Sweet Rufus

Petted the kittens today and Rufus came up to start licking the cheeks of Goldberry. Sweet. Goldberry likes to rub her head on my forehead to purr loudly. Happy kitten. The two kittens have started playing with each other in the kitchen.

RIP Patricia Rutledge

RIP Hyacinth Bouquet from "Keeping Up Appearances". I loved that show.

Sweet pups

Sweet. Rosy last night slept in my bed with 2 dogs. First was on my feet, then plopped on my hair. Woke up and she was still on my pillow. Will see if happens again tonight.

New additions to the family

Well, it's been a week so I should let the cat out of bag. I adopted 2 kittens from the local shelter. I named the Tortie, Rosie, and Orange Tabby, Goldberry or Goldie. Dogs and kittens have been nose to nose to have no negative reaction. Today Rosie was on my end table and Rufus on my lap. He sniffed her and she tapped her paw on his forehead. Then Rufus licked her fuzzy cheeks. So sweet. Dogs are eager to play with the kittens, but kittens need time to get accustomed to their new home. Patience.

Losing my therapist

Well, my therapist informed me he is taking a job at a college as a sports counselor. Good for him. He is comfortable leaving me in a good place where I don't really need him anymore. I am recovering from past trauma of my bankruptcy, pets dying, Mom dying, and struggle to find a new job that I actually pays enough to live on. I'll miss him of course, but I wish him well in his new adventure.

Try Again

Reformatted my Ebook, again, and the waiting for approval or rejection begins. Approved for the Print On Demand Bookstore. Progress.

What do I do now?

Farmer's Market is over and people are breathing down my neck to close my shop. I'm stupid for spending money when people don't buy my stuff. I'm sorry it's hard and depressing to toss my dreams in the garbage. This is my 4th year and I didn't want to be a statistic of another small business that fails. I don't know the problem. Is shipping too much? My products are that awful and ugly. Customers want to buy, but don't have money. My brand isn't popular or prestigious enough to buy from. After 40 hours a week working, I don't have much time to spend on my business and write stories to turn into Ebooks. Any ideas? I wanted to make Christmas cards and try macreme ornaments again, but not sure if I should.

Update: Put up a free shipping promo on my social media and shop websites.

AI pushed on us at work

Funny. Corporate office is pushing AI, but we are responsible for emails, letters, messages, etc. that clients receive from us using AI. If that is the case, why don't I write the messages myself. I write better stuff than information pulled from the internet (that is where AI gets it's intelligence). And I know what I wrote. Someone please explain what is so great about AI besides being the new "It" thing.

Last Farmer's Market Cancelled

With thunderstorms with lightening and hail predicted, I received an email they are canceling the farmer's market tonight. Next week is their last one. I missed my last chance to sell anymore Halloween stuff. Why, God, Why? Nobody will buy anthing on my website. I offered a $10 coupon on my social media site and nobody has used it. Dear God, why can't you let me have customers. I got over 1000 views on my social media website and not one sale.

I Don't Need More Stress

Well, cold is much better and just dealing with congestion. Everybody at work and hime has colds now. Who knows who got it first.

Traumas for the day. Put on black pants, knee highs, shoes, and sweater vest with purple shirt. Arrived at work and asked my coworker if my pants looked blue. He said Blue. Had flash of Father of Bride Steve Martin wearing a blue tuxedo he thought was black. I need new light bulbs.

Next, received a group check for work retirement accounts. One I couldn't find the account number and checks must be deposited before I leave in 30 minutes. Contacted advisor in a panic what to do and they found the number under Pending Account. Sigh of relief.

Last farmer's market is tomorrow. Expecting rain so will see if show goes on or gets canceled. What a way to end the season.

Update: I want to cry. I watched the news for the weather report before going to bed. My last farmer's market is tomorrow. Thunderstorms and hail are predicted when the market is open. I cannot risk winds and hail damaging my stall and merchandise. I emailed them explaining that I will be coming. Will see if they shut down the farmer's market tomorrow.

RIP Robert Redford

A great light has gone out. Once I was pushed into acting from family needing money. I met this great actor in the studio store while filming a movie (I was an extra). I was buying post cards to send home and was a nickel short. I was chosing which to give up when this man came behind me, laid a nickel on the counter, and said "A nickel for the little girl". I saw a ton of make-up on his face and asked if he were an actor. He replied Yes, he was an actor. I thanked him for the nickel and went on my way. Ran into him later with my Mom and pointed out the man who gave me a nickel. My Mom said, Oh that's Robert Redford. He looked up and I said Yes, we are talking about you to remind him about the nickel. At that moment, I was so excited about getting a part in an indie film and showed him my audtion riff I did. I pretended to sell apples. He seemed impressed and introduced me to a table of people at the studio to do the audition riff again for them. He got me another part in a movie filimg the following year. The next year, I showed up for the job that lasted a week cause I had a small part playing the younger version of an adult role. I ate lunch next to him. He noticed I wasn't wearing socks with my shoes when I arrived. I showed him the hole in the sole of my shoe to explain socks would get dirty. He asked why I didn't get another pair of shoes. I explained we went to all the 2nd Hand Shops but none of the shoes fit me right cause I had narrow feet. The next day I arrived and there was a shoes salesman with a measuring device and he bought me a new pair of shoes that fit. Throughout the filming, he kept telling me to "Try it this way". He improved my acting for a kid who had zero training other than getting hit in the head by my Mom after every mistake I made. He was such a kind man. Thereafter, I loved watching his movies.

Scam at work

Had excitement at work this week. Advisor received a calendar invite with an attachment stating, "Invoice for your Cryptocurrency purchase".

Yeah, that would be a scam since all purchases for investments are made directly not on credit and my advisors don't buy cryptocurrency, they purchase stocks and bond funds selected by the corporate office. Problem is because advisor reported the invite as Phishing instead of responding with accept or decline, we can't remove it from the calendar. Coworker called the corporate office to ask if our system is being compromised with this calendar invite. They assured us without a response; no compromising took place. We just have to ignore the calendar heading.

Lesson here: Read your calendar invites before accepting or declining.

Ugh. Have a cold. Thank goodness got my farmers market work done. Just have to finish Halloween collection accessories for the website.

Update: Finally finished my Halloween Collection. Tomorrow, I get to make reels and posts to share my designs.

Second to Last Farmer's Market

Did well at Farmer's Market. Sold 5 items to 2 customers. Work had an event for clients to attend. Couldn't attend from the Farmer's Market happening at the same time. More or less a meet and greet of the financial advisors and a free meal with a Investment Company doing a presentation.

More Frustration

I want to scream. I want to cry. I have been trying to publish my Ebook since May, and they are still rejecting it cause it's not formatted correctly. I am getting ready for my next farmer's market in 3 days and finish my Halloween accessory collection (got the clothes done). I don't have time for this. Maybe work on it this weekend.

My day got better. I received my ordered greeting cards and ready to sell them at my farmer's market in 2 days. And not understanding the software of the online site, the words are printed on the wrong side on 4 of the cards. 7 Total designs. I am trying to get work done for my market, I can't even cry or scream in frustration. I got to finish my work and pray nobody cares my cards have the words printed on the wrong side on the inside. Somebody hopefully will think it amusing.

Happy 50th Birthday to Me

I had a great birthday. Came to work and my desk was decorated. After work, I realized my favorite pizza place is closed and others in the chain are on the other side of town. Went to my old hotel to enjoy their pizza and a free rum punch. We went when they do their free reception so got free snacks and soda pop. Then went bowling and I won. Then stopped at grocery store for a margarita bottle and found Blue Hawaiian. I got both both. I did refuse to buy to Lemon Drop Martini bottle. Finally came home to eat my grocery store made birthday cake and drink my bottles. Then finished my laundry and read emails.

Birthday party at work

Had pizza party at work with an angel food cake made by an advisor. Got cards from everyone and some gave gift cards. Took home the leftovers.

Birthday Party

Almost 50 years old. I know, scary. My siblings threw a birthday party for me at Pizza Ranch. I originally wnated Godfather's Pizza, but Pizza Ranch had rooms we could reserve for the party. My brother and sister-in-law, 2 sisters and both brother-in-laws, 1 niece, 1 nephew, 2 aunts, 1 uncle, and 2 of Mom's cousins came to the party. My aunt wanted a big party to celebrate the milestone at a fancy restaurant. Yeah, I wasn't plannign a big party since hardly came to my big 40th Birthday Bash at a city park shelter. At least I have a bunch of birthday cards a few presents. 1 bottle of lotion, money, and flowers. I took home some decorations plus some cake. Roommate and girlfriend enjoyed the cake.

Birthday Coupon

I want to cry. I received a coupon for my birthday from my own online shop. Only 1 other email has gone out to collect a birthday from a new email subscriber and they refused to join my birthday club to get a coupon for their birthday. I am the only member of the birthday club. In celebration of my new Halloween and Autumn clothing and accessories line coming out using a print on demand company, I put out a coupon code to get $10 off. Is anyone willing to buy my merchandise if I give you a coupon? Or will anyone be like my retail customers using my $10 coupon a dozen times to get items completely free and not pay a cent (well customers do have to pay for shipping).

Update: I used 2 coupons and could only use 1 coupon per order. The $10 coupon is set to 1 coupon per email address. I put in 2 orders and everything worked like it's supposed to. Got emails from the site telling me I have orders (set up so I know when to mail out my merchandise out to customers).

Getting ready for the end

Used up my craft supplies for my last 2 farmer's markets. Got the Halloween and Autumn things out. Praying I sell something. I'm going to have to close my shop completley and focus on writing books (that also don't sell cause I'm not a rich and famous celebrity).

Making pictures for greeting cards

I actually put in Halloween in Bing AI Image Creator and it refused to create an image due to violent nature of the request. But it makes images of witches, bats, cats, Jack o'lanterns, and ghosts. Guess AI can't tell the difference between a slasher movie and a holiday. Funny.

Actually put in "watercolor cute brown bat in pumpkin" into the Image Creator and refused to create due to dangerous content detected. Used a different image creator and got 4 cute bat (animal bat) in pumpkin pictures. Now the hard part is picking one for a card.

Spot a Psychopath

Interesting. Came across an article how to spot a psychopath with 1 question. Naturally I wanted to know the question that would reveal an evil person. It is: "A person who saves a life saves the world"

I think that line was in Schindler's List at the end. Article said a psychopath doesn't understand what this means because they lack empathy. I understand what this means. It pertains what people call the Butterfly Effect. One interaction, One kindness, One accident, One discovery, etc. can alter the world not just the one person involved, but for others too.

