Christmas Story 2017

Twas the night before Christmas and through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a toy mouse

The stockings were hung on the bookcase with care

With hopes of St Nicholas soon would be there

The cats in the kitchen and mama in bed

Eowyn, Luthien, and I slept in the basement after being fed

Visions of red toys and dangling Christmas balls

Filled my dreams of what this Christmas thing befalls

When out on the lawn there was a loud POP

I sprang from the ferret room and saw the cats lollop

Away to the window I bounced like a bunny

Then Precious and Frodo came running

The moon glowing upon the new fallen snow

Covering the mushy leaves unraked below

When what to my wondering ferret eyes should appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer

With a little old driver so bright red and quick

I so badly wanted give that toy a lick

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Jingles Now Jangles Now Ivy and Holly

On Snowball On Sparkle On Tinsel and Jolly

To the top of the porch to the top of the wall

Now dash away dash away dash away all

As right before the wild flurries whirled

The cats danced and us ferrets twirled

So up to the rooftop the coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of toys and St Nicholas too

And then, in an instant we heard on the roof

the scratching and pawing of each little hoof

As I drew in my head and was turning around

Santa arrived at the door in a single bound

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back

And he looked like a shoplifter opening his sack

Precious drank all the milk so Frodo got more

He ate the sugar cookies we had set on the floor

While Eowyn heated the cocoa in a tail’s wag

I took the opportunity to crawl into his bag

His face was red like a cherry as he went Ho, ho, ho

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The cold air his jaws held tight in his teeth

And his breath encircled his head like a wreath

He tripped over the tree light cord to fall

And the vibration shook the decorations right off the wall

His eyes were kind as he scratched my cheek

As Luthien gave him a napkin to let out a squeak

He placed the decorations back where they were

Then I heard mama beginning to stir

Santa spoke not a word, but finished his cookies

He filled up the stockings, even for us rookies

Then laying a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, out the door he rose

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a holler

And away they all flew as we furbabies got taller

But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night

Christmas Letter 2017

Merry Christmas to all my family and friends. I spent my New Year's Eve with a lethargic ferret scared he was going to die right in my arms. Skin was all purple, not eating or drinking. New Year's Day he was more alert and drinking water so I was happy. Come Monday, he was still struggling to tinkle so off to the vet we went. Tests showed he had an infection causing bladder stones and given antibiotics. After 2 days at the vet’s office, he went into kidney failure and I brought Faramir home to die with his family. Next morning, he was still alive screaming every half hour as he got worse. I scheduled to have him euthanized in the afternoon and he died on the way there. Vet curled him up in a box and I buried him in a flower pot 3 weeks short of his 4th Birthday. Happy New Year to me.

Attended the Extended Family Christmas at a park shelter in Waukee and everyone relayed their condolences. Next, my female Beta fish Artemis died. Got a baby female fish named Hera and she died a few months later. Had a cold on Valentine’s Day so didn’t have to smell my coworkers’ flowers (Achoo!). Sent Mom a Heart shaped pizza and some brownies for her to enjoy the holiday. Volunteered for VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) for another season, my 3rd year. More of an assistant to the professor than a tax preparer, but hey, looks good on my resume. My male fish Cronus died from bloat after trying every cure on the internet. Got a baby boy fish named Helios. Celebrated cat Precious’s 11th Birthday. Healed from Faramir’s death to get another baby boy ferret named Beren that I had for 1 day. The next day he crawled under the door and made it outside in the rain. Neighbor took him to the shelter down the street. Since I just got him, I thought he was hiding under the furniture terrified of his new home. After I hadn’t seen him for a couple days and started looking him, I discovered the shelter had already adopted him out to another family. Then, female fish Gaia died after having her a year after I got her as a baby. I got a baby female fish named Eos. Took Mom to the Des Moines Ballet performing Snow White. Spent Easter at Mom’s apartment looking at pictures of my brother’s vacation during Spring Break. Celebrated cat Frodo’s 11th Birthday. Attended the Def Leppard/Poison/Tesla concert at Wells Fargo Arena. Healed from losing Beren and got another boy ferret named Boromir. This one escaped under the door to bite the neighbor who found him in the hallway to get us evicted after a week and a half after getting him.

Baby female fish Rhea died growing into her teen stage. Got a female fish named Nyx (full grown). Had a realtor friend help me for months to find me a home to keep my ferrets. Found a foster home through the Crisis program at Animal Rescue League of Iowa for the ferrets until I find us a new home so I didn’t have to face a 7 day eviction notice on my door. Spent Mother’s Day with family at Iowa Machine Shed. Took Mom and sister #1 out to the cemeteries on Memorial Day. Next, took Mom and Nephew to Lake of the Ozarks to visit my Aunt and Uncle there. Nephew enjoyed taking walks and wave runner rides with Uncle. Nephew went bonkers over his tool shed (he loves tools and machines). Enjoyed the scenery, tourist spots, and boat rides on the lake. Saw caves and state parks. Rode the wave runner and started my Christmas shopping. We had a good time. Attended a family reunion at Aunt in Omaha’s house and explained my house hunting progress. Went to Adventureland with sister #2’s family. Nearly bought a house in my hometown, but the roof was bad from the storm that recently hit and had to walk away from it when sellers refused to fix it. Spent 4th of July with sister #2's family in Urbandale and played frisbee with my nephew waiting for the fireworks. Took my Mom out for her birthday at Baker’s Square, just the two of us.

Attended my niece #4’s and nephew's first piano recital. Celebrated nephew's 13th birthday at the Taproom in downtown Des Moines. My male fish Hades died and got a male fish called Pontus. Tried to view the partial solar eclipse at work, but clouds were in the way so couldn't take very good pictures of it. Got into a car accident right before I moved and since my car was 17 years old, insurance thought cost of the repairs was more than the worth of the car so they offered a settlement. Moving day came and took Frodo to the vet. He had fleas and so did my apartment, meaning all my movers got flea bites. Spent the past 3 months getting rid of fleas I brought to the new house and they are disappearing. Got my ferrets back from foster care and my girls were so skinny I could feel their bones. Luthien took a week and Eowyn took two weeks to get back to normal. They just needed their Mom. Boromir was much bigger and happy to come home. Had a strange experience of my inoperable doorbell going off, and still goes off now that it's fixed. I think I have a ghost.

Celebrated my birthday with a family dinner at Iowa Machine Shed and unpacking my house. Cats love their backyard and want to enjoy it every day until it got cold. Bought yard tools and some flower bulbs for the first time. Planted flower seeds before on my apartment balcony, but squirrels destroyed the pots so gave up. I planted Hyacinths, Daffodils, Peonies, and Dutch Irises. I plan to buy tulips from the Pella Tulip festival next May. Some family might recognize most of those are my Mom’s flowers she had at our childhood home. Mom was sad the new house owners tore out her peonies so I got some just for her. Next spring, I should have lots of pretty flowers. After the first rain, I found leaky windows so had to seal them. Bought a used car to have it break down on the way home. Had to take the car to the shop 5 more times to fix things so far. Celebrated ferret Eowyn's 4th birthday. Was called in for Jury Duty and then cases plea bargained so was released after two and half hours. Frodo found a hole in the backyard fence so had to fix that. Watched sister #2’s cat while they went to Walt Disney World. Got ready for Halloween and it was so cold that only 9 kids came so offered candy to coworkers. Ferret Boromir celebrated his first Halloween watching me carve a pumpkin. Got yard raked and mowed with help from sister #2 and nephew, I’m ready for winter and put up those Christmas lights and displays. Spent Thanksgiving at brother’s house bringing Aunt in Omaha along for the ride to see brother’s new house for the first time. I will take Aunt in Omaha and Mom to my niece #3's college graduation, with honors. She will be a high school math teacher when she wrangles a job, probably next spring. I will host Christmas Day dinner for Mom and any family members that come. I told nephew that if enough people come over that I will cook my first turkey. Boromir will celebrate his first Christmas and loves playing in the Christmas village on the floor. And finally, will enjoy the Extended Family Christmas the Sunday after Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

