Last day of taxes

Had my last day of filing taxes for people. Thank goodness. I get a lot crazy people in. Like people coming to my tax company expecting cheap prices (you want cheap, do it yourself on the internet). More get upset how there situation changes their tax refund results (like better paying job, divorce, or their child grows up and can't claim them anymore). I get old people who think they shouldn't pay taxes cause they are retired (lodge your complaint to Congress). Then I get people upset their refund isn't bigger than last year (it's not a contest). I try to explain that their refund is greatly dependent on how much they pay in taxes all year through their paychecks (like a interest free loan to the government). If you want a huge refund, you have pay a lot in taxes in the first place. Otherwise have several children and low income to get large earned income credit.

Even better are people expecting huge refunds because of the tax law changes. Obviously, they didn't read about what those changes were: Deductions were taken away, Exemptions were taken away so can't claim your spouse as a dependent anymore, Standard deduction raised, Child Tax Credit raised, Other Dependents Credit Invented, Business Owner credit invented, Tax rates changed, and Corporate Tax rate went down.

Leaving my tax site for the last time hit me like a brick wall. I am completely unemployed. I worked nonstop the past two weeks earning as much as I could and now it's over. Dealing with so much trauma since last year I have no tears left to cry. I feel so numb. But I can still laugh at something funny so I'm not too far gone. I have my flowers blossoming outside, my furbabies, and a phone interview tomorrow so hope that goes well. What else can I do?

Happy Palm Sunday

Worked some hours at different tax sites in my tax prep company. One employee went to jail for drunk driving and didn't know when they could come into work (they were couple hours late). Another had their baby early. And yet another employee suddenly quit. Tax preparers are dropping like flies and I can't be in multiple locations at once, so some locations are closed for the season (the ones without appointments). Earning my last dollars before the last day tomorrow and then I will be completely unemployed. Might clean my house just to do something. Working 6 days a week makes a very dirty house. Plus Misty had diarrhea after her spay so there is some poop droppings. At least she got better with antibiotics and pate canned cat food.

I got my Hyacinths and Daffodils blossoming, plus saw a bee so happy for spring's arrival. Bought some new Tulips and different colored Hyacinths. Planted more morning seeds so will see if they will grow. Got a pot and dirt to place in the front yard. Still deciding what seeds to plant in it.

Received my Cobra papers and the new insurance amount is $40 short of my mortgage payment. Can't afford that so looked online and found garbage insurance with sky high deductible that I will never reach and won't cover pre existing conditions for a year. If I am paying for all my medical costs, then what exactly am I paying insurance for? I have a HSA account so I will be okay until new insurance starts, which is usually 90 days after the start of a job.

Have job interview two days from now so crossing fingers. After taxes are done and phone interview done, I will plant my tulip and hyacinth bulbs cause I will nothing better to do.

Crazy month

Did taxes for a former coworker and his wife at my tax place. That was a surreal experience. Naturally, had to tell people at work who I ran into. Finished the kitten shots and got my furbabies fixed. I prefer not having inbred kittens and shelters have plenty so we don't need to add to the cat population. Passed out green mints and buttons on St Patrick's Day at the tax place. Some kids were more interested in the buttons that the candy. Odd.

Rescued ferret Boromir trapped under a box and caught ferret Luthien drinking out of the kitten milk bowl. Nearly slipped on ice outside the garage door when going to the grocery store where I bought Girl Scout cookies. Girl Scout cookies are a must in this part of the country. Kittens have gotten big enough to jump up on the table, which is next to the kitchen counters so they are exploring the sink and cupboards.

With all this melting of winter snow and rivers flooding, my basement had a leak and could never figure out where it was coming from. Then as fast as it appeared, it disappeared down the drain. Left message for free estimate for a plumber and they never responded so have to wait for it to happen again. Work decided to change their computer formatting so webpages took a while to get used to.

Received my annual review from my manager to receive a raise. Manager thinks I'm awesome, though loose concentration when outside forces occur like my cats dying and I work in a state of shock. Kittens locked themselves in the ferret room. They learned not to play with the door. Put away winter decorations and winter sweaters to get out the spring decorations and spring sweaters (resemble crochet instead of knitted). Work provided ice cream and live streaming of NCAA games in a training room. They even had a brackets contest with prizes to be awarded.

One kitten got diarrhea and tested at vet to find nothing wrong with them. Vet gave me special food and antibiotics. Got a Netflix free trial just to watch the movie "The Dirt" about the rock band Motley Crue. I watched it 4 times already. Can't wait for the DVD. I read the book twice. Good movie. My spring flowers hyacinths and daffodils are coming up. Pruned the rose bushes. Got a day off when my car wouldn't start. A fuse blew so recharging the battery wouldn't have helped. Discovered my air conditioner was causing the blown fuse so had to fix that for a more money I can handle. I swear I'm cursed and never going to get out of credit card debt with this stupid car constantly costly me thousands in repairs since the year and half I got it. I even asked my Mom to buy me a new car with a warranty to help my finances, she said no.

Caution was thrown in the wind when co-workers who normally ignore me were suddenly saying Good Morning and got compliment on my pretty sweater I have worn before. Let's just say I had grouchy people suddenly become friendly when I turned in 2 weeks notice and a temp job manager starting a meeting with a huge smile to tell us we will be unemployed in 2 days. I asked for an office gym pass that was offered a few weeks ago and never received it. I wondered for a week what was going on.

