Happy Halloween

What do you call a chicken running down the street?
Lunch.

What is black and white, black and white, and green?
Penguin rolling down a hill.

Happy Halloween Everybody.

Phony coupon controversary

Lovely Saturday. Had controversary over phony coupons. One said not accept them and another said accept them to make angry customers happy. What is the point of rules, if we break them all hoping customers put Highly Satisfied on their surveys? Why don't someone put a sign on the front door that says "Rob Us", cause that is exactly what these phony coupon makers are doing. And I bet they don't do surveys and put in Highly Satisfied at our customer service. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

How's your week?

Our excitement at work today was a small boy carrying a dart gun set, the box was about the size of the boy. He follows his mama around struggling to carry this box begging to have it. But, in the end, mama said no. Boy pounds his fists on the box screaming and crying. Mama still says no. We put it back.

I once had a mom buy a gun set (can't recall water balloons, water, or darts) and I said to the 10ish boy, Don't point that at your mom. Boy was confused, What would happen if he did. Lady says to try it and find out. Mom says he will be deep trouble.

Had a odd customer that cried she has a 15% coupon, but doesn't show it to me. It's automatic for all associates, she says (in which store?). So scan her candle and bend over to get a sack. She brashly informs me I forgot her coupon. Sorry ma'am (Am I not allowed to get a sack before giving a total?). So as she counts her change I give the usual, I'll gladly take change and it will get used. After I give her change back and drawer is closed, she takes out all the change in her purse. She announces I can't have her quarters and demands a quarter for her 2 dimes and nickel. I think she took me too literally about liking change, but I open the drawer to get a quarter for her. I have to break all the rules to make a customer happy you know.

Had a group of boys in our breakroom drawing greeting cards with construction paper. Adult there said, No gun pictures. Kid asks, Can I draw a duck. Another asks, What's a duck? Adult replied, The kind that go quack quack. IS there another definition of duck?

Ok, got a short message on one of my blogs asking why I hated them. What did they do to me? Um, let's see. Total stranger from God's knows where is asking this question. If I actually knew you, I would have answer.


Got phony coupons being spread again. Coupon from a new store is copied and photo shopped on the computer to alter it enough to scan it. These coupons have been redeemed at least a week, and now this figure this out. Finally, we can say no to a customer.

Well, let's see. Think lost some friends from my boring life and passion for saving shelter animals. Only happy stories for certain people. I'm sorry I'm not artificial and pretend my life is a fantasy that is the envy of all my friends. I sleep w/cats, have to ask my Mommy for money cause my job doesn't pay enough (and lost my good job so lucky to work at all), I'm so tired all the time it borders dysfunction, and yeah, I'm dirt poor so can't go anywhere interesting. This is some f***ing fairytale I'm living.

Well, outta news to tell.

Aunt from Omaha

Aunt from Omaha comes to visits and has to spend time with me. She stays at my Mom's place. Mom is crippled and doesn't travel well. Aunt is stir crazy bored out of her mind. They visited the other relatives and Mom complained she wore her out. Aunt has to have activity, but poor crippled Mom prefers to stay put. If you had the flu or broken leg, you wouldn't want to walk all over the city either. So for our outing Aunt insists upon. I offer to drive her to the local historic houses she hasn't seen before. Look them up on the internet.

 

Historic houses closed on Mondays so took aunt to Botanical Center (giant greenhouse and outside gardens) and she complains about all the green stuff (trees and cacti). She wants flowers. We did find some colorful flowers.

 

Then we passed a Chinese Garden down the road (so stopped) to hear aunt comment how weird it was to set in the middle of Des Moines. We do have many Asians here. She thought the pagoda house was weird too asking what do you do with a place like this. I said you can have a reception, picnic, and look at the statues. I rather liked it. Then got on the dam bridge next to Chinese garden and birds circle then diving in the water at once. Couple guys were fishing and people were walking the nearby trail.

 

Then came to my place. Aunt petted Precious once and later told him to get off the couch (which he disobeyed cause I let him on the couch). Showed Aunt pictures on my computer. She was full of questions from do the cats go outside to who move the furniture into my place. Then took Aunt back to my Mom's for supper. Very nice day too, rolled up my sleeves it was so warm. I stored away all my short sleeve shirts.

 

Went grocery shopping, I prefer to do that w/out my aunt exclaiming how my mascara costs more than my milk. She tends to do things like that. Like my Mom, she often blurts out whatever she is thinking with no edit button on how others might interpret what she is saying. I work in customer service and have a strong edit button. Customer misunderstanding you or thinking your are rude can get you fired in my line of work.  

Trying to sleep

Trying to go to sleep when this pops in my head. At 1 AM, I get out of bed to write it down.

There was once a girl from Memphis, streetwise and razor sharp, you think her every smile is meant for you. Your heart bleeds, your soul cries, cause she is no longer there.
She's singing around the world, breaking hearts at every stride.
She is my love, my essence, my reason for being the man I admire and keep her in my heart.