Jordan

Precious (cat)

Frodo (cat)

Eowyn (ferret)

Luthien (ferret)

Boromir (ferret)

Helios (fish)

Nyx (fish)

Eos (fish)

Pontus (fish)

Busy summer and Autumn

Sorry I haven't posted for months. Living a busy life searching for a new home (Found one and moved in 2 months ago) and trying to visit ferrets their foster home (they were happy to come home). Poor Precious cat had to go to the vet and so scared that he peed his fur and had to take carrier top off to get to him. He weighed in at 16 lbs (his max was 22 lbs) so he lost a pound since last year. Went to the local amusement park with sister's family and lost my prescription glasses on a ride and got them back the next day. Tried to train a new coworker to take over one of my projects and had to ask my manager to stop cause this person wasn't catching on. Too bad they later were let go from the job. Had tornadoes near by hometown and my Mom's hometown and luckily no fatalities. Nearly bought a house in my hometown, but the roof was bad from the storm that recently happened so had to walk away from it. Spent 4th of July with my sister's family and played frisbee with my nephew until I got tired and a kid watching fireworks nearby played with him. I had to make them stop when I kept getting hit. Finally got my raise after waiting 7 months for it and it 1.5% increase. Took my Mom out for her birthday and she brings a coupon to get one meal free.

Attended my niece and nephew's first piano recital. Celebrated nephew's 13th birthday. My Beta fish Hades died and got a new fish called Pontus. Tried to view the partial solar eclipse, but clouds were in the way so couldn't take very good pictures of it. Got into a car accident right before I moved and since my car is 17 years old, insurance thought cost of the repairs was more than the worth of the car so they offered a settlement that I have not received even though I mailed the car title a month ago. Got to drive a rental car for a month and had to pay a few weeks until my sister who was borrowing my Mom's car to replace her car to give up Mom's car so I could use it. Moving day came and took Frodo to the vet. He has fleas and so does my apartment meaning all my mover help got flea bites. Got my ferrets back and my girls were so skinny I could feel their bones. Luthien took a week and Eowyn took two weeks to get back to normal. Had a strange experience of my inoperable doorbell going off, and still goes off now that it's fixed. I think I have a ghost.

Celebrated my birthday with a family dinner at a restaurant. Discovered my phone company failed to transfer my phone to the new house and then had to get a new modem. Cats love their backyard and want to enjoy it everyday until it got cold. Bought yard tools and some flower bulbs for the first time. Planted flower seeds before, but squirrels destroyed the pots so gave up. After the first rain, I found leaky windows so had to seal them. Bought a used car to have it break down on the way home. Borrowed Mom's car until mechanic replaced the battery. Celebrated Eowyn ferret's 4th birthday. Brought fleas to new house so been spraying stuff every week, animals are now less itchy. Was called in for Jury Duty and then cases plea bargined so was released after two and half hours. Frodo cat found a hole in the backyard fence so had to fix that. Watched a friend's cat while they were on vacation. Got ready for Halloween and it was so cold that only 9 kids came so offered candy to coworkers. Got yard raked and mowed with all flower bulbs planted. Wore my Star Wars costume to work and found my manager was the only other person in my section to dress up. Boromir ferret celebrated his first Halloween watching me carve a pumpkin. Got license plates for the new car.

I believe that covers everything. Try to post more often.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers, Stepfathers, Adoptive Fathers, Foster Fathers, Pet Fathers, any Father Figures, and Single Mothers playing the role of father too.

Yesterday attending a family reunion at my Aunt in Omaha's house. Had a good time talking about our recent vacation in the Ozarks with Aunt and Uncle. Told everybody about lack of progress in finding a new home so I can get my ferrets back (apartment landlord doesn't appreciate my love for animals). Still clinging to hope cause that is all I have. Realtor friend is talking to a seller and will inspect the house this week and she said if it's my price that I will see it first. I miss my first ferrets so much.

Nephew said I would be happier with a husband. Yeah, if I could snap my fingers and a man I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with magically appeared, I would have married him 20 years ago and have a bunch of kids and possibly grandkids by now. I guess I'm just cursed to be alone. So I get pets to fill the void.

Had a good vacation

Took a vacation to the Ozarks to visit family. Enjoyed the scenery, tourist spots, and boat rides on the lake. Saw caves and state parks. Rode a waverunner and started my Christmas shopping. Had a good time. Come home to find my cat sitter rearranged my place with their helping me pack up stuff. Cats were happy to see me and not the cat sitter. One cat has matted fur I need to comb out. Laundry and grocery shopping to refill the empty fridge will be done today. Will visit my ferrets in foster care tomorrow. I hope I find a new home this week, I want my furbabies back.

If I were to write a graduation speech

Congratulations high school or college students, I thought long and hard as to how I got the honor of standing here before you today. I'm a success. You know who I am to ask me to speak at your graduation. And my words will be forgotten as this day becomes a distant memory for you. I hope you will remember this part: It doesn't matter what you did in high school or college in grades or sports or club activities, none of that will make you a success. What does matter is what you do as an adult is what will make you a success. And life is not a success only journey. You will fail, you will work jobs you hate, you will smile at people you don't like, you will loose jobs and people you cherish, and hopefully you get back up and keep trying. Nikki Sixx once said on Twitter how amazed he was at how hard people work to get nowhere. It takes years of hard work to become an overnight success. My best advice I can give is simply to take the time to figure out what you do best and then figure out how to get paid for it. Don't believe you are done learning. New laws, new technology, and new ideas will make adults return to school. Enjoy this day because tomorrow you step into a larger world full of wonder and amazing experiences to be explored. Good luck to you all.

Clinging to hope

Sad day, the 2 houses I wanted to view this week got sold yesterday. But, received new listings from realtor friend and hopeful to see 1 house like before it gets sold. It's beautiful and spacious going by the photographs. It's in my sister's old neighborhood (she was there for over 10 years and moved b/c the school district didn't teach computers at the elementary school level). I'm so excited and crossing fingers. At one house viewing, I told my niece and nephew that if my basement was big enough I would get a pool table. I don't think they ever played pool so they must learn. I grew up with my brother's pool table in the basement (and broke the bridge when I was about 7 so had to learn weird positions to hit the ball). I taught them how to play chess once. Have to see if nephew remembers when we go on vacation. I'm visiting relatives so don't have to pay for a hotel. I know we will find things to do.

Another work day

Working hard to get work done and get hit with another baby dream. I'm getting so tired of these dreams, just wish the guy in them would just show up in my life. So anyway, dream of bringing home a newborn baby boy from the hospital. Snow is on the ground and we missed a snowstorm while I was in the hospital. Nobody is home cause kids are at school. Kind of weird in my dreams the guy has custody and ex wife gets visitation, but then again these dream stepsons are teenagers so probably pulled away emotional from mama when puberty hit. Set baby down for a nap after his lunch and my guy gets frisky. He has been so lonely since I went away to the hospital, apparently I was there for nearly a week. We have a cuddle and I enjoy the frisky attention. It was a good dream.

We are getting a new coworker next week and I'm on vacation so have to wait to meet them. I'm certain dream guy will not be my pending coworker cause my dream guy is not an accountant.

Memorial Day outing

Visited the cemeteries and saw a new tombstone for my cousin along with my aunt and uncle names next to hers my grandparents' stone. Guess family wanted a place to remember my cousin who was cremated years ago and ashes spread in another state.