Then found out that I was fired on the Friday before my raise was to start. A coworker, me, and 5 other people in other sections were fired too cause work wasn't coming in like they thought. I was told to gather my belongings that moment and leave. In a state of shock and wondering how the hell I'm going to pay my never ending debt, I turned on the car in the garage hoping to obtain enough life insurance money for my family to pay off my debts. I'm a bona fide loser cause I couldn't even accomplish that (BTW, furbabies are fine). I went into convulsions from the carbon monoxide poisoning and dreamed of heaven where my dead relatives and angels welcomed me. Then a spirit I assume was my guardian angel welcomed me into heaven, then apologized cause I have to go back. Then I woke up in the garage. I guess I will have to continue drowning in debt and make my family angry with me for not being able to take care of myself like they can. I just want my family to be happy. Shame on me.

Tax manager was happy to give me extra hours since we have 2 weeks left of the season. Signed up for unemployment. Sent out Easter cards. Sending out resumes to any company advertising for an accountant. I try to take care of myself, but too many obstacles are in the way.

I'm tired of being a sad story. Now have to get ready for Easter dinner. Life goes on.

Post later.

Falling away from a faith

Read stuff on the internet debating Christian beliefs. Some think the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales while others believe the strict interpretation that it is the Word of God. With so many conflicting beliefs around the world, how does one figure out what to believe for themselves. Churches I hear have trouble recruiting young people and slowly dying out of existence as the older generation dies one by one. Well, how does generations fall away from the faith in the first place?

I can only tell you what I live. It was a long and complicated process, not a single event that caused me to be angry with God as many believe. My youth was full of attending church every Sunday, going to Vacation Bible School (I even attended a friend's church's Vacation Bible School one year). I was in the Christmas Play and helped my Mom with crafts for Vacation Bible School as a teenager. I was the weirdo who wore a dress while everyone else wore shorts. My Mom insisted we wear nice clothes to church to show respect to God. Try explaining that to other children. I also enjoyed exploring poetry and remember someone criticized my Mom during Vacation Bible School what a weirdo I was reading poetry when teenagers are supposed to party and cause trouble. Mom defended she rather have me read poetry than be passed out drunk in a ditch. After church as a kid, I would play church and Sunday school with my stuffed animals and dolls. I lined up my toys on the stairs and used a hymnal I found in our organ bench from my grandma's church (my Mom got it when they got new hymnals). That is until a sibling pointed out girls can't be preachers and only be Sunday School teachers. So I stopped playing church. And of course, there is the issue of my ability to see spirits that others do not. I've seen angels, demons, animal ghosts, and human ghosts. I will just say paintings in cathedrals are accurate. So I'm crazy and weird.

And there is the culture shift after the Women's Liberation Movement. Churches conduct business as if it never happened, though some will allow women priests and play more modern music now. Women in my church were allowed to set up the communion and wash the tiny cups, but not serve it. An elder and priest served communion (elders and church council were all men). Someone talked my Dad into being church treasurer. My Mom did all the work (I helped write things down for her) and all my Dad did was read a report my Mom typed up cause women can't be church council members. Girls were not allowed to be acolytes until my church voted to allow it causing the church to split into 2 congregations that occurred after I left. Even better was a priest stating in Bible Study to the adults that no where in Bible does it say homosexuals are not human and don't deserve God's love. He was asked to leave the church because of that. I gather many adults relive their childhood at church. They want doctrine they had as a child and sing hymns that are familiar to them. Then the generations after them want to change the church to fit in with the way they grew up as latchkey kids with working mothers and going to rock concerts. Some leave the church while others come during important events.

I would say I started to fall away around age 12. That was when view of God from a loving, kind, father we can turn to in need shifted to a jealous and angry God who will send us to Hell if we commit a sin. I understand an adult need to control rebellious teenagers, but Fear of Hell looses its grip in the face of God's forgiveness. I got a whiff of adult self-righteousness, snobbery, hypocrisy, not practicing what they preach, and having no answers to questions (Why are black animals from the devil and need to be punished with abuse for being born the wrong color of fur?). Plus had a relative stop coming to church cause in a sermon the priest criticized people who don't regularly go to church when they wanted to be uplifted. Why do I have to attend church when others do not? You can call me Anti-Organized Religion, but Atheist is easier to say.

Devout Adult Christians I have met are not fun cause there is no air around them, constantly quote things instead of giving an opinion, and go off the deep end declaring people as fake Christians and condemning people who believe a different ideology will go to Hell. And then they are confused why so few follow them. Rarely do I find Christian love your neighbor as yourself philosophy in adult devout Christians (priests are usually the exception in this). Every time I go to a rock concert there is always someone standing outside shouting we are all going to Hell for attending this evil concert. I had relatives telling me I'm damned to Hell for no longer going to church. Which is awkward defending Christianity to Atheists who are more Anti-Christianity than Anti-God. Atheists can call the Bible poppycock, I see it more as a history book of an ethnic group. I have a passion for mythology which historians are looking at more like a history of events that took place in the Stone Age. Troy was thought to be a fairy tale until someone in the 1800's found it. Some believe the fairy tale Atlantis was the island Thera/Santorini.