My Favorite Angel Food Cake Recipe

I have a financial advisor who loves to bake. I said I love Angel Food Cake with a glaze like my Grandma Stearns put on hers (I wish I had asked her for the glaze recipe and found a recipe on the internet that has powdered sugar and water). She asked for my recipe for angel food cake so today I brought in a box of cake mix. Just add water. I searched the internet and all angel food cakes want 12 egg whites. That is a bit much to handle for a cake. The advisor burst out laughing.

Pet DNA test revealed

Well, last day of entering my contest guessing the breeds of my dogs from the results of their DNA test has passed so here are the answers.

Anna is 89% Pembroke Welsh Corgi (the breed she resembles), 7% Cardigan Welsh Corgi, and 4% Rough Collie (I didn't see that coming, Lassie Come Home).

Rufus is 31% Chinese Crested, 31% Chihuahua, 21% Rat Terrier, and 17% Cardigan Welsh Corgi (OMG both are Corgi Mixes, I didn't see that coming). Shelter said he was a Wire Haired Jack Russell Terrier/Chihuahua Mix.

And the winner of my contest is nobody cause nobody entered the contest. Oh well, what can I do?

Another Farmer's Market

Doing 2 Farmer's Markets in a row to capture the Back to School people and State Fair visitors. Tonight sold 2 items to 1 person. They wanted matching color items so I assumed they were a gift. They left happy.

Online Shop Contest

Got the results of the dog DNA tests. Having a contest on online shop website to guess their breeds. Winner who guesses the closest gets a a backpack of their choice from my Back to School Collection and some school supplies. On my shop page, I said to Message your guesses for either dog or both, your choice of backpack, and address to mail it to you. For my peeps, I give hints. Anna is not a purebred Pembroke Welsh Corgi and Rufus is not a wire haired Jack Russell Terrier. Contest ends August 15. Will see how many people enter for a free backpack or two.

Farmer's Market

I want to cry. I sold 1 item at the market. I kept having anxiety and doing breathing exercises trying to calm down. Then someone walked by and I said hello. Sometimes they turned their head to say hello back.

Compliance Visit

Had fun with the compliance corporate person today. Questioned everyone. My questions pertained to phone voicemail. Does it say the name of the company in the message? What if they call and advisor's cell phone, does that voicemail say the company name? Had to listen to our voicemail message and yes, it says the name of the company. As to their personal cell phones, I couldn't answer.

RIP Loni Anderson

I loved her in WRRP in Cincinati as the secretary Jennifer and followed her marriage to Burt Reynolds in the tabloids.

1st Groomer Visit

Had adventure today. Dogs went to their 1st Pet Groomer Session. Had nice bath and nail trim, plus a teeth brushing. Then went grocery shopping. Next to nephew's birthday party. Sister finally text messaged last night when his party was. Steak house where we had to wait over an hour to get to the table. Then had to leave to collect dogs from groomer before they closed so took a to go box after barely eating my food. Got home and they had to potty. Worked on new bracelets for farmer's market (need more of the longer bracelets). And I forgot to feed the dogs until I was getting ready for bed. They seemed off like they didn't want me in bed. Then I remembered I didn't feed once we got home. Got dogs fed. Now to bed.

Happy Birthday Nephew

Happy Birthday to my Nephew in college learning to be a coroner and solve crimes. Sister never mentioned any party and he might be working so have to deliver his card next time I visit.

Back at the Farmers Market

Had a delightful time sitting aroudn waiting to sell 6 items. At the end when put away my stall, a group came up excited about my merchandise. Had someone asked if I owned a bunch of otters. No, it's the name of the brand.

Ebook Drama

I am ready to scream. Waited a whole month for another rejection for my Ebook Distribution. I have been trying for 2 months and 3 rejections formatting this ebook so these people will distribute it to book stores. My NCX is not formatted correctly. Of course, they will not tell me how to format it correctly so they will accept it. I have a farmer's market tomorrow, I don't have time for this ring around rosy, take a guess how to format a Ebook correctly.

P.S. I used Google and found an article saying to click Navigation Pane in the Word ribbon and highlight the chapter titles to click Heading 1, 2, 3 to create the ebook Table of Contents. Sigh. Have to do this later.

Went to my therapy appointment today . Had trauma gettign with 2 accidents and contruction causing a bottleneck. It was amazing I showed up on time. Expressed my doubts about roommate's job. Took him to work twice. 1st day they sent him home cause manager wasn't there. Next day he didn't have his documents for the onboarding so had to go home and get them. I did pick him up at nearby gas station. Therapist suggested I call the store and ask to leave a message for him so affirm he really has a job there. Another things stressign me out was that I bought him a $400 electric scooter for him to get to work and the next day he drove it through a mud puddle cause it was all terrain with tires like a truck. Electric scooters are not water proof and the engine wires were destroyed by the water. Now it doesn't work. So he wants to go get his girlfriend's scooter, 45 miles away. I have a therapy apppointment and need to get ready for a farmer's market. I don't time to drive 45 miles to get a scooter. I sent him the money to get a ride service. $40 to 45 miles plus tip. I hope I can return the scooter that he destroyed in 1 day. Therapist wants to meet this guy who I keep sheelign out money for and get nothing in return. Very hard to explain to others. I never had kids, and I am trying to help get back on hhis feet. He has issues that prevent him from succeeding. My Mom helped me when I was broke and on the edge of being homeless. It is my way of paying it forward. I know he is trying. He wants to get his own apartment, marry his lady, and have a family. He needs to get out of his own way.

Taking advice of contracting the store to find out if rooommate really has a job, I stopped by the store to get his schedule saying I was his roommate and he said the manager was working on his schedule. They wrote it down for me. I told him what I did and how proud I was of him for getting a job he actually wanted. He can now work hard and make his dreams come true. He was furious I went to the store to get his schedule. He had to beg for the manager to hire him after he blew them off the first time. He had to spend the night cause he couldn't get a ride so late at night and came back the next morning while I was at work. Luckily he had his keys to get in the house and made it to work with his girlfriend's scooter (which I paid for).

Roommate's First Day

Well, drove my roommate to his first day at work at 8 AM. He is furious he can't come in later and work a night shift. I explained maybe they were testing him. Plus, day hours is when the manager is around to train employees, but didn't mention that part. He text messages the manager wasn't there so they sent him home. Now I wonder if he is lying again. Came home and nothing is cleaned. I siad I am not advance paying him anymore. He spends the money on cigarettes or games controller then doesn't do the job. He doens't get paid until the job is done.

Made it to the Beach

Finally made it to Gray's Lake this summer. And it's cloudy it's hard to tan. Damn this continuous rain. Water was warm (usually it's cold). Had a twist (chcoclate and vanilla) soft serve ice cream cone that was delicious. Though after I got home and showered, my muscles were a little sore from swimming. People told me the water would be polluted with ecoli, but I checked online and beach was open. 2 others in town are closed from ecoli but not this one. If it's so dangerous, why is the beach open and refreshment stand open. They rent paddleboards and paddleboats along with kayaks.

Roommate got job, I hope

Well, roommate got a job. At the same grocery store he lied about having a job and then said he just couldn't make it to work at 11 AM his first day cause it goes against him getting up at 2 PM. He wanted to go to a movie to celebrate his new job. Yeah, I will celebrate when he gets his first paycheck. I don't fully believe he has a job when he lied about it the last time to avoid getting kicked out. First he said they have to run a background check and since his scooter handle broke, he will have to walk to work until the new scooter arrives. Well, here's hoping he does have a job since Medicad will get cut off if he doesn't get one soon. He was so happy talking to his girlfriend about having a job, maybe get 3 jobs and make money to get a car to do food delivery. Maybe he actually has a job this time. But he lied last time too so full of doubt.

RIP Ozzy Osborne

RIP Ozzy Osborne. The Prince of Darkness has gone to the light.

That was a first

Well that was a first. Anna headed for the door when I went into the kitchen to make lunch. So I let the dogs out since we haven't been out since early this morning. Neighbor next door mowing his lawn with his dog in the yard starts shouting "You had to bring those fuckers out when I'm mowing the lawn!" then he called his dog to go inside and Anna is by the fence pooping. Dogs were happy to see neighbor dog. Then shouts "You fucking bitch!". Naturally that caught me off guard so waited for Anna to finish her poop and called dogs to go inside. They hung their heads like they did something wrong. Why did he have his dog outside if he was mowing? I always keep pets inside when mowing. I met the neighbor before and introduced his dog to us.

Roommate discovered broken eggs in the carton and asked permission to hurl them at the neighbor who cussed at me. I gave permission to do whatever he wanted.

Another Interview and Farmer's Market

Roommate was trying to get an interview at another fast food place and eventaully was granted an interview. X fingers. He is getting heat from the Medicaid new law demanding able bodied people work 20 hours a week to kkep their Medicaid. If he gets a job with health insurance, he can kiss Medicaid good-bye. Medicaid sucks and hardly any doctors or dentists take it.

My advisor stuck in another city finally make it back home last night and arrived at work today. Poor advisor.

Had my farmer's makret again. Sold 5 items. Better than nothing like last time. I even offered a job to roommate to help with marketing sicne he thinks I should explore more social media websites. I don't have time to run the few social media pages I have now. He refused to work for me.

Drama Contnues

Fast food place is out. Same one girlfriend worked at and had a guy kept coming on to her that also got her fired when he told her to go home after she dealt with an angry customer.

Why they gave him an interview I do not know.

Tonight Austin is packing up girlfriend stuff. Apparently she communicated then blocked him again and he is tired of her games. He says he is done with her. We will see what happens.

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Birthday Mom in heaven. She would have turned 86 today. We had a tradition that I called her and sang Happy Birthday song to her. Now I have to light a candle in her memory. I had a dream of her last night. She hugged me and told me I will be okay and make some money, she always knew I would. I hope that means I will make at least 1 sale at my farmers market or sell some clothes on my online shop. It would be so nice if people liked my clothes. As a kid I loved drawing pictures of dresses, but sewing was not very exciting. I'm more of an artist than a builder. I woke up suddenly to cry out "Mommy" in my dark bedroom. My roommate was in the kitchen and asked if I was alright. I told him my dream of Mom and cried "Why did she have to go?". Then went back to sleep so I could get up for work in the morning.

