Back at the Farmers Market

Had a delightful time sitting aroudn waiting to sell 6 items. At the end when put away my stall, a group came up excited about my merchandise. Had someone asked if I owned a bunch of otters. No, it's the name of the brand.

Ebook Drama

I am ready to scream. Waited a whole month for another rejection for my Ebook Distribution. I have been trying for 2 months and 3 rejections formatting this ebook so these people will distribute it to book stores. My NCX is not formatted correctly. Of course, they will not tell me how to format it correctly so they will accept it. I have a farmer's market tomorrow, I don't have time for this ring around rosy, take a guess how to format a Ebook correctly.

P.S. I used Google and found an article saying to click Navigation Pane in the Word ribbon and highlight the chapter titles to click Heading 1, 2, 3 to create the ebook Table of Contents. Sigh. Have to do this later.

Went to my therapy appointment today . Had trauma gettign with 2 accidents and contruction causing a bottleneck. It was amazing I showed up on time. Expressed my doubts about roommate's job. Took him to work twice. 1st day they sent him home cause manager wasn't there. Next day he didn't have his documents for the onboarding so had to go home and get them. I did pick him up at nearby gas station. Therapist suggested I call the store and ask to leave a message for him so affirm he really has a job there. Another things stressign me out was that I bought him a $400 electric scooter for him to get to work and the next day he drove it through a mud puddle cause it was all terrain with tires like a truck. Electric scooters are not water proof and the engine wires were destroyed by the water. Now it doesn't work. So he wants to go get his girlfriend's scooter, 45 miles away. I have a therapy apppointment and need to get ready for a farmer's market. I don't time to drive 45 miles to get a scooter. I sent him the money to get a ride service. $40 to 45 miles plus tip. I hope I can return the scooter that he destroyed in 1 day. Therapist wants to meet this guy who I keep sheelign out money for and get nothing in return. Very hard to explain to others. I never had kids, and I am trying to help get back on hhis feet. He has issues that prevent him from succeeding. My Mom helped me when I was broke and on the edge of being homeless. It is my way of paying it forward. I know he is trying. He wants to get his own apartment, marry his lady, and have a family. He needs to get out of his own way.

Taking advice of contracting the store to find out if rooommate really has a job, I stopped by the store to get his schedule saying I was his roommate and he said the manager was working on his schedule. They wrote it down for me. I told him what I did and how proud I was of him for getting a job he actually wanted. He can now work hard and make his dreams come true. He was furious I went to the store to get his schedule. He had to beg for the manager to hire him after he blew them off the first time. He had to spend the night cause he couldn't get a ride so late at night and came back the next morning while I was at work. Luckily he had his keys to get in the house and made it to work with his girlfriend's scooter (which I paid for).

Roommate's First Day

Well, drove my roommate to his first day at work at 8 AM. He is furious he can't come in later and work a night shift. I explained maybe they were testing him. Plus, day hours is when the manager is around to train employees, but didn't mention that part. He text messages the manager wasn't there so they sent him home. Now I wonder if he is lying again. Came home and nothing is cleaned. I siad I am not advance paying him anymore. He spends the money on cigarettes or games controller then doesn't do the job. He doens't get paid until the job is done.

Made it to the Beach

Finally made it to Gray's Lake this summer. And it's cloudy it's hard to tan. Damn this continuous rain. Water was warm (usually it's cold). Had a twist (chcoclate and vanilla) soft serve ice cream cone that was delicious. Though after I got home and showered, my muscles were a little sore from swimming. People told me the water would be polluted with ecoli, but I checked online and beach was open. 2 others in town are closed from ecoli but not this one. If it's so dangerous, why is the beach open and refreshment stand open. They rent paddleboards and paddleboats along with kayaks.

Roommate got job, I hope

Well, roommate got a job. At the same grocery store he lied about having a job and then said he just couldn't make it to work at 11 AM his first day cause it goes against him getting up at 2 PM. He wanted to go to a movie to celebrate his new job. Yeah, I will celebrate when he gets his first paycheck. I don't fully believe he has a job when he lied about it the last time to avoid getting kicked out. First he said they have to run a background check and since his scooter handle broke, he will have to walk to work until the new scooter arrives. Well, here's hoping he does have a job since Medicad will get cut off if he doesn't get one soon. He was so happy talking to his girlfriend about having a job, maybe get 3 jobs and make money to get a car to do food delivery. Maybe he actually has a job this time. But he lied last time too so full of doubt.

