New baby ferret gone forever

I got my new baby ferret I named Beren a week ago. Per usual he hid under the furniture with the other ferrets. Then, I couldn't smell him around anymore. Thought maybe he was absorbing the older ferrets' scent. Then getting worried from not seeing him, I looked everywhere twice. I got out the vacuum out cause animals hate it so thought I could drive him out of hiding. Finally, broke down and put up a Missing Poster for him last night. And trauma getting it printed and need to toss this printer out. I read my social media after work to see the shelter down the street's entry pop up of a baby ferret that was available and quickly adopted. I wonder if that was my missing baby ferret. Naturally, the new owners probably wouldn't give up an animal they just adopted today so I have to assume my baby ferret I lost is gone forever from my home. I hope they take good care of him. He is a sweet baby and will be loved and missed. Go ahead and yell at me for losing a pet saying it serves me right for thinking he was hiding under the furniture. Nothing anyone says can make me hurt anymore than I already feel knowing I will never see my baby ferret again. I'm sorry Beren. I'm so sorry baby Beren I didn't realize you missing sooner.

PS. I received an email from the shelter that he was found the day after I got him during the rain storm. By location where he was found and where I live, it is very likely it was my baby ferret they just adopted out. They apologized they couldn't reunite us. I thanked them for their reply to add that I pray the new adoptive family takes good care of him and he will be missed.

PSS. I've been thinking through my tears that the shelter did care for him for 6 days so I decided to make a donation for his care. It is the least I can do for them.

Work meeting

Nice. Manager asks if anyone has news in our morning huddle/meeting. I mention I got a new ferret. Everybody rolls their eyes. Ok, they got all excited about a coworker's puppy to decorate their cubicle and my ferret gets eye rolls. I bet nobody decorates my cubicle. Manager asked the name. When explained the name came from Lord of the Rings, I got more eye rolls. Sorry I didn't name my ferret after Trump's kid even though the names sound alike.

My VITA pals did me the courtesy of looking at my social media page of my new baby ferret and acted interested in this "cute" baby animal.

Can't please everyone.

Another head splitting dream

I wouldn't mind these wacky dreams so much if my head didn't hurt so much when I have them. It feels like a knife is in the center of my brain, like a migraine without the vision disturbances.

This dream starts as a fight in a living room full of children. I hurl an object at my husband and he says he is leaving before this gets worse. He walks out the door and kids are crying to yell at me for making Daddy leave. I burst in tears and go to the kitchen to prepare a snack for the kids. I try to distract the kids with watching TV. I then go the Master bedroom and cry on the bed angry with myself for having a hot temper with certain subjects. I hear footsteps and tiny fingers touch my hair. I look up and a little boy is staring at me. I tell Nicky I was sorry to hug him and tell him not to worry about Daddy, he's at the bar and will come home later in the night. I pull myself together and pick up the snack plates and cups of milk around the living room to put them in the kitchen sink. We play games and later put the kids to bed. I go to bed and fall asleep. Relive the fight and suddenly wake up to feel the bed in the darkness. Husband not there so I burst into tears. Kid is in the doorway asking if I was okay. He got up to use the bathroom and heard me crying. He goes back to bed after I hug him telling him I was sad Daddy hadn't come back yet. Go back to sleep to wake up again from reliving the fight again to start wheezing from my asthma. Feel the darkness to sense my husband is there sound asleep. I put my arm around him and say I'm sorry in case he was awake. He doesn't move or make a sound so assume he was sleeping. I wake up again and hear the shower running. The shower stops and I stretch out on the bed. Husband asks if I'm awake. I call his name. He enters the room in a brown robe and lies down beside me. He says he heard me talking in my sleep. I apologize again and agree to counseling to help with our trigger issues. Apparently he was awake when I apologized the first time. We make up as couples do and go to eat breakfast with the kids who are waking up to. I kiss husband in front the children assuring them parents can fight and make up. I love this man and want to keep him.

Hope my headache goes away now.

It's a Boy!

Stopped by the pet store for chew sticks and a new baby boy Beta fish since Cronus to find another ferret. I am ready to love again. There was several ferrets to choose from and I picked the one that spoke to me. It is a boy I named Beren from Lord of the Rings. Thought long and hard about the new boy fish name, Helios from Greek Mythology. My lady ferrets were happy to meet Beren and act like mother hens to him. He roamed around and met the vicious cats. Finally he took a nap under the TV stand. I saw him poop so waiting to see him eat so I can be assured he feels at home.