Visited my furbabies in foster care waiting for me to buy a new house. I'm trying, but low cost houses are not well kept (that's why they are cheap). Looking for a low cost house I can handle. I want my furbabies back.

Had an angel decoration sitting on top of my bookcase fall to the floor. Some people think it's a sign from someone. Wonder what the message I'm suppose to receive, Angel fell from heaven to earth to be with me? Reminded me of a poem I wrote once:

My best friend gone for eternity

What will become of me

Who will hold my hand

When I can no longer stand

Where is my angel to hold me tight

I will I get through each night

My cries, no one hears

And nobody sees my tears

Where is my angel for bad and for worse

I'm a shaky boat on an unknown course

Where is my angel mama promised me

I need one now can't you see

Where is my angel before it's too late

How much longer must I wait

A hug good-bye is not enough

Moving on is very tough

Where is my angel is wipe away every tear

My angel is far from here

Got the car checked

Got off work early so took the car in for an inspection before my vacation. Don't want to break down in the middle of nowhere. Mechanic inspected everything and only changed a bulb in the turning signal. I can live with that.

Having people coming over to help pack up my stuff. I haven't bought a house yet and I have people ready to pack me up. Hope I find a good home soon, I want my ferrets back. They are safe in foster care. Foster family just took in a baby squirrel. They took video of squirrel meeting ferrets. They are scaredy ferrets.

Manager hired someone will start in a couple weeks. Still looking for more workers and said they want to interview more people before deciding on taking on anymore. The pressure is on us to make up the work lost by loosing 3 coworkers last week. We work as fast as we can.

Well, not much to report this week.

Another day, another dream

Doing my work and suddenly hear carousal music playing my head. Funny, coworkers wear headphones so never hear their music. Brush it off and the vision starts. I'm walking down the local amusement park main street shops area with the carousal playing in the background. I'm holding hands with a very handsome man and note there is a ring on my engagement hand. We are with 2 teenage boys lagging behind being goofy. My niece and nephew are there too. Niece is very attached to me since she is with new people. She grabs my other hand and nephew starts to walk funny like other boys. Niece thinks she should pick all the rides. I tell her maybe I'll win her a stuffed toy.

Next I'm at the skee ball area and present a stuffed toy to my niece. We walk away toward the food stands and meet up the boys. Some lady sees me with my man and asks how long we have been married. I say, " A week". Lady congratulates us saying we resemble an old married couple and walks away. My man comments how we have been together a month and already we look like an old married couple. I explain it's the ring, it has wedding band attached to the diamond ring. Niece asks why I said we were married a week when we got engaged a week ago. My reply, Everybody doesn't need to know everything.

And to end the dream, we leave the park and kids get along goofing around. Niece seems more comfortable around the new people.

Someone I know got scammed

It finally happened, someone I know got scammed out of a bunch of money they will never get back. Their reason: They seemed nice and insistent I give them money. Please watch out for people you care about.

Hits just keep coming

Hand off didn't go as plan. Cage was too heavy so took the lid off. Carried furbabies to car and Luthien got loose. She was under my car, then another car. Then I lost her. I screamed her name for half a hour and wouldn't come to me. Anyway, Eowyn and Boromir are with foster mother today. I was planning on cleaning for landlord's inspection, but now looking for a ferret for a hour. PS.OMG, Knock on the door and it is a woman with Luthien. She just showed up on her porch and her father the maintenance guy told her I was missing a ferret. Must have seen the shirts outside I put out so Luthien could catch my scent and find her way home. My neighbor lived across the courtyard. I offered a reward and she refused it. Apparently Luthien was filthy so she got another bath. Thank you God, I've been praying all day.

Hit with Another Curve Ball

Gave the ferrets a bath and cleaning their cage for the foster family tomorrow. I asked for help looking at houses from family and some are freaking out how I can't buy a house cause I have no what I'm doing. I never owned a house so I should not ever buy one you know. That's why I asked for advice, I know my own limitations. I don't know much about cars either and trust my mechanic to fix it for me (since it runs so I'm happy). I know this sudden, but it's a new home or dispose of the ferrets. I didn't get my ferrets to throw them away when life got hard. I got a mortgage loan, I just need the house. I got my realtor friend, my Mom, my sister, and brother-in-law looking at the next possible house. I'm sure if they have concerns, they will be voiced. My heart is breaking giving my furbabies to someone else cause we will be separated. I can visit and will get them back, but it still hurts. I just don't need extra stress of fighting with my whole family how incompetent I am in the world. I had hard times before and will have them again. The soft words of "You will survive" is what I want to hear.

Thought had time, but no

Since it has been a week since I dropped off my notice asking for patience to close on a house. Get a call today from landlord giving me 7 days to find ferrets a new home or face a 7 day eviction notice on my door. Contacted a kennel facility who will take in my ferrets for $50 a day, so $3000 for 2 months. I have a realtor friend and former work friend living 30 miles away contacting places to help me find home my ferrets are allowed to live in. Praying hard tonight they succeed. Please heavenly father let me find a new home.

PS. Former work friend talked to her friend at a shelter that has a program for people in crisis in need of shelter for their pets with intention of animals being returned. So the ferrets will be in foster care until I find a new home for us. I hope it will be soon.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, stepmothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, pet mothers, mother figures, and single fathers playing the part of mother. Granted I never gave birth to any children, but why should I sit here feeling sorry for myself. My pets' Mother's Day gift was waking me up at 6:30 AM for a cuddle. Nothing like the feeling of fur against your skin. I'll take it. Gave my Mom a lawn chair for her present. She is always borrowing mine or my sister's chair when we go places so she now can stop doing that. Had a buffet lunch at Bonaza with my two sisters, our mother, 2 brother-in-laws, my aunt, my niece, and nephew. Niece and nephew were tortured with talking to their relatives instead of playing on their Kindles. Such as life. Now working on laundry. Had a good day talking to everybody.

House tours

If anyone wants to be my hero, here's your chance.

Need a new home or at least a new home for my ferrets and only 2 people lift a finger to help me. My realtor friend showed me and my Mom who is supplying half the down payment 2 houses today. Didn't really like either one, pet safety issues and narrow driveways. Never realized so many houses don't have dishwashers or showers. Realtor friend is having trouble finding a house in my price range with fencing to keep furbabies safe. I need a fence in case my cats or ferrets escape out the door, they could get hit by a car if nothing is there to stop them. Better luck next viewing.

New fish and still praying for a new home

Got a new red female Beta fish I named Nyx.

Realtor friend is still looking for a new home us. At least I got someone who cares on my side. Most people only want happy news, so naturally I don't look for comfort from them and expect them to keep their distance when I'm stressed. Some days I can't be actor for them. I know it's my fault for animals so much. Squirrels outside will eventually stop receiving peanuts. Praying for a miracle. Wish me luck.

RIP Rhea

RIP Rhea. My new red female Beta died suddenly. She wasn't even full grown yet, more like a teenager. Hope this is not a bad omen.

Sigh of Relief

Realtor friend is helping me find a new home for us. Her lender approved a loan so just need a home to move into. Explained I don't have to live in the same big city I work in, plus I grew up in a small town so I can move into a small town if the price is right. I'm flexible. I just want to keep my furbabies together. I didn't get them to throw them away when life gets hard. With my loan secured, I breathe a sigh of relief cause I have hope.

Choice between my furbabies or find a new home

It finally has happened...Four years in the making. My new baby Boromir escaped out the door and neighbor called the apartment manager. Now I must choose between finding a new home for the ferrets and finding a new home for all of us (2 cats, 3 ferrets, and 4 Beta fish). I am praying for a miracle, though with my luck miracles don't happen. Not to me anyway. I need a hero so badly. SOS.

