Dealing with Demetia

Read an article in a magazine about the biography of a nightmare boss who got demetia and how it changed lone employee's outlook on life. First Maria Shriver discussing demetia and now this lady. Articles like this would have nice when I was dealing with a grandma with demetia. At the time, I searched bookstores and internet all over to find an ideas how to deal with people with demetia: and found nothing. Maybe these stories can help someone else so I will do my bio on my grandma.

Grandma was born in 1914 on an Iowan farm when WWI was raging in Europe and America liked being neutral. German was her first language at home and spoke English when they went to town to buy groceries and animal feed. Church was a place called Germantown who conducted their services in German. The official name was St Paul Luthern Church. As America entered the Great War, German Kindergarten was outlawed and churches tossed the German changing their services to English. Many were outraged at this change cause they did not know how to sing songs or say prayers in English. My Grandma's Grandpa from Prussia came to America 60 years before as a young man, fought in the Civil War, and announced they were Americans now so from then on, they speak English at home.  The war ended and Prohibition began making my Grandma's father a bootlegger. Grandma said she asked why he was illegally making wine in a wash tub and he answered that everyone else was doing it too.  The Great Depression followed with the end of Grandma's one room school days at age 13 to help her mother take care of her 4 brothers and sister. She said once that her mother cut short a woman's dress to fit her and she was so humilated wearing an old lady's dress that she arrived at school late. And then nobody noticed her ugly dress.  She loved to doodle birds from cards attached to baking soda boxes.  She once got into trouble at school for not paying attention while doodling and when the teacher saw her birds, he said nothing more.  During the Great Depression, Grandma said her siblings and her would walk out in fields like hunting dogs to scare rabbits out so her father could shoot them.  Whatever he hit, was what they had to eat. Her father lost the family farm to foreclosure and her uncle bought it at the auction so they didn't have to move.

Grandma got her first guitar from her father and she was the only one who played it. She would play for parties and church talent shows with her sister singing, until she married and then only played for the family.  She liked to replace our names in nursey rhyme songs (Jordan had a little lamb), sing Christmas carols, and folk songs like Oh Susannah. She learned to play from a book and yet never learned to read music so she played by ear. I told her she should play for 4th of July talent shows, but she never did. I was sad at her funeral when the preacher never mentioned her guitar in the sermon of her life. It meant so much to her and she was delighted I was interested in learning to play, but she didn't know how to teach me. He did mention how Grandma tried to get a cow out of a mudhole and refused to leave after it began to rain making everyone else run inside. She tugged on the rope alone until it got unstuck and walked it to the barn.  Grandma met Grandpa through people and got married at the courthouse. They came home w/out any wedding photo and no party to have Grandpa get sick for a week. Grandma said she wore a blue suit and Grandpa gray with his cousin as the driver. On their 60th Anniversary, they renewed their vows complete with big dance party and family potraits. Grandpa had told the preacher that he wanted to remarry Grandma in a church to do it right.  My father was born and they lived in a house on Grandpa's great uncle's farm where he was raised from age 10. Later they moved in with great uncle, great aunt, and their their daughter. There house contained 4 rooms: kitchen, living room, bedroom, and attic.  My aunts followed my father as did WWII.  Grandma's 3 brothers fought in Europe knowing German with the 4th brother too young to fight. Grandpa was drafted, completed his physical, ready to ship out to basic training, and then the war ended so instead of saying good-bye to Grandpa, they all celebrated in town.

The 50's brought the deaths of great uncle and great aunt so Grandma suggested Grandpa working for the railroad instead of working a farm by himself.  They moved into town in a new house sold in a auction.  Grandma said my aunts were so terrified of this huge house they huddled together in the same room.  My father and his sisters got their own rooms and Grandparents slept in another room.  Sometime Grandma's mother got multiple scerlosis and Grandma took care of her in her house. When my Mother met her, she could not speak, feed herself, or even hold up her head. But when you walked in the room, she could smile.  Soon my siblings and cousins were born in the 60's and Grandma let us win every game and took pictures of us in her flower beds she adored.  She once had a bedroom full of plants nobody could walk in.  Her favorites were ferns, African violets, Christmas cactus, spider plants, and peonies which she called pie-nees.  My favorite was her magnolia tree my cousin and I used as a playhouse. Grandma saved everything and my cousin and I would dress up in old dresses, high heels, gloves, shawls, hats, and tons of bead jewelry. 70's brought me and 80's brought a motor home for my Grandparents to travel America with the family. I had to wait until age 9 to go on such a trip. 90's brought my graduations and the 60th Anniversary party. Then Grandma started having strokes that effected her memory.  At the hospital she recognized nobody and then at home suddenly remembered everyone.