RIP Ozzy Osborne

RIP Ozzy Osborne. The Prince of Darkness has gone to the light.

That was a first

Well that was a first. Anna headed for the door when I went into the kitchen to make lunch. So I let the dogs out since we haven't been out since early this morning. Neighbor next door mowing his lawn with his dog in the yard starts shouting "You had to bring those fuckers out when I'm mowing the lawn!" then he called his dog to go inside and Anna is by the fence pooping. Dogs were happy to see neighbor dog. Then shouts "You fucking bitch!". Naturally that caught me off guard so waited for Anna to finish her poop and called dogs to go inside. They hung their heads like they did something wrong. Why did he have his dog outside if he was mowing? I always keep pets inside when mowing. I met the neighbor before and introduced his dog to us.

Roommate discovered broken eggs in the carton and asked permission to hurl them at the neighbor who cussed at me. I gave permission to do whatever he wanted.

Another Interview and Farmer's Market

Roommate was trying to get an interview at another fast food place and eventaully was granted an interview. X fingers. He is getting heat from the Medicaid new law demanding able bodied people work 20 hours a week to kkep their Medicaid. If he gets a job with health insurance, he can kiss Medicaid good-bye. Medicaid sucks and hardly any doctors or dentists take it.

My advisor stuck in another city finally make it back home last night and arrived at work today. Poor advisor.

Had my farmer's makret again. Sold 5 items. Better than nothing like last time. I even offered a job to roommate to help with marketing sicne he thinks I should explore more social media websites. I don't have time to run the few social media pages I have now. He refused to work for me.

Drama Contnues

Fast food place is out. Same one girlfriend worked at and had a guy kept coming on to her that also got her fired when he told her to go home after she dealt with an angry customer.

Why they gave him an interview I do not know.

Tonight Austin is packing up girlfriend stuff. Apparently she communicated then blocked him again and he is tired of her games. He says he is done with her. We will see what happens.

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Birthday Mom in heaven. She would have turned 86 today. We had a tradition that I called her and sang Happy Birthday song to her. Now I have to light a candle in her memory. I had a dream of her last night. She hugged me and told me I will be okay and make some money, she always knew I would. I hope that means I will make at least 1 sale at my farmers market or sell some clothes on my online shop. It would be so nice if people liked my clothes. As a kid I loved drawing pictures of dresses, but sewing was not very exciting. I'm more of an artist than a builder. I woke up suddenly to cry out "Mommy" in my dark bedroom. My roommate was in the kitchen and asked if I was alright. I told him my dream of Mom and cried "Why did she have to go?". Then went back to sleep so I could get up for work in the morning.

Drama I Don't Need

Girlfriend finally blocked him on online wallet but didn't send back the $7 he sent to pass on messages. Why send a heart then block him? I think it's her family trying to push him out. He is devastated. I told him whether she talks to him again or not, he will be ok and needs to focus on himself. He hates being a burden on me and trying to get a job. Old flame never comes over and then blocks him so he is done with her. She is a single mother with 4 kids working at a fast food place and living in an apartment. Good for her now that her old boyfriend who was violent is out of the picture.

Got an interview tomorrow for fast food place girlfriend worked for. He is desperate. Even called an old job to get rehired. He thinks going by past texts from her before concluding she blocked him so she's not a distraction and he will focus on getting a job.

Well girlfriend finally stopped blocking roommate to explain she seeing someone more gentler and still wants to be friends. She said he can keep stuff. He is focused on his job interview tomorrow. He hates fast food but can't get factory work. At least he has an answer.