Happy Birthday Frodo

My cat Frodo celebrated his 11th Birthday today. The old man spent half his day on my lap and the other half in the quiet guest bed (one of his favorite spots). Got him a cake and the new ferret Boromir got his first taste of frosting. He didn't like it very much. Eowyn the ferret licked the frosting like crazy (she loves it). Then the furbabies got a can of tuna (cats and ferrets like tuna). Had to chase Frodo down to get a photo cause animals hate The Flash. All in all, had a good day.

Asthma Attack

Knock, knock, knock.

I wonder who that could be.

Are you missing a white ferret? There's one under my sink.

Oh my goodness, I didn't realize one of ferrets got out.

Boromir! What are doing under the neighbor's sink? I'm so sorry ma'am.

Neighbor wondered how my furbaby got under her sink.

Took Boromir home with a scolding. He was a hungry baby. Then when it hit me how close I was to loosing Boromir after 6 days (and lost my baby ferret Beren after 1 day), my asthma started acting up and I burst into tears. I'm still shaken up by it. I was paranoid all week constantly looking for furbabies to make sure no furbaby got out. This morning Luthien and Boromir were at the door when I left for work. I swished them inside with my foot and I don't know how I missed Boromir escaping into the hallway. Thank goodness for a good neighbor. The shelter down the street hates me because each ferret I have gotten eventually escapes (Luthien is the exemption so far) making me such a horrible caretaker letting them escape into a dangerous world as if I do it on purpose. Well, Boromir is home.

Post later.

It's a Boy Again

Got a new boy ferret again. Hopefully this one will stay away from the front door. He is named Boromir and is a DEW ferret (dark-eyed white)which can mean deafness. He hasn't made a sound except for a sneeze so he might be deaf. I have a deaf uncle so not a big issue for me. I just can't call him and expect him to answer. Vibrations and hand movements will be our communication, plus reacting to the other hearing ferrets I have once they start napping together. One step at a time.

Had a good Easter

Spent my Easter Sunday in my Mom's apartment with brother's and sister's families. Brother showed photos of their vacation during spring break. Sister's kids enjoyed playing hide and seek in the hallways. Found a Bunny cake the grocery store the kids love and fought for the tushy piece with whipped frosting fluffy tail. They smeared the bunny tail on two piece of cake so they could share it. They are getting better solving their own arguments. Brought Star Wars macaroni and cheese since almost everyone loves the series in my family, wasn't much left when took home the leftovers. Well, nothing else to report.

Going to the Ballet

Taking my Mom to the ballet today. Didn't really want to go by myself and she likes those sort of things.

Wicked dream

Had a wild dream driving down the freeway that made me nervous to drive my car. I start to sweat and shake gripping the steering in hands. It's a dream I've first had 17 years ago and reoccurs once in a while, usually when driving at high speeds.

The Dream:

I'm driving down a gravel road in a car I don't recognize (black with gray interior). I just dropped off a couple girls excited about their bedroom walls being painted in a new home. The love of my life tells me he doesn't want to be married to me anymore because he is tired of dealing with my mother. I leave in tears and take off in my car. I'm punching the passenger seat and slamming my hand against the steering wheel furious at him. Then a rabbit races across the road and I jump in startlement to jerk the wheel. I skid around terrified and aim for a tree to stop the car thinking the air bag will save me. I pray "Please God let me see my kids again." to smash into the tree. Everything goes black.

I wake up lying down thinking my ribs are broken so something is poking me. Realize it's my seat belt and undo it so I can move. I open my eyes and the steering wheel had no air bag deployed. Some guy comes up and asks if I'm alright. I ask who he is. He is surprised and explains we went school together. He pulls me out of the car and I lay on the grass waiting for help to arrive. Ambulance comes and they tell me not to fall asleep. I sleep anyway and wake up to be paralyzed to hear a baby crying. Paramedic at my feet is holding the crying baby in a blanket. Another paramedic placed the baby girl on my chest. I struggled to move and manage to touch her wet hair. I have no idea where this baby came from, it wasn't in the car when I was driving furiously punching the seat.

Next I'm in a hospital room surrounded by strangers trying to get me to remember them. Few of them cry. One storms out and someone tells me not to contact her cause she is so flaky. People get concerned about the love of my life coming by with roses and I claim he takes out in a wheelchair through the courtyard. I'm told I'm imagining things and simply crazy cause he cares nothing for me

I am the master of crazy dreams.

Shorts Weather is Here

Weatherman said it would reach 75 today. So naturally had to shave my winter coat off hiding under my jeans. Quite invigorating sitting on my bed covered in lotion with silky smooth skin with the window open and all this cool air blowing in. Capri jeans were a little tight when I finally got them on. If I had a man around he would have gotten some, but alas, no man wants any from me. Or at least a man who intends to stick around after touching my silky smooth skin. Ok, I'm done grossing people out now. Have a great weekend.

RIP Gaia

Lost another female Beta. My beautiful blue girl came as a tiny baby and was growing into a lady the males were starting to notice. She will be missed.

More Dreams giving me a headache

Had the most horrible migraine this weekend to the point I was lying on my couch for most of it. Waited until today to do laundry cause I just couldn't go out into the rain to do it.

This time my dream was me breast feeding a baby wearing fuzzy blue footie pajamas so I assume it's a boy while sitting in a living room. A teenage boy who is beginning to get acne so about 13-14 enters the house to thump his things down so I assume coming home from school. I cover up. He sits in a chair across from me. He wants to hold his baby brother when I'm done. Later a taller teenage boy comes home and relaxes in a recliner to change the channel on the TV while the other boy is holding the baby. I ask the older boy if he wants a turn before I put the baby in the bassinet. His face says yes, but then he withdraws to say no. I tell him it's okay to like me and his baby brother. It may feel like an act of betrayal to like your new stepmother and the baby from her, but I won't tell anyone you boys enjoy holding the baby except maybe your father. Then a voice from the kitchen says, Tell me what. I explain the awkward situation of conflicting feelings. Naturally the handsome father wants to hold the baby too. Eventually I put the baby in the bassinet in a corner of the living room and prepare in dinner in the kitchen. Apparently I got a crockpot from a shower and love using it. That night is pulled pork. It was a nice dream.

RIP Hera

RIP Hera. My baby girl fish I got a few months ago died today. I saw her swim to her food this morning and then this evening cleaning fish tanks, she was gone. She loved looking at the male fish. She was the length of a fingernail. I don't know who thinks I'm not in enough pain, but my heart is filled with it.

Nearly lost my male baby fish when trying to net him to clean his tank. He jumped out of the tank to flop around on the table. I got him scooped up and he swims normally so hopefully nothing broke from the fall.

The Art of Losing

One Art

By Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident

the art of losing’s not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

New baby ferret gone forever

I got my new baby ferret I named Beren a week ago. Per usual he hid under the furniture with the other ferrets. Then, I couldn't smell him around anymore. Thought maybe he was absorbing the older ferrets' scent. Then getting worried from not seeing him, I looked everywhere twice. I got out the vacuum out cause animals hate it so thought I could drive him out of hiding. Finally, broke down and put up a Missing Poster for him last night. And trauma getting it printed and need to toss this printer out. I read my social media after work to see the shelter down the street's entry pop up of a baby ferret that was available and quickly adopted. I wonder if that was my missing baby ferret. Naturally, the new owners probably wouldn't give up an animal they just adopted today so I have to assume my baby ferret I lost is gone forever from my home. I hope they take good care of him. He is a sweet baby and will be loved and missed. Go ahead and yell at me for losing a pet saying it serves me right for thinking he was hiding under the furniture. Nothing anyone says can make me hurt anymore than I already feel knowing I will never see my baby ferret again. I'm sorry Beren. I'm so sorry baby Beren I didn't realize you missing sooner.

