Overload of work brought on by missing Labor Day so trying to catch up to everything. General Manager comes to me stating we will work our accounts receivables first thing in the morning. Ok, I have other things I need to work on, like finishing the end of the month reporting I have to complete in the next two days. I go home and roommate is spending the night with a friend. I let the dog roam the house. I become greatly disturbed of my general manager who needs to back off and let me do my job. I do what I was trained to do and what I have access to. I grow emotionally numb to the point I grab a bottle of aspirin. I check online what the lethal dose is. I swallow pills 5-10 at at time over the course of 2 hours. My ears start ringing. I grow very sleepy. My heart is pounding probably from the pills that were for migraines so they have aspirin and caffeine. I start puking all over the couch and can barely move. I keep separating the cats from the dog until I can't get up. My sister called about moving Mom into a nursing home and asking if I wanted anything from her apartment. I couldn't hear much what she said and just replied I was sleepy. I didn't have the heart to tell her I hopefully was dying soon. Saw my guardian angel in the living room and prayed that if the angel wanted me to die to please let me die, if they wanted me to live, then let me live. I am leaving my life into their hands. It's not that I wanted to die, I want the nonstop suffering to stop. I felt the effects of the caffeine wear off after several hours. I got up to go to bed.
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