RIP Cronus

RIP Cronus. My silver white male Beta with red fins died this morning. He never would let me take his picture. He loved to hide in the plastic plant and watch the ladies. I got him already grown last year. He got The Bloat last week. Tried every cure on the internet, but can't cure dropsy. In the catnip plant now. Plan on getting another fish this weekend.

Another vision

Lying in bed drifting off to sleep and I have a vision of a white dog with a beige right ear licking my face. It reminds me of my aunt's Bolognese dogs, but fur more silky straight than curly so appears more like a Maltese dog. I had a similar dream living in my old apartment, only in that dream I was in a living room and I was petting the dog. Who knows what all these weird dreams? Friends think they could be premonitions of future events. Yeah, they tend not to actually occur so I don't think they are premonitions. I try writing them down to get them out of my head. That doesn't work. Oh well, guess I'll just enjoy the dreams since they are the only hope of a better future I have.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Today I went to work and when came home, I stopped at McD's for a Shamrock Shake. They were out. If it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. Should have gone out for lunch, but try to keep my break short so I can leave early. Almost everybody in my office leaves early, especially on Friday.

Missed the parade, but been to two of them so I'm good. 1st parade I was in it with my coworkers and I held the banner advertising the company. 2nd time I took my niece and nephew to it. They were disappointed they got beads instead of candy (I did warn them they don't pass out much candy). But hey, they walked away with 10 bead necklaces so mission accomplished. I'm good.

Dream of a Secret Admirer

Had another wacky dream watching a movie tonight. This one caused a migraine. I'm so woozy I need to lie down. Anyway, the brief dream was receiving a bouquet of flowers at my job. The card reads "Call me and phone #". My vision is blurry so don't ask for the #. Then a larger card holds a photo of a woman in a wedding dress (Again vision is blurry so all I can make out is dark hair and a long sleeved wedding gown). Back says "Remember this?". My coworkers demand I get to the bottom of secret admirer. Call # and react as if I heard from a ghost. Secret admirer probably is one.

Happy Ferrets

Got some last night and still here today. Have happy ferrets ready to rumble and tumble in it.

Happy Dance

Got the okay from all parties involved to go on vacation this summer. I haven't been on vacation since 2004. I planned on going to Australia in 2008, then the Great Recession happened, next lost my job, and now finally getting back on my feet again. Since traveling alone is so boring, Mom said she would love to come with me to visit my faraway aunts (Dad's sisters) in OK and MO. Aunts are excited to see us since we haven't seen each other in years. Sister said she would watch my pets for me, her kids love playing with my animals. Now gotta pick a date.

Wedding dream again

Had my wedding dream again while working and got a splitting headache for it. I'm dancing in a halter top wedding dress this time (I have had another wedding dream where I wear long sleeves). I'm slow dancing with a handsome groom in a large room surrounded by tables. Music changes and we fast dance. I see 20ish and teenage guys wearing tuxedoes I don't recognize except for my nephew. I see 20ish and teenage bridesmaids in satin red dresses. I don't recognize some of the bridesmaids except for my nieces. Groom's side must have a large family, there's about 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, plus ushers in tuxedoes. I hold a baby boy about crawling age in a tuxedo and smile for the photographer who is a woman I know from a past job. We line up to learn the hustle from the DJ. I take turns dancing with my new stepsons who are in tuxedoes while the groom dances with the bridesmaids. Since my father is gone we altered the bride and father dance a bit. My youngest niece is shy dancing with the groom, but I tell her that he is her new uncle so give him a chance to dance with her. She does. I stop dancing for a while to tend to the baby boy, he needs bottles and diaper changes. I am suspecting this baby boy is mine. Groom's mother holds the baby for while so I can return to dancing. Photographer has the baby put in my Mom's lap to get a picture. End of the night comes and anyone left tears down the decorations and trash the plastic tablecloths. Groom's mother helps me take the top cake layer to save for our 1st Anniversary and she will bring it our house tomorrow when we return from the hotel. I hug my Mom good-bye and return her pearl necklace I'm wearing. She wishes me happiness. Everything taken care, we all leave the community center and walk out onto my hometown Main Street. We drive off in the groom's car. We get to the hotel, but I'll spare the details what happens there. I'll just say it ends with us watching TV. The next day I take my bouquet to my Dad's grave since he couldn't be there to give me away (my brother give me away). It was a good dream.

You know...

