To the Best Friend Who Abandoned Me

Once upon a time I had a best friend. Actually had more than one in my past, but I am referring to the last one who refuses to speak to me. My last best friend was a he. He was my hero. Many would say I never meant anything to him and certainly mean nothing to him now. I beg to differ. I know things others do not.

1. He was a people pleaser so he said one thing to me, another thing to his gal friends, and yet another thing to his guy friends. So I learned to believe his actions.

2. One of his actions was tricking me into kissing him on the lips in the 6th grade. Someone once laughed how he must have been dared to do it since nobody is capable of loving me. Sorry, but we didn't tell anybody until days later when his guy friends noticed I was looking at him funny and he admitted to his guy friends he kissed me. He also knew who my first kiss was that I told nobody but him (best friend was my 2nd kiss)

3. He got suspended from school after a fist fight defending me. Some kid was pushing me against a wall and I asked him to walk with me to prevent it. The next time I was pushed into the wall, I came to school the next day to find I missed a great fist fight where my best friend shouted "Leave her alone" to the other kid. Longest three days of my life feeling guilty he got suspended because of me.

4. He was terrified to be in love. One of his girlfriends demanded sex to prove his love to her and soon after broke up with him saying he was immature. He was crushed. He cried on my shoulder and crumbled when he saw her walk by. He missed the sex so he became a "player" sleeping around (and yes, I voiced "Does AIDS mean anything to you?" because I cared about him). When he tried to get back up again and asked a girl for date, she discovered his sleeping around to slam the door in his face. He called my house at 11 PM, distressing my Mom why a boy was calling me at 11 PM. He didn't want his mother to see the flowers he had gotten for his date cause then he would have to explain why he still had them. I told him to give them to me at school. I explained to my boyfriend that I was covering his butt. It is what friends do. Afterwards, whenever he fell in love with a pair of bosoms, I suddenly couldn't be his friend anymore cause girlfriend got jealous of me. When he broke up with them, I got to be his friend again. Sure if he said he was madly in love with the whole girl and not just her bosoms, I might have been more supportive in his girlfriend choices. I made any boyfriend I had accept my best friend. There was a difference between best friend and me.

5. He often sat next to me on the first day of school, until he cheated off me to be moved away. Though, a couple teachers did sit him next to me on purpose. He did ask to cheat off me once and I ended up giving him wrong answers so he never asked again. He asked for help with his homework once and I was the first person to inform him that he wasn't stupid. I thought he was smart, but didn't always apply himself to study his books much. He could tell me all about things I have no knowledge about, like football or cars.

6. I remember our break up. He was tired of dealing with my mother who hated him (my mother didn't like anybody I picked out for superficial reasons). His mother didn't like me either. She is a different story. In the end, both tried hard to break us up and they won.

I'm sure he's happily married living a grand life without a moment's thought of me. He was a romantic sweetheart who found it easy to get women since they were constantly throwing themselves at him (I had to explain to him these girls used him as a trophy to show off to their friends), but who knows what he is like now. I on the other hand can't find another best friend who cared that much about me. I wish my former best friend well. And I will cuddle my furbabies who don't care if I'm a big dork.

Pursuit of Happyness for Me

It has finally happened. After 6 long years in part-time and temporary job hell, and after 6 months of working so hard to learn my current temp position, my manager stopped by desk to announce they are in the process of switching me to full time employee. I told her she made my day. 6 years ago I long my good job at a airport car rental and now I'm back were I was. I'm so happy to be standing on my feet again. Get to call my Mom to tell her she can tell her friends her daughter is an official auditor. Relief.

Best Friends Forever

Reading much about people's friends, dearest friends, and best friends make me remember my childhood and high school friends. If any communicate with me it's through social media, I read their posts and they read mine (never see each other face to face). But most won't have anything to do with me (and none of my former boyfriends who are happily married will accept a friend request either). Oh well, nothing I can do about it. I hold no grudge against them (my mother was hard to handle listening on conversations on the phone extension and intercom). I wish them well and just want them to be happy, even if I play no part in their lives. I no longer have the shyness or quirks I used to have (which I shed once I got away from parental control). It would be nice to have a best friend again, if nothing else to have someone to talk to that is not covered in fur. Ok, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. Post later.

Midsummer

Well, midsummer is here. Had a lovely 4th of July with my sister's family. Our mother spent the day doing my sister's laundry. Sister said her husband and kids can do that, but Mom needed to help her daughter. My sister had foot surgery and can't walk for a while. During fireworks, my sister stayed in the car. Mom was disappointed my sister never asked her to come over and help her like she did after her hip surgery. My sister did call me coming home from the hospital to come over to feed her kids dinner. I didn't feel like driving 30 minutes in rush hour traffic just to feel her kids who are old enough to heat their own microwave dinner, sister can order a pizza. But it turns out, our other sister staying at a nearby hotel for job training took the kids out for fast food. Got a lecture from my diabetic niece for having an unhealthy angel food cake for a midafternoon snack. Yeah, I brought this angel food cake with red, white, and blue icing to eat so I am eating it. She did have some cake for dessert after dinner. Pretty much spent the afternoon after the morning parade watching movies. Had to play Independence day for the holiday. 1959 Gidget with Sandra Dee was another (one of my favorites). Had 2 weddings in June. My niece got married (yes, I am that old) and had her daughter as flower girl (a little backwards, but happy ending is the important part). My niece looked like a princess and ceremony was 20 minutes (we all loved that). Niece had a grilled cheese bar with someone heating individual sandwiches for people. Boogied down during the dance. Danced with my little niece (I have 4 nieces) and nephew. Had breakfast with the couple the next morning to watch them open the presents and took home some cupcakes. Then after 50 years of waiting, my mother finally got rid of my brother. His bride resembled those 1870's dresses with bustles, very beautiful. I'm not sure if they are back from their Washington DC honeymoon yet. My brother dance for the very first time (as a kid I would grab his hands and twirl around, but he didn't really move). He said he wasn't going to dance, just pose for the picture. But, he said his bride insisted so he danced a few songs. I'm sure the DJ picked out their music since my brother doesn't listen to hard rock and doubt his bride does either(DJ played Firehouse's Love of a Lifetime). I again danced the night away. Earlier the bride offered her brother for me to dance with (she assured me he was single) so I danced with 1 man. The other man was my nephew half my size. I danced with my niece too. I told her I loved her before she was even born when listening to a song saying I will love you a thousand years(had explain I was excited to hear I going to be an aunt again). Again, had breakfast with the new couple opening their presents and went home. My office is expanding to add 60+ desks for incoming employees. Some start next week and some in a couple weeks. I hope this temp job becomes permanent soon and finally will get paid holidays. Sure it's nice to get holidays off, but I loose money on my paycheck. And health insurance would be nice. I have none since Medicaid cancelled it at renewal time since I make too much money. Medicaid suggested Marketplace. I can't afford their premiums with $5000 deductible for the few months until I can get work insurance (if I get hired on). Then I have to decide whether to cut the cable TV or cut the internet to pay to for it. Got student loans to pay off so strapped for cash to add more bills to my budget. But I'm sure nobody wants to hear about my pathetic troubles. So on a happy note I will end this post by saying I'm looking forward to visiting the amusement park's new roller coaster this summer.