Drama I Don't Need

Girlfriend finally blocked him on online wallet but didn't send back the $7 he sent to pass on messages. Why send a heart then block him? I think it's her family trying to push him out. He is devastated. I told him whether she talks to him again or not, he will be ok and needs to focus on himself. He hates being a burden on me and trying to get a job. Old flame never comes over and then blocks him so he is done with her. She is a single mother with 4 kids working at a fast food place and living in an apartment. Good for her now that her old boyfriend who was violent is out of the picture.

Got an interview tomorrow for fast food place girlfriend worked for. He is desperate. Even called an old job to get rehired. He thinks going by past texts from her before concluding she blocked him so she's not a distraction and he will focus on getting a job.

Well girlfriend finally stopped blocking roommate to explain she seeing someone more gentler and still wants to be friends. She said he can keep stuff. He is focused on his job interview tomorrow. He hates fast food but can't get factory work. At least he has an answer.

Had my therapy session tonight. I'm hurt. Blew out a tire yesterday and roommate put on the donut tire (which neither of us done before and needed to look at the manual). Then today before work, I go to the mechanic I've used for years to drop off the car to replace the tire and they take me to work that is 10 minutes away. Looked at tire and can't repair it. Also the rim is bent so might need to replace that. Mechanic looked at my other tires and said they were worn down to need replaced too. Looked at the year on tire and it was 2019 when it was a 2020 I bought in 2021 with 4000 miles on it. Plus alignment and suspension check. Go to work and advisors question if I really needed all 4 replaced when my mileage was 29,800. Tires must have been cheap or used tires to wear down that much. I checked online and tires need replaced 40,000 miles or 6 years. I don't know if I needed new tires or completely taken advantage of. I might need to check for 2nd opinions before expensive repairs beyond what I ask for. Therapist thinks I need to be more assertive in saying NO. And it's my my Mom's birthday. I didn't need this drama when already hurting.

Dear God, why ruin my day

Well, it was such a nice day out and have therapist appointment tomorrow to rain the rest of the week, so I decided to finally go to the beach and enjoy suntanning and swimming a couple hours after work. It's the middle of July and haven't been to the beach yet cause it keeps raining on weekends or too cold. Today I got a call at work how girlfriend said on social media she is in a new relationship when 2 days ago was their anniversary and they confessed their love to each other. He was suicidal and crying wanting to know what happened between them. She hates me and jealous of me when really should be jealous of someone else. He wants me to know this is all my fault from threatening to kick them out for not having jobs for so long. After work I drive over to where she lives with her family. He had her stuff packed up as an excuse to talk to her. Then decided to leave it at the house so she has to come and get her stuff back. Half way there, I hit a broken piece of concrete on the highway. I swerved to avoid it and it struck the inside of the tire. Had to call my brother in Michigan how to use the jack that came with the donute tire in the trunk, it's a square piece of metal. He said to look at the manual and saw a picture so we were ok. Neither of us changed a tire before. Nicely one end of jack pumper piece fit the tire bolts. It's a donut tire so turned back and went home. Old tire in trunk. Roommate said he prayed all day for a sign from God and took this event as a sign not to talk to girlfriend. He felt happier once he changed the tire. An old flame said she would visit him. Roommate reached out to anyone to talk to. She blocked him and everyone he knows.

When got home, he called her on my phone to leave a voice-mail. He discovered her online wallet hadn't block him so he sent her a dollar to message her. She answered with a ❤. He asked what that meant. I thought maybe her family pressured her to block him and break up with him. The new relationship could be them trying to make him leave. She is a basketcase. I explained she is not strong like me. That heart was her true feelings. She didn't block him after sending the heart. I hear him crying downstairs. Poor dear. He has been trying so hard to get a job and not be a burden on me, then this happens. I told him to focus on himself and give her space cause they have been video chatting practically every day. Hopefully he takes my advice. He is holding her stuff hostage hoping she will come get it. He can't figure out what he did wrong. She said in a post that she knows something, but who knows what. He said he analyzed her behavior to conclude this wasn't her, it must be her family influence, and sent a message saying he will give her space to work on herself and maybe reconnect in the future. He got some booze cause it is more than he can take and suicidal again. I told him not to wake me up again tonight like this weekend when he woke up me up at 3 :45 AM asking for sex then collapsed on the hallway floor crying over the rejection when he just wants to love someone and girlfriend isn't here. Sunday afternoon he said he woke up with no pants on and broken glass on the floor. He completely blacked out and has scrapes on his leg. I heard glass breaking and him crashing around going downstairs so maybe he scraped his no pants legs on the carpet on the stairs. He said he never blacked out before, some fuzzy memory returned later and was embarrassed apologizing for hours. He promised not to wake me up again. He swore no more alcohol after Saturday night black out, but that no longer applies when he is devastated from his girlfriend blocking him. Old flame has to get a babysitter so coming by tomorrow.

Don't know what God's plans are, but my one advisor is trying to get back from a trip. Supposed to come back Sunday then flight canceled due to storms so coming back Monday night. Well that is canceled now. Hopefully he can get back Tuesday. Should have just rented a car and would have been back by now.

Bad Diagnosis

Well, roommate told me that his girlfriend was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She commented seeing things roommate didn't see before so he had suspicion but she would never go see a therapist for her anxiety. He said she is applying for disability. Yes, they are talking again. He really misses her and wants a job so he can get her back. I suggested job training and seeing a therapist to sort out why he isn't getting hired. I'm sure his ADHD and lack of experience has something to do with it. He needs a job to keep his Medicaid. I believe there are deeper issues he needs to address instead of avoiding. But he has to be the one to call and set up an appointment. I can't do everything for him.

Vet visit

Good news and bad news from our vet visit. Ear solution helped remove Rufus's wax build up, but then vet saw inflammation underneath so Rufus has an ear infection. Got an antibiotic to give him the next 10 days.

That was fun swabbing 2 pups' mouth cheeks for their DNA test. They disagreed with it. Had to wait an hour after food/water so test doesn't get contaminated. Hopefully I didn't get them mixed up. I will know they are mixed if Rufus is a female Corgi and Anna is a male Terrier Mix.

Forgetful at work

Form signature page came in the mail that need to be filed. And I can't find the missing pages to file the form. Looking around I ound birthday cards I forgot to mail for an advisor to their clients. I feel so terrible being so forgetful. Now I'm worried they will fire me for screwing up so much. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together. I'm so stressed.

Had fun mowing the lawn. Roommate complained how tall it is getting. Because I paid him to mow the lawn and he never did it so why would mow it. He complained my lawn mower is screwed up and need another. I took the mower and refilled the gas to have it work just fine. I bent over to refill the gas when it kept stopping in the tall grass. I peed my pants. Didn't have to go, it just came out. While I went inside to wash up and put on new clothing. Roommate was amazed how wonderful the mower worked. Yeah, he was filling half the gas tank like the oil shouldn't be full. Like my car, it runs better when gas tank is full. Don't need a new mower after all.

Fun at work

Having fun in the empty office with nothing (or very little I already got done) to do.

Well peeps, I went and did it. Spent hours designing my first clothing from Print on Demand place that connects to my shop I already have cause the website kept blinking and erasing my work. Finally took a snippet of my design and saved it. Now have my designs on bathing suits. I plan to order one myself. I chose swimsuits cause I am sick and tired of going into store, look for my size, and ALL THEY HAVE IS BLACK! Going to work on kids swimsuits tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Favor from Roommate

Well, that was a short. Girlfriend is talking to roommate again. Guess she got over the broken promise.

Roommate wants to build and remove my patio and put in a fire pit he wants to have. I explained I would need a permit to alter my house and its value. Oh, it's my house and I should do whatever I want and ignore the law. I explained I will not have the city knocking on my door and taking down my deck because I built one without a permit to hit me for a fine. We follow the law when altering my house. I looked at fire pit rules they must be 30 feet from house or anything flammable like a tree. Looked up deck permit. Must turn in diagrams of plans, draw out the posts, beams, stairs, and include distance from property lines to apply for the permit. Then it must be inspected 3 times, 1 for post holes, 2 for the frame, and 3 for final product. I need to pay for each inspection. I am certain roommate is not willing to go through that. Then I asked my brother who volunteered for Habitat for Humanity and electrical engineer his opinion of building a deck on my house. My patio slopes. He said my back door is too low for a deck, that's why I have a patio. Sigh. Told roommate no deck. I think he understood.

I made an important decision. I want to see Australia next year. I get a week vacation so unsure if have time to see New Zealand and Tasmania too. Now have to renew my passport, it expired in 2012.

That was fast

Well that was fast. Getting dog DNA tests and offered to get roommate one since he wondered about his ancestry from being adopted. His cost less than the dog tests. Well, I have it set up with his email so he can view the results. He used his girlfriend's phone so his email is connected to her phone. She sees his email about the DNA test and roommate forgot he promised her they would get DNA tests together. He promised and he broke a promise, so she broke up with him. Over a DNA test. I told him I think there was something else more to this. He gets on his phone and can hear him shouting downstairs. He comes back and says they are down stating she is really immature. I should mention at my therapist, guy said roommate needs to find a new home. Give him a deadline to leave or it's 2 more years supporting him. He set the deadline to Aug 31 so I told roommate he needs a job or needs to leave. I cna't keep supporting him forever. Even with my inheritance, I don't want to run out of money before I retire. Nobody else in my family will be leaving me money whenever they die.

Roommate said to cancel the test, but the website won't let me. Guess this means she won't be moving back in when he gets a job. He said she was a distraction, and he needed to focus getting a job. One less mouth to feed for me. I told roommate I was sorry for her breaking up with him over a DNA test I offered. It gave him a mission to get her back and move into an apartment together. I did warn him she would leave him when she found someone with money, and he blew up at me for insulting his girlfriend. He was an escape from her crazy family more than love and he sent her back to her family, so he didn't get kicked out of my house. I asked roommate if we need to mail anything to her and he got upset saying they might get back together. Tomorrow he is to a nearby job office to try to get a factory. He said girlfriend says I interfere in their relationship. To which I reply that if they both left I wouldn't interfere in their relationship. Roommate got upset saying he hates me saying that when they are trying to get their lives together.

DNA tests for dogs

Well, I decided to get DNA tests for the dogs. This will be fun getting results.

Oh no, I am a terrible dog mommy. I looked at the calendar to see Rufus has his vet appointment on Friday. I forgot about putting a solution in his ears to help soften the wax built they couldn't get last time. Did the solution and he shook his ears (which is allowed per directions on the bottle). Have to remember to do it again before Friday. Sigh.