You know you are pathetic when your chiropractor's receptionist tells you that they will pray for you when discussing your lack of human companion. I've been praying for over 20 years and yet to meet Mr. Wonderful. But, said thank you anyway. Few men want a dork who loves Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

Past Men Autopsy:

There was the coworker who asked me out after I was staring at him for weeks who failed to show up for our date because he was pulled over by a cop and arrested for drugs. Then he was fired when he was caught stealing from the cash register so never saw him again. He was cute.

There was the coworker who told me after arriving for our date to never look pretty again (I had a dress and make up on). He had some baggage from his 2 ex-wives. He smoked and I have asthma so that wasn't going to work out. After a couple dates, he stopped talking to me.

There was the blind date with a smoker who wouldn't tell me anything about himself, but expected me to tell him my life story. I refused anymore dates with him.

There was the janitor who daily picked up our garbage who asked me out 4 times and I turned him down 4 times. He had a daughter close to my age and we had nothing in common. He actually gave me his phone number to call him, then got upset I never did. He died of a heart attack the same week I buried my father.

There was the married coworker whose two girlfriends left him when his wife had a baby. I reacted, "Don't look at me". Eventually he got another job.

There was the married coworker whose wife was having an affair who asked me out 4 times and I turned him down 4 times. Eventually he got fired after too many customer complaints.

There was the coworker who promised to quit smoking someday. He just hung around on my sofa and played my grandma's guitar. He then got fired and stopped talking to me. I liked him, he was fun to talk to.

There was my favorite Martian who gave me a promise ring and I like to say we were engaged for 3 weeks. I even got a Wedding Planning book. Then he broke it off cause I wasn't changing personalities and he was a big, fat liar. Pawned the promise ring for $14 (after he refused to take it back) and bought a new pair suede boots. Still have the wedding planning book covered in dust. Returning that would be giving up hope of anyone wanting to marry me.

As I tell my Mom, I just haven't found the right person yet.

Surprise for coworker

Coworker is getting a girl bull dog puppy this weekend. So while coworker was at lunch, another coworker decorated their cubicle with "It's a Girl" stuff. When they came back everybody started laughing. People walking by congratulated the coworker for their new addition.

A Wolf Dream

As I lie down in my bed drifting off to sleep I envision a spirit of a wolf in front of me. It begins to snarl and snap at me with its jaws. Finally it lunges in for the killer neck bite with its paws wrapping around my shoulders to hold me down. I know how the deer feels at this moment. Then the vision changes to me sitting in the back of a movie theater with a man having his arms wrapped around my shoulders and kissing my neck. Wish I could see his face but no, I just feel him. Then a cat jumps on the bed and paws my face. I'm back in my room again.

Wild winter

Having one heck of a winter. Rain in the morning, snow in the afternoon. Then predicted to be in 50's tomorrow so snow will be gone soon. Happy Ferrets have to enjoy the snow while they can. Ferrets love playing in the snow. They dig around and walk around with noses to the ground so they look like a snow plow. Last snowfall one ferret leaped in the air with joy and got one photo with all 4 paws off the ground. Cats hate wet paws so no enjoyment for them. Such as life.

Unchained Melody for the man who keeps appearing in dreams

Oh, my love

My darling

I hunger for your touch a long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

Godspeed your love to me

..........................

Lonely rivers flow to the sea to the sea

To the open arms to the sea

Lonely rivers sigh

wait for me, wait for me

I'll be coming home

Wait for me

.....................

Oh my love

My darling

I hunger for your touch a long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

Godspeed your love to me

Getting tired of these dreams that never come true

Funny. Just had a vison of angel fluttering its wings in front of me in my living room and in the company of a boy telling me he is coming and to wait for Daddy. Yeah, whatever. Been dreaming of giving birth since last July and have yet to meet a man to take me on date. Just another stupid dream that won't come true as usual. Please God make these dreams stop. I'm getting tired of them. I thought writing them down would make them stop, but alas, they don't stop. I'm a loss what to do. Angels in my dreams tell me to have faith and do not despair. But, that it is very hard to have faith and not despair when almost everybody abandons me whenever I simply need a friend who cares about me. I'm sure almost everybody only wants good news and hear fascinating stories of my adventures in life, then wonder why I'm silent.

Ok, I'm done ranting. Good night.