Now what would bring me back to church every Sunday, you ask? Many have invited me to their church and hear me reply in the negative. Well, my Mom has been trying to Bring Me Back to the Faith for the past 30 years so what makes anyone think they could do any better? I have been to church for baptisms, confirmations, and weddings. Since I was godmother to my niece I took communion at her confirmation though haven't taken it since. I became good at doing the motions without the emotions which few can understand. Some might call it acting.

I have taken to watching church services on Sundays which I tell nobody about. Mainly because I was so angry for a time period and I had no idea why. Then one night a dark spot appeared on the bedroom wall and got bigger to the size of a door. A creature with a buffalo head, man's chest and arms with claws, bovine legs and hooves, and complete with a buffalo tassel-tip tail. I laid in my bed terrified. The spirit jumped me and it felt like my soul was on fire. I had visions of murdering my neighbors (who were nice people and never wish to hurt them). I battled the spirit thinking of my family, my pets, dancing in ballet shoes, and singing to fill my soul with love. It finally jumped out growling like one of my cats. Then, an angel came down from the ceiling and laid beside me. It ordered the spirit to leave. It left through the black door and the dark spot got smaller until it disappeared. I asked the angel what that thing was and it answered the devil. Angel presence was warm and calm. So started watching church services to clear the apartment of evil spirits with holy words. Moving into a house, I saw dark shadows in the bedroom where I sleep. In fact, a cat refused to enter the room ever since I saw a white ghost light floating around. My cat meowed when it floated above him. It would stop at the threshold terrified to go in the room. I again, became angry for no reason so started hanging a cross on the doorknob. The air feels different. I do pray for a better life and it stays the same. Prayed for a husband for over 3 years and still haven't found anyone I want to be with. Maybe if I got married and had a child I would return to the church cause I would wish my child to know God. My family is Christian so it would feel normal returning to the church.

Happy Mardi Gras

Had freezing rain and thunder in February. I didn't know what was worse: the hills, the curves, or the potholes. Then it turned into snow. We finally got enough snow for ferret Boromir to experience his first snow tunnels. Eowyn and Luthien had to show him how to dig them first. Neighbor with a snowblower been doing my driveway this year. Guess he got tired of watching me rest on my front stoop. I offer cocoa, but he won't accept it. I try. Explained to family his snowblower wouldn't fit in my garage with the car in it so shovel for me. Polar Vortex making certain rooms cold so I bought new curtains, doing their job keeping light and cold out of the rooms. Don't want to overwork the furnace when it's 10 below outside. Been waking up to kittens in my bed, very nice to wake up to purring in my ear.

Kittens been escaping out the door into the garage when coming home. Yeah, they don't last long out there. Take off my coat, change into my slippers, and they are ready to come back in. Celebrated ferret Boromir's 2nd Birthday with Valentine cupcakes (ferrets love frosting) and a romp in the snow completed with cocoa (ferrets love cocoa w/marshmellows). Spent Valentine's Day working 2 jobs and dropping off candy package for my Mom in between. I have no lover to celebrate with so I rather be working. Sister reached the Big 5-0 to celebrate at an Italian restaurant and saw a movie. Had my first taste of calmari, tasted like my fish patties. I missed the movie shoveling my driveway for hours (9 inches fell the night before). Neighbor with snowblower came after movie was over.

Lost red female beta Nyx I had a couple years and white female Beta Pandora I got a month ago. Got new female Beta adults Danae (blue) and Leda (white). My male blue Beta Erebus I got as a baby a while ago died and replaced with blue/white male Beta named Achilles. Work is doing reviews for raises. Scrapped the bonus program that replaced raises to find half the workforce leaving for new jobs (more or less). Celebrated ferret Luthien's 3rd Birthday with cupcakes. That brought out the ants and laid out an ant trap. Then freaked when caught Luthien licking it. Guess a small amount (5% according to the box) of Borax won't kill a pet, but of course don't take chances. Kittens are coming around to sniff out and wave paws at the ferrets who have stopped trying to drag them under the sofa. Getting bigger than the ferrets I suppose.

Happy Mardi Gras.

Another cold day in Iowa

New Year started with introducing my kittens Bilbo and Misty to my ferrets. Luthien ferret keeps displaying her dominance by biting their necks and shaking them them, which makes them scream. Took a month and half, but she is getting less aggressive. After a couple days, had to take kittens to vet when goo started coming out of their eyes. Upper respiratory infection was the diagnosis and given antibiotics. Introduced the kittens to the family who love to play with the new furbabies. Started working for an Income Tax Prep company, I hope one of these days to be an Enrolled Agent and make lots of money. Right now, I need it to pay off debt (these student loans are killing my saving capabilities). We finally got snow in January and ferrets were happy to swim in it. One even made a snow tunnel. Kittens got their paws in the snow and backed away from it. Lost female Beta fish Ananke that I got as a baby and was growing bigger every day. Neighbor saw me resting from shoveling my driveway (I have asthma) and offered to use his snowblower to finish my work.