Happy 4th of July

Spent four hours at a farmer's market selling my wares. And not a single sale. Had a girl take interest in a piece of merchandise her mother was willing to buy for her. Then Mama asked if she wanted to keep looking. Girl wanted to keep looking. I literally cried on the way home. Since I won't be replacing sold merchandise on my shelves. Think I will start omn demand printing designs. Thought to buy a heat press and sublimation printer for about $1000. Or I could intergrate an already print on demand shop who connects to the online shop I already have. I make the designs and advertise it. They fulfill the orders and split the proceeds. Costs me nothing. Ebook was rejected again from not having a table of contnets and page numbers. Fixed it and have to wait for the acceptance for distribution.

Went out to see a parade with my dogs and then went to sister's house for grilled food. Her dog was okay with my dogs visiting. Then took them home before going to the fireworks. There was no way I was taking my dogs to see fireworks. Then when got home, my roommate and I set off a bunch of fireworks from the driveway and street. Good thing I'm on a dead end street to lay down pipes without worrying if some car will come along and drive over it.

Bank fees

Nice. Earned 47 cents in interest for a savings account. Bank charged me $5 for a paper statement. Got it changed to electronic statements. Next month I will keep my 47 cents in interest instead losing money every month.

Hoping to get sales at the Farmers Market who are having a big concert street party and city is having their parade nearby. Because of the concert street party, I will be allowed to stay there until 10:30 PM. We will see if I get any business to stay past 8 PM. X fingers.

Return to therapy

Oh what joy is mine. Started therapy again. Had to quit last time cause ran out of money. Much has changed. Declared bankruptcy last summer, lost 2 cats to fleas, started new job, Mom died, and now trying to sell things at the farmer's market to have few sales. Oh, got a new roommate last summer dumped in my house and she got kicked out when I threw a fit about being lied to about not having a job and threatening to kicked both of them out. Now having her gone I have one less mouth to feed. Roommate wants to leave and has a plan, but execution of that plan is dismissal. Therapist says I'm a pushover saying they must leave in 30 days to back down giving more time to get a job, but no deadline. I tried to get roommate to see my therapist and he was ready to go during a crisis where he thought he and girlfriend had a STD, but his hometown friend talked him out of it. So next we talk of my stress. Everyone from family, coworkers, church people, and now therapist now all scream to throw the bum out. It stresses me out not helping me move him out. Therapist thinks 60 days is enough time for him to find a new home and/or new job. Why is it so hard? Believe me, it is hard to get hired when you have the wrong personality that doesn't fit into any workplace.

I have homework. Get together with female primary care physican and get a physical to get help with my anxiety pushing up my blood pressure. Lay down the law with roommate and kick him out at the end of next month. And finally quit my online shop that doesn't sell and focus on my stories I am editing into ebooks. Writing can be therpeutic. Yeah sure. I'm tempted to never go to therapy again. I don't like being pushed into directions I don't like going. But, I think, that is the purpose of therapy to leave your comfort zone and fix problems.

How to make more money that actually works

Thinking of ways to make more money for my shop. Thought of sublimation printing objects to sell. Then found a website that integrates with my online shop website that has a customer design an object for their online shop, they make it and ship it for a commission paid only when there is an order, which means no cost to me and get a share of the profit. All I would do is design and advertise. Would you buy a travel tumbler or shirt designed by me? Have to come up with designs to use. I can use AI to create images though patterns I would have to design. The website I saw does shower curtains, swimsuits, and pillows too. With Halloween and Christmas coming, I could make some wonderful designs that people like.

Vet visit

Took Rufus to the vet for heartworm meds and nail trim. Apparently, he had some wax build up in his ears that was too much to do in 1 visit so will clean his ears twice a week and return for another check up. Don't want baby to go deaf. He was a good boy and not the piggy Anna became after adoption at 16.8 pounds. His first visit during early adoption diarrhea phase he was about 16.4 pounds. Anna gained 8 pounds since her adoption (26 to 34 pounds).

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Today is my parents' wedding anniversary. Feels different with Dad then Mom gone. A friend from school chose the same day to get married so wished her a Happy Anniversary. My parents were 45 years so it is a good day to get married.

Had the printer guy come by to hook up a few laptops to the printer. I asked if they got the scanning functions right. No, they did not add a scanning folder for the new guy. We had a scan function that scans one side of the page and another function that scans both sdes of the page. Why do they leave before everything is situated.

Working on a tan

Temperatures are goign up with all this pause in the rain. Worked on my tan this weekend. People say it's bad for me. I reply, So are your cigarettes.

Had anxiety attacks while sunbathing. Roommate had trouble figuring out what I'm so stressed about when out in a lawn chair relaxing in the sun. Rufus refuses to eat kibble and squirting diarrhea on the carpet again. Farmer's Market is this week and next to grab the 4th of July shoppers. I need to make red, white, and blue items but it triggers anxiety when I put in hours to make stuff people love, but don't buy. Maybe I will have better luck closer to school supply buying time in August. Last market someone asked if I had hair ties. I might have to give up and focus on my stories. I have no time to write and edit, working full time and run my business. I know, people don't read my stories so why waste my time when I can get a part time job that pays. I like writing stories since childhood. It's my hobby. If other people enjoy them, that's a bonus. And I can't work 50 hours a week. I did it for a job and it was too much.

RIP Dad's cousin David

Nice. New guy bought us lunch to test out this Greek restaurant he likes. I got pork tenderloin and fries. It was okay.

Oh no. My godfather and Dad's cousin David has passed away. He had a stomachache so took some medicine. Wife takes the dogs out for a walk to return to find him dead on the sofa. Bet he had a heart attack.

I reached a decision. Roommate and girlfriend need to leave. I'm completely numb about it. I'm having a serious conversation after work. I have reached my breaking point and can't take this anymore. I figured out why I feel so tired all the time, I am getting pre-hypertension. I got a blood pressure monitor. My anxiety is causing spikes in my blood pressure to dangerous levels. I am ready to tell them to find a new home today. Of course I give them 30 days to do it unlike their families who booted them out without warning. If they can get a job, then they can afford a hotel room. I am done feeling sorry for them. I can't do this anymore. My kindness is worn out. At work, I prepared eviction notice to vacate in 30 days. Hopefully they sign it stating they received the notice otherwise we have to go to court and they get an eviction in their credit report where few landlords will take them as tenants. Believe me, it breaks my heart to do this. I had hope of them getting jobs and helping me out.

Well, I came home and roommate had girlfriend leave. Her family was picking her up when I arrived. We had a good talk. He apologized for lying to me about not having a job for a week and gave back the house keys. I said he has 30 days to change my mind or he needs to leave. He said they planned to save for a car for them to do food service, but she got fired and halted that. He said with her at her father’s place which his mother owns, roommate can focus on what he needs to do. He said she was clingy and insecure. I said I would take him over to visit this weekend. Will see what happens.

Free lunch

Had a good work day with little to do. Advisor stopped at a fast food place and got us a free meal. I had chicken strips and waffle fries.

Interesting. Roommate complained the rain pressure is giving both of them headaches. He needs $5 to buy some Advil. Offer to send it to his prepaid card. He wants my cash, much easier. I have complained how my cash is for the farmer's market not his personal piggy bank. I also started hiding the cash after the last farmer's market and I am not taking it out so he knows the new location of it. He claims both of them lost their cards so they need cash. They can scan their phones at many places to use. I refused to back down and sent it via mobile app. Roommate gives up and leaves. Well he managed to get the Advil and showed me the tiny bottle. See, they didn't need cash after all.

Asked Roommate how his job was going. He said he worked at 11 AM for 2 hours today. He said he was high and couldn't talk to me at that moment. I asked if he really has a job or lying to me, so I don't get mad. He got upset I ask too many questions. Got mad at Rufus barking so much he can't speak to me in a normal conversation. Then got mad how tries so hard to keep this house clean and I don't help out. I was unloading the dishwasher during this conversation. And I get along with Rufus just fine and he sleeps with me. And yes, he is lying to me, so I don't get mad. He can't work at 11 AM and needs a night job. I think his original answer how he was rejected was truer than they called to offer the job when most employers send emails with start dates and pay amounts. He was too evasive to be truthful. Who knows if girlfriend still works at the fast food when they stopped asking me to drive her to work at 6 PM. Roommate says she is trying to work at fast food place.

Roommate took walk to return saying he couldn't wake up his 1st day at 11 AM, which was the day the smoke alarm went off when I was showering. Then said girlfriend got fired cause she left early from a coworker telling her to go home after a customer confrontation cause she couldn't figure out who the manager was. She goes to work the next day and general manager fired her for leaving early the day before.

Work meeting

Had a meeting to determine who does what around the office. New guy is busy telling the advisors what his old office did. They like some things he is saying.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day. I attended church, then brunch with brother's friends, and then took off to viist my Dad at the cemetery. Left him a red rose with black ribbon then played "Taps" on my smartphone. It is my tradition.

Woof, Woof

Neighbors decided to shoot off fireworks in their driveway making the dogs bark. Roommate and girlfriend came upstairs asking if everything was alright from all the noise they heard.

Happy Friday the 13th

Well, water department was on the news yesterday afternoon banning watering of lawns in Des Moines and surrounding areas. Guess their plea to cut demand didn't work. Received an email from water department stating violators will have their service turned off. And they say splash pads and pools not recycling water (like a kiddie pool) can't be used. We are banned from washing cars too.

Had a fun day at work without any advisors there. 2 are on vacation and 1 was working from home. Just me and new kid. Apparently he is fully licensed and had one year at the prior place. He has a few clients of his own and may take on more as the elder advisor retires, expected in the next year or two. They can stop looking for a new secretary with him here now as financial advisor-in-training. Unsure about the other advisor coming on board and search for a new office. He actually tried to get me to move my investments to the company under him. I explained I dislike my employer being in charge of my finances which opens myself to their abuse of power. Granted, newbie is not my boss, but the company is.

Hooray!! I can keep my job. Got approval for my investments part of another company as long as I do not direct stock trades. I manage that. I have no desire to become a financial advisor.

Happy Birthday Brother

Had adventous day. Took a shower and didn't get the door all the way closed to keep the steam from setting off the smoke detector. Dog opened the door and eventually the smoke alarm goes off. I was washing my face so couldn't run out to remove the battery. I heard roommate yelling about the smoke alarm going off. Well, he did ask me to wake him up before I left to get to his first day of work at the grocery meat department at 11 AM. He plans to save money for a security deposit to get an apartment and finally get out of my hair. I am so proud. I tell him to keep trying to get where he wants to go. Sometimes you have to work jobs we hate to get the jobs we want. That's life.

