Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone. Hosted Christmas dinner with sister's family and Mom. Had a good afternoon opening presents, watching movies, and playing Whoville Monopoly. I won Monopoly. Usually my nephew wins so this was a surprise. My luck must be changing. Ordered brother's wedding photos on my computer for Mom who doesn't do computers. Her sisters and cousins can handle computers, but she can't. As it got dark lit all my light displays and family enjoyed my bubble lights. I'm the only one who has them. I found at a store doing a retro thing. Well post later. Have a great New Year.

A Christmas Carol thought

I watch A Christmas Carol every year and always notice Fred is not in Future scenes. Perhaps, not to give away that the dead man who brought so much joy to others was Scrooge. But in small ways, Fred is there. Someone had to paid for the tombstone Scrooge views. Someone had to pay the undertaker, charwoman, and laundress who sold his things to Old Joe. Bob Cratchit is not jobless (and not suddenly rich) and must work for Fred who would have inherited his business and money. Who else does Scrooge have to will his things to? My brain thinks too much. Season's Greetings.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and I could hardly bare it

Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret

The stockings were hung on the shelf with care

With hopes of St Nicholas soon would be there

The cats and mama in bed taking a nap

Faramir, Eowyn, and I waited with the Santa trap

Visions of red toys and dangling Christmas balls

Filled my dreams of what this Christmas thing befalls

When out on the courtyard there was a loud POP

I sprang from the sofa and saw the cats lollop

Away to the window I bounced like a bunny

Then Faramir and Eowyn smelled something funny

The moon glowing upon the new fallen snow

Covering the paw prints where dogs like to go

When what to my wondering ferret eyes should appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer

With a little old driver so bright red and quick

I so badly wanted give that toy a lick

More rapid than Frodo swipes his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Jingles Now Jangles Now Ivy and Holly

On Snowball On Sparkle On Tinsel and Jolly

To the top of the porch to the top of the wall

Now dash away dash away dash away all

As right before Eowyn tooted, the wild flurries whirled

The cats danced with joy and us ferrets twirled

So up to the rooftops the coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of toys and St Nicholas too

And in an instant outside like a lightening poof

We heard the scratching and clawing of each little hoof

As I drew in my head and turning around

Santa came in the door in a single bound

Precious drank the milk so the Santa trap was sprung

Santa ate the cookies and crumbs in his beard were strung

Frodo got him a napkin and Precious got out the back

I took the opportunity to crawl into his sack

His eyes were kind as he scratched my cheek

Faramir and Eowyn stuck in her nose to take a peak

His face was red like a cherry as he went Ho, ho, ho

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth like a charm

And the smoke blew up to set off the smoke alarm

To unplug the battery he swiftly rushed

Then looked at us and rightly blushed

He was chubby and plump a right jolly old elf

And I squeaked when I saw him in spite of myself

He petted us all and cats rubbed their fur on him

Then we heard a crack of a tree limb

He spoke not a word, but finished his cookies

He filled up the stockings, even for us rookies

Then laying a finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, out the door he rose

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a holler

And away they all flew as we furbabies got taller

But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night

Christmas Letter 2016

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my family and friends. My year started with a temp job as a Bankruptcy Auditor in January auditing mortgage loans in bankruptcy to check if the bank employees are following bankruptcy laws. Let's just say my job is easier when they do their job right. Started college classes again, my last semester (Wahoo!). Did taxes under VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) and this time was more of an assistant to the professor than tax preparer. I did a few amended returns (you have up to three years after filing to send in an amended return) and checked my classmates work as required for the class. My two years of experience came in handy. Saw my great-niece for the first time at her baptism. Missed the baby shower from the polar vortex causing weather man to say stay indoors. At eight pounds, the two-month-old baby was still tiny to hold. She just looked at me as if she was thinking, "Who are you?". She learned I sing and kiss cheeks. Then had to share the baby with Great-Grandma who hadn’t met her either. Got a baby fry fish Theia after my female Selene died. Then Theia died after a few weeks. Got another small fish called Tethys. This one was a little older than the fry, but still small compared to the adults. Then after a few months Tethys died and got another fish called Gaia. Gaia is still around, but too small to attract much male attention. My full size female Artemis gets all the boys’ attention. When she grew a very large bottom fin this autumn, I realized Artemis is a boy. Don’t feel like changing the name though. Ferrets were sad they didn't get much of a winter thanks to warm El Nino, they love snow and roll around in it. Didn't get enough snow to dig a ferret tunnel, maybe this winter with El Nina expected. We celebrated ferret Faramir's 3rd birthday making him a middle-aged man. We celebrated Precious's and Frodo’s 10th birthdays making them official Senior cats.

