the cousins have their own gathering in January.

Attended a baby shower for my cousin about to have her first child. Got to see her out-of-state sister and family plus my out-of-state aunt. My sister and niece got a stomach bug at the last minute and decided not to come, so took nephew along to visit out-of-state uncle. They played games down in the basement. Told nephew a baby shower is like a birthday party: have cake and punch, play games, and open presents. One guest was a little girl who helped my cousin open presents and then lifted her shirt up to announce that she tooted. Good to see the family again.

Started volunteering for VITA again and busy checking other people's work to make sure they entered everything in correctly. Explained to people I worked with last year about buying a new house and getting a new HRA account through my job so my tax form next next form will be different from this year.

Nothing else to report. I eat, sleep, work, and volunteer. Such as life.

Christmas Story 2017

Twas the night before Christmas and through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a toy mouse

The stockings were hung on the bookcase with care

With hopes of St Nicholas soon would be there

The cats in the kitchen and mama in bed

Eowyn, Luthien, and I slept in the basement after being fed

Visions of red toys and dangling Christmas balls

Filled my dreams of what this Christmas thing befalls

When out on the lawn there was a loud POP

I sprang from the ferret room and saw the cats lollop

Away to the window I bounced like a bunny

Then Precious and Frodo came running

The moon glowing upon the new fallen snow

Covering the mushy leaves unraked below

When what to my wondering ferret eyes should appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer

With a little old driver so bright red and quick

I so badly wanted give that toy a lick

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Jingles Now Jangles Now Ivy and Holly

On Snowball On Sparkle On Tinsel and Jolly

To the top of the porch to the top of the wall

Now dash away dash away dash away all

As right before the wild flurries whirled

The cats danced and us ferrets twirled

So up to the rooftop the coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of toys and St Nicholas too

And then, in an instant we heard on the roof

the scratching and pawing of each little hoof

As I drew in my head and was turning around

Santa arrived at the door in a single bound

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back

And he looked like a shoplifter opening his sack

Precious drank all the milk so Frodo got more

He ate the sugar cookies we had set on the floor

While Eowyn heated the cocoa in a tail’s wag

I took the opportunity to crawl into his bag

His face was red like a cherry as he went Ho, ho, ho

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The cold air his jaws held tight in his teeth

And his breath encircled his head like a wreath

He tripped over the tree light cord to fall

And the vibration shook the decorations right off the wall

His eyes were kind as he scratched my cheek

As Luthien gave him a napkin to let out a squeak

He placed the decorations back where they were

Then I heard mama beginning to stir

Santa spoke not a word, but finished his cookies

He filled up the stockings, even for us rookies

Then laying a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, out the door he rose

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a holler

And away they all flew as we furbabies got taller

But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night

Christmas Letter 2017

Merry Christmas to all my family and friends. I spent my New Year's Eve with a lethargic ferret scared he was going to die right in my arms. Skin was all purple, not eating or drinking. New Year's Day he was more alert and drinking water so I was happy. Come Monday, he was still struggling to tinkle so off to the vet we went. Tests showed he had an infection causing bladder stones and given antibiotics. After 2 days at the vet’s office, he went into kidney failure and I brought Faramir home to die with his family. Next morning, he was still alive screaming every half hour as he got worse. I scheduled to have him euthanized in the afternoon and he died on the way there. Vet curled him up in a box and I buried him in a flower pot 3 weeks short of his 4th Birthday. Happy New Year to me.

Attended the Extended Family Christmas at a park shelter in Waukee and everyone relayed their condolences. Next, my female Beta fish Artemis died. Got a baby female fish named Hera and she died a few months later. Had a cold on Valentine’s Day so didn’t have to smell my coworkers’ flowers (Achoo!). Sent Mom a Heart shaped pizza and some brownies for her to enjoy the holiday. Volunteered for VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) for another season, my 3rd year. More of an assistant to the professor than a tax preparer, but hey, looks good on my resume. My male fish Cronus died from bloat after trying every cure on the internet. Got a baby boy fish named Helios. Celebrated cat Precious’s 11th Birthday. Healed from Faramir’s death to get another baby boy ferret named Beren that I had for 1 day. The next day he crawled under the door and made it outside in the rain. Neighbor took him to the shelter down the street. Since I just got him, I thought he was hiding under the furniture terrified of his new home. After I hadn’t seen him for a couple days and started looking him, I discovered the shelter had already adopted him out to another family. Then, female fish Gaia died after having her a year after I got her as a baby. I got a baby female fish named Eos. Took Mom to the Des Moines Ballet performing Snow White. Spent Easter at Mom’s apartment looking at pictures of my brother’s vacation during Spring Break. Celebrated cat Frodo’s 11th Birthday. Attended the Def Leppard/Poison/Tesla concert at Wells Fargo Arena. Healed from losing Beren and got another boy ferret named Boromir. This one escaped under the door to bite the neighbor who found him in the hallway to get us evicted after a week and a half after getting him.