After work, went to the farmer's market and managed to sell 1 item, for $1. What does it take to sell my wares/ I swear I am going to have to close my shop for good if I don't make sales soon. I hope my Ebooks sell, but so hard to get anypne to buy one cause I am not rich and famous. My sister and niece came by my stall. They bought me ice creama nd a snow cone. Snow cone spilled all over the front of my shirt. Nice to show customers. After the farmer's market, I went to my brother's house for birthday cake. My niece was tickled about the smoke alarm story from this morning.

Came home and there is a racoon in my front yard. They hid behind a tree when I put back the garbage can. I don't know if dogs knew they were there. Probably after the goodies at the bird feeder. I have seen rabbits eating from the bird feeder. Let the dogs out back yard to pee and came back inside. Raccoon is about the size of Rufus.

Received a message that my Ebook distribution was rejected because I didn't upload a separate title page and copyright page. I put in all the information but apparently not good enough. Have to deal with it tomorrow cause no time for it tonight. SIgh.

Water Department Notice

Interesting. Got an email from the water department asking to stop watering our lawns. High levels of nitrates need to be removed from our water at the treatment facility and can't use Raccoon River water. If demand for water doesn't go down then watering lawns will be prohibited. Trust me, if my lawn died from a drought I would be happy I didn't have to mow it.

RIP Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys

RIP Brian Wilson. California Girls by the Beach Boys. This song brings back Spring Games at High School. My class lip lynched this song in the talent show (each class did a lip synched song). I wasn't planning on joining in the song, but then someone at the last minute noticed my outfit that day where I had on floral shirt and shorts my Mom made for me. I walked across the stage with a few other girls (I forget which part). Can't recall what we placed or what year it was, but I remember walking across the stage like an awkward deer in headlights unsure what I was supposed to do.

Dog walks

Walks with the dogs are getting interesting. Anna sits down pooped out, refusing to move. Then a dog comes by and she is ready to run with the dog. Have to hold them both back and let the dog go by in peace. She runs about 20 feet and then pooped out again.

Added responsibilities

Guess the boss's kid who is an intern decided they didn't really like working for 8 hours on a computer doing repetitive tasks cause it's boring. I held back from saying after working fast food, retail, and hotels standing on my feet 8 hours and dealing with difficult customers complaining about everything under the sun with managers ready to toss you under the bus to please those demanding customers, sitting at a desk typing into a computer doing repetitive, menial tasks is not so bad. I replied, It was my dream job. Boss laughed.

New hair cut

New haircut. I can see waves forming in hair. When short, my hair forms waves. When long, my hair is straight Salon hairdresser barely spoke to me while they were cutting. Not a fancy do, just a whack job and blow dry. At least they could have done was style it after cutting, but no. Oh well.

Well roommate bought a new shower curtain that is fabric without a plastic liner. The curtain has green pine trees will match the fish curtain rings beautifully.

Well now roommate says the grocery store meat department manager called him today offering a job. Said there was a misunderstanding when I reacted that he said he was rejected. Doesn't know when he starts or what pay. Will see what happens. I poited out they ususally send an email with the job offer including start date and pay.

Fear and stress setting in

I want to cry. Messaged the financial advisor for inherited funds and haven't heard from them at all this week. I sent them a message Monday or Tuesday expecting to hear by Wednesday. Their office isn't open on Friday to visit on my way home. I'm so stressed I'm about to become unemployed on Thursday, which is a Farmers Market day and my brother birthday. Is this guy on vacation not to respond in 3 days? I checked my accounts and they haven't altered anything. Have to call on Monday.

Roommate said today grocery store manager rejected him. Back to applying again.

New advisor coming

We are getting a new advisor who is changing offices. We might be moving to a bigger office too. And 2nd advisor might come on board too. One advisor might retire in a year or two, but no date set yet.

Plan is working

Well, my plan is working. Since roommate constantly complains, I don't help clean, I asked if it helped to pay him to clean. Trying what my parents did giving me an allowance. Work equals money. Well, he started asking for money to clean my car which he only vacuumed and mow the lawn. Of course, I paid to get him working and feeling he was earning this money. Well, yesterday driving girlfriend to work he announced he spoke to someone at Grocery Store Meat Department. They said to return on Monday to speak to the manager or apply online. He is applying for jobs he wants instead of fast-food places he hates. I hope he gets a job soon. I know my plan to instill greed in him wanting cigarettes and certain foods to buy things himself.

RIP Loretta Swit

RIP Hot Lips Houlihan. I know she played the bitch, but I loved her character. Head nurse that behaved like a surgeon. Nobody pushed her around.

Might lose my job now

My heart is broken. Received notice from corporate that my inherited money and long held retirement funds violate their policy because they are with non-approved brokerage companies. I disclosed my IRA when hired so should have told I was violating their policy then instead waiting 5 months to say something. And I told my advisors about inherited money so should be told at least a month ago that I was violating policy. Now I have to look for a new job. And I got a good review yesterday and a raise in July. Nice people to work for.

I am not fired. I have to comply. I gather their conern is insider trading since I work for financial advisors and doing trades on my my own in my personal accounts. If I buy CDs or US government bonds only, I am compliant. If I ask permission for exception for a managed account, I am compliant.

inancial advisor said to bring statements on Monday and they will look at them instead of looking for a new job. If this is a ploy to be in charge of my personal finances, I must reject it. If I quit next year, I don't want harm to my personal finances cause of an employer. I like keeping personal and business separated.

Farmer's Market Day 3

Beautiful day with little wind. People could see my merchandise instead of stuff in a box. Several stopped to examine the merchandise. Met a Social Media Follower and they didn't buy anything. I got 2 sales and 1 was my niece. The other was a girl who begged her mom for it. Mom said she loved the flower at the glass shop. Girl couldn't recall the flower in the glass shop. Mom reacted, Nevermind then. Girl suddenly recalled the glass flower and wanted my key chain instead. I was touched.

Had my 6-month review today at work. They want to come in earlier to get computer set up and ready to go when office opens. They dislike personal phone calls that are clearly not emergencies. I'm doing a great job considering they fired the other secretary and doing the job of 2 people by myself while barely know what I am doing. I am getting to a point where I know what I am doing and can find things to do. And I get a 3% raise in July. At least I don't have to wait a year for a raise. I love my job.

Discovered I missed the Corgi Cup today. Never thought to race Anna, but need a 2nd person to do the race.

Dogs will be dogs

Rufus is funny. Anna will pee in the grass and after she walks away, Rufus will lift his leg to pee near the area where Anna was. They like to sniff each other when the other goes pee. I tell them to back off or they will get peed on their face. Silly dogs.

Roommate and girlfriend make appointments for my chiropractor for 4:15 PM and ask me to take them after work. I get off work at 4:00. They expected me to drive in rush hour traffic across town (6.7 miles), pick them up, and get to chiropractor (5.4 miles) in 15 minutes. It takes me 30 minutes just to get home. Another 20 minutes to get to the chiropractor. If they are in such pain, then they need to figure out how to get to a chiropractor on their scooters instead of clinging to me like a life preserver. I told them to find one closer and go by scooter. Their excuse was it was raining so they can't go by scooter. Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have a job where I can drop everything and service their needs.

Vet visit

Took Anna to vet for nail trim and heartworm preventative. She has gained 8 pounds since her March adoption. Got to lay off the treats. Got a 6-month pack of heartwork preventative. She despised getting her nails trimmed and whined as if she was tortured. Poor Rufus did not like being left behind and cuddled with roommates until we returned. Poor boy, he thought he was abandoned.

Memorial Day

Visited cemeteries today with siblings. Ran into our 2nd Cousin whose father is buried next to my parents. At cemetery where Mom's side of the family is buried, the Peony Lady visited. I call them Peony Lady who leaves coffee cans of peonies at our family graves, but Mom couldn't never figure out who is doing it. Coffee can of peonies is what my grandma died. Then stopped at Mom's cousin's grave. Someone had to use the restroom so stopped at a gas station. I saw a sign for cheap drinks so got a drink. Then the cashier let me have it free. He didn't say why, just said not to worry about it. I said thank you.

Awkward Conversation

Weird. I am digging through boxes for candles to put in my display out front of the house in the basement for Memorial Day. Roommate comes out of his room in the basement to see what I am doing. Next thing I know he announced that I bend over a lot in front of them and the girlfriend thinks I am trying to hook up with him, like I am bending over right now. Excuse me, I am looking for candles and I do not bend over a lot in front of them. And he is the one who walked into the room behind me when I was moving boxes around. If she is so jealous of me, they can both leave and watch me not cry.

Out of food

Ordered a pizza. Looked up on food service delivery app and prices were high (it's been a while since I have ordered a pizza) that I checked the pizza place website for a better deal. The prices are lower on the pizza place website so put in my order. Apparently, they no longer have delivery drivers because the food delivery service I originally looked up delivered the pizza. Now that is funny.

Roommate asked what the special occasion was. I replied we were out of food in the cupboards and fridge and I'm hungry. Took girlfriend to work and she got upset I ordered the pizza too late for her to enjoy it. We saved her some. She ate the cheesy sticks, but not the pizza slices we saved for her. I'll eat it tomorrow.

Drama

Girlfriend hates her job at the fast food place. Ran into a coworker whose age 45 and keeps hitting on her (she is 19). Told her to tell the manager. She did and they are keeping them apart. Nobody really likes this guy who only wants to hang around teenagers. Roommate wants to work at a grocery store, but than fast food. Had no idea if he ever applied. Got him going to offer to pay him for doing the housework he complains I don't help with. Once he got hands on money he wants more. But then fast food place hired the girlfriend, but backed out of hiring him. He has even told me about buying stocks after I explained the stocks I own from my Mom and Trump's tariffs are killing my stocks when I want to sell them to put money in my IRAs or a savings account at another company. I did buy a few things like a dishwasher. I explained how stocks work, and I guess he got some through mobile app. He does save some money. Cryptocurrency is one of his investments. I guess he owns part of a cryptocoin. Also, that can be bought on the mobile app. Now Medicaid requiring work requirements, he put off getting his wisdom teeth pulled. I told him Medicaid would pay for it, but he thinks he will have to pay some of it. Dentist was wishy washy about payment, so he backed away. Cavities aren't getting filled either. He was supposed to go back for a teeth cleaning, and he didn't go for his appointment. I don't know what is going on with him. Said he doesn't feel pain anymore when earlier he called me at work screaming it was an emergency about his tooth pain and needed urgent care when all the dentist offices would be closed. He says he is saving money to get an apartment and move out. He wants to start a house cleaning company. Cleaning is therapeutic for him. He just needs van for $2000. That and a driver's license. Will see what happens. Have a 3 day weekend. Going to visit cemeteries on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Important Decision Made

I made an important decision. I'm cutting my long hair. I need a summer haircut. I hate wearing my long locks tied up in a bun all the time. I can't wear it down in the heat. I decided on a short bob with layers. Like Meg Ryan. I've been cutting my own hair for years and want a change. I have to go to a salon of some sort cause I can't cut behind my head and roommate dulled all my scissors. Have to find a good one.