Took Mom to my Dad's cousins reunion at a pizza place. So nice of them to invite her. Lost male Beta fish Atlas Jr that I got full grown. My ferret Luthien was dubbed the The Brave when she was the only ferret to go outside during the polar vortex, then I knew it was really cold when even SHE refused to go outside and turned around to scamper between my feet. Got new Beta fish Aeneas and Pandora, both full grown. Had a asthma attack at work and had to leave early. Adopted 2 Bonded Buddy dogs from the shelter during one of their specials. I kept them 1 day after they peed on my furniture and growling at the ferrets/kittens. Once a dog attacked a kitten, I had to take them back. I was not the right home for them. Lost the internet and my phone connection so had to wait a couple days for the technician to fix the problem. Had adventure driving home in freezing rain when car decided to skid and spin 180 degrees to come to a stop. I was happy not hitting an oncoming car. Driving around in this snow and ice, I can't decide which is worse: the curves, the hills, or the potholes.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Had a lovely Christmas Day at my Mom's apartment with sister's family. Took turns choosing Christmas specials to watch. Niece and nephew liked their gifts of slippers/gloves/gift card. Mom loved her chocolate present.

Back to work the next day and rest of the week. We had a cubicle decorating contest and the top manager's kids were the judges. Our section was Santa's Workshop and I was Mrs. Claus. On my desk, I put down black paper to create stove and made a tray of gingerbread cookies from construction paper. I should have brought cookie cutter for the gingerbread men cause my free hand figures were less tidy. Since I brought treats for coworkers and gave a Christmas specials/movies quiz to get the grand prize Champagne cupcake, I left a few cookies and piece of fudge for the judges. I think they might have tipped the scale in our favor. Anyway, we are getting chicken strip lunch as a reward. Took down everything today. I grabbed a couple boxes to use for storage.

New Year's Eve I'm getting kittens from a friend. I commented how empty the house feels with my cats gone (ferrets spend most of the day in their room) and friend offered a kitten from her cat. I said I would take 2. So I will have a very Happy New Year.

Christmas Story 2018

Twas the night before Christmas and I could hardly bare it

Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret

The stockings were hung on the bookcase with care

With hopes of St Nicholas soon would be there

Mama in bed taking a long nap

As Eowyn, Luthien, and I waited with the Santa trap

Visions of red toys and dangling Christmas balls

Filled my dreams of what this Christmas thing befalls

When all of a sudden there popped such a spark

Eowyn jumped up to find it was all dark

A streetlight went out and trees covered in ice

No longer dimly sparkled, which was very nice

The moon glowing upon the new fallen snow

Covering the mushy leaves unraked below

When what to my wondering ferret eyes should appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer

With a little old driver so bright red and quick

I so badly wanted give that toy a lick

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Jingles Now Jangles Now Ivy and Holly

On Snowball On Sparkle On Tinsel and Jolly

To the top of the porch to the top of the wall

Now dash away dash away dash away all

As right before Luthien yawned the wild flurries whirled

Our hearts danced and us ferrets twirled

So up to the rooftop the coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of toys and St Nicholas too

And then, in an instant we heard on the roof

the scratching and pawing of each little hoof

As I drew in my head and jumped over a ball

In the door St Nicholas tripped over the light cord to fall

The sprung trap lit the tree and Santa let out a yell

And the vibrations shook the decorations to ring like a bell

He got up and placed the decorations back

And I took the opportunity to crawl into his sack

I had drunken all the milk so Eowyn got more

He ate the sugar cookies we had set on the floor

While Luthien heated the cocoa in a wag of a tail

I gave him a napkin from his bag without fail

His face was red like a cherry as he went Ho, ho, ho

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth like a charm

And the smoke blew up to set off the smoke alarm

To unplug the battery he swiftly rushed

Then took a look at us and rightly blushed

He was chubby and plump a right jolly old elf

And I squeaked when he petted us in spite of myself

All over his boots we rubbed our fur

Then I heard mama beginning to stir

Santa spoke not a word, but finished his cookies

He filled up the stockings, even for us rookies

Then laying a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, out the door he rose

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a holler

And away they all flew as we furbabies got taller

But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night

Christmas Letter 2018

Merry Christmas to my dear friends and family. Slept in the New Year and enjoyed the next day off. Drove Mom to my Dad's cousins’ reunion at a pizza place. Attended a baby shower for my cousin having her first child, a boy she gave birth to a couple months later. Started volunteering for VITA again (my 4th year) answering newbie questions and checking their work. Celebrated ferret Boromir's 1st Birthday. Had fun shoveling the driveway from all of our snowfall the old-fashioned way. A snow blower would be just another machine I don’t know how to use, plus got to gas up and fix when parts break. Spent Valentine's Day at work and then doing taxes for VITA. Sent Mom a Heart shaped pizza and brownies. Watched the Winter Olympics on TV. Celebrated cat Precious's 12th Birthday. Celebrated ferret Luthien's 2nd Birthday. Missed the St. Patrick's Day parade because it was just too cold outside to enjoy it so spent the day at home doing house chores.

In the spring, I enjoyed the blooms from the bulbs I planted the prior autumn. I hosted Easter dinner with Mom and sister’s family in attendance. Celebrated cat Frodo’s 12th Birthday. Attended my niece's confirmation. Two neighbors’ trees fell into my yard and crushing the fences so had to keep cats inside until fences were fixed by the neighbors (and one tree broke my glass birdbath). Had Mother's Day dinner with my sisters' families with Mom at a restaurant. Hired a lawn care company since nephew wasn't out of school yet and they ran over my Miniature Roses and Dutch Iris so no blooms from them this year. My male Beta Pontus died after a year from getting him full grown and became first fish to be buried in backyard. I visited cemeteries on Memorial Day with family.