Baby female fish Rhea died growing into her teen stage. Got a female fish named Nyx (full grown). Had a realtor friend help me for months to find me a home to keep my ferrets. Found a foster home through the Crisis program at Animal Rescue League of Iowa for the ferrets until I find us a new home so I didn’t have to face a 7 day eviction notice on my door. Spent Mother’s Day with family at Iowa Machine Shed. Took Mom and sister #1 out to the cemeteries on Memorial Day. Next, took Mom and Nephew to Lake of the Ozarks to visit my Aunt and Uncle there. Nephew enjoyed taking walks and wave runner rides with Uncle. Nephew went bonkers over his tool shed (he loves tools and machines). Enjoyed the scenery, tourist spots, and boat rides on the lake. Saw caves and state parks. Rode the wave runner and started my Christmas shopping. We had a good time. Attended a family reunion at Aunt in Omaha’s house and explained my house hunting progress. Went to Adventureland with sister #2’s family. Nearly bought a house in my hometown, but the roof was bad from the storm that recently hit and had to walk away from it when sellers refused to fix it. Spent 4th of July with sister #2's family in Urbandale and played frisbee with my nephew waiting for the fireworks. Took my Mom out for her birthday at Baker’s Square, just the two of us.

Attended my niece #4’s and nephew's first piano recital. Celebrated nephew's 13th birthday at the Taproom in downtown Des Moines. My male fish Hades died and got a male fish called Pontus. Tried to view the partial solar eclipse at work, but clouds were in the way so couldn't take very good pictures of it. Got into a car accident right before I moved and since my car was 17 years old, insurance thought cost of the repairs was more than the worth of the car so they offered a settlement. Moving day came and took Frodo to the vet. He had fleas and so did my apartment, meaning all my movers got flea bites. Spent the past 3 months getting rid of fleas I brought to the new house and they are disappearing. Got my ferrets back from foster care and my girls were so skinny I could feel their bones. Luthien took a week and Eowyn took two weeks to get back to normal. They just needed their Mom. Boromir was much bigger and happy to come home. Had a strange experience of my inoperable doorbell going off, and still goes off now that it's fixed. I think I have a ghost.

Celebrated my birthday with a family dinner at Iowa Machine Shed and unpacking my house. Cats love their backyard and want to enjoy it every day until it got cold. Bought yard tools and some flower bulbs for the first time. Planted flower seeds before on my apartment balcony, but squirrels destroyed the pots so gave up. I planted Hyacinths, Daffodils, Peonies, and Dutch Irises. I plan to buy tulips from the Pella Tulip festival next May. Some family might recognize most of those are my Mom’s flowers she had at our childhood home. Mom was sad the new house owners tore out her peonies so I got some just for her. Next spring, I should have lots of pretty flowers. After the first rain, I found leaky windows so had to seal them. Bought a used car to have it break down on the way home. Had to take the car to the shop 5 more times to fix things so far. Celebrated ferret Eowyn's 4th birthday. Was called in for Jury Duty and then cases plea bargained so was released after two and half hours. Frodo found a hole in the backyard fence so had to fix that. Watched sister #2’s cat while they went to Walt Disney World. Got ready for Halloween and it was so cold that only 9 kids came so offered candy to coworkers. Ferret Boromir celebrated his first Halloween watching me carve a pumpkin. Got yard raked and mowed with help from sister #2 and nephew, I’m ready for winter and put up those Christmas lights and displays. Spent Thanksgiving at brother’s house bringing Aunt in Omaha along for the ride to see brother’s new house for the first time. I will take Aunt in Omaha and Mom to my niece #3's college graduation, with honors. She will be a high school math teacher when she wrangles a job, probably next spring. I will host Christmas Day dinner for Mom and any family members that come. I told nephew that if enough people come over that I will cook my first turkey. Boromir will celebrate his first Christmas and loves playing in the Christmas village on the floor. And finally, will enjoy the Extended Family Christmas the Sunday after Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