Learned today the person they hired and accepted the job, has backed out and not starting next week. Unsure if #2 choice will accept the job, they might be looking for temporary work. But then after they made the offer more applications came in so back to the drawing board and calling people for interviews.

Eavesdropping at Work

Always fun listening to conversations of experts. Today I heard, "How do I explain to my clients that the rate they are spending their money, they will be broke in 5 years?" From my experience, some people must learn the hard way while others listen when told to slow down. I would do a spreadsheet showing how much is spent each month/year subtract from the total investments and show how long this money will last.

Rain trauma

Learned new thing about Rufus. He refuses to go out in the rain to pee. Waited for a break in the rainfall to try again. Anna quickly goes out and does her pee to run right back inside.

Later this night: Took Rufus out with umbrella. Anna doesn't like the umbrella and runs away from it.

Emergency vet visit

Took dogs to the vet today. Anna had diarrhea that was getting all over the living room carpet this past week. Rufus is snoring loudly and had a wheezing fit couple times this morning. Anna was full of anxiety but nothing wrong. They think it was stress from new dog. She some meds and chicken/rice meals for 4 days to deal with irritated stomach. Rufus has inflammation in his nose so gets nose drops. That will be fun. So, got to pay the vet bill that was more than a single paycheck for blood tests and Rufus's radiography they did. At least I have some money now. Thanks, Mom.

7th day of adoption

I just realized today is the 7th day where I can change my mind about Rufus, return him, and get my money back. After the toys I bought for him as smaller than Anna dog and small bits food for him, they ain't getting him back. He is my dog now. Have to get a name tag for him.

Farmers Market Day 2

Had walls for my canopy and almost had everything set up with a broken glass jar when a wall knocked over my table. Then the velco straps of my weights broke, canopy flies into my neighbor. Neighbors help take down possibly broken canopy. And I have to stay here cause not allowed to leave. Can't put up company sign cause box tape won't stick to plastic cover. They need to shut down their market when 35 mph winds are predicted. I bet I sell nothing today either. And forgot my graduation pens and keychains.

Update: I had someone ask if I was selling weed pipes. No, beaded pens, key chains, bracelets, badge holders, corkscrews/wine stoppers.

New rule at work

Had quite a day. The one day I forget my phone on the counter and the work computer wants to verify my ID with my phone. Sigh. Had to go home and get my phone to sign on my computer. Which means I missed 50 minutes of work I have to make up tomorrow. Had appointment after work so couldn't stay later. Then went home and Corgi Anna had vomited/diarrhea all over the floor. Most of it was cleaned up by roommates. Per online, might be irritated intestines, stress/change in food, obstruction, or virus. Took her for a walk and she acted fine though refused a treat before the walk. Yesterday she was walking a little slow. Today she sat down twice to rest so we rested. Might be heat too if she was outside too long for comfort before I came home.

PS. Anna is acting normal on walks at Gray's Lake. I started giving her the sensitive stomach food that came with Rufus (he doesn't like it) and her diarrhea stopped. We cut human food and wonder if chemicals used to clean the floor are affecting her. I got small bits food for Rufus and he loves it so mixing the 2 so he doesn't get diarrhea from food change.

Happy Mother's Day

Visited Mom's grave today plus grandma and cousin's tombstones nearby. Got carnations from the store. Left 2 blooms at each stone. Ran into a high school who helped us order the funeral flowers for Mom. She got a so sad awh, when I purchased my flowers saying I was visiting Mom today. Saw a kid in my confirmation class talking to employees. He is the store manager now. He failed to acknowledge me. That's okay, we never really talked to each other. He did come into a shoe store I worked at with his new wife. I said hello and he explained we went to the same church.

It's a boy

It's a boy. Adopted a dog named Rufus. His owner died and had an elderly dog in the home. He arrived full of anxiety and fleas at his foster parents' home. Cleaned up and confident, he is so loveable. Foster parents thought the dogfs could be separated, but Rufus needs a dog friend to emotional support. Anna is so happy-go-lucky, they would make a great fit. Roommate refused to be there when they visited. I texted him he can return after they left. He was high as a kite.

Freebie

Funny. Go to vending machine and someone else is there. Wait for them to finish their purchase. They whine and walk away. I approached to see the flap where candy can be retrieved is stuck upwards preventing to candy to fall to the bottom. I wiggle it loose and grab a free candy bar. If you want something bad enough, don't give up so easily.

Enjoyed light displays at the local zoo. It's like Christmas lights of animals all ovee the zoo. It started to rain and I was the only one with an umbrella of my group. We waited in a buidling until the rain passed and went through the displays again. Once reached the gift shop, I had to resist buying something and walked away empty handed.

Interview at the office

Had an interesting day. Person came in for an interview. One advisor was with a client; the other 2 advisors were not there. They did arrive 15-20 minutes later and the client left soon after. Who knows what will happen. I said I liked the person because they had a happy personality like me.

Counted merchandise

Counted my box of merchandise and missing a leather bracelet, a pom pen, and a keychain. So counting the pen I gave away, I lost $13 at the farmers market. I got graduation hat silicone beads and diploma charms for merchandise.

Realized the keychain was set aside cause top was torn off so couldn't hang it. So actually lost $7. 1 pen and 1 leather bracelet blew away, 1 pen given away. Not bad.

Woke up in panic looking at the clock to see I am severely late for work. Rush to closet to throw myself together. Then realized it's Saturday. Took dog out to pee and presented her breakfast. Then went back to bed.

Opening day at Farmers Market

Day 1 of farmers market. When I arrived it rained so 2 men helped get my canopy up. Which also means my packages and cardboard box got wet. My white shirt got so dirty I have to keep my jacket zipped. Stuff got dusty in the garage. But a plus I get to sit next to a guitar player. One lady asked if I had copper jewelry. Well, labels say copper or alloy, whatever alloy means.

Later: Please explain why God hates me so much. Wind comes in to blow off the merchandise and blows and blows and blows. Yeah, I spent my time picking up my items off sidewalk and puddles. My sign is ruined. Who knows how much I've lost. Then my display falls into a puddle. So someone suggested a box. Had a kid ask for Pokémon. I'm sorry. That would violate copyright laws. Even better I looked up and a news camera was pointed at me. I literally started crying in front of people. Nobody will step over the puddle to look at my stuff.

Vendor next to me who picked up my sign from a puddle and recommended a box gave me this saying they are sorry for me having such an awful day. I thanked them and offered one of my items. They took a blue pen with a koala silicone bead. I said that was my favorite. What are micro greens anyway? Is this a salad?

I got on TV while holding my stand from being blown away. My license plate was in the background when they interviewed the event person. I had my 5 seconds of TV coverage.

Freaked out over nothing

I think everyone has calmed down about my inheritance. I couldn't believe people were up in arms in terror that I was going to leave my roommate everything and make him power of attorney which would lead to me being killed and accounts emptied. Well, I am still here, accounts have money, and roommate is planning to leave when he saves enough money for an apartment security deposit. In case you didn't figure this out, I have a family that I can leave my belongings to besides my roommate. I am not alone in this world. I can also leave everything to charity if I wanted to and cut everyone out. And I certainly would not pick a power of attorney whom I don't know if they will be in my life 20 years from now when I will need them. My health is good and expect to be around for a while. Seriously, I am not that stupid to put all my eggs in one basket. Get a grip people, I know what I am doing.

Preparing for farmer's market

Working hard on my farmers market merchandise. Then make labels and bag them, next figure out the merchandise display I have to put together, make a sign for the company on posterboard, and put everything into website so I can ring up people. So much to do and have until Thursday to get it done. Excited and stressed. I hope I sell merchandise this summer. Oh yeah, gotta get cash to make change too. Well, break over. Back to work.

Made 45 bracelets before running out of beads. I have 23 bracelets but will until after 1st farmer’s market to buy more. Realized newly ordered bracelets were shorter than older ones by little over an inch. Sigh.

Lovely dream

Had a lovely dream last night. I brought home 2 kittens. I was so happy. Have to check out shelters for kittens. I think grown cats might be scared of the dogs.

Student loans paid off

Well, after 10 years, it has finally happened. I've paid off my student loans. Long road, but at the end. Feel like singing Freedom by George Michael. And I worried about payign them the next 5 years when forebearance ended in May.

Pest Control

OMG, the pest control company person was here that I had problems with last year to the point of contacting the attorney general's office cause they kept charging my card after canceling their contract when took my last hotel paycheck that I badly needed. He even tried the same lines about discount and all my neighbors are using them. Not going down that road again and no, they are not. There is no way they are getting my business back.

Friend suggested their pest control person so have to give them a call. Roommate is freaking over the ants returning. Got ant traps.

Better day at work

Today was better. Worked on preparing for advisor meetings. Why do people need so many accounts? I understand a few accounts, but 10?

Happy Easter

Happy Easter. Easter Bunny left us baskets with chocolate eggs and jelly beans. Got the humans chocolate bunnies to eat. Announced to social media I got a new dog (a Corgi named Anna) with their Easter basket with toys. My niece saw a dog video I put up and told her mom (my sister). Sister calls apologizing for giving me a hard time about getting a dog to the point I neglect to tell anyone I adopted one. Yesterday she calls wanting to meet the dog on Easter afternoon. So took her over. Her dog does not like Miss Eager Beaver who wants to be friends with every person and dog. Brought her home and got to work on laundry.

Good Friday at work

Had another day trying to file prep for next week meetings. Then the phone rings. Then client arrives for a meeting. Then an advisor wants something scanned. Every mistake I make like yesterday someone brought in a form and spaced off scanned it and uploading to corporate website, I have to explain I am running on anxiety. Then the best part, since the secretary they suddenly fired did such a great job doing tasks to prepare for meetings for 15 years, the advisors don't know how she did tasks to train me to do it all. Please God let me win a sweepstakes. I want to retire from employers and open my own shop.