PS. I received an email from the shelter that he was found the day after I got him during the rain storm. By location where he was found and where I live, it is very likely it was my baby ferret they just adopted out. They apologized they couldn't reunite us. I thanked them for their reply to add that I pray the new adoptive family takes good care of him and he will be missed.

PSS. I've been thinking through my tears that the shelter did care for him for 6 days so I decided to make a donation for his care. It is the least I can do for them.

Work meeting

Nice. Manager asks if anyone has news in our morning huddle/meeting. I mention I got a new ferret. Everybody rolls their eyes. Ok, they got all excited about a coworker's puppy to decorate their cubicle and my ferret gets eye rolls. I bet nobody decorates my cubicle. Manager asked the name. When explained the name came from Lord of the Rings, I got more eye rolls. Sorry I didn't name my ferret after Trump's kid even though the names sound alike.

My VITA pals did me the courtesy of looking at my social media page of my new baby ferret and acted interested in this "cute" baby animal.

Can't please everyone.

Another head splitting dream

I wouldn't mind these wacky dreams so much if my head didn't hurt so much when I have them. It feels like a knife is in the center of my brain, like a migraine without the vision disturbances.

This dream starts as a fight in a living room full of children. I hurl an object at my husband and he says he is leaving before this gets worse. He walks out the door and kids are crying to yell at me for making Daddy leave. I burst in tears and go to the kitchen to prepare a snack for the kids. I try to distract the kids with watching TV. I then go the Master bedroom and cry on the bed angry with myself for having a hot temper with certain subjects. I hear footsteps and tiny fingers touch my hair. I look up and a little boy is staring at me. I tell Nicky I was sorry to hug him and tell him not to worry about Daddy, he's at the bar and will come home later in the night. I pull myself together and pick up the snack plates and cups of milk around the living room to put them in the kitchen sink. We play games and later put the kids to bed. I go to bed and fall asleep. Relive the fight and suddenly wake up to feel the bed in the darkness. Husband not there so I burst into tears. Kid is in the doorway asking if I was okay. He got up to use the bathroom and heard me crying. He goes back to bed after I hug him telling him I was sad Daddy hadn't come back yet. Go back to sleep to wake up again from reliving the fight again to start wheezing from my asthma. Feel the darkness to sense my husband is there sound asleep. I put my arm around him and say I'm sorry in case he was awake. He doesn't move or make a sound so assume he was sleeping. I wake up again and hear the shower running. The shower stops and I stretch out on the bed. Husband asks if I'm awake. I call his name. He enters the room in a brown robe and lies down beside me. He says he heard me talking in my sleep. I apologize again and agree to counseling to help with our trigger issues. Apparently he was awake when I apologized the first time. We make up as couples do and go to eat breakfast with the kids who are waking up to. I kiss husband in front the children assuring them parents can fight and make up. I love this man and want to keep him.

Hope my headache goes away now.

It's a Boy!

Stopped by the pet store for chew sticks and a new baby boy Beta fish since Cronus to find another ferret. I am ready to love again. There was several ferrets to choose from and I picked the one that spoke to me. It is a boy I named Beren from Lord of the Rings. Thought long and hard about the new boy fish name, Helios from Greek Mythology. My lady ferrets were happy to meet Beren and act like mother hens to him. He roamed around and met the vicious cats. Finally he took a nap under the TV stand. I saw him poop so waiting to see him eat so I can be assured he feels at home.

RIP Cronus

RIP Cronus. My silver white male Beta with red fins died this morning. He never would let me take his picture. He loved to hide in the plastic plant and watch the ladies. I got him already grown last year. He got The Bloat last week. Tried every cure on the internet, but can't cure dropsy. In the catnip plant now. Plan on getting another fish this weekend.

Another vision

Lying in bed drifting off to sleep and I have a vision of a white dog with a beige right ear licking my face. It reminds me of my aunt's Bolognese dogs, but fur more silky straight than curly so appears more like a Maltese dog. I had a similar dream living in my old apartment, only in that dream I was in a living room and I was petting the dog. Who knows what all these weird dreams? Friends think they could be premonitions of future events. Yeah, they tend not to actually occur so I don't think they are premonitions. I try writing them down to get them out of my head. That doesn't work. Oh well, guess I'll just enjoy the dreams since they are the only hope of a better future I have.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Today I went to work and when came home, I stopped at McD's for a Shamrock Shake. They were out. If it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. Should have gone out for lunch, but try to keep my break short so I can leave early. Almost everybody in my office leaves early, especially on Friday.

Missed the parade, but been to two of them so I'm good. 1st parade I was in it with my coworkers and I held the banner advertising the company. 2nd time I took my niece and nephew to it. They were disappointed they got beads instead of candy (I did warn them they don't pass out much candy). But hey, they walked away with 10 bead necklaces so mission accomplished. I'm good.

Dream of a Secret Admirer

Had another wacky dream watching a movie tonight. This one caused a migraine. I'm so woozy I need to lie down. Anyway, the brief dream was receiving a bouquet of flowers at my job. The card reads "Call me and phone #". My vision is blurry so don't ask for the #. Then a larger card holds a photo of a woman in a wedding dress (Again vision is blurry so all I can make out is dark hair and a long sleeved wedding gown). Back says "Remember this?". My coworkers demand I get to the bottom of secret admirer. Call # and react as if I heard from a ghost. Secret admirer probably is one.

Happy Ferrets

Got some last night and still here today. Have happy ferrets ready to rumble and tumble in it.

Happy Dance

Got the okay from all parties involved to go on vacation this summer. I haven't been on vacation since 2004. I planned on going to Australia in 2008, then the Great Recession happened, next lost my job, and now finally getting back on my feet again. Since traveling alone is so boring, Mom said she would love to come with me to visit my faraway aunts (Dad's sisters) in OK and MO. Aunts are excited to see us since we haven't seen each other in years. Sister said she would watch my pets for me, her kids love playing with my animals. Now gotta pick a date.

Wedding dream again

Had my wedding dream again while working and got a splitting headache for it. I'm dancing in a halter top wedding dress this time (I have had another wedding dream where I wear long sleeves). I'm slow dancing with a handsome groom in a large room surrounded by tables. Music changes and we fast dance. I see 20ish and teenage guys wearing tuxedoes I don't recognize except for my nephew. I see 20ish and teenage bridesmaids in satin red dresses. I don't recognize some of the bridesmaids except for my nieces. Groom's side must have a large family, there's about 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, plus ushers in tuxedoes. I hold a baby boy about crawling age in a tuxedo and smile for the photographer who is a woman I know from a past job. We line up to learn the hustle from the DJ. I take turns dancing with my new stepsons who are in tuxedoes while the groom dances with the bridesmaids. Since my father is gone we altered the bride and father dance a bit. My youngest niece is shy dancing with the groom, but I tell her that he is her new uncle so give him a chance to dance with her. She does. I stop dancing for a while to tend to the baby boy, he needs bottles and diaper changes. I am suspecting this baby boy is mine. Groom's mother holds the baby for while so I can return to dancing. Photographer has the baby put in my Mom's lap to get a picture. End of the night comes and anyone left tears down the decorations and trash the plastic tablecloths. Groom's mother helps me take the top cake layer to save for our 1st Anniversary and she will bring it our house tomorrow when we return from the hotel. I hug my Mom good-bye and return her pearl necklace I'm wearing. She wishes me happiness. Everything taken care, we all leave the community center and walk out onto my hometown Main Street. We drive off in the groom's car. We get to the hotel, but I'll spare the details what happens there. I'll just say it ends with us watching TV. The next day I take my bouquet to my Dad's grave since he couldn't be there to give me away (my brother give me away). It was a good dream.

You know...