Jordan

Precious (cat)

Frodo (cat)

Eowyn (ferret)

Luthien (ferret)

Boromir (ferret)

Helios (fish)

Nyx (fish)

Eos (fish)

Pontus (fish)

Busy summer and Autumn

Sorry I haven't posted for months. Living a busy life searching for a new home (Found one and moved in 2 months ago) and trying to visit ferrets their foster home (they were happy to come home). Poor Precious cat had to go to the vet and so scared that he peed his fur and had to take carrier top off to get to him. He weighed in at 16 lbs (his max was 22 lbs) so he lost a pound since last year. Went to the local amusement park with sister's family and lost my prescription glasses on a ride and got them back the next day. Tried to train a new coworker to take over one of my projects and had to ask my manager to stop cause this person wasn't catching on. Too bad they later were let go from the job. Had tornadoes near by hometown and my Mom's hometown and luckily no fatalities. Nearly bought a house in my hometown, but the roof was bad from the storm that recently happened so had to walk away from it. Spent 4th of July with my sister's family and played frisbee with my nephew until I got tired and a kid watching fireworks nearby played with him. I had to make them stop when I kept getting hit. Finally got my raise after waiting 7 months for it and it 1.5% increase. Took my Mom out for her birthday and she brings a coupon to get one meal free.

Attended my niece and nephew's first piano recital. Celebrated nephew's 13th birthday. My Beta fish Hades died and got a new fish called Pontus. Tried to view the partial solar eclipse, but clouds were in the way so couldn't take very good pictures of it. Got into a car accident right before I moved and since my car is 17 years old, insurance thought cost of the repairs was more than the worth of the car so they offered a settlement that I have not received even though I mailed the car title a month ago. Got to drive a rental car for a month and had to pay a few weeks until my sister who was borrowing my Mom's car to replace her car to give up Mom's car so I could use it. Moving day came and took Frodo to the vet. He has fleas and so does my apartment meaning all my mover help got flea bites. Got my ferrets back and my girls were so skinny I could feel their bones. Luthien took a week and Eowyn took two weeks to get back to normal. Had a strange experience of my inoperable doorbell going off, and still goes off now that it's fixed. I think I have a ghost.

Celebrated my birthday with a family dinner at a restaurant. Discovered my phone company failed to transfer my phone to the new house and then had to get a new modem. Cats love their backyard and want to enjoy it everyday until it got cold. Bought yard tools and some flower bulbs for the first time. Planted flower seeds before, but squirrels destroyed the pots so gave up. After the first rain, I found leaky windows so had to seal them. Bought a used car to have it break down on the way home. Borrowed Mom's car until mechanic replaced the battery. Celebrated Eowyn ferret's 4th birthday. Brought fleas to new house so been spraying stuff every week, animals are now less itchy. Was called in for Jury Duty and then cases plea bargined so was released after two and half hours. Frodo cat found a hole in the backyard fence so had to fix that. Watched a friend's cat while they were on vacation. Got ready for Halloween and it was so cold that only 9 kids came so offered candy to coworkers. Got yard raked and mowed with all flower bulbs planted. Wore my Star Wars costume to work and found my manager was the only other person in my section to dress up. Boromir ferret celebrated his first Halloween watching me carve a pumpkin. Got license plates for the new car.

I believe that covers everything. Try to post more often.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers, Stepfathers, Adoptive Fathers, Foster Fathers, Pet Fathers, any Father Figures, and Single Mothers playing the role of father too.

Yesterday attending a family reunion at my Aunt in Omaha's house. Had a good time talking about our recent vacation in the Ozarks with Aunt and Uncle. Told everybody about lack of progress in finding a new home so I can get my ferrets back (apartment landlord doesn't appreciate my love for animals). Still clinging to hope cause that is all I have. Realtor friend is talking to a seller and will inspect the house this week and she said if it's my price that I will see it first. I miss my first ferrets so much.

Nephew said I would be happier with a husband. Yeah, if I could snap my fingers and a man I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with magically appeared, I would have married him 20 years ago and have a bunch of kids and possibly grandkids by now. I guess I'm just cursed to be alone. So I get pets to fill the void.