Well, girlfriend completed the onboarding website to start working at the fast food place. Roommate however the computer will not accept his signature to complete the onboarding so he went over and they can't figure out it out either. So he loses the job cause the computer refuses to accept his signature. I don't know. He says he will get another job. None of this makes sense. Maybe he was rejected after failing a background check and doesn't want to tell me.

Surprise at work

Had a stressful day at work. Secretary was fired. We were watching a required online meeting with corporate office telling us how to react to client concerns about the roller coaster market. Secretary answered their cell phone and took off their ear buds to start moving things around. I thought an advisor asked them to do something for a client. After a while, they have 2 boxes of stuff packed up. I pull off my ear buds to ask if they needed help with the boxes. She announces she was fired. After 15 years and about to retire in July, she was fired over too many mistakes and a client's money order was done wrong. They don't care about all the things she did right, only care about mistakes. I helped her take one of the boxes to her car. I hug her and she tells me to be careful and be on time. Then she called because she forgot her curling irons, so I grabbed those, and her husband came up to pick them up.

Advisor comes out of their office and explain it made me nervous cause I am still learning everything. Am I going to be fired next week? They assured me I'm not on the chopping block yet and keep doing what I am doing. They will be hiring someone new and guess who gets to train them when I barely know what I am doing. There is hardly any training going on here.

A while later the other advisor comes in asking if she was gone. Seriously, you work with someone for 15 years and don't have the nerve to face them when you fire them right before their retirement. The one who called is in another office today. All day long I was full of anxiety trying to get things done. I'm still recovering from my mother's death, trying to get ready for the farmer's market in 2 and half weeks, buying things I needed for a long time, tariffs sank my inheritance in 1 week, and I really don't need more stress worrying about my job when I can barely function. I thought I could work there 15 years too and retire cause this place wouldn't go out of business like some places would. People retire and quit jobs to do rollovers, surely business is good no matter what happens to the economy. Now I have to worry about being unemployed again.

Happy Palm Sunday

Went to church and came hoem with a palm branch. Put it in a vase on my bookshelf.

Renewing a passport

Reading the news how Trump is insistent everyone prove they are a citizen to vote, board a plane, enter the country, get arrested, or get stopped for having a license plate light not bright enough. Guess it's time to renew my passport in the event I do anything that I need to prove I was born here to American citizens who also were born here. Will someone please explain his drive to deport every foreigner, illegal and legal, tourist and permanent resident. If he wants to destroy this country, he is doing a great job of it. Thanks a lot.

I hate Google sometimes. I look up the passport website to renew my passport online and thought I applied to renew my passport through the government agency. Payment wasn't going through so had to call the bank which showed up as a fraudulent transaction on my debit card. Had alert removed so transaction went through. Get an email my payment was received. It is a private business that examines my passport application for mistakes then sends me a PDF of the real passport application to fill out and give instructions how to apply for a passport, oh and pay the government to process my application. What did the hell I just pay for? I demanded my money back. I doubt they will refund me. Now have to look up the real Government Passport Agency and pay again for the real passport application. And guess what, I can't do it online. I have to do it in person.

New dishwasher came

Dishwasher came and guy hooked it up. He was still unhooking the old one when I came home from work. Had to lock up the dog cause can't have her jumping on the guy while he is working. Took her for a walk after he left to local walking trail. Have a sink full of dishes so will try it out tonight.

Ordered new dishwasher

Well that was fun. Ordered my dishwasher. It will come Thursday and got a new pet vacuum for deep cleaning. Gave my number for the store membership discount and clerk said "Hello, Catherine Humpfries." Got another person using my home phone number for a store account. They asked if I recently changed my number. No, had my number since I moved out of my parents' house in 2004. My account had my cell number on it.

Happy April Fool's Day

OMG. I just can't believe it happened to me. Publishing Clearinghouse showed up at my job telling me I won a Lotto Game last night. After all these years I finally won 2.5 million dollars. I can't stop shaking. First thing I will do is quit my job and go shopping. Yeah, I wish. Happy April Fools Day!

Birthday lunch for March birthdays

Stress. Having lunch to celebrate March birthdays today. Sigh. Food place chosen has pickles included with every sandwich on the menu. I asked for no pickles on my sandwich cause of my allergies. I hate eating out with people. I know I'm a freak who doesn't like spicy food and allergic to pickles. I brought food from home just in case. At least I was warned to bring cards for the birthdays so I wasn't the only one without a card to give.

Had a lovely lunch with everyone at work. Food was okay. Roommate called in the middle of it cause he fell off his scooter to hurt himself. He might ned urgent care. That led to questions of how we met and where he came from. He started new job today so happy about that. Then it got brought up he started new job a month ago. What happened with that? That didn't work out. That led to my kindness being abused which led to fearing for my life cause I have an inheritance coming and bums can easily kill me to empty my accounts. My family has already relayed their fears about my roommate and squatters rights cause my roommates are inable to get a job and/or keep a job more than 3 weeks. I swear sometimes I want to sell my house, buy a camper, leave everyone behind to start fresh somewhere else to cut all contact with everyone cause I am getting sick and tired of people telling me how to run my life. I have to careful what I say on social media cause it will make me look bad. I don't post about everything up here. There was time I was injured and none of you saw my roommate's face when he found me. He was worried about me to get me help I needed. You expect me to believe this is a cold heartened killer. He had 2 years to steal from me. You don't know him like I do. All you see is unemployed guy and you jump to conclusions. I am sick of it to divorce everyone.

New Medicaid requirements

State Legisalture is working on requiring work of at least 8 hours a month to keep Medicaid. Yeah, both leeches in my house are on Medicaid so they better find jobs to keep it. Roommate has a dentist appointment in a month to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He needs to keep the Medicaid. I wonder about people who can't get hired. They say recession is coming and lots of government employees are out of work.

Sad News

So sad. My Mom's friend she met at her senior living apartment had died. He had a stroke that paralyzed half his body and was so happy when she visited. We chose to place her in the same skilled care center so they could visit each other. I guess he faded away when Mom died. At least they are together again.

Spring is Here

Oh happy day. I looked outside into the backyard and my flowers coming up and grass turning gree. Spring is here. Gave dog her first bubble bath in the tub. She is starting to stink. She tolerated it and then jumped out.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Had a trying day. Was told to prepare letters and update client info in the system on Friday. Now this person who gave me a list of clients to service is upset I did as I was told and condescending (Don't you think... As if I am paid to think and would know what they would do). I needed to wait until they confirmed the info in system A before updating system B. And I was suppose to know or ask if system A was correct before working down the list of client names given to me updating system B. Why didn't this person confirm all such info before giving me this list of clients telling me to to update their info?

Later I explain to secretary that I am getting frustrated. These people are never around and only come in for client meetings which means they are busy preparing for the meetings when they are there. I actually said to the secretary with arms spread out in a surrender, What do they want from me? Training is practically nonexistent.

New glasses arrived

Went in to get my new glasses. It is so nice not to wear broken glasses anymore. Adjusting to the shift in the bifocals. That was fun driving home.

Visited sister

Visited sister about their visit to the financial advisor. I made my appointment for next week. She gave me some of Mom's things. Got the paperwork to do her taxes. Mom owes of course cause she had trouble figuring out to take taxes out when she removed money out of IRAs then refused to pay estimated taxes. Got home and put stuff away. Got screamed at by my roommate that I am irresponsible with money getting a dog and spending moeny on it. I have to buy dog food and I am getting koney soon I am buying my new dog a few things like toys and a bunny hoodie (she is adorable in it). And he spotted fleas in the house and can't go through another infestation. I can call an exterminator when I get my money from the financial advisor. I got the dog flea medicine so they should be safe. I have a flea comb.

Then he freaks out on me talking the dog for a walk in the neighborhood because he has heard gang whistles walking to work and taking the dog to a local park for quality time with his girlfriend. They like to play on the swings. I can get shot and my dog stolen cause Corgis ar expensive dogs. I rarely see cop cars around and see my fellow neighbors walking their dogs and I am supposed to believe I live ina dangerous neighborhood. He calls my area the "hood". He demands I take my phone and pepper spray when I take the dog out for a walk. He also doesn't want me to walk the dog at the lcoal lake cause they can bring home fleas from other animals. Fleas are already here. He says he can't wait to leave this house when he gets some money. Go on, then. I won't beg him to stay. He pushes me to financial ruin not working. I got him a scooter to do food delivery and he doesn't make much.

Winter morning, Summer afternoon

Went to work in a sweater and winter coat since it was 32 degrees outside. Leave work and it's 80 degrees so took off sweater and coat to go walking at local lake. Lots of people, families, and dogs. Had trouble finding a parking spot. Came home to turn on the A/C.

Purchased some popcorn at work and it got stuck. Could not shake it loose. Called for a refund. Have to wait until Friday. Spotted a trapped Skittles. Purchased a candy that set the Skittles free and got both candies. Good day.

Construction at my walking trail

Had a wonderful walk around Gray's Lake which is under construction until next spring. Seriously, who starts landscaping products in January? Thanks mild winter.

I got a dog today at the animal shelter. Been looking at shelter animals since my furbabies died. I need another pet. Her name is Anna. Her prior owner had to surrender her for health reasons so I assume that means a nursing home. She is 4 years old and a Corgi so not too big for my small house. She is so happy and eager for attention. No anxiety or fear I expected from a dog changing owners. She only been in the shelter a few days, they didn't have her picture up on the website, just the breed. I was worried about being allergic and reacted to the room, but not to the dog brought to me. I petted her, fed some treats that she refused, and didn't want to play. The sad part is I can't share this on social media cause of all the grief I get from people who tell me not to get a new pet. I have litter boxes and food and treats for cats. I am getting cats someday. I waited months to get rid of these stupid fleas to get a new pet. I've wanted a dog since I was a kid. My aunts had dogs and I love animals.

Adopting her was awkward, had a couple of ladies who wanted to adopt her cause the older lady needed a companion dog and I had to watch the shelter volunteer explain she had been adopted. I didn't say a word. I even stopped at the old hotel to show off my dog. Hadn't seen them for 2 months so I had to say hello eventually. This dog walked 2 miles around this lake trail without rest. She has stamina. She jumps into bed with me and slept on my feet. She knows I'm the master who feeds.

I felt an urgency to get a dog cause I keep having bad visions of being robbed and murdered in my sleep. In the dream, someone shoots me, steals from the living room, and then runs into my roommate in thr kitchen who fights him off. He calls the cops crying his roommate was murdered and he is covered in blood (but not mine). There is a cat in the dream who hides under the bed when the intruder come to the door of my bedroom. There is no dog in the dream. I wanted a noise maker more than guard dog. Hopefully this dream won't come true and just a warning.