You know you are pathetic when your chiropractor's receptionist tells you that they will pray for you when discussing your lack of human companion. I've been praying for over 20 years and yet to meet Mr. Wonderful. But, said thank you anyway. Few men want a dork who loves Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

Past Men Autopsy:

There was the coworker who asked me out after I was staring at him for weeks who failed to show up for our date because he was pulled over by a cop and arrested for drugs. Then he was fired when he was caught stealing from the cash register so never saw him again. He was cute.

There was the coworker who told me after arriving for our date to never look pretty again (I had a dress and make up on). He had some baggage from his 2 ex-wives. He smoked and I have asthma so that wasn't going to work out. After a couple dates, he stopped talking to me.

There was the blind date with a smoker who wouldn't tell me anything about himself, but expected me to tell him my life story. I refused anymore dates with him.

There was the janitor who daily picked up our garbage who asked me out 4 times and I turned him down 4 times. He had a daughter close to my age and we had nothing in common. He actually gave me his phone number to call him, then got upset I never did. He died of a heart attack the same week I buried my father.

There was the married coworker whose two girlfriends left him when his wife had a baby. I reacted, "Don't look at me". Eventually he got another job.

There was the married coworker whose wife was having an affair who asked me out 4 times and I turned him down 4 times. Eventually he got fired after too many customer complaints.

There was the coworker who promised to quit smoking someday. He just hung around on my sofa and played my grandma's guitar. He then got fired and stopped talking to me. I liked him, he was fun to talk to.

There was my favorite Martian who gave me a promise ring and I like to say we were engaged for 3 weeks. I even got a Wedding Planning book. Then he broke it off cause I wasn't changing personalities and he was a big, fat liar. Pawned the promise ring for $14 (after he refused to take it back) and bought a new pair suede boots. Still have the wedding planning book covered in dust. Returning that would be giving up hope of anyone wanting to marry me.

As I tell my Mom, I just haven't found the right person yet.

Surprise for coworker

Coworker is getting a girl bull dog puppy this weekend. So while coworker was at lunch, another coworker decorated their cubicle with "It's a Girl" stuff. When they came back everybody started laughing. People walking by congratulated the coworker for their new addition.

A Wolf Dream

As I lie down in my bed drifting off to sleep I envision a spirit of a wolf in front of me. It begins to snarl and snap at me with its jaws. Finally it lunges in for the killer neck bite with its paws wrapping around my shoulders to hold me down. I know how the deer feels at this moment. Then the vision changes to me sitting in the back of a movie theater with a man having his arms wrapped around my shoulders and kissing my neck. Wish I could see his face but no, I just feel him. Then a cat jumps on the bed and paws my face. I'm back in my room again.

Wild winter

Having one heck of a winter. Rain in the morning, snow in the afternoon. Then predicted to be in 50's tomorrow so snow will be gone soon. Happy Ferrets have to enjoy the snow while they can. Ferrets love playing in the snow. They dig around and walk around with noses to the ground so they look like a snow plow. Last snowfall one ferret leaped in the air with joy and got one photo with all 4 paws off the ground. Cats hate wet paws so no enjoyment for them. Such as life.

Unchained Melody for the man who keeps appearing in dreams

Oh, my love

My darling

I hunger for your touch a long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

Godspeed your love to me

..........................

Lonely rivers flow to the sea to the sea

To the open arms to the sea

Lonely rivers sigh

wait for me, wait for me

I'll be coming home

Wait for me

.....................

Oh my love

My darling

I hunger for your touch a long lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Are you still mine?

I need your love

I need your love

Godspeed your love to me

Getting tired of these dreams that never come true

Funny. Just had a vison of angel fluttering its wings in front of me in my living room and in the company of a boy telling me he is coming and to wait for Daddy. Yeah, whatever. Been dreaming of giving birth since last July and have yet to meet a man to take me on date. Just another stupid dream that won't come true as usual. Please God make these dreams stop. I'm getting tired of them. I thought writing them down would make them stop, but alas, they don't stop. I'm a loss what to do. Angels in my dreams tell me to have faith and do not despair. But, that it is very hard to have faith and not despair when almost everybody abandons me whenever I simply need a friend who cares about me. I'm sure almost everybody only wants good news and hear fascinating stories of my adventures in life, then wonder why I'm silent.

Ok, I'm done ranting. Good night.

Beautiful dream

Had a beautiful dream today. I stood at an alter in a long sleeved wedding dress and handsome blond man in a tuxedo stood beside me. It was time for our wedding vows. I said:

I once met a new kid at the end of 5th grade and all girls cried, "He's so cute". You were always more than a cute face to me. You were my best friend. You stood up for me. You sat next to me when no one else would. You taught me to be strong and stand up for myself. It's your own fault I fell in love you in the 6th grade and never stopped. How can I not love you when you are so sweet to me? I know why I stand here today, because I am the one girl who asks, "What do you want?" instead of thinking only of myself. I'm the one girl who has seen your bad side, your good side, and everything in between. And I'm still here ready to commit myself to spend the rest of my life with you. Many jealous girls have told me you don't really have feelings for me. I remember you once took pictures of me and 20 other girls in bikinis for a calendar project for your photography class and the project you turned in to the teacher was all pictures of me. If that doesn't say you love me, then I don't know what would. I stand here today because I don't want to marry someone else. And I have met plenty of celebrities that would have changed my mind in an instant. But, I want to be with you. And when you're an old man with gray hair and wrinkles sitting in wheelchair alone in a nursing home, I will still love you because it was your soul I fell in love with. I promise to try to be a good wife, take care of our children, and take care of you whenever you need me to be strong. The End.

Such a lovely dream.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everybody. Hope you are having a good one.

Spent of my day at work. I have a cold so didn't smell anyone's flowers. I saw someone had roses on their desk. Came home to the furbabies and gave extra treats plus salmon water from the can to make myself some salmon patties. My Mom called to say Thank you for the heart shaped hamburger pizza and chocolate brownies I had delivered from Pizza Hut. When I told her a delivery was coming to make sure she would be there, she thought I was bringing it. Sorry, my lunch break is not that long. She said today she dressed in red with her choir wearing paper roses to sing to the Memory Care part of her Senior Living Residence.

So now I sit on my sofa with 2 cats on my lap. Life is good, I have cheese popcorn. My cats like to lick the cheese off my fingers. Ferrets crawled up to see what that cheesy smell was about. One ferret likes powdered cheese and the other likes cheese sauce. But ferrets jumped down viewing the cats (they are fearful of cats for good reason).

Had weird another dream while I was working. A week ago had a dream of a boy in the clouds who keeps telling me he is coming to me. Then he turned to an angel affirming he was ready to be born. Today this dream was viewing an angel carrying toddler who calls me Mommy (earlier dreams he looked about 7) along a cloud path from heaven to earth with a bluish haze like a tunnel. Other angels don't like me being here. They tell me to leave cause I'm frightening the children (tunnel path is filled with angels carrying toddlers or walking beside them holding their hands). I ask the angel holding the toddler calling me Mommy what I look like if I frightening the children. He lifts my hands to brush off a gray ash off my skin. Then a voice tells me not to despair, your child is coming. I sense an energy around me and then a wind blows the dust of my skin. My hands now glow with a yellow aura around them. The child asks to touch my wings. He touches my white wings and suddenly they turn into gold feathers. I realize moving my wings I have 6. Next fire begins to come out of my robes and my hands glow like flame. I hear the children walking by say, "Fire Angel". Guardian Angel announces I'm back to normal and that they must keep going or we will delay the birth that is coming. I now carry the toddler so happy to have me as his Mommy. I hear the children say how lucky the child is to have a fire angel guarding him. We see angels flying from earth carrying souls into the afterlife behind us. The guardian angel takes back the toddler and I wave good-bye saying I see him soon. I then fly back to heavenly clouds in outer space and sit on a cloud. I say a prayer that my child will come soon, I'm so tired of waiting.