Is this an old song I've forgotten or did my sleepy brain just compose it?


PS.  Brain continued after I went back to bed with this:
Oh sweet girl from Memphis how you break my heart in two, repeat line.
Every time I hear your voice on the radio.
I'm left all alone with the memories of our love wrapped around my heart like a blanket around my soul. How I miss you so.
I shall die tonight, looking upon your face, from the audience.
I'll scream, I'll shout, Everybody knows your name.
My sweet girl from Memphis, repeat line.

Then I finally got to go to sleep. Does this happen to anyone else? I know if I had not written this down (I took paper and pen to bed with me the 2nd time around), I've would have forgotten the whole poem.
Ah, The Adventures of Being Me.

I voted

I voted on the People Choice Awards. Most of the movies, TV shows, and songs/videos I never seen or even heard of so I just pick anything familiar. Gotta pick your favorites, right? Power to the people.

Fabricated story

I get a post from a friend on a social networking site about a girl painting sheets with her mother's lipstick and the mother beats her to death. The girl wrote, I love you Mommy on the shet. There was even a photo of the dead girl covered in bruises and scratches.

So of course I google and search the intenet where and when this story occured. I like facts.I find a story of girl attacked from the new family dog in UK in 2002. Girl in photo looks very much like the one painting sheets with lipstick.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145234.eceGirl savaged by new dog www.thesun.co.ukGIRL of two mauled by dog three days after her family gave it a home..


It is a complete lie. Shame on people who make this stuff up. It's called tabloid journalism.

Cat-Houdini

Did laundry today and the great Cat-Houdini (aka Precious) snuck out the door. He refused the harness, but in the hallway it is going on like it or not. He didn't like being trapped in the laundry room. He also didn't like the windy weather either so we stayed out 20 minutes.

Worked on my story a little. Why is coming up with ideas and plotlines so hard this time? I have 2 finished novels and 3 unfinished stories. I should be filled to the brim with ideas. Ugh. Better brush up on my mythology and fairytales. My pathetic life gives me no inspiration.

Am I that annoying?

I know I annoy people for having a passion for helping animals in shelters. I hear from friends how they or friend of theirs get pets from neighbors, friends of friends, or from a breeder when at the same time they are costing an animal inside a shelter their life. Yes, my first kitten Precious was from a friend who was eager to get rid of her kittens. She selected me before the cat even got pregnant b/c for years I wanted a cat like my sister, but didn't think I could afford it. Then Precious was dropped on my lap. My cat Frodo came from a shelter as I refused to have a kitten forced on me again.

But my passion is not shared by others who like living in their little world of house, spouse, kids, pets, and friends to ignore the world around them. I know it is my fault for caring too much. I have no house, no spouse, no kids, nor any friends to occupy my time so my pets and my novels become my hobby. My cats are so lucky to be someone who adores them, takes care of them, and would discard any person who told me to get rid of them. Animals are not decorations in my home. Sure, when I lost my job I thought of taking them to a shelter and pray they are not killed from being afraid of people (hey, you get rejected by people on our walks and you would be hestitant approaching them too). But, if I actually did that it would be giving up all hope the happy times will come back and I would be jumping off a bridge shortly after. I would never let them starve in an empty home.

I know I'm a sad story who feels so powerless and advocating for shelter animals is the only power I can find in powerless life.   

Busy days off

Have 3 days off in a row. What will I do?
Agenda:
Carve pumpkins, but first need newspaper and buy groceries while I'm at it.
Work on novel, I have ideas floating in my head, but need to put in time order and write it down.
Check want ads for any full time positions (very rare anymore).
Watch Halloween specials. Got Garfield and Legend of Sleepy Hollow done. Have Hocus Pocus and Charlie Bown left.
Can't think of anything else.

Wedding reception

Went to my cousin's daughter's wedding reception tonight. Was good to see faraway family in person again. Mostly keep in touch through the internet. At least I recognized them, when my internet-challenged Mom and sister couldn't recognize our cousins' kids very well. My Mom can't remember any of my cousins' kids names. I think the last time was saw each other was my Dad's funeral a few years ago. Weddings and funerals is when we get together now.

Another upset customer

Made customer mad when I did a store credit card application for the person ahead of her. I should have warned my clients I was going to take a long time. Yeah, and she could have moved to any 3 cash registers ready to help her at any moment she got tired of waiting too. I think people just want to complain instead of solving a problem.


Had another customer debate a wrong price, but didn't know what the correct price was (just thought it was lower than scanned). So he goes to check the price. If the scanned price is wrong, I will alter it, no problem (If we did our own price changes I bet there would be less of this problem). Meanwhile, another person wants to check out and prior customer returns while I'm helping that person. So he waits patiently for me to finish and I give him an extra discount for his patience (I do that when customers move carts out of the way so I don't have to also). I told him: It's pays off to be patient, I'm much nicer. He agreed.