Happy Ash Wednesday

Hallelujah, Praise the Lord! I received approval to be in Local Farmers Market. Hoping to make money and get my name out. People aren't going to buy your merchandise if they don't know you exist. With Mom's money I might expand (not too fast cause that is how I got into trouble last time being too optimistic). I am thinking food items and start a video channel to promote it, or tie dye clothings, or designing t-shirts. Been looking at heat oresses for tumblers, mugs, shirts, bags, and even pens. I need to decide on a method. I researched magnets and photo pins too. So much equipment to buy.

Had fun getting to work this morning sliding around a few times. Then came home to my locks frozen so couldn't get the key in the hole. Went to the front door and roommate opened it. Pointed out the foot and half tall snow drift that is too high to plow through without injury so we dug a hole in the drift so I could get the car in the garage. How was your day?

Happy Mardi Gras

Happy Gras, Fat Tuesday, Carnival, whichever you call it. I was working then went home.

Christmas yard decorations down

Well, I did it at last. The day was sunny and warm and tomorrow will have a storm (rain or snow or who knows). I brought in the Christmas decorations from the yard and unplugged the icicle lights on the roof. Now have to put them back in their boxes and take them downstairs. Spring is coming.

Worked on items to sell for Easter. Probably won't sell anything but have to get stuff up o my shop the farmer's market people to see what I would sell.

New glasses ordered

Had fun getting new glasses today. Got money put on HSA card to cover the extra that vision insurance doesn't cover. Well 2 vision insurances are not insurance, but discounts. One is a 30% discount and one is 20% discount so I can get 2 pair glasses. Pick out a pair of sunglasses and a pair of glasses. There are no prices on the glasses samples. Total is $1400 with discount plus another $70 co-pay for eye doctor visit. Um, I don't have that much on my HSA card. Tell clerk I didn't realize glasses cost $900-$1000. The clerk says he wished he knew that. He goes behind the counter to bring out a couple drawers that are $179. Getting 1 pair this time. They are ugly. He grabs all the pink ones. I am not crazy over pink though my sweater I am wearing is a pale pink. Finally decide in decorative blue ones. I don't really like them, but I can tolerate them like a lot of things I wear. Hey, I have buy what people make. Drop the polycarbon for plastic that will be heavier. Then take off the reflective coating that my current glasses have. Which probably explains why I hardly use my sunglasses and have trouble seeing at night cause reflective coating makes everything darker. Got price to reasonable rate then they have to add on the co-pay. Now my HSA card declined. Check the balance and still won't go through. I realized I have less on my card than I thought cause I didn't put money on my card this month cause I needed it for groceries. After I got my paycheck Monday, I had plenty of money to get me to the next paycheck. That is no longer the case. I want to cry.

Secretary back

Secretary came back today. Doesn't need surgery but do physical therapy. That's a relief.

Now the funeral is over now we have to wait to see Mom's financial advisor to get her money. Sister told them Mom died so accounts are frozen until she produces the death certificate. She got that so have to wait for the financial advisor appointment next month. I am not sure what's in her checking and savings. Sister's name is on all Mom's accounts as Power of Attorney. Have to pay for the funeral first, then see if Mom owes any taxes. Sister still hasn't given me her tax documents yet. Mom had life insurance and sister has to find the paperwork to put in a claim. I won't be a millionaire, but won't be in the poorhouse either. Roommate commented how my Mom's death saved my a**. No, her death saved his a** from being kicked out when my IRAs reach $0. I would be kicking him out in a couple months if had not died. I tried to light a fire last December to get a job or he will be booted in a couple months. He did get a fast food job as shift lead and quit after a few weeks when they wouldn't give him hours. Seriously, why hire him, train him, and then not have him work for a week. He says his manager is a heroin addict and encourages alcohol consumption while working. Who knows what the truth is with him. He screeched how manager was over an hour late to work once. Trying to hang on.

Had a good funeral

Back from the funeral. Church was half full. I made it through the eulogy as a stoic statue. Split up the flowers and I got angel figurine I picked out at the flower shop when deciding on casket flowers and baskets to go around the coffin. Now going back to live as usual. Gotta work tomorrow.

Mom's Eulogy

When Mom turned 80, us kids threw a big party for her at her senior living community. The theme was “A Life Well Lived”. She commented to me how she didn’t really do anything with her life. She joked when Dad retired from the railroad that she never gets to retire from cooking and cleaning. Before she married, she was a secretary at an insurance company and continued until she became a mother. Her children were her life. We had a large display of things about her life well lived. Her yearbooks, old photos of her family, her awards, her ribbons from county fairs she had in scrap books, objects she had sewn, and I got a Barbie doll with a poodle skirt to represent her youth graduating high school in 1957 to be part of the display. She played the clarinet in the school band, participated in 4-H complete with a trophy that she won but could not accept in person because she had the mumps. Her sister had to accept it for her. She had Order of Rainbow Girls pins displayed in her home. She babysat, taught Sunday School, taught craft projects to junior high kids at my school, sang in the church choir, participated in ladies church groups, help count the offerings after church services, was director of crafts during Vacation Bibe School with me as her assistant, organized a town-wide garage sale with a friend where several families in Milo had garage sales the same day, sewn quilts and t-shirt cloth diapers for World Relief, she was the treasurer to our high school’s music boosters. She joined the town quilting club, the town's 4th of July committee who gave her an award for her service, and the our county genealogy club. She spent years researching family history visiting cemeteries and courthouses. She spent years trying to find a connection with Mary Todd Lincoln and, happy to discover her great-grandmother turned out to be cousins with the former First Lady. She even worked on my Dad’s family history tracing ancestors as far as she could to the 1st immigrant who came to America and found a relative had rung the Liberty Bell. My Mom did plenty with her life.

Mom’s life began in her aunt’s farmhouse near Dexter in 1939. She was the second child following a brother and eldest daughter of who lived on a farm. Two more sisters came later, and one shared her birthday. At first, she wasn’t sure she liked this human birthday present, but she gladly told everybody that they were twins born seven years apart. She learned to play the piano and when she had her own house she enjoyed playing an electric organ. She tried to grow a vegetable garden for a 4-H project, but the vegetables were eaten by grasshoppers. When she had her own family, she was a leader in her elder daughters’ 4-H group. Mom loved her flower beds that she said came from the prior owner. My Mom made many of her own clothes and even sewn her own wedding gown and tiara veil that now sits in the town’s museum under the label “homemade wedding gown”. Mom also made clothes for her children and grandchildren. She made doll clothes for her daughters and Halloween costumes for her granddaughters. That was something special I cherished about my Mom. A trip to the fabric store where we looked at pattern books for clothes we wanted, picked out the fabric and buttons, and she would make it for us. The last item she made for me was a quilt from her Aunt’s scrap fabric pieces. All those homemade things that took weeks or months to complete were not just a hobby, but an act of love. Many items she made went to charity through the church. One project she joined through church was making burial clothes and blankets for stillborn babies. A few years she entered a doll clothing contest at a bank whose dolls were donated to charity after the contest. I’m certain she won at least once and received a prize. She entered the county fair with her sewing projects and was proud of her ribbons. Later she entered items in the genealogy section too and won more ribbons.

She took us out for trips in a pull-out camper and forbade television until Dad came along to watch a small, black and white, travel television set. We swam in lakes and campground pools, enjoyed playgrounds, read books, played card games, and took walks on nature trails. Mom appreciated learning about history and viewing nature. We learned patience when Dad had to read every sign in a museum. Once we took a cross-country camper trip to visit her brother who lived in Washington. It was quite a sight seeing our camper in their driveway for a week. Later, she took her granddaughters camping. We traveled by camper across the country visiting national or state parks plus historic houses and museums because Dad would never fly us anywhere until the family went to London and then we had to fly. When we went to Paris on the chunnel, I took a boat tour with Mom while the rest of the family went to the Louvre Museum. Mom didn’t want to walk that much, and I kept her company. We had lunch by the Eiffel Tower from a food truck. Once she became a grandmother, she was proud of every little accomplishment her grandchildren reached from first learning to walk to dance recitals, softball and baseball games, and graduating college with honors. She was certain to show visitors her photos of her grandchildren and later great-grandchildren. We all were her pride and joy. Like her mother before her, Mom would bake food dishes from scratch. There were no TV dinners in her house. When we had school Christmas parties, I brought Mom’s homemade fudge because that was one thing nobody else brought (and it was delicious). She was astonished that kids nowadays don’t know what fudge is. Every Christmas she would ask us what treat we wanted her to bake, and I always said English Toffee. That was something she passed on to her daughters and granddaughters who bake holiday treats from scratch, sew, and make crafts.

Once Dad left us, she moved into a senior living community to be around people and at the age of 72, learned to play poker with nickels and dimes. One thing the residents noticed was that widowed Mom continued to wear her wedding ring. After 45 years of marriage, she wore it for years simply because Dad gave it to her. Dad always joked he was tricked into marrying Mom. She went away on vacation with her family to California. When she returned, he had missed her so much that he blurted out a proposal after a date while sitting in the car taking her home. She received her engagement ring along with chocolates and roses later, on her birthday at her parents’ house. We kids teased Dad that Mom could have met a Hollywood star in California and left him behind. It was a miracle they got married at all. When they met at a YMCA dance, Dad asked Mom to dance, and she turned him down. He said he was a railroad man, and they were known to be skirt chasers which encouraged her to reject him. Later they met again in a round robin circle dance and Dad was not happy to see her. Mom was a proper, gracious lady and smiled to dance with him to learn that he was no skirt chaser, so she gave this shy guy a chance. Then before their first date, Mom got sick with pneumonia and ended up in the hospital. Her boarding house roommates commented that some guy kept calling for her and were unsure what to tell this stranger. She insisted they tell this guy where she was. Dad came to the hospital saying he was about to give up on her. And as they say, the rest was history. Life wasn’t perfect with Dad working on the railroad and Air National Guard to be away a lot. Mom was often alone with four needy children. Thank goodness Grandma was a few blocks away and did much babysitting so Mom could grocery shop in peace. He was also sweet picking flowers from Mom’s flower beds so she could have pretty flowers on the kitchen table to look at. At dance receptions, Dad would slow dance with Mom even though she said he had two left feet. At least my family has comfort that Mom is with Dad now and I know they are dancing together in heaven to the songs of angels