Knowing my luck, I'll probably get another ferret soon. Last time I had a similar dream, it was a ferret with wings telling an angel they were ready to go home and two weeks later I bought Luthien. For 2 years, I prayed for missing ferret Arwyn to come back to me. 6 months after she went missing I had a dream of a ferret with wings surrounded by clouds so happy to see me and calling me Mommy. Had these dreams a year and half before the ferret announced to the angle she was ready to come home. Who knows what these dreams mean.

Another eclispse and comet gone by

Looked into the sky to see the lunar eclipse. Not much of an eclipse, it was grayish. Couldn't see the moon rise with buildings and trees in the way. Couldn't see any stars cause of the city lights. The only ones I see are straight above me. Wished I lived in the country or even a small town so I could see the stars. And have a telescope to see the green comet the naked eye can't see. Have to wait for my Mom to die in 10-20 years before I have money to buy a house away from the city. By then, I will be counting the days until retirement. Oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles. My dream home would have a large kitchen with an island, Master bedroom with a walk in closet, and a porch or deck to hostess family gatherings on. Naturally it needs a spare bedroom so faraway family could visit a few days.

Happy Ferrets

We a few inches of snow just deep enough for the ferrets to swim in it. My older ferret was so happy she was leaping in excitement. My baby ferret turning 1 year old next month experienced her first real snowfall that was more than an inch that melted hours later. I have happy ferrets here,until the snow melts.

1st date dream

My brain is working overtime giving me wacky dreams. Had a first date dream. Meet a man at McDonald's and given roses. He seems happy to meet me. He has read some of my web journal and enjoyed my wedding and giving birth dreams. Maybe they will happen. Yeah, we'll see. Then another man comes to sit down with us looking 20ish. This is his son. Awkward. More awkward is looking at old photos of his life and I'm in a few of them. After we finish our meal, my date and I go to the movies.

To complete this dream, we go to a hotel room with 2 beds. 2nd bed is for the 20ish son. My date hypnotizes me swinging a necklace above me as I am lying on a bed. He tries hard to get me to remember something and I wake up when claps his hands. I'm all woozy so cuddle on the bed watching TV. The 20ish son comes to the room with his brothers and sisters so eager to meet me. The kids leave after a while and my date gets his dry hump I promised him (After a week of phone calls, I still wasn't emotionally ready for full intercourse). Spend the night in the hotel room and the son sleeps in the other bed cause he lives a distance away from here. We eat breakfast together and go to church. My date asks if this was the church in my wedding dream. I'm not sure and try hard to remember the dream: I walk down the aisle with my brother giving me away wearing a halter top lace dress with lace fingerless gloves. I carry a bouquet that I made and surrounded by family. At the reception we do The Hustle. Vast difference from my other wedding dream where I wore a long sleeve satin dress and my Dad gave me away in a church my family did not attend. I think in that dream I made the bouquet too and left it at my grandmother's grave after the wedding day. At the reception my husband picked the song we danced to. So anyway, at the church the other kids sit with us during the service. Apparently they live closer than the son who slept in the hotel room.

Then from the hotel I drive home and happy to see my cats and ferrets again at the door. This is weirdest first date I've every been on. But, it was just a dream.

Happy Groundhog Day

My VITA location opened for the first day and we had a huge line that we had to turn people away. Yeah, well, it's not like everybody's refund will be received the next day so still plenty of time to file your return. My professor gave me people with a million questions so they could concentrate on the other tax preparers who were enduring their first rodeo (this is my rodeo #4). Totally exhausted by the end of the night. Busy at work doing menial and mundane data entry tasks to help out another section. We did so well last month that we ran out of work to do. Let's just say these tasks are so easy my brain is falling asleep. Anyway, Happy Groundhog Day.

Reach a goal and the boss raises the next goal

Manager is determined we surpass our monthly goal that we got required Overtime this week and encouraged to come in Saturday. Then, came a warning of being held hostage on Tuesday until we reach our monthly goal. Well, today we ran out of work to do so I asked permission to be short 15 minutes on my required Overtime and was also told to forget Saturday work. And the piece of resistance, we will be helping another team get their numbers up next week cause we are so far ahead on our work. Such as life. Enjoying my day off at home. Been avoiding watching action movies that have a character dying since my ferret Faramir died. I'm still a little sensitive (Why did you have to go Faramir?). So been watching romantic comedies with happy endings (aka chick flicks). Cleaning up cat vomit and ferret poop around the apartment. Preparing Valentine cards for friends and family. Some people only send Christmas cards (if that) while I send Valentine, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas cards. Used to make them myself but someone was insulted at childish cheap cards so started printing them off my computer. But, sadly their is a limited supply of pictures so started buying them. Printed paper cards are much cheaper than buying paper, stencils, printer ink, and less time consuming than cutting pieces of paper out. I like keeping in touch with people even if they rarely talk me. The door is open when they pause from their busy lives. Discovered my Mom has been driving around her retirement community friend because he had heart surgery and can't drive. He bought a new fancy car a few years ago and took my Mom for a spin. He sold it. My Mom driving kinda scares us children because she keeps having confusion spells and can't read street signs (she can read mapquest directions but has trouble reading a map). My sister has been driving her to places unfamiliar to her so she doesn't get lost. Sister is on disability so no job to keep from helping out. On long journeys on my day off I take Mom to her destination. She seems to be at peace with that. Dad took care of her so she is willing to let us children take care of her where she needs help. Well I think this long enough. Have a good weekend.

More wacky dreams

I don't know if my hormones are out of whack, but had another giving birth dream. Or rather, a several dreams fitting together in a series of events. Now if these dreams would come when I'm asleep instead of when I'm working would be great. They give me a splitting headaches.

It begins in a shower. I'm so excited to see my baby at the doctor's office ultrasound the next day. Daydreaming what my baby will look like when he or she gets born, I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. Blood gushes out and a tiny boy comes out. I wrap him in my washcloth and call the doctor thinking I had a miscarriage. But, the arms keep moving so unsure if alive or dead. I put on some clothes and wait for the ambulance coming for me that the doctor said they would send. Call my boyfriend and pass out on the floor. Paramedics arrive and put me on the stretcher, hang up the phone telling the boyfriend where they are taking me, and I hear "This baby is alive".

Next, my baby boy named Nicholas Joshua is in intensive care hooked up to machines and the battle begins with the insurance company who wants to let my baby die cause of the expense. My parents' insurance goes up in cost and I'm forced to choose between my college education or my baby's life. Well, according to a lawyer we spoke to, the insurance company doesn't have power of attorney to turn off life support so baby lives long enough to go home with me after a month. Sadly, this boy's spine was damaged on his exit from my womb and will need surgeries as he grows so he can walk. Funny thing got discovered, my boy had a twin sister.

Some time later, I go into labor closer to on time and call my boyfriend before driving to the hospital. Contractions just started so think I can get there between contractions. Then rush hour traffic slows me down and a cop stops me for driving erratically a few blocks from the hospital. He yells at me for not calling an ambulance and escorts me to the hospital. I give birth to a girl, Brittany Anne. Somehow my boyfriend talked his mother who hates me to help me out taking care of the babies when I get home. I wanted to breast feed first before I gave them to be raised by his mother until we graduate college.

Boy comes home first, then the girl. They sleep in a bassinet in my room. Had a scare when the girl's face ends up squished against the bassinet wall and turned purple. I screamed and the mother walked in the room wondering what was wrong. She watched as I freaked out and gave my girl mouth to mouth to hear her cry again. Mother takes the baby to hold her for a while as I shake and cry on floor traumatized I almost lost my baby. Mother never smiles the time she was there and I try to connect to her by telling her that loved her son very much. She replied that she already knew that, that was why she was there.