Beautiful dream

Had a beautiful dream today. I stood at an alter in a long sleeved wedding dress and handsome blond man in a tuxedo stood beside me. It was time for our wedding vows. I said:

I once met a new kid at the end of 5th grade and all girls cried, "He's so cute". You were always more than a cute face to me. You were my best friend. You stood up for me. You sat next to me when no one else would. You taught me to be strong and stand up for myself. It's your own fault I fell in love you in the 6th grade and never stopped. How can I not love you when you are so sweet to me? I know why I stand here today, because I am the one girl who asks, "What do you want?" instead of thinking only of myself. I'm the one girl who has seen your bad side, your good side, and everything in between. And I'm still here ready to commit myself to spend the rest of my life with you. Many jealous girls have told me you don't really have feelings for me. I remember you once took pictures of me and 20 other girls in bikinis for a calendar project for your photography class and the project you turned in to the teacher was all pictures of me. If that doesn't say you love me, then I don't know what would. I stand here today because I don't want to marry someone else. And I have met plenty of celebrities that would have changed my mind in an instant. But, I want to be with you. And when you're an old man with gray hair and wrinkles sitting in wheelchair alone in a nursing home, I will still love you because it was your soul I fell in love with. I promise to try to be a good wife, take care of our children, and take care of you whenever you need me to be strong. The End.

Such a lovely dream.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everybody. Hope you are having a good one.

Spent of my day at work. I have a cold so didn't smell anyone's flowers. I saw someone had roses on their desk. Came home to the furbabies and gave extra treats plus salmon water from the can to make myself some salmon patties. My Mom called to say Thank you for the heart shaped hamburger pizza and chocolate brownies I had delivered from Pizza Hut. When I told her a delivery was coming to make sure she would be there, she thought I was bringing it. Sorry, my lunch break is not that long. She said today she dressed in red with her choir wearing paper roses to sing to the Memory Care part of her Senior Living Residence.

So now I sit on my sofa with 2 cats on my lap. Life is good, I have cheese popcorn. My cats like to lick the cheese off my fingers. Ferrets crawled up to see what that cheesy smell was about. One ferret likes powdered cheese and the other likes cheese sauce. But ferrets jumped down viewing the cats (they are fearful of cats for good reason).

Had weird another dream while I was working. A week ago had a dream of a boy in the clouds who keeps telling me he is coming to me. Then he turned to an angel affirming he was ready to be born. Today this dream was viewing an angel carrying toddler who calls me Mommy (earlier dreams he looked about 7) along a cloud path from heaven to earth with a bluish haze like a tunnel. Other angels don't like me being here. They tell me to leave cause I'm frightening the children (tunnel path is filled with angels carrying toddlers or walking beside them holding their hands). I ask the angel holding the toddler calling me Mommy what I look like if I frightening the children. He lifts my hands to brush off a gray ash off my skin. Then a voice tells me not to despair, your child is coming. I sense an energy around me and then a wind blows the dust of my skin. My hands now glow with a yellow aura around them. The child asks to touch my wings. He touches my white wings and suddenly they turn into gold feathers. I realize moving my wings I have 6. Next fire begins to come out of my robes and my hands glow like flame. I hear the children walking by say, "Fire Angel". Guardian Angel announces I'm back to normal and that they must keep going or we will delay the birth that is coming. I now carry the toddler so happy to have me as his Mommy. I hear the children say how lucky the child is to have a fire angel guarding him. We see angels flying from earth carrying souls into the afterlife behind us. The guardian angel takes back the toddler and I wave good-bye saying I see him soon. I then fly back to heavenly clouds in outer space and sit on a cloud. I say a prayer that my child will come soon, I'm so tired of waiting.

Knowing my luck, I'll probably get another ferret soon. Last time I had a similar dream, it was a ferret with wings telling an angel they were ready to go home and two weeks later I bought Luthien. For 2 years, I prayed for missing ferret Arwyn to come back to me. 6 months after she went missing I had a dream of a ferret with wings surrounded by clouds so happy to see me and calling me Mommy. Had these dreams a year and half before the ferret announced to the angle she was ready to come home. Who knows what these dreams mean.

Another eclispse and comet gone by

Looked into the sky to see the lunar eclipse. Not much of an eclipse, it was grayish. Couldn't see the moon rise with buildings and trees in the way. Couldn't see any stars cause of the city lights. The only ones I see are straight above me. Wished I lived in the country or even a small town so I could see the stars. And have a telescope to see the green comet the naked eye can't see. Have to wait for my Mom to die in 10-20 years before I have money to buy a house away from the city. By then, I will be counting the days until retirement. Oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles. My dream home would have a large kitchen with an island, Master bedroom with a walk in closet, and a porch or deck to hostess family gatherings on. Naturally it needs a spare bedroom so faraway family could visit a few days.