Grandpa had to learn to take care of Grandma. He was very proud at doing laundry and baking his first chocolate cake. Grandma insisted nothing was wrong with her and demanded to drive herself places. After slipping on ice and breaking her hip, driving was out for good. Then Grandpa's diabetes got worse and he finally died of pnemonia/staph infection, whichever it was. Grandma came to live with my parents and rotated with my aunts and uncles.  Her memory went backwards and once claimed it was 1937, Roosevelt was president, and she had dinner with her mother the day before.  Grandma's sister and brother also got demetia.  Grandma always wanted to do something, go somewhere, and call someone. My mother took caring for Grandma the hardest since she has to be in control of everything in her house and Grandma's demetia was one thing she could not control.  My mother tried so hard to ger her to remember things to only fail miserably. She was embarrassed when Grandma acted strange in public cause then people would think she was crazy. I assured my mother that people can figure out Grandma was not normal fairly quickly. Grandma got bad enough in her demetia to look straight at me and asked who I was.  She went on tirades walking to her mother's house she believed was over the hill. My father and uncle had to retrieve her. She would enter my parents' bedroom and wake them up so they learned to lock the door. Going to work, I had lots of crazy Grandma stories to tell. Others shared theirs. The funniest was a coworker's grandma called her in the middle of the night to complain football players jumped out of the TV, had party in her living room, and used up her toliet paper. She told her grandma to go back to bed.

Grandma eventually landed in a nursing home, something she dreaded, when she had another stroke and could no longer lift her arms to dress or eat.  Grandma's sister followed her into the same home and they enjoyed talking to each other. Grandma's brother went to another nursing home and often take trips to visit his sisters.  The nursing home was celebrating Grandma's brother's birthday when Grandma died. I visited her 2 hours before she died and sang to her Christmas carols since it was 3 days before Christmas. I was so disturbed watching her struggling to breathe I had to leave after 10 minutes. I stopped at a gas station and parked on the wrong side of the pump. My mother called me to say Grandma died.  It was almost more relief than sadness.  We joked that if Grandma lived to 100 (she lived to 90) that it would be a contest to see who was more crazy, us or her. At least now she is with her parents and her husband she longed to be with.    

Happy Birthday to Precious

Precious is 5 years old today. That is about 33 in human years.

More babysitting

Babysat sick niece again. She looked an angel as she slept.

Babysitting

Got to babysit niece who sent home from school with a fever. Poor girl missed the Valentine's Day party.



Gave the cats a Valentine's present, a piece of my chicken strips. Not much, but muchly appreciated. Frodo ate so quickly he started wheezing and I feared he was choking. Lungs expanded so not choking and eventually stopped. He is fine now.



Now off to bed.

New Domino Theory?

So with Tunisia and Egypt overthrowing their leaders protesting for reform we have Yemen and Iran having protests for reform. Proof that America does not need to invade countries to give people freedoms they desire. So in the future world history books do we call this a new domino theory where one leader is overthrown and next countries over overthrows their leaders. Perhaps to use the football term, Wave of Reform or perhaps Tidal Wave of Change. Just a thought.

Happy Heart Day

Happy Valentine's Day to one and all. I'll be home with two cats.

My goodness

What does it take to get the income tax form from the unemployment? My address has not changed and  I received my W-2 forms from my other jobs. I complained once so if it doesn't show up tomorrow, I'll lodge another complaint. Next time I'll ask if I need to come down to their offices to pick it up.

Babysitting

Babysat niece and nephew today. Nephew was well behaved, until I left the room then he ran all over the house w/niece tailing him. Then I come in from all the racket and threaten to send him to his room and he calms down mighty fast. He knows what's behavior is acceptable by now.

Valentine box

Today I dropped off my Mom's Valentine assorted chocolate box and her reply was: "There are so few". (Sorry but 7 pieces for $2.50 is about all I can afford right now) She gave a donation for my cousin and wife's baby gift so I forged her name to the card. I got 2 monkey outfits and neatly stuffed them in a large envelope the best I could.

New addition

We have a new addition to the family. Cousin and wife had their long awaited baby at 7 lbs and 14 oz yesterday. Baby and mother are healthy.

After a day of thinkng, they decided on Jaxson Paul.

Need a laugh?

OK, email pal, who lives in England and staunch atheist with a few Wican friends, receives a knock on the door from a Jehovah's Witness. He invites him in and offers a cup of coffee. Then asks what the guy wanted to talk to him about. Guy said "Damned if I know. I never gotten this far." Ba da bum. Like it?

Operation Winterstorm

For 5" of snow, and lots of wind, we got the State Patrol and National Guard out rescuing people today trapped in ditches. I got 12"-18" blown against my balcony. I didn't work today (I do tomorrow) so I sat at home enjoying kitties in my lap. Once one gets off, the other gets on so I can barely feel my feet anymore. I had no idea I was so comfy. Did have to leave my warm haven to deliver my rent check. I walked over for that and about froze. Talked to Mom tonight. She played cards with her new buddies tonight. Aunt in Omaha is going stir crazy being trapped in her house while waiting for the snow plow to come by. I said Aunt needs to take up skiing (maybe snowboarding too). Niece and nephew stayed home from school. Many let out early yesterday and closed today. Nephew is learning about Valentine's Day. We have so many holidays in America you know. Well nothing else to add.

Blizzard, again

It is so cold and snowy today that the birds and squirrels stayed home instead of eating on my balcony. Guess they don't want to dig for it either. 6 inches and counting.