Next the mother leaves and I care for babies by myself and take them to daycare at the college. I go to my classes where I had to explain I was not sick, I had a baby. In one class, I had the pleasure of explaining to my classmates that I do not have a crush on any of my male classmates and that I had a fiancé who I planned on marrying when I graduated.

And to end the dreams, boyfriend and mother picked up the children to take to their house. Then my sister and nieces come to visit my apartment and nieces are disappointed the babies were gone. The End

Would be nice if these wacky dreams ever came true, but I'm not that lucky.

Just Another Day For Me

In my posting after the election I labeled "Conundrum", I dreamed of the new president being killed by a man in black. According to the news, no such event occurred. So was just a dream that was a warning instead of a premonition. That's okay, I had a vision at work of my ferret dying while he was at the vet's office, but he didn't die until the next day. Recently had a dream of a new boyfriend, but man in question has blocked me on social media so fat chance of that happening. I am the master of wacky dreams, just the other night I dreamed going to a basketball game with a newborn baby boy and all the high school girls I once knew wanted to hold him. I believe in the dream we were all teenagers. A old boyfriend's mother held him too calling herself grandma. I never had a kid so chalk it up to just another wacky dream of mine. I spent my time after work reading birthday greetings to my dead ferret. If he had recovered from his infection, he would be 4 today. Sobs. We miss him. Happy Birthday Faramir in heaven.

Going to a Concert

I'm so excited. Got a ticket to see the Def Leppard/Poison/Tesla concert. Nobody wanted to go with me so got my own ticket. I've seen Def Leppard twice and Tesla once before, but haven't seen Poison yet. I hope they play my favorite song, it was a #1 hit so I'm sure they will. Every Rose Has Its Thorn. It will be a present for myself.

If you think one person cannot make a difference

If you think one person cannot make a difference, then read this list.

Harry Houdini: Invented the escape artist act and put down the popular Spiritualist movement of connecting to spirits with séances when he revealed many famous psychics as frauds.

Johannes Gutenberg: Inventor of the Printing Press by watching olive pressers squeezing out juice.

George Washington Carver: Agricultural College Professor who encouraged cotton farmers to plant peanuts to replenish the nutrients in the soil that cotton drained called "crop rotation".

Clara Barton: Founder of the American Red Cross that aids in every natural disaster from tornadoes to earthquakes.

George Washington: General Washington led the Americans to defeat the British in the Revolutionary War. As such, many in the military wanted to overthrow the new government under the Articles of Confederation and have General Washington crown himself King or Emperor of America. He destroyed the military coup in one speech and America got a President who left office after 2 terms.

Edward R Murrow: Journalist with a TV show who brought down the McCarthy Red Scare in one broadcast after he was accused of being a communist.

Mark Felt: Deputy Director of the FBI who contacted 2 journalists Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward about the Watergate Break In and resulted in President Nixon resigning.

Louis Pasteur: Father of Microbiology and the reason we heat milk to kill bacteria.

Arthur Conan Doyle: Author of Sherlock Holmes crime stories that used science and psychology to solve crimes that altered the way police detectives solved real-life crimes.

Rosa Parks: A secretary who refused to give up her seat to a white bus passenger that led to a boycott of buses, which led to the Civil Rights Movement to end segregation and race discrimination.

Sitting Bull: A Lakota holy man who led his Native American tribe in resistance to American government (including Custer's Last Stand), even taking his people to live in Canada for a while. He later joined a tour of the Wild West Show to see the Eastern America and Canada.

RIP Artemis

RIP Artemis. Lost another fish the male fish loved to stare at. Have to get another female to entertain them. Catnip pots outside were frozen solid so heated the dirt in the microwave to get the fish buried in it while singing Amazing Grace. Go ahead and say it, I'm weird. I'm used to it.

Extended Family Christmas

Celebrated our extended family Christmas with Mom's sisters and cousins. Gave great-niece her Christmas present and my nieces and nephew got presents from faraway brother and sister. Lots of food to eat. Everybody loved my toffee. I told them it is so perfect because I used a candy thermometer. Received condolences from everyone for my furbaby Faramir. Good to know they are polite enough for that (nobody really likes my ferrets and some can't stand animals at all). Funny how some people grew up on a farm and despise animals, strange but true. My Dad was said to have a dog as a kid who was his buddy and went on long walks together. Must have gotten his animal lover gene. One of Mom's cousins mentioned she is reading my new story I mentioned in my Christmas letter. She likes what she has read so far. I don't exactly write thrillers like Stephen King or John Grisham, they are more like Viking sagas of events without much of villain, so most people don't like them. Most just read the first chapter and think it's boring and stop. Yeah, if you read the first chapter of Harry Potter it is very boring too. Oh well, if people are waiting for me to become as rich and famous author then they will have a long wait. Had a good day talking to family I hardly ever see.

Post later.

Faramir is at peace

RIP Faramir. Took him to the vet to be put down. I could not stand another night of him scream every 30 minutes. I didn't get much sleep last night. Right before our appointment, he threw up some blood that came out of his mouth and nose as I wrapped him up in a towel. I heard him scream in the car and when I got to the vet, he passed away already. Either in the car listening to Bon Jovi's Livin on a Prayer on the radio or in my arms taking him in. I had his face covered from the cold so hard to tell which. Vet said he just died moments and still flexible enough to curl him in a ball for burial (ferrets curl in a ball when sleeping). He is at peace now. Eowyn started shaking when I allowed the animals to see him in the box. Later heard whimpering under the sofa, I believe she gets it. Luthien not so much. She kept sniffing him as I prepared him for the dirt. Eventually she will get it Faramir is gone. I wrapped him in a red kitchen towel, spread red carnation petals over him, and buried him in a potted plant singing Amazing Grace. I lit a candle and sang Happy Birthday to him one last time. He birthday is Jan 20 and would have turned 4 years old then. But, alas, he died at age 3 and 11 1/2 months. Now I need to eat. I haven't eaten all day.

Last Farewell

Brought Faramir home to die. Vet said his kidneys are failing and fluid filling his lungs. Eowyn and Luthien gave him a good sniff over. I'm holding him as he struggles to breathe and play music so he knows he is home with his family. Vet said he will dead by morning. Jan 20 would be his 4th birthday. I want to bury him in a flower plant from the grocery store. I bury fish in catnip plants.

Furbaby very sick

Faramir update: He has infection in his bladder and kidneys, possible prostate inflammation (they will do an ultrasound to check for cysts). He is on antibiotics and will spend another night at the vet's office. Told vet I wanted him cured and bring him home (referring increasing costs). I don't want to have spent $585 already to bring home a dead ferret. Vet says he is curable at present moment. I asked to see him so he knows he is not abandoned. I scratched his cheeks and his breathing suddenly got faster. Very sick little man. Then he fell asleep so I left him. He still is not eating so brought over some food and chew sticks. He can be a picky eater. Prayers are welcome. I can handle the fact that someday I will be putting down all my animals, but I pray Faramir will make it to his 4th birthday so we can celebrate it.

Happy New Year 2017

Hi there.

I spent my New Year's Eve with a lethargic ferret scared he was going to die in my arms. Skin was all purple, not eating or drinking, and trying to poop to have nothing come out to then collapse. New Year's Day he was more alert and drinking water so I was happy. Come Monday, he was still struggling to go so off to the vet we went. Vet said he severely dehydrated and x-ray revealed he has bladder stones and a swelled bladder. Vet thought he was struggling to pee, not poop. So vet will keep him overnight to empty his bladder the hard way, with a catheter. Then get some fluids into him. Vet said he looked very sick and wondered if he had an infection too. Hopefully will get to pick up my baby tomorrow after work.