PS. Didn't give the 1st paragraph lady any additional discount. 

Interesting speech

I am ringing up a customer when a lady interrupted asking if our store manager was here. Haven't seen here so call a manager to ask, thinking lady is possibly a friend. No, she is on vacation right now. Lady explodes into "How can we not have a manager in this entire store!". Um, that's not what I said, but I can get a manager here since I am speaking to one on the phone (just not the top dog). Then lady decides she wants the shoes manager instead. I'm not sure who that is, but I say nothing.

So lady disappears ( I hate it when people do that after screaming in my face demanding a manager, but many do that when their tantrum has ended). Manager shows up and asks customer I'm helping if she needed help. Nope, the lady is behind me (ok not disappeared, just out of my view). Well, I helped 4 customers so didn't catch what the problem was. I caught the manager saying "I understand your frustration" and "Yes, that does tend to happen".  Then lady storms out. Don't ask what lady's problem was. Sometimes it is best not to ask questions.

A Rescue Group's Answering Machine

A RESCUE GROUP'S ANSWERING MACHINE




Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.



Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old dog.



Press 3 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.



Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.



Press 5 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.



Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY and pick up the dog you no longer want.



Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.



Press 8 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.



Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.



Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.



Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work.



Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.



Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.



Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because I won't take it.



Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.



Press 19 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred dogs that we have an abundance of.



Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.



Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.



Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.



Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.



Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.



Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.



Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.



Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because it is declawed, but you are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.



Press 28 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.



Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.



Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel.



Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.



Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.



Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.



Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.



Press 35 if it is Christmas Eve, and the Shih Tzu that you got 7 months ago because your 8 yr old and your 11 yr old PROMISED to take care of it isn't working out and you are going to teach them a lesson by making them walk the dog up to the rescuer's door to give it up. Merry Christmas, kids!



Press 36 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family.



~Author Unknown, but much appreciated



.

Poor Precious

Precious is ready to tear apart the front door to take a walk outside, but he refuses the harness and now it's raining. Poor Precious. In addition to that, I singed my finger removing fish sticks from the oven. How's your day going?

Pass it on

Niece in college wrote a poem about an unknown jerk stealing her cookie. Ah, I passed my passion for writing down to next generation. Proud aunt here.

Good prayer

This is from a friend.

Now I lay me down to sleep;


I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

if I die before I wake,

will someone please get rid of my porn before my mom goes through my stuff...

Halloween card

Received a Halloween card from aunt with her usual disappointment we don't talk much. Sorry our lives are too boring and routine to have many stories to tell. She said she spoke to my Mom on the phone and disappointed my Mom didn't have more news about us. Let's see, we work, take kids to school, dance classes, playdates, homework, take pets for a walk, plant flowers in the backyard, ride bikes, take walks down the street, and worry what will we do if we loose our job. Not many stories in those things to tell my aunt, or even my Mom.

Let's go over my stories I told this week to my coworkers. Nephew disassembled his toys with Daddy's tools (he got a child tool set for his birthday). Bret Michaels visited my cousin's daughter's wedding celebration taking place on top of a tour bus in Las Vegas (he saw they were having fun from his limo and decided to join the party). Got a catnip plant and started a cat fight when Frodo didn't want to share. That's about it. Today visiting niece and nephew to deliver Halloween specials (Peanuts, Winnie the Pooh). I'm my sister's personal video rental store. But, I only get movies I like and anything I don't have she can TiVo off the satellite. That should take up about 5 minutes of conversation f I actually spoke to my aunt on the phone. Amazing we have FIND stories in our daily lives to satisfy my aunt's lonely life. 

Not much happening here

Sorry for not posting for a while. Not much happens around here.

Let's see, um. Had a tag switcher. Yes, in the addition to shoplifters who don't pay for their merchandise we have tag switchers who give themselves a huge discount.

Definition of tag switcher: Person who removes a lower price tag off 1 item and places it on a higher price item, then complains the scanned price is not correct and demands the lower tag price they put on declaring they found it that way. Well, this person who pretends not to speak English, but understands everything I say, didn't complain until after I gave her change. Which means, I have t call a manager to give a refund. I explain to manager that all the customer's item prices are wrong (clue to spot a tag switcher) Manager refuses the refund explaining the tags are wrong and scanned prices are correct. Customer doesn't want the items now since she ain't getting them 99% off and leaves.

Manager called whoever about catching a tag switcher (another clue is they place the clearance sticker on top of the UPC code hoping I won't able to scan and just type in their price, but often I remove the tag to scan it and refuse to believe a $50 steak knife set is marked down to 99 cents). Manager leaves and come back later stating they stopped the person at another store. I'm unsure if that meant arrested or just caught, but didn't ask questions. In the end, they were caught.  

At least it gave me a story to tell my friends, right?