In the summer, I got a baby male Beta named Erebos. I snaked my first drain. Ordered a new birdbath via internet since it was sold out in the store and it arrived broken so returned it to store. I will have to wait to get a new one next year. Visited Dad at the cemetery for Father's Day and played Taps on my smartphone for him. Had a chipmunk in my house a couple weeks before it left. Got a trap for the rodent, but all I caught was Luthien licking the peanut butter. Some coworkers got hit with Floods of 2018 and I was happy to be living on a slope. Plus, happy my sewer didn’t back up into my basement and drown my ferrets (ferret room is in the basement). Enjoyed 4th of July Urbandale celebrations with sister's family and Mom. My male Beta Helios I got last year as a baby died and got a baby male Beta named Atlas. Dryer broke so hung wet clothes up outside on a clothesline. Thank goodness the prior house owner left behind clothes pins or would have been screwed. Took the heavier items to Mom’s to dry and then brought over all laundry every week until the dryer was fixed. Had ferret Eowyn and cat Precious catch the sniffles and after a couple weeks got better. Had panic attack when getting cats back inside from the backyard when noticed an owl (it hooted) in my walnut tree. Had another panic attack when Frodo disappeared from the yard squeezing through a gap between fence post and gate. I found him a couple hours later in the front yard bush. Celebrated my Mom's 79th birthday at her apartment. My great-niece was ready to jump out the window to swim at the water park next door. During my Staycation, went to the local amusement park, zoo, and pool swimming with sister's family.

Nephew celebrated his 14th Birthday with his father's side 90 miles from us so we got together later at Mom’s place to give him presents. And then, poor Precious with a lung infection making him cough became worse from not eating compounded by fleas to die in August. Frodo took Precious's death hard and stopped eating. I had to spoon feed him for a month. Then started walking strange so took to the vet for an arthritis diagnosis. Took nephew and sister out miniature golfing as a thank you for helping me with my yardwork. Female Beta Eos I got last year as a baby died so got a new female Beta Metis. Celebrated my 43rd birthday with family at at a restaurant. My Metis lasted 5 days before dying so got a baby girl Beta named Ananke who is getting bigger and now a young lady. Went to niece’s and nephew's piano recital. Taught nephew how to remove a bush, he loved using the axe.

Autumn arrived celebrating Eowyn's 5th birthday. Got hired on to a Tax prep company so will earn extra money next year. Carved Jack o' lanterns with snoopy ferrets ready to poke their heads in the holes. Beggar's Night was fun with 9 kids coming to my door. Last group of 4 petted Boromir. I picked him up to prevent escape out the door and kids thought he was so cute to ask to pet him. He was a good boy. Next, Male Beta Atlas died. I got him this summer as a baby and he was growing up to be a beautiful male fish. Shortly after, got a new male fully grown and named him Atlas Jr. Through the fall Frodo lost weight and finally died in November when I was at work. Celebrated niece's 15th birthday at a restaurant. Commenting how strange it is sleep without a cat and no longer have the cat alarm waking me up demanding breakfast, a friend offered a kitten born in November to me. I replied I could take two. So I will have to wait a couple months to collect when they are weaned from their mother. My heart is healing.

Went to brother's house for Thanksgiving and went out with sister's family for Black Friday specials. Put up my Mom's Christmas decorations for her. Ferrets are happy to play in the boxes and under the tree skirt as I put out my own decorations. Had a friend help with new icicle lights on the roof shingles. I think I’ll leave them up there all year and just put away the yard decorations. Will celebrate Christmas at Mom’s place, both Christmas Day and Extended Family Christmas. Now aren’t you glad I keep an online journal to remember all this. Have a Wonderful New Year,

Jordan Harvey Eoywn (ferret) Luthien (ferret) Boromir (ferret) Nyx (fish) Erebos (fish) Ananke (fish) Atlas Jr. (fish)

Another Thanksgiving done and Black Friday gone

Celebrated niece's 15th birthday at a buffet restaurant. She loved my gift of Skechers shoes. Who doesn't love Skechers? Friend offered her kittens just born the week before to me since I'm in misery missing my kitties. So have to wait a couple months to collect when they are weaned from their mother. My heart is healing.

Went to brother's house for Thanksgiving and went out with sister's family for Black Friday specials. Not very many good sales if allowed to say that. Anything I badly want is often not on sale. Did get a ladder and new icicle lights for my roof. It's so pretty. Next got a vacuum and attachment to clean the dryer vent so maybe my clothes will come out dry instead of moist. Dryer just got serviced last summer and parts put on to make it work again. Put up my Mom's Christmas decorations for her. I got my decorations and ferrets are happy to play in the boxes and under the tree skirt.

Returned to work to put up my Christmas tree and garland at my desk. Everybody loves my candy cane lights. Now have work on Christmas letter and Christmas Story of ferrets trying trap Santa Claus. No cats in the story this time.

RIP Frodo

I got a new white male Beta fish and named him Atlas Junior last weekend.