Had my therapy session tonight. I'm hurt. Blew out a tire yesterday and roommate put on the donut tire (which neither of us done before and needed to look at the manual). Then today before work, I go to the mechanic I've used for years to drop off the car to replace the tire and they take me to work that is 10 minutes away. Looked at tire and can't repair it. Also the rim is bent so might need to replace that. Mechanic looked at my other tires and said they were worn down to need replaced too. Looked at the year on tire and it was 2019 when it was a 2020 I bought in 2021 with 4000 miles on it. Plus alignment and suspension check. Go to work and advisors question if I really needed all 4 replaced when my mileage was 29,800. Tires must have been cheap or used tires to wear down that much. I checked online and tires need replaced 40,000 miles or 6 years. I don't know if I needed new tires or completely taken advantage of. I might need to check for 2nd opinions before expensive repairs beyond what I ask for. Therapist thinks I need to be more assertive in saying NO. And it's my my Mom's birthday. I didn't need this drama when already hurting.

Dear God, why ruin my day

Well, it was such a nice day out and have therapist appointment tomorrow to rain the rest of the week, so I decided to finally go to the beach and enjoy suntanning and swimming a couple hours after work. It's the middle of July and haven't been to the beach yet cause it keeps raining on weekends or too cold. Today I got a call at work how girlfriend said on social media she is in a new relationship when 2 days ago was their anniversary and they confessed their love to each other. He was suicidal and crying wanting to know what happened between them. She hates me and jealous of me when really should be jealous of someone else. He wants me to know this is all my fault from threatening to kick them out for not having jobs for so long. After work I drive over to where she lives with her family. He had her stuff packed up as an excuse to talk to her. Then decided to leave it at the house so she has to come and get her stuff back. Half way there, I hit a broken piece of concrete on the highway. I swerved to avoid it and it struck the inside of the tire. Had to call my brother in Michigan how to use the jack that came with the donute tire in the trunk, it's a square piece of metal. He said to look at the manual and saw a picture so we were ok. Neither of us changed a tire before. Nicely one end of jack pumper piece fit the tire bolts. It's a donut tire so turned back and went home. Old tire in trunk. Roommate said he prayed all day for a sign from God and took this event as a sign not to talk to girlfriend. He felt happier once he changed the tire. An old flame said she would visit him. Roommate reached out to anyone to talk to. She blocked him and everyone he knows.

When got home, he called her on my phone to leave a voice-mail. He discovered her online wallet hadn't block him so he sent her a dollar to message her. She answered with a ❤. He asked what that meant. I thought maybe her family pressured her to block him and break up with him. The new relationship could be them trying to make him leave. She is a basketcase. I explained she is not strong like me. That heart was her true feelings. She didn't block him after sending the heart. I hear him crying downstairs. Poor dear. He has been trying so hard to get a job and not be a burden on me, then this happens. I told him to focus on himself and give her space cause they have been video chatting practically every day. Hopefully he takes my advice. He is holding her stuff hostage hoping she will come get it. He can't figure out what he did wrong. She said in a post that she knows something, but who knows what. He said he analyzed her behavior to conclude this wasn't her, it must be her family influence, and sent a message saying he will give her space to work on herself and maybe reconnect in the future. He got some booze cause it is more than he can take and suicidal again. I told him not to wake me up again tonight like this weekend when he woke up me up at 3 :45 AM asking for sex then collapsed on the hallway floor crying over the rejection when he just wants to love someone and girlfriend isn't here. Sunday afternoon he said he woke up with no pants on and broken glass on the floor. He completely blacked out and has scrapes on his leg. I heard glass breaking and him crashing around going downstairs so maybe he scraped his no pants legs on the carpet on the stairs. He said he never blacked out before, some fuzzy memory returned later and was embarrassed apologizing for hours. He promised not to wake me up again. He swore no more alcohol after Saturday night black out, but that no longer applies when he is devastated from his girlfriend blocking him. Old flame has to get a babysitter so coming by tomorrow.

Don't know what God's plans are, but my one advisor is trying to get back from a trip. Supposed to come back Sunday then flight canceled due to storms so coming back Monday night. Well that is canceled now. Hopefully he can get back Tuesday. Should have just rented a car and would have been back by now.

Bad Diagnosis

Well, roommate told me that his girlfriend was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She commented seeing things roommate didn't see before so he had suspicion but she would never go see a therapist for her anxiety. He said she is applying for disability. Yes, they are talking again. He really misses her and wants a job so he can get her back. I suggested job training and seeing a therapist to sort out why he isn't getting hired. I'm sure his ADHD and lack of experience has something to do with it. He needs a job to keep his Medicaid. I believe there are deeper issues he needs to address instead of avoiding. But he has to be the one to call and set up an appointment. I can't do everything for him.