Had a good vacation

Took a vacation to the Ozarks to visit family. Enjoyed the scenery, tourist spots, and boat rides on the lake. Saw caves and state parks. Rode a waverunner and started my Christmas shopping. Had a good time. Come home to find my cat sitter rearranged my place with their helping me pack up stuff. Cats were happy to see me and not the cat sitter. One cat has matted fur I need to comb out. Laundry and grocery shopping to refill the empty fridge will be done today. Will visit my ferrets in foster care tomorrow. I hope I find a new home this week, I want my furbabies back.

If I were to write a graduation speech

Congratulations high school or college students, I thought long and hard as to how I got the honor of standing here before you today. I'm a success. You know who I am to ask me to speak at your graduation. And my words will be forgotten as this day becomes a distant memory for you. I hope you will remember this part: It doesn't matter what you did in high school or college in grades or sports or club activities, none of that will make you a success. What does matter is what you do as an adult is what will make you a success. And life is not a success only journey. You will fail, you will work jobs you hate, you will smile at people you don't like, you will loose jobs and people you cherish, and hopefully you get back up and keep trying. Nikki Sixx once said on Twitter how amazed he was at how hard people work to get nowhere. It takes years of hard work to become an overnight success. My best advice I can give is simply to take the time to figure out what you do best and then figure out how to get paid for it. Don't believe you are done learning. New laws, new technology, and new ideas will make adults return to school. Enjoy this day because tomorrow you step into a larger world full of wonder and amazing experiences to be explored. Good luck to you all.

Clinging to hope

Sad day, the 2 houses I wanted to view this week got sold yesterday. But, received new listings from realtor friend and hopeful to see 1 house like before it gets sold. It's beautiful and spacious going by the photographs. It's in my sister's old neighborhood (she was there for over 10 years and moved b/c the school district didn't teach computers at the elementary school level). I'm so excited and crossing fingers. At one house viewing, I told my niece and nephew that if my basement was big enough I would get a pool table. I don't think they ever played pool so they must learn. I grew up with my brother's pool table in the basement (and broke the bridge when I was about 7 so had to learn weird positions to hit the ball). I taught them how to play chess once. Have to see if nephew remembers when we go on vacation. I'm visiting relatives so don't have to pay for a hotel. I know we will find things to do.

Another work day

Working hard to get work done and get hit with another baby dream. I'm getting so tired of these dreams, just wish the guy in them would just show up in my life. So anyway, dream of bringing home a newborn baby boy from the hospital. Snow is on the ground and we missed a snowstorm while I was in the hospital. Nobody is home cause kids are at school. Kind of weird in my dreams the guy has custody and ex wife gets visitation, but then again these dream stepsons are teenagers so probably pulled away emotional from mama when puberty hit. Set baby down for a nap after his lunch and my guy gets frisky. He has been so lonely since I went away to the hospital, apparently I was there for nearly a week. We have a cuddle and I enjoy the frisky attention. It was a good dream.

We are getting a new coworker next week and I'm on vacation so have to wait to meet them. I'm certain dream guy will not be my pending coworker cause my dream guy is not an accountant.

Memorial Day outing

Visited the cemeteries and saw a new tombstone for my cousin along with my aunt and uncle names next to hers my grandparents' stone. Guess family wanted a place to remember my cousin who was cremated years ago and ashes spread in another state.

Visited my furbabies in foster care waiting for me to buy a new house. I'm trying, but low cost houses are not well kept (that's why they are cheap). Looking for a low cost house I can handle. I want my furbabies back.

Had an angel decoration sitting on top of my bookcase fall to the floor. Some people think it's a sign from someone. Wonder what the message I'm suppose to receive, Angel fell from heaven to earth to be with me? Reminded me of a poem I wrote once:

My best friend gone for eternity

What will become of me

Who will hold my hand

When I can no longer stand

Where is my angel to hold me tight

I will I get through each night

My cries, no one hears

And nobody sees my tears

Where is my angel for bad and for worse

I'm a shaky boat on an unknown course

Where is my angel mama promised me

I need one now can't you see

Where is my angel before it's too late

How much longer must I wait

A hug good-bye is not enough

Moving on is very tough

Where is my angel is wipe away every tear

My angel is far from here

Got the car checked

Got off work early so took the car in for an inspection before my vacation. Don't want to break down in the middle of nowhere. Mechanic inspected everything and only changed a bulb in the turning signal. I can live with that.