Today Frodo cat died. I was worried last night from his getting lethargic on me and refusing to eat (I played Elvis songs for him), but at bedtime he perked up to drink some water. Then this morning I saw he ate a little food during the night. He was meowing the second he heard me stir in my bed. I gave him his medicine and went to work. Came home and he was gone. Ferrets paid their respects before I covered him with rose petals and wrapped him in a blanket I got from the nearby store. Too dark and ground too cold to dig a grave tonight, so will bury him tomorrow after work. At least, I don't have to worry about Frodo anymore like I have the past 2 months. Frodo was 12 years old so he has lived his life.

Winter Almost Here

Celebrated Eowyn ferret's 5th birthday with cupcake. Ferrets love frosting and I eat the cupcake. Frodo cat got a can of tuna.

Spoon fed Frodo until he started eating on his own again. Took the pets out to enjoy the days of warm weather. Frodo finally quit hiding and strengthened his arm muscles to move around while dragging his bottom half. He even went outside on warm days and enjoyed some fresh air.

Email got hacked again and discovered a device in another country was synced to my email. Lodged the typical complaints but who knows if anything happened to the people who hacked me.

We had tornadoes near my Mom's hometown and my hometown. Many friends and family in the danger zones. Don't know how many tornadoes are normal for October.

Had to rent Joan Jett's Documentary Bad Reputation online cause it wasn't playing in my area of the world. Loved it and highly recommend it.

Had some flurries that didn't stay long enough to count toward the 1st Snow Contest a TV station has every year so no snow blower awarded to anyone yet.

Celebrated Boss's Day by giving my manager a breakfast and lunch buffets. We coworkers gave her a gift card as well. My manager's manager got a gift card for a manicure from the office.

Got hired on to a tax preparation company so will earn extra money and hopefully pay off my vet bills among other bills.

Carved Jack o' lanterns with snoopy ferrets ready to poke their heads in the holes. Beggar's Night was fun with 9 kids coming to the my door. Last group of 4 petted Boromir ferret. I picked him up to prevent escape out the door and kids thought he was so cute to ask to pet him. He was a good boy. Work had a Halloween costume contest and Chili cook off. I didn't win any prizes, but got free lunch.

Saw Bohemian Rhapsody in the theater. March to November is a long wait.

Vanquished the fleas for the large part. Found a flea med that kills fleas in 6 hours so here's hoping.

Sent in my Absentee Ballot and happy Election Day is over.

New White Beta male fish Atlas died. I got him this summer as a baby and he was growing up to be a beautiful male fish. Nothing else to report.

Adventures at the Vet

Sad week. Took Frodo to the vet from his limping (he resembles a seal on land) and received the news he has arthritis in his hips and knees, plus a small solid mass the size of a pea in his tummy tissue. He was greatly traumatized at the vet going through blood test, urine test, claws clipped, and X-rays. He was happy to return home. Giving him his pain meds and now he stopped eating. Had to inform the family that we might be saying good-bye to Frodo if he doesn't recover his eating. And got a another huge vet bill I have to put on the credit card. Such as life, at least for me anyway.

Autumn is Coming

Well, my black walnut tree has dropped tons of walnuts in my yard that nobody wants, not even squirrels who eat my peanuts. Nephew celebrated his birthday with his father's side 90 miles from us so we got together later to give him presents. He received a zipper sweatshirt from me. It was a little big so probably went back to the store to be exchanged. Got new parts for the dryer so it is completely fixed. Couldn't afford to renew the warranty so will hope for the best and replace appliances if I must. Got the teeth cleaned at the dentist's office. Got a coupon in the mail so got a hair cut at the salon (6 inches whacked off). I said I wanted job getting hair. I have yet to have an interview to test it out and soon it will grow out. Frodo cat took Precious cat's death hard and let the ferrets he usually smacks near him. He needed a buddy. Then he started hiding in the closet to escape the flea spray (I thought) so when I got a flea foam he came out and last night he slept in bed the first time in a week. Took nephew and sister out miniature golfing. Nephew had said some family are so competitive that they take the fun out of games so in our miniature golf adventure, we didn't keep score.

Female Beta fish Eos died so got a new female Metis. Celebrated my 43rd birthday (tell no one) with family at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Brought Angel Food Cake to work and only 2 out of a dozen co-workershad a piece. My Metis lasted 5 days before dying so got a baby girl Beta named Ananke. Had a tailgate party at work and brought a giant cookie to work that was mostly eaten. Went to niece and nephew's piano recital. Did a phone interview for a job and a few days later received the rejection email. Chopped weeds in the yard and taught nephew how to remove a mulberry bush. Oh yeah, and picked burs out of my sister's shorts. Neighbor dog found his way into my yard so neighbor had to fix the fence (a loose piece could be moved and dog crawled under the fence). Out of state relative came over and dinner with them with the family. Still dealing with fleas that probably won't really go away until it's cold. Tried to bake oatmeal cookies, but short a half cup flour so cookies baked into mush. Another co-worker bit the dust so we said our good-byes and good lucks with their new job. I'm wondering when my turn will come.

Nothing else to report.

