Roommate Temper Tantrum

Wow, roommate had one of his temper tantrums over an open door when I let cats out in early morning. Won't go into all details of his complaints (which I replied, If I'm so unbearable then leave). But he is still very upset about my Mom's eulogy (she died last year) cause I said nice things about her like I loved her, when she was a manipulative and violent bipolar control freak during my childhood. Now he refuses to believe me that she was abusive when I don't hate her. Well a lot things happened since my childhood. And we got along much better when I was on my own and put up boundaries so she eventually let go trying to control every aspect of my life. It greatly upset her that nobody needed her anymore. It took many years for me to forgive her (around my 30's I let go of the anger and healed). Then I got into financial trouble and she gave me money to keep me from from being homeless. Not from kindness, but from unwilling to explain to people that her daughter was homeless. Let me say my siblings and I failed to cry much at the funeral. Her death felt more like relief we can stop taking care of her than sadness that she was gone.

Then he goes off how I'm evil cause I said once I wanted her to die to get her money. Um, no, I don't recall saying that. If I said something like that it was from watching her suffer. She had heart issues for years and health was failign for months. She couldn't walk when I visited during Christmas 2 months before she died. She had to eat puree foods from food getting stuck in esophagus. Last time I visited her, I ended up feeding her cause she was too weak to lift the spoon to her mouth. Did he expect trash her in my eulogy being read to her sisters and cousins? Well siblings were afraid I would and my sister kept telling me not to do it cause I will cry (which I didn't and was a complete statue). I explained that would be inappropriate to do. I stated facts on how my parents met, her clubs and charity work, and one thing she passed on to her daughters was baking from scatch. I didn't think I said anything about loving her. Since then, had many dreams of of my Mom talking to me and suddenly wake up yelling "Mommy" and gasping for air like an anxiety attack. She drove me crazy, but was also the one person who calmed me down. I understand he has problems with his own controlling mom who abandoned him and hasn't spoken to her for years. I healed from that maybe he will heal to.