Having people coming over to help pack up my stuff. I haven't bought a house yet and I have people ready to pack me up. Hope I find a good home soon, I want my ferrets back. They are safe in foster care. Foster family just took in a baby squirrel. They took video of squirrel meeting ferrets. They are scaredy ferrets.

Manager hired someone will start in a couple weeks. Still looking for more workers and said they want to interview more people before deciding on taking on anymore. The pressure is on us to make up the work lost by loosing 3 coworkers last week. We work as fast as we can.

Well, not much to report this week.

Another day, another dream

Doing my work and suddenly hear carousal music playing my head. Funny, coworkers wear headphones so never hear their music. Brush it off and the vision starts. I'm walking down the local amusement park main street shops area with the carousal playing in the background. I'm holding hands with a very handsome man and note there is a ring on my engagement hand. We are with 2 teenage boys lagging behind being goofy. My niece and nephew are there too. Niece is very attached to me since she is with new people. She grabs my other hand and nephew starts to walk funny like other boys. Niece thinks she should pick all the rides. I tell her maybe I'll win her a stuffed toy.

Next I'm at the skee ball area and present a stuffed toy to my niece. We walk away toward the food stands and meet up the boys. Some lady sees me with my man and asks how long we have been married. I say, " A week". Lady congratulates us saying we resemble an old married couple and walks away. My man comments how we have been together a month and already we look like an old married couple. I explain it's the ring, it has wedding band attached to the diamond ring. Niece asks why I said we were married a week when we got engaged a week ago. My reply, Everybody doesn't need to know everything.

And to end the dream, we leave the park and kids get along goofing around. Niece seems more comfortable around the new people.

Someone I know got scammed

It finally happened, someone I know got scammed out of a bunch of money they will never get back. Their reason: They seemed nice and insistent I give them money. Please watch out for people you care about.

Hits just keep coming

Hand off didn't go as plan. Cage was too heavy so took the lid off. Carried furbabies to car and Luthien got loose. She was under my car, then another car. Then I lost her. I screamed her name for half a hour and wouldn't come to me. Anyway, Eowyn and Boromir are with foster mother today. I was planning on cleaning for landlord's inspection, but now looking for a ferret for a hour. PS.OMG, Knock on the door and it is a woman with Luthien. She just showed up on her porch and her father the maintenance guy told her I was missing a ferret. Must have seen the shirts outside I put out so Luthien could catch my scent and find her way home. My neighbor lived across the courtyard. I offered a reward and she refused it. Apparently Luthien was filthy so she got another bath. Thank you God, I've been praying all day.

Hit with Another Curve Ball

Gave the ferrets a bath and cleaning their cage for the foster family tomorrow. I asked for help looking at houses from family and some are freaking out how I can't buy a house cause I have no what I'm doing. I never owned a house so I should not ever buy one you know. That's why I asked for advice, I know my own limitations. I don't know much about cars either and trust my mechanic to fix it for me (since it runs so I'm happy). I know this sudden, but it's a new home or dispose of the ferrets. I didn't get my ferrets to throw them away when life got hard. I got a mortgage loan, I just need the house. I got my realtor friend, my Mom, my sister, and brother-in-law looking at the next possible house. I'm sure if they have concerns, they will be voiced. My heart is breaking giving my furbabies to someone else cause we will be separated. I can visit and will get them back, but it still hurts. I just don't need extra stress of fighting with my whole family how incompetent I am in the world. I had hard times before and will have them again. The soft words of "You will survive" is what I want to hear.

Thought had time, but no

Since it has been a week since I dropped off my notice asking for patience to close on a house. Get a call today from landlord giving me 7 days to find ferrets a new home or face a 7 day eviction notice on my door. Contacted a kennel facility who will take in my ferrets for $50 a day, so $3000 for 2 months. I have a realtor friend and former work friend living 30 miles away contacting places to help me find home my ferrets are allowed to live in. Praying hard tonight they succeed. Please heavenly father let me find a new home.

PS. Former work friend talked to her friend at a shelter that has a program for people in crisis in need of shelter for their pets with intention of animals being returned. So the ferrets will be in foster care until I find a new home for us. I hope it will be soon.