Vet visit

Good news and bad news from our vet visit. Ear solution helped remove Rufus's wax build up, but then vet saw inflammation underneath so Rufus has an ear infection. Got an antibiotic to give him the next 10 days.

That was fun swabbing 2 pups' mouth cheeks for their DNA test. They disagreed with it. Had to wait an hour after food/water so test doesn't get contaminated. Hopefully I didn't get them mixed up. I will know they are mixed if Rufus is a female Corgi and Anna is a male Terrier Mix.

Forgetful at work

Form signature page came in the mail that need to be filed. And I can't find the missing pages to file the form. Looking around I ound birthday cards I forgot to mail for an advisor to their clients. I feel so terrible being so forgetful. Now I'm worried they will fire me for screwing up so much. I'm trying so hard to hold it all together. I'm so stressed.

Had fun mowing the lawn. Roommate complained how tall it is getting. Because I paid him to mow the lawn and he never did it so why would mow it. He complained my lawn mower is screwed up and need another. I took the mower and refilled the gas to have it work just fine. I bent over to refill the gas when it kept stopping in the tall grass. I peed my pants. Didn't have to go, it just came out. While I went inside to wash up and put on new clothing. Roommate was amazed how wonderful the mower worked. Yeah, he was filling half the gas tank like the oil shouldn't be full. Like my car, it runs better when gas tank is full. Don't need a new mower after all.

Fun at work

Having fun in the empty office with nothing (or very little I already got done) to do.

Well peeps, I went and did it. Spent hours designing my first clothing from Print on Demand place that connects to my shop I already have cause the website kept blinking and erasing my work. Finally took a snippet of my design and saved it. Now have my designs on bathing suits. I plan to order one myself. I chose swimsuits cause I am sick and tired of going into store, look for my size, and ALL THEY HAVE IS BLACK! Going to work on kids swimsuits tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Favor from Roommate

Well, that was a short. Girlfriend is talking to roommate again. Guess she got over the broken promise.

Roommate wants to build and remove my patio and put in a fire pit he wants to have. I explained I would need a permit to alter my house and its value. Oh, it's my house and I should do whatever I want and ignore the law. I explained I will not have the city knocking on my door and taking down my deck because I built one without a permit to hit me for a fine. We follow the law when altering my house. I looked at fire pit rules they must be 30 feet from house or anything flammable like a tree. Looked up deck permit. Must turn in diagrams of plans, draw out the posts, beams, stairs, and include distance from property lines to apply for the permit. Then it must be inspected 3 times, 1 for post holes, 2 for the frame, and 3 for final product. I need to pay for each inspection. I am certain roommate is not willing to go through that. Then I asked my brother who volunteered for Habitat for Humanity and electrical engineer his opinion of building a deck on my house. My patio slopes. He said my back door is too low for a deck, that's why I have a patio. Sigh. Told roommate no deck. I think he understood.

I made an important decision. I want to see Australia next year. I get a week vacation so unsure if have time to see New Zealand and Tasmania too. Now have to renew my passport, it expired in 2012.

That was fast

Well that was fast. Getting dog DNA tests and offered to get roommate one since he wondered about his ancestry from being adopted. His cost less than the dog tests. Well, I have it set up with his email so he can view the results. He used his girlfriend's phone so his email is connected to her phone. She sees his email about the DNA test and roommate forgot he promised her they would get DNA tests together. He promised and he broke a promise, so she broke up with him. Over a DNA test. I told him I think there was something else more to this. He gets on his phone and can hear him shouting downstairs. He comes back and says they are down stating she is really immature. I should mention at my therapist, guy said roommate needs to find a new home. Give him a deadline to leave or it's 2 more years supporting him. He set the deadline to Aug 31 so I told roommate he needs a job or needs to leave. I cna't keep supporting him forever. Even with my inheritance, I don't want to run out of money before I retire. Nobody else in my family will be leaving me money whenever they die.