RIP Precious

My cat Precious died last night. I buried him in the backyard after work tonight and sang Amazing Grace for him. I got him from a friend who insisted I take kitten her cat had (1 of 9). Precious had a twin who looked just like him. Her son picked Precious for me cause he was so sweet and I had a sweet disposition. I got him at 9 weeks old and 2.2 pounds. Tiny shrimp of a cat I called him. He grew bigger and his heaviest weight was 22 pounds. Had someone take his picture because he was the biggest cat he ever saw as we were outside. Vet techs said he looked like a Maine Coon. Actually had someone say their friend wanted a Maine Coon cat and asked me how much I wanted for Precious. I replied he was not for sale and continued our walk. Yes, I got Precious to walk on a leash. Actually he walked around sniffing everything and I just followed him. He loved to chase feathers and his buddy Frodo I adopted from a shelter. Later on I got a ferret that the cats didn't like and it was comical watching Faramir the ferret chasing Precious around the apartment. He loved drinking out of the kitchen faucet and getting in the fridge. He has been with me in 2 apartments and now a house. He loved my house backyard where he didn't have to wear a harness. He relaxed on the concrete bench and I brought him bowls of ice on hot days and he wouldn't come inside. At age 12, he lived a full life. He will be missed.

I am the Master of Weird Dreams

Kept having a recurring dream this week while I was working.

It is 1981, I'm 5 years old, and I'm sitting alone at an airport, I think Kansas City but not sure. I am on my way to Los Angeles to be in the Annie movie as an orphan extra (if you spot a girl in pigtails cause Mom kept my hair short wearing a lavender dress with white shirt that was me). My Mom went to the rest room and I sit on a bench singing to myself. A man walks by and sits on the bench a couple feet way. I do a double take at the man cause I recognize him as Freddie Mercury. I shake with excitement and shock. You're Freddie Mercury, I gasp and sing a bit of Another One Bites the Dust. Yep, that's my song, the man says. The rest of the band arrive and Mr. Mercury offers a band autograph for me. I have no paper and pen. They grab pen and paper to sign it. I ask what it says cause I haven't started school yet to read it myself. Mr. Mercury points to the 4 names and To the Songbird (cause I was singing when he walked by). They wave good-bye and I sit with my autographed paper. My Mom arrives and I explain who she just missed. We go to the gate and I chat to myself looking at books, sing to my Mom, and we board the plane.

Then after while on the plane, I have to go the rest room. There is a man in front of me. Seeing I am holding my crotch and jumping around, he lets me go ahead of him. It's Brian May. I come out and Oh, it's you again. He recognizes the songbird from the airport bench. I return to my seat next to Mom. The stewardess comes over and asks if I would like to sit up front in 1st Class behind the curtain for the remainder of the trip. I sit with the band Queen drinking from champagne glasses. I am offered a Sprite. I comment how a ghost of an old lady was behind them and one of their grandmothers had died recently. We have conversation until we land and I return to my seat next to Mom. We run into each other getting off the plane at the gate. We waved good-bye a second time. My Mom orders me "Come on" and comments how strange the band looks. Mr. Mercury replied, "I may look weird, but I'm not the one having an affair." Mom is shocked I said that to them and yanks on my arm to leave. We arrive at the movie studio and movie orphans were excited I met the band Queen.

But I know it is just a weird dream cause Queen was touring in South America in 1981 so they never would have met me in North America that year. It was a nice dream though.

Midsummer Happenings

Survived the flooding in Des Moines. Walnut Creek that flooded was north of my journey to work so got to work okay. Got rid of 2 shrubs along my house. Had to use an axe to whack the wood trunk apart. Don't have to worry about it anymore. Day before the 4th of July, got off work early so stopped at the grocery store. Got a nail in my tire and rushed to mechanic before they closed to get it fixed. Spent 4th of July with Mom and sister's family. Got a stash of parade candy from niece and nephew so shared it at work. It took about a week but it did disappear. When I came into work the next day, the computers were down from a power surge frying the server so ended up with the day off.

Lost my male Beta Helios I got as a baby and got another baby Atlas. 2 fish buried in the backyard now. Claims adjuster informed me that my roof leakage is not from storm damage, but normal wear and tear so insurance won't cover it. Got 2 interviews for new jobs. One employer called my home phone while I was at work so no interview cause they refuse to call my cell phone while I'm on my lunch break. Dryer broke down on me so happy I had clothes line poles in backyard. Tied a string and grabbed clothes pins prior owners left behind and hung up the clothes the old fashioned way. Hung my heavy towels and jeans on chairs to take to Mom's place to dry them. Had to take the next week a whole laundry basket full to Mom's to clean since the dryer fixer had to order a new cord (old cord was fried in a power surge).

Had a ferret and cat catch the sniffles and after a couple weeks got better. Came home from work and after lifting up the garage door, the car won't start. Had it towed and I need a new ignition system cause it's been fried. Have to use separate keys for door and ignition now. I drove a car in the 90's so I can handle the 2 key concept. When got the car back, they bumped the antenna so had to return the next day for them to reconnect the antenna to play the radio. Between car, roof, and dryer, I'm asking God what is the next issue I have to deal with. I feel so cursed. Had panic attack when getting cats back inside from the backyard when noticed an owl in a tree (it hooted) in my walnut tree. Owl was the size of my cats.

Got estimates for the roof repair, the 1st one was way too high. Several roofers were booked up for months and went with the one who could come the following week after their lower estimate. Came to work to find the water shut off for repairs. My coworkers were happy when it came back so they could have coffee. My Staycation began with a job interview in person and was told the District Manager would contact me within a week. Manager never contacted me so I guess I was not desired. What they wanted was a CPA who would sell their brand and work for next to nothing. Yeah, I can tell you how to sell your brand: Good product people can't live without and good customer service. My sister says I don't get jobs cause I'm not pretty. Yeah sure, I interview with women so I'm sure they are not looking at my bosom size nor pretty/ugly face when determine my qualifications for the job.

Celebrated my Mom's 79th birthday. My great-niece was ready to jump out the window to swim at the water park next door. Went to the local amusement park with sister's family. Bought a funnel cake with ice cream I shared. Niece and nephew seem to enjoy it as much as me. Flea issues returned though ferrets get them worse than the cats. Gave ferrets a Dawn bath rubbing the dishwashing soap on them. Black clouds flew over my city without a drop of rain, but then 12 tornadoes appeared in towns east of my city. One town had 2 tornadoes. Amazing there were no fatalities. Went to zoo and pool swimming with sister's family. Experienced my Mom's pool that is heated. I had to do that more often.

Work gained 2 new clients so coworkers were shifted around. I hope I get a new job soon. If I made one friend somewhere, I might deal with my stress better. But, people always run away from me, then avoid me (my next door neighbor I was getting to know has done this) to leave me wondering what I said wrong. Was it the cats, the ferrets, the Beta fish, my dead end job, or my overbearing family? Started exercising again to lessen my flab exploding out of my clothes. I can't afford a new wardrobe. My managers manager gave us Marcos' pizza for a job well done last month. We joked this was our bonus since we didn't get our 2nd quarter bonus from lack of revenue. Dryer fixer had to order new parts and will come next week to complete the dryer repair. He got it to run so I could dry my clothes, but other parts needed ordering to complete repair.

Hope August is better. All I ever wanted was a career and a family and so far been denied both. I guess I'm asking too much from life.

Summer Half Gone

May adventures included door leaking water, had a thunderstorm where rotating clouds passed over my city (but no funnel cloud came down), went on a date with a man I met on online dating site to find a codependent dud, had a neighbor's tree fall into my yard so had to keep cats inside until fence was fixed (and tree broke my glass birdbath), had Mother's Day dinner with 2 sisters and Mom (Mom got a dozen of red roses), hired a lawn care company since nephew wasn't out of school yet and they ran over my Miniature Roses and Dutch Iris so no blooms from them this year, let the ferrets have yard time to have them be naughty trying to escape so privilege was taken away, my pink male Beta Pontus died after a year from getting him full grown and became first fish to be buried in backyard, received a phone call for a job offer and returned the call to find the voicemail box full so couldn't leave a message, got interest from a temp agency to find I don't really want to go down the temp road again (the job I responded to was a direct hire), work brought in new vending machines, work had a cornhole tournament and we were given free bomb pops to watch the finals, work decided to let us wear shorts for causal Fridays, and I visited cemeteries on Memorial day with Mom and 2 sisters.

June came with Han Solo movie I saw in the theater, Frodo disappeared through the hole between gate and fence post to be found in bush in the front yard, bought a new blue baby male Beta named Erebos, snaked my first drain, weeded the yard, applied for the Homestead Credit, got a new inhaler so I can do yard work without an asthma attack, had to take the car in 3 times in one week, ordered new birdbath via internet since sold out in store and it arrived broken so returned it to store and have to wait to get new one next year, visited Dad at the cemetery for Father's Day and played Taps on my smartphone for him, mowed a third of my yard when nephew got tired (I never have mowed a lawn before) and had an asthma attack and happy I got a new inhaler, did a phone interview for another job offer, had a chipmunk in my house a couple weeks before it left, cooked dinner for visiting aunt and family, door flew open after I thought I shut it and ferrets got out and one made it to the neighbor's deck who knocked on my door to give it back in the pouring rain, and roof started dripping in 2 places so have to get roof fixed.

July begins getting rid of 2 shrubs near the house, floods of 2018 hit Des Moines and felt lucky my house in on a slope, had to take car in when nail found a way into a tire, enjoyed 4th of July Urbandale celebrations with sister's family and Mom, returned to work to find computers were down so got the day off, blue male Beta Helios I got last year as a baby died and got a white male named Atlas, another job offer came with phone interview later this week and in person interview for another job offer next week when I take vacation, and dryer broke so hung wet clothes up outside on a clothesline. Thank goodness the prior house owner left behind clothes pins or would have been screwed.

Nothing else to report.

Congratulations to Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Well, Diana's second son got married to an American. I bet she would be so proud and give the new Duchess of Sussex a hug. I missed the entrance of the wedding, but got woken up by a hungry cat to switch the TV on to see some of it. It was nice to see Sarah behind her daughters and ex-husband (since she wasn't invited to William's wedding). I wish them happiness and present this poem.

If I were to write a poem
For your big wedding day
I would use silly words
and try to make it rhyme.

If I were to write a poem
for a once sweet young boy
I would say I'm proud of you
and have a joyous time.

If I were to write a poem
For your wish come true
I would wish I could be there
but natural forces pulled us apart.

If I were to write a poem
for Henry and Meghan
I would give them a big hug
from the bottom of my heart.

If I were to write a poem
for a delightful couple
I would toast the love birds
and present you the only copy.

Emily Dickinson poem

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.