Completed my classes and graduated with honors again earning Payroll Certificate and Income Tax Preparer Certificate. Ah, no more classes. My brain can't handle any more education. Got student loans to pay back now. Attended my niece #2’s Master’s degree ceremony at University of Northern Iowa. Family is so proud of her. Wrote a new story just to stop dreaming about it to put it up on my blog (thechameleonstory.blogspot.com). It is about an FBI Agent going undercover. I know, boring. Attended my sister-in-law’s (don’t know if I’ll ever get used to saying that) bridal shower at my Mom’s retirement community banquet room. Some family haven’t met the bride so it was a good day for us. Attended niece #1's bridal shower at Aunt’s home and took my turn holding great-niece. Went out to the cemeteries for Memorial Day with Mom, both sisters, and a niece #4. Had to explain to niece#4 that some people actually do visit cemeteries on Memorial Day instead of barbeques. Niece #4 wanted to come too since she hasn't seen her grandpa's grave since the funeral before the stone was erected. Had to explain why we place flowers on tombstones and why grandpa had a flag with a holder saying Vietnam. I got a new baby girl ferret: Luthien aged 2 months (from Lord of the Rings). My other ferrets taught her how to be a ferret and learned my routines. She has taken to jumping on the bed in the morning when I wake up. She is one happy ferret. Had a lovely 4th of July with sister #2's family. Attended a parade in Slater, IA and enjoyed lunch in the town park. The games and rides were too young for niece#4 and nephew so we didn’t stay long. Pretty much spent the afternoon watching movies at my sister’s home. Had to play Independence Day for the holiday.

We celebrated two weddings in June. Niece #1 got married and had great-niece as her flower girl. She looked like a princess and ceremony was twenty minutes long (we all loved that). They had a grilled cheese bar with someone heating individual sandwiches for people. Boogied down at the dance with nieces and nephew. Had breakfast with the couple the next morning to watch them open presents and took home some cupcakes. Then after Fifty Years of Waiting, my mother finally got rid of my brother. Brother danced for the very first time (as a kid I would grab his hands and twirl around, but he didn't really move). I again danced the night away with nieces and nephew. Had breakfast with the couple opening their presents and went home. Afterwards, they went to Washington D.C for their honeymoon. I finally was made a permanent resident at my temp job to fill out all the paperwork to get insurance and build up that 401k. I was doing the Happy Dance after six long years working part-time and temporary jobs after losing my good job renting cars at the airport. It’s nice having paid holidays and paid time off again. I like my job and can easily see myself auditing for the next five years. Attended nephew’s 12th birthday party at Johnny’s Steakhouse in Altoona. They had a cut out of Frank Sinatra and had to explain who he was to the younger generation. Went to the Ankeny City Pool with brother-in-law #2, niece#4, and nephew before school started for the kids. Got a nice sunburn to get a good tan. Kids weren’t too happy their sunburns. Had picnic lunch in a park with sister#2 who had stayed home. The next weekend we enjoyed a day at Adventureland Park. Rode the new roller coaster and I thought it was awesome. Had to ride it a second time. Visit got cut short when clouds came in and lightening scared us into leaving the park. We got sprinkled on. Made it out before the downpour came. Didn't get to ride all we wanted, but it will be there next year.

Celebrated my 41st birthday (tell nobody) at Ankeny’s Godfather’s with a buffet with Mom and sister#2’s family. Sister got me a cake with cupcakes surrounding the larger center cake. Mom took me to the car wash because she finally got tired of looking at my dusty dashboard (I never clean the inside of my car). Had a good birthday. Had a visit from brother and sister-in-law with their honeymoon pictures explaining how they mastered the public transportation. My ferret Eowyn celebrated her 3rd birthday making her a middle-aged woman. Lost my male Beta fish Pan. Got him as a baby and he was growing bigger every day, then he died. Got a new Beta male Cronus. Beta fish live 3-4 years so I go through them fast. Cronus is still here. Teenager ferret Luthien at seven months experienced her first Halloween and jack o’ lanterns. I just know she will love Christmas. Celebrated sister-in-law’s birthday with brother and Mom at the Cracker Barrel in Clive. Celebrated niece#4’s 13th birthday at Rock Bottom Brewery in West Des Moines. She loved the purple sneakers I got her since she picked them out last August on a shopping trip in the mall looking for the “Perfect Backpack” for school. Spent Thanksgiving at brother’s house in Fairfield at their new dining room table and used new cookware they received as wedding gifts. Let’s just say it will be a while before they need to buy anymore kitchenware. Did my Black Friday shopping from brother’s sofa on my Smartphone when stores opened on Thanksgiving evening. The family was in the dining room eating leftovers so nobody was looking over my shoulder to see what I got them. Next day on technically Black Friday drove out Aunt’s home to spend the night to have a shorter drive to great-niece’s 1st birthday party on Saturday. Aunt took us Black Friday shopping in a store later in the evening when the crowds dissipated. Since I already bought all my presents online, I shopped for myself and picked out sweaters to wear to work. Next, she took us around Omaha to see the pretty light displays. Great-niece’s party had the extended family at Valentino’s in Lincoln, NE. Visited with my nieces and sister#1, plus took lots of photos of the baby. She is crawling now, pulling herself up, and loved her birthday cake.

This month will be work, work, work. Have to pay off my shopping splurge, you know. Got out all the decorations and Luthien enjoyed all the boxes to play in. My Christmas village on the floor looks like a tornado hit it, but they don’t chew on any wires so I’m happy. I will host Christmas Day dinner for whoever from my family shows up (plans not finalized yet). Extended family Christmas will be in January with practically everybody planning to attend.

Love Always,

Jordan

Cats: Precious and Frodo

Ferrets: Faramir, Eowyn, Luthien

Fish: Artemis, Hades, Gaia, Cronus