Roommate said to cancel the test, but the website won't let me. Guess this means she won't be moving back in when he gets a job. He said she was a distraction, and he needed to focus getting a job. One less mouth to feed for me. I told roommate I was sorry for her breaking up with him over a DNA test I offered. It gave him a mission to get her back and move into an apartment together. I did warn him she would leave him when she found someone with money, and he blew up at me for insulting his girlfriend. He was an escape from her crazy family more than love and he sent her back to her family, so he didn't get kicked out of my house. I asked roommate if we need to mail anything to her and he got upset saying they might get back together. Tomorrow he is to a nearby job office to try to get a factory. He said girlfriend says I interfere in their relationship. To which I reply that if they both left I wouldn't interfere in their relationship. Roommate got upset saying he hates me saying that when they are trying to get their lives together.

DNA tests for dogs

Well, I decided to get DNA tests for the dogs. This will be fun getting results.

Oh no, I am a terrible dog mommy. I looked at the calendar to see Rufus has his vet appointment on Friday. I forgot about putting a solution in his ears to help soften the wax built they couldn't get last time. Did the solution and he shook his ears (which is allowed per directions on the bottle). Have to remember to do it again before Friday. Sigh.

Happy 4th of July

Spent four hours at a farmer's market selling my wares. And not a single sale. Had a girl take interest in a piece of merchandise her mother was willing to buy for her. Then Mama asked if she wanted to keep looking. Girl wanted to keep looking. I literally cried on the way home. Since I won't be replacing sold merchandise on my shelves. Think I will start omn demand printing designs. Thought to buy a heat press and sublimation printer for about $1000. Or I could intergrate an already print on demand shop who connects to the online shop I already have. I make the designs and advertise it. They fulfill the orders and split the proceeds. Costs me nothing. Ebook was rejected again from not having a table of contnets and page numbers. Fixed it and have to wait for the acceptance for distribution.

Went out to see a parade with my dogs and then went to sister's house for grilled food. Her dog was okay with my dogs visiting. Then took them home before going to the fireworks. There was no way I was taking my dogs to see fireworks. Then when got home, my roommate and I set off a bunch of fireworks from the driveway and street. Good thing I'm on a dead end street to lay down pipes without worrying if some car will come along and drive over it.

Bank fees

Nice. Earned 47 cents in interest for a savings account. Bank charged me $5 for a paper statement. Got it changed to electronic statements. Next month I will keep my 47 cents in interest instead losing money every month.

Hoping to get sales at the Farmers Market who are having a big concert street party and city is having their parade nearby. Because of the concert street party, I will be allowed to stay there until 10:30 PM. We will see if I get any business to stay past 8 PM. X fingers.

Return to therapy

Oh what joy is mine. Started therapy again. Had to quit last time cause ran out of money. Much has changed. Declared bankruptcy last summer, lost 2 cats to fleas, started new job, Mom died, and now trying to sell things at the farmer's market to have few sales. Oh, got a new roommate last summer dumped in my house and she got kicked out when I threw a fit about being lied to about not having a job and threatening to kicked both of them out. Now having her gone I have one less mouth to feed. Roommate wants to leave and has a plan, but execution of that plan is dismissal. Therapist says I'm a pushover saying they must leave in 30 days to back down giving more time to get a job, but no deadline. I tried to get roommate to see my therapist and he was ready to go during a crisis where he thought he and girlfriend had a STD, but his hometown friend talked him out of it. So next we talk of my stress. Everyone from family, coworkers, church people, and now therapist now all scream to throw the bum out. It stresses me out not helping me move him out. Therapist thinks 60 days is enough time for him to find a new home and/or new job. Why is it so hard? Believe me, it is hard to get hired when you have the wrong personality that doesn't fit into any workplace.

I have homework. Get together with female primary care physican and get a physical to get help with my anxiety pushing up my blood pressure. Lay down the law with roommate and kick him out at the end of next month. And finally quit my online shop that doesn't sell and focus on my stories I am editing into ebooks. Writing can be therpeutic. Yeah sure. I'm tempted to never go to therapy again. I don't like being pushed into directions I don't like going. But, I think, that is the purpose of therapy to leave your